Page 14

Ellie

I must be mad.

Insane.

Completely certifiable.

There’s no possible way I would’ve agreed to do this otherwise.

Colin is coming home with me today.

He’s going to meet my family, live in my house and sleep across the passage from me for ten days. Not to mention, there’s also a high possibility that he’ll have another run-in with my ex-boyfriend, who also happens to be his biggest rival.

Why?

Because he wants to be there for me.

Because we’re friends.

Those are the thoughts I’ve been wrestling with for the last few weeks ever since we agreed to this ridiculous idea and now that D-day has officially arrived it’s all I can think about. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a relief knowing that I won’t have to sit alone like some pathetic loser while Marco and Nicole swan around like the latest celebrity ‘It’ couple, but that hasn’t stopped me from literally pacing a hole in the floor, because of how anxious I am about this trip. I tried to convince Colin to call it off. I even reminded him that he should be spending the holidays with his own family, but he still wouldn’t budge. Apparently, his family l ikes to vacation in the South of France and he didn’t feel like going this year. So, as it turns out, coming home with me means he won’t be alone on campus over Christmas.

I know you can take care of yourself, Ellie. I don’t doubt that you can, but I still want to be there for you, just in case you need me.

Ugh!

Why does he have to be so wonderful and sweet and genuine and so goddamn convincing? If he wasn’t then I wouldn’t be stressing out of my skull right about now. I turn to carry on pacing only to rear back suddenly when I nearly collide with Natalie.

“Morning jumpy,” She chuckles, smiling and looking me over like a knowing mother, “How long have you been up?”

“I’d prefer not to answer that,”

I stayed up half the night packing, unpacking and then re-packing my bag after I convinced myself that I’d forgotten something when I actually hadn’t. By the time I went to bed, the couple of hours of sleep I managed to get were restless at best. The last thing I need is to tell her that and have her go all mother hen on me right now. Nat must sense my reluctance to elaborate any further because she sighs and pulls me down so we’re both sitting on the sofa, wordlessly handing me one of the mugs of tea she was holding. I smile at her gratefully, lifting the drink to my mouth with a wobbly hand.

God, Ellie. Relax.

“So, I take it you’re nervous about today?”

“You think it’s crazy, right?” I blurt immediately, lowering the mug without even taking a sip, “I’m crazy for agreeing to do this, aren’t I? ”

I know Nat and Liv both hate the fact that they won’t be in Heathton with me over Christmas this year, especially now, but I wasn’t about to stop them from enjoying a trip to Europe with their families either. When I told them about Colin’s offer, I expected them to find it just as insane as I do. Instead, Liv squealed and practically hopped around like she’d had way too many Red Bulls while Natalie smiled warmly and commented that ‘that was very nice of him’.

I want her to be honest with me now though.

I need to know if I’m justified in feeling like this or if I’m overreacting like some crazed lunatic.

“Actually, I don’t think it’s crazy at all, El. I mean, it’s a bit unexpected sure, but I think it’s sweet that he wants to be there for you.” She pauses, studying me closely for a moment, “He must care about you if he’s willing to spend Christmas with you instead of his own family. It’s very…domestic.”

When she bounces her eyebrows at me suggestively, I send her a withering look. “Please, you know we’re just friends, Nat.”

“Right.” She muses, hiding a teasing smile behind a sip of her tea.

I frown at her, gingerly sipping my tea as well.

She’s behaving more like Liv than I want her to right now. Usually, I can count on her to be a bit more pragmatic than this and seeing as she’s kept Colin at an arm’s length, unlike Liv who took to him like a duck to water, I had hoped she would’ve pointed out the glaring flaws in this ridiculous plan of ours. Not endorse it and shove me out the door with a cheeky grin.

“Really,” I press firmly, “It’s not like that between us.”

It’s a lie though.

A gigantic, bare-faced lie, because she’s right .

No matter how many times I’ve tried to remind myself that Colin is just a friend. That we are just friends and nothing more, I can’t escape the warm, fuzzy feeling that gushes through me every time I think about him. I could force myself to believe that this gesture doesn’t mean anything. That he’s only coming home with me because he wants to get under Marco’s skin somehow, but I know the truth.

He doing this because he cares and, frankly, so do I.

I endure things like two-hour rugby practices and away games just so I can be near him. I latch onto every nugget of information I learn about him. Like how he dips salted pretzels in honey. Prefers C.Ds over vinyl, because while Vinyl sounds warmer, you can’t beat the clarity of a C.D. He loves the first two Jurassic Park movies. Thinks the score for Interstellar is Hans Zimmer's best work. He despises Brussels sprouts with a burning passion. Always orders pineapple on his pizza and doesn’t care what anyone thinks, and my personal favourite; he takes the tomato off a sandwich or burger before he eats it, same as me.

It’s more than that though. I miss him when he isn’t around, craving his presence the same way my lungs crave oxygen. Doing this article may have started as a way for me to build up my career, but I can’t pretend that it hasn’t become something more.

That somewhere along the way Colin became more to me.

Nat smirks, a suggestive look gleaming in her eyes.

“Well, if you’re ‘just friends’ then you shouldn’t have anything to worry about. Just enjoy your break and try to have some fun. What’s the worst that could happen?”

I nod, swallowing another sip of my tea .

She knows I’m lying through my teeth, but she’s right as well.

What’s the worst that could happen?

I don’t get a chance to conjure up any possibilities before someone knocks on the front door and a rock-sized lump wedges itself in my throat.

