Page 15

Colin

I s it considered bad manners to fantasise about everything I want to do to Ellie right now while having dinner with her family?

Probably.

Do I care?

Not really.

I can’t help it though, not when she keeps looking at me across the table every five fucking seconds with those gorgeous green eyes. Every time she does, I have to physically restrain myself or keep my hands preoccupied so I don’t do something incredibly stupid like haul her into my lap so we can finish what we started upstairs an hour ago. I have no clue what changed since we left Craigavon or how to even begin to explain what happened, or almost happened, between us outside Luke’s room. What I do know is that if her mother and brother weren’t here, she’d be writhing underneath me in a bed right about now.

Somehow though, and I’m honestly not sure how, I manage to get through supper without completely embarrassing myself and by the time everyone says goodnight and heads to bed, I’m so painfully hard it’s actually a major relief to slip inside the guest bedroom and close the door behind me. I lean back against it, willing myself to calm down, but no matter how many deep breaths I take or unpleasant thoughts I try to force into my brain, it doesn’t make any difference.

I can’t get her out of my head .

It’s a futile fucking effort.

Fuck .

I reach down, adjusting my cock in my jeans for what feels like the millionth time.

I need to do something about this or I won’t be able to sleep.

Quickly stripping off my jumper and toeing off my shoes, I head towards the ensuite bathroom and turn on the shower, letting the water get to a suitably warm temperature before I remove the rest of my clothing and climb in, positioning myself underneath the hot, inviting spray. As soon as the water hits my skin, I let out a low groan, quaking with need as I place one hand on the tiled wall of the shower and wrap the other around my aching cock.

You don’t have to thank me, Ellie.

I know, but what if I want to thank you?

Breathing heavily, my eyes close and I can see her in the passageway again, wetting her lips as she stares at my mouth. I can still taste her on the tip of my tongue and recall that fucking delicious jasmine scent of hers. The way her breathing hitched when I scraped my teeth over her skin, how she whimpered and moaned when I brushed my thumb over her taut little nipple and dipped my fingers into her cunt. I spent the majority of dinner imagining her making more of those sounds, except she was on her knees with her mouth wrapped around my cock, ‘thanking’ me as she called it. I move my hand over myself, but in my head it’s hers, jerking me off with her soft body wrapped around mine. Her perfect tits are flush against my chest, her de licate lips kissing and sucking languidly on the hollow of my throat. Clenching my jaw tightly, I tip my head backwards, water spilling over my face as I pull on my dick faster and harder until bolts of lightning start to burst beneath my skin. Steam swirls around me, my blood heats, my breathing shallows and I feel my muscles tense up right before I come, her name spilling from my mouth with a deep, guttural gasp. I stand there afterwards with my head bowed, shaking slightly with aftershocks and trying to catch my breath.

I’m not ashamed to admit that this isn’t the first time I’ve thought about Ellie while doing this and it probably won’t be the last either, because I have a feeling that until I get the real thing nothing else will satisfy this burning need I have coursing through me when it comes to her. I should feel ashamed. We’re supposed to be friends, after all. I’m not supposed to jerk off to thoughts of my friend. In a way it feels like crossing the line she’s drawn between us.

But I’m not so sure ‘just friends’ is what we are anymore.

At least, I fucking hope we aren’t, but it’s not up to me to decide that.

After the agreement we made, I swore to myself that the only person who would ever have the power to change that was Ellie. If she turns around tomorrow and tells me that what happened in the passageway was a moment of weakness or, God forbid, a mistake, then yeah, it’ll suck. I certainly won’t feel good that’s for sure, but I’ll get over it and we can go back to waiting for the rugby season and the article to be over before bringing it up again.

If she wants to take things further though, then I’ll be all in. Without hesitation .

After having a proper shower and drying myself off, I wrap the towel around my waist, pad back into my room and open my bag on the bed, searching for something to wear before finally settling on a pair of black lounge pants. My hands shake slightly as I pull them on and I flex my fingers, trying to get the sensation to stop only to sigh when it won’t. How the hell am I supposed to sleep right now when I’m still so keyed up? It’s like what happened in the shower a few minutes ago did absolutely nothing to abate my internal struggle.

Is this my punishment, I wonder?

For not caring anymore?

For wanting more?

A faint knock on the door interrupts my inner debate and when I stand and open it, I’m a bit surprised, but definitely not disappointed when I find Ellie on the other side. She’s wearing long, grey and pink checkered pyjama pants and a white t-shirt. What little makeup she had on earlier is gone and her long, chestnut brown hair looks wet, falling around her face in soft natural curls.

Did she have a shower too?

The image of her naked beneath a hot spray of water has my cock twitching wildly all over again. I watch as her eyes widen almost comically, openly ogling my bare torso. When she realises too late that she’s staring, a deep red hue covers the apple of her cheeks.

Fucking adorable.

I smirk and fold my arms across my chest.

“Everything alright, Simpkins?”

“Uh yes, sorry,” She clears her throat and quickly averts her eyes up to mine, “Yes, everything’s fine. I just wanted to talk about what we’re going to do with Luke tomorrow. ”

“Tomorrow?” When I look confused, she quirks an eyebrow at me playfully.

“Yes, tomorrow. My mom said during dinner that she has to work so she asked if we wouldn’t mind watching Luke for the day, remember?”

“Oh right, of course.” Sorry, I must’ve missed that while I was busy fantasising about you, “Did you have something in mind?”

“Well, there’s this annual Christmas market that’s on at the moment so I thought maybe we could take him there?”

I nod, smiling immediately. “Sounds like fun.” Even though I’ve only known her brother for less than half a day, I already know Luke will love that idea. She wasn’t kidding when she warned me in the car. Aside from rugby, the kid is borderline obsessed with Christmas. “Maybe I could do a training session with him as well? If we have the time?”

“Oh yes,” She aims a shy, cute-as-fuck grin at the floor, “That would be great too. He’ll love that”

“So, it’s settled then?”

Ellie nods, shifting on the balls of her feet and biting the one corner of her mouth like she’s stalling for some reason.

“Need anything else, love?” I ask, leaning my shoulder against the doorframe.

“I – I also wanted to say goodnight to you.” She works her throat. “Properly.”

With her family around we only managed a smile and a brief wave before.

What exactly did she have in mind now?

I grin, slightly. “Is that so?”

She nods, keeping her eyes on me as she takes a tentative step forward and places a hand on my chest. She smooths her palm across my pec, gent ly scraping her nails over my skin and a shudder ripples through me, but I don’t blink. I don’t move a fucking muscle even as she draws closer and lifts herself up to me. The kiss she presses against my mouth is featherlight at first, soft and sweet like her, but I feel it everywhere. All over me. All around me, spinning my head and setting my blood aflame. My eyes close and my arms lower like they have a mind of their own, moving around her waist and tugging her into me. She lets me, the kiss deepening when her lips part with a silent sigh and I dip my tongue inside her mouth, grazing it against hers and sinking in even deeper. I hum low in the back of my throat. Fuck, she’s delectable . I could stay like this for an eternity with her in my arms. A moment later though we break apart, both breathing softly, and I compel my eyes to stay closed, afraid this will all end up being a dream if I open them too soon. When I eventually sum up the courage to look, my heart nearly leaps out of my chest when I see her beautiful, flushed face in front of me, smiling brightly.

Fuck.

She really is the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen.

I want more of her. All of her if she’ll let me and judging by her body language and the way her eyes have turned a shade darker, I’d say that’s what she wants as well. One day.

“Goodnight Colin.” She whispers.

I swallow forcibly. “Goodnight Ellie.”

My fingers itch to keep her in my grasp, but I reluctantly let her go when she pulls away and it's literally torture having to watch her cross the passage over to the room opposite mine. She glances back at me and I barely catch sight of her cute, bashful smile before she slips inside her bedroom and closes the door behind her.

And just like that, I need another fucking shower.

Tomorrow can’t come soon enough.

Ellie

I t’s midnight and I can’t sleep.

I can’t sleep, because every time I close my eyes all I can picture is Colin’s ridiculously handsome face and the hungry, almost desperate look he gave me after I left his room hours ago.

I still can’t believe I kissed him.

I still can’t believe he touched me.

I went to him earlier with every intention of just saying goodnight and leaving with nothing more than a simple kiss as a way of reaffirming my decision to test the waters between us. I didn’t plan on giving in to that blinding intensity again so easily, but I caved and now here I am, wrestling with myself.

What would’ve happened if we hadn’t stopped?

What will happen next time when we don’t?

For the millionth time in the last hour, I turn onto my back with a frustrated sigh, kicking the heavy blanket off so I’m only covered by a thin sheet instead. Despite the frigid temperatures outside I feel far too hot underneath all those layers.

It's because of him.

I know it is .

Swallowing hard, I close my eyes, a plethora of thoughts invading my head. The kind of thoughts I hardly ever conjured up even when I was with Marco. Thoughts of Colin pressing me up against a wall, of his skilled mouth whispering heated words in my ear while his fingers sneak past the hem of my pants again. I gasp softly, whimpering under my breath when I brush my fingers over my centre lightly, imagining they’re his from earlier. I’m wet and achy already and even though I’ve never had sex before, I’ve read enough scenes in romance books to guess what it would feel like to have the weight of his body on top of me and his cock buried so deep inside my pussy that every time he moves, I can feel every inch of him, thrusting into me again and again. I exhale sharply, pleasure building as I arch my back and press my head deeper into my pillow, rubbing tight circles against my clit. I may still be a virgin, but this wouldn’t be the first time I’ve touched myself nor would it be the first time I’ve thought of Colin while doing it.

He’s supposed to be my friend.

He shouldn’t be the fantasy I picture in my head, but he has been every time I’ve done this lately.

I don’t want a fantasy though.

I want it to be him.

My clit throbs and my thighs clench around my hand. The closer I get, the warmer I feel. Sweat breaks over my skin, my heartbeat picks up rapidly and I have to physically bite back a loud moan when my walls start to flutter and my body jerks. I fall apart, Colin’s name tumbling from my lips in a soft, desperate plea. Still breathing heavily, I open my eyes after a few minutes, expecting to see the confines of my bedroom, dimly lit by the fairy lights hanging on the wall opposite my bed, only to pause when I notice someone who shouldn’t be there looming near the door.

It’s him.

I know it is without even having to think about it.

Colin.

Oh my god…Did…Did he see me?

Did he hear me say his name?

I’m equally mortified and turned on by the thought, so much so that I don’t realise that he’s moved closer until he stops at the foot of my bed. We don’t say anything and I don’t move either, but my chest continues to heave when his hand reaches out, grasping the sheet and gently tugging it down my body. Even with the fairy lights, shadows fall across his face. I can barely see his eyes, but I can feel them on my skin, slowly burning a trail over every inch of my body. When he reaches where I still have my fingers pressed, he halts his gradual perusal. At some point, I must’ve subconsciously pulled my pyjama pants down and I don’t sleep with any underwear on, meaning with my knees parted like they are, I’m completely bare from the waist down in front of him. Heat and embarrassment prickles over my skin. I’m not sure how much he can see, but I’m sure much wouldn’t be left to his imagination either. Quickly, I remove my hand and move to close my thighs.

“Don’t,” He rasps and I pause, his weighty gaze holding mine, “Please. Don’t hide from me.”

It’s a simple request, one that holds so much meaning depending on whether I choose to listen to it or not.

I could ask him to leave and he would without question.

Or I could trust him and let him stay.

The decision is mine to make .

Feeling flushed and with my pulse still thumping loudly in my ears, I let my fingers slowly glide down the length of my stomach again. He follows the movement closely and the moment I let my legs fall back open and brush the tips of my fingers ever so lightly over my clit is the moment I see his resolve truly break. He stares down at me, his eyes blown wide with unchecked need, silently asking me a question.

Are you sure?

I nod.

I trust him.

I want this.

I want him.

Colin exhales heavily through his nose and without breaking eye contact, sinks one knee into the mattress followed by the other, climbing over me. Within seconds his mouth is on mine, kissing me like he was about to die if he hadn’t. His arms rest on either side of my head as he settles all his delicious weight on top of me and… Oh my fucking god. My fantasies didn’t do him justice at all. The real thing feels a million times better than anything I could’ve hoped for.

“Fuck, you’re stunning,” He breathes in between kisses, “You’re so fucking beautiful, Ellie. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this.”

His words make me mewl and whimper and that’s when I lose my own control, moving and capturing his mouth in a desperate, all-consuming kind of kiss because God…I’ve wanted this as well. So badly it hurts. I writhe underneath him impatiently, wanting him closer. Needing to feel more of him. My hands smooth over his muscular back, fisting the t-shirt he has on and giving it a yank until he breaks our kiss and leans back on his knees, effortlessly tugging it over his head and tossing it aside. I barely get a chance to appreciate his god-like body though before his mouth drops down to my neck, placing hot, open-mouthed kisses there. I tilt my head back and to one side, giving him better access, moaning when he sucks on a particularly sensitive spot in the hollow of my throat. A thousand thoughts swirl around my brain, but the only one I choose to focus on is how this is the culmination of everything we’ve been through. From the moment we met, we’ve been building up to this. It was inevitable, I realise – the two of us ending up like this and now I feel dizzy and free, in a way I’ve never have before, and it’s all because of him.

Only him.

“Colin.” I breathe, arching my back.

He rocks his hips into me, his sweatpants doing absolutely nothing to hide how hard he is and I freeze almost immediately. My fingers dig into his shoulders as a fresh wave of insecurity and panic suddenly resurfaces.

Oh no, he has no clue that I’m still a –

“– Hey,” Colin murmurs. He stops moving, having noticed the sudden change in my demeanour and pulls back, staying close enough that I can see the concern flooding into his features. “What’s wrong?”

Oh god, how do I do this?

How do I tell him that I’ve never really done this before?

Scratch that.

I’ve never done this before.

That the one time I almost did, my asshole of an ex basically implied that I was bad at it and wasn’t ready?

“Ellie?” Colin questions again. He brushes his thumb over my cheek, trying to coax me to look at him. “Talk to me, love. Did I do something wrong? ”

“No!” I say earnestly, quickly meeting his eyes and moving my hands up to cup his face, “No, Colin you didn’t do anything wrong. Nothing at all. It’s me. I’m –” I pause, taking a breath, “I’ve never…done this before.”

His brow crinkles, like he’s confused, but a second later it suddenly clicks.

“Wait, you’ve never had sex before?” Colin starts and I shake my head, biting my lip anxiously. “Not even with Andersen?” He adds a beat later, clearly stunned.

“No. We…We almost did once, but he stopped it and told me I was bad at it so –”

“– Hang on,” Colin interrupts, glaring now, “He said fucking what to you?”

“It doesn’t matter.” I massage his shoulders gently, sensing how angry he’s getting, “Really, Colin it’s fine.”

“Like hell it is! Apart from the fact that it’s fucking rude, how the fuck can he possibly know you’re bad at something when you’ve never fucking done it before?”

I shift beneath him, blinking back the tears that are starting to form in my eyes now.

Deep down he’s right. I know that, but it’s not enough to stop those horrible, self-conscious inadequacies from trying to claw their way up my throat again. The first time Marco and I tried, I was the one who stopped it, because I felt like I was being rushed. I was too young. Too na?ve and I wanted more time. I needed to feel comfortable so it would feel right. The second time, we came really close, but I stopped it again at the last minute, unable to ignore that something about the moment just didn’t feel right, which is exactly when Marco got frustrated and claimed it was my technique because he was struggling to get hard. By the time I felt I was ready to try once more, something still fe lt off and he was the one who pulled away, telling me I still wasn’t ready and that we should wait. He never went beyond foreplay after that, even if I tried to instigate something more, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt, telling myself it would happen when we were both ready.

Maybe he needed time as well.

Eventually, though, I stopped trying altogether.

“I’m sorry,” Colin whispers, palming my cheek and placing the softest kiss possible on my lips, “Please, don’t cry. Fuck him, okay? I don’t want you to think about him anymore. You just focus on me now. Let me show you how wrong he is.”

“But what if he isn’t wrong though?”

Colin stares down at me but doesn’t say anything, sensing how vulnerable I feel about this.

“Do you trust me?” He asks.

I nod. “Yes.”

He nods as well, brushing another gentle kiss against my lips before pulling out of my grasp entirely. I immediately want to protest the loss, but a different kind of heat sears into me a moment later when I realise, he’s sitting back on his knees and that his eyes are intensely focused on my bare pussy.

“Tell me, love did he ever touch you here?” Colin asks gruffly.

My head jerks with a nod, a throb of pleasure pulsing straight through me. My stomach swarms with butterflies and nerves. “Only with his fingers.”

The corner of Colin’s lips lifts with a smirk, a look of lust and satisfaction shining in his near-onyx eyes as he leans back over me, bringing his mouth to my ear .

“Excellent. Now be a good girl and close those gorgeous eyes for me.”

My throat bobs and I hesitate, but for only a second before I comply with his request and let my eyelids flutter closed. I feel him pull away again and at first, I can’t sense where he’s gone. Everything around me feels so still and silent that I can literally hear my heart pounding against the walls of my chest. The bed creaks as he shifts his weight and then I feel his large, calloused hands settle on my thighs, smoothing up and over my hips. They snake along my body, sliding underneath the hem of my shirt. The second he cups my breasts, squeezing them with just the right amount of pressure, a moan tumbles out of me and my back arches off the mattress again, seeking more of his touch.

“These are fucking perfect by the way,” He praises, rolling my pebbled nipples between his fingers, “The perfect size. The perfect weight. Like they were made specially for my hands.”

He pinches lightly and I gasp, air stuttering out of my lungs.

“C-Colin.”

The first swipe of his tongue on my pussy feels like a total shock to the system. The second nearly has me bursting at the seams. I jump, lifting my hips, but his arm comes down across my waist, pinning me back in place.

“Fuck!” He groans, going back in for another taste and then another, feasting on me like a man starved. “You’re fucking delectable, Ellie Simpkins.”

Oh my god!

My hands fly into his hair, the soft bristles gliding between my fingers as he laps at me, closing his lips around my clit and sucking on it purposefully. His light stubble brushes against my overly sensitive skin , adding an extra kind of friction that has my back lifting off the bed again right before something that sounds a lot like a sob slips out of my mouth. Like the stirred embers of a fire, pleasure bursts and crackles to life inside me, slowly building me up.

I’ve never felt anything like this before. I’ve never –

That train of thought gets derailed further when Colin unexpectedly slides one of his long fingers inside me followed tentatively by another. I gasp, mewling against the sheets, because… oh god! The sensation is a little odd, almost intrusive at first, but as he lets me stretch and adjust, that feeling quickly vanishes, replaced by a jolt of ecstasy when his fingers curl and he starts to move them, hitting a spot along my inner walls that has me crying out. His lips latch onto my clit again and I can’t help it, my eyes fly open. The sight of Colin’s face buried between my legs, his one hand still cupping my breast and squeezing, coupled with the unreal sensation created by his fingers sliding in and out of me, is an image I’ll never forget as long as I live.

If I hadn’t looked, I would’ve thought it was a dream.

Maybe it still is.

“I knew you’d be like this.” He murmurs, glancing up at me with a sexy smirk and kissing the apex of my inner thigh, “I knew you’d feel perfect. So fucking tight and wet and hot. I can’t wait to feel you stretch around my cock one day.”

One day.

His words and the fact that he hasn’t stopped moving his fingers nearly sends me over the edge right then and there. He sucks on my clit again, flattening his tongue against my pussy. My eyes roll into the back of my head and he hums with approval when I start to unravel, grinding my hips against his face and chasing my release as it steadily approaches.

“Colin, I…I’m…” Oh my god.

“That’s it. Come for me, love. I want to feel your cunt squeeze around my fingers and watch you fall apart under my tongue.”

Stars burst behind my eyelids and I find myself doing exactly what he asks; feeling my walls clamp and clench around his digits tightly as I free-fall and shatter into a million pieces. I turn my face into my pillow at the last possible second, muffling the loud moan that rips out of me. I come down slowly, quivering and still trying to catch my breath when Colin settles himself on top of me again, grabbing my jaw and turning my face towards him so he can sink his mouth over mine, kissing me slowly and deeply. I can taste my arousal on his tongue and I have to admit that I kind of love it. I smile into another kiss, feeling completely sated and as light as air. It’s similar to the way I feel after I touch myself, only this is better and a lot more intense.

I could definitely get used to it.

When I open my eyes, Colin’s already grinning, almost like he’s proud of me which is odd, because I didn’t do anything except have literally the best orgasm of my life. I should be proud of him for helping me achieve that, not the other way around.

“You see,” He says, “I told you I’d prove him wrong.”

I smile, delighted.

He did say that, didn’t he?

I giggle softly and because I can’t stop myself, I lean up and press another kiss to his lips. He deepens it and shifts above me, nestling in closer which is when I feel his still unmistakably hard cock b rush against my lower abdomen and a thought occurs to me.

“Do I have to – I mean, would you like me to return the favour?” Timidly, I reach for the waistband of his pants, but Colin catches my hand before I can get there.

“Nothing else needs to happen tonight, love. There are no expectations. No demands. Whatever you want from me. Whenever you want it, that’s exactly what I’ll give you . You to set the pace going forward, okay?”

My face softens as I stare up at him, a fuzzy kind of warmth flowing through my veins and into my heart.

“How are you real?” I whisper.

He grins broadly, leaning down and pecking the tip of my nose. “I don’t know, Simpkins. Stick around and find out.”