He’s here.

Oh my god.

No turning back now, I guess.

After hugging Natalie goodbye and promising her that I’ll call as soon as we arrive safely, she disappears upstairs and I shuffle over to the front door, feeling my nerves jump and my hands start to shake.

Come on, Ellie. You’re being ridiculous.

Blowing out a breath, I brush my sweaty palms down the length of my jean-clad thighs before I grab the door handle. You’d think after all the time I’ve spent around Colin that I’d be used to seeing him by now, but when I open the front door, my breath still staggers like it always does. Today he’s dressed in a pair of dark blue jeans, a thick dark green cable knit jumper and white trainers. Against the backdrop of the miserable grey clouds, his eyes look darker than usual, but no less mesmerising and his buzzed hair looks a bit neater as well, but still long enough that it would feel spectacular if I ran my fingers through it.

You know, if he wasn’t my friend and all.

“Hi.” I breathe, smiling up at him.

“Hi Simpkins,” He murmurs, his perfect mouth curling with that soft, crooked grin of his that makes my knees buckle, “Ready to go? ”

I nod, reaching for the handle of my suitcase which I left near the door, but he gently brushes passed m e , grabbing it before I can. Our fingers touch and that crisp, woodsy scent hits me, causing my skin to prickle.

“I’ll grab this,” He insists, lifting it without any effort, “You go hop in the car so long.”

A protest forms on the tip of my tongue, but another thought strikes me.

Wait, did he just say ‘car’?

Frowning, I step outside and my jaw just about unhinges when I see a sleek, black Jaguar XF parked next to the pavement outside my house.

Oh my god, is…Is that his?

“You bought a car!”

How?

When?

What the fuck!

“Do you like it?” Colin asks, walking passed me and loading my bag into the already open boot, closing it afterwards.

Like it?

I can’t believe it’s even real.

Wordlessly, I open the front passenger door and climb inside, sinking into the comfortable cream leather seat while my wide, awe-struck eyes scan the sleek interior.

The word ‘like’ doesn’t even begin to describe it.

“It’s amazing,” I breathe, running my fingers over the fancy dash, “But what happened to your bike?”

“Oh, I still have it,” Colin says, hopping into the driver-side seat, “But we obviously can’t take that to Surrey with all our luggage and I figure d driving down would be more comfortable than taking a train.”

“So, you bought a ￡48,000 car?” I shake my head, smiling incredulously, “You do realise how crazy that sounds, right?”

Not to mention impossible. Based on some of the special features in here this isn’t an average Jaguar you can simply drive off the showroom floor. It’s definitely a custom one.

“When exactly did you order this?” I ask.

“Um,” Colin’s face scrunches as he thinks about it, “About Ten weeks ago.”

Ten weeks ago?

My eyebrows knit together. Why would he –

Then it hits me.

That’s not too long after I went on his motorbike for the first time. I was completely terrified and even though I’ve sort of warmed up to riding on it since then, I still make a point of trying to avoid getting on the back of it if I can. Stunned, I sit there, wide-eyed and completely overwhelmed, because I refuse to believe he went and bought a whole bloody car just for me.

He wouldn’t seriously do that, would he?

“Colin, please tell me you didn’t do this for me?” I eye him desperately, needing to know the truth or hear him deny it.

He grins broadly though, shrugging. “I wanted to make sure you’d be comfortable travelling with me.”

I suck in a quiet breath, feeling my heart expand and my stomach do a series of flips. I shake my head.

“That’s insane, you didn’t have to do this. It’s too much. It’s…”

It’s –

But he reaches across the centre console, threading his long fingers with my slim ones (something he seems to love doing lately). My eyes fly up to his, enthralled by his warm, earnest expression.

“Yes, I did, love.” He says, flashing a heart-stopping smile like he didn’t just blow my mind, “Now let’s go meet your family, shall we?”

T he trip passes by in what literally feels like the blink of an eye and before I know it, we’re in Heathton, Surrey, the market town where I spent my entire life before I left for Armitage only months ago. I haven’t been away that long, but compared to Craigavon's bustle and infectious energy, it feels like I have been. The outwardly charming streets are practically deserted at this hour with only a handful of people still wandering around. It’s a lot later than we anticipated it would be when we arrived thanks to Colin insisting we stop to eat – twice – so most of the shops and restaurants are already closed for the evening, but a comforting warmth still settles in my stomach as I take it all in. Despite how nervous I am about this whole endeavour; I can’t help but love being back here again.

Back home.

When Colin parks outside my family's house, that warmth only grows.

I’ve been lucky enough to live in the same house my entire life and there’s something inexpiably consoling about seeing it again and knowing that nothing has changed in the months I’ve been away. The exposed red brick. The white mouldings around the windows and d oors. The black angled roof. The handmade wind chimes hanging near the front door. The post box my little brother and I painted stars on last Summer. The faded chalk drawings that we drew on the driveway together. It’s all still there, along with the rows and rows of bright, muti-coloured Christmas lights strewn over every hedge, tree and bush in the small garden out front. A fond smile touches my lips.

Lucas.

He’s obsessed with Christmas, more so than with any other holiday, so it’s not uncommon for our house to look like Santa threw up all over it during December, but it seems my little brother outdid himself this year, and believe me, that’s no easy feat. Last year he roped me into helping him make three life-sized reindeer out of wire and paper maché that ended up looking more like weird dogs with antlers. Based on this I can only imagine how ‘festive’ it’ll look inside.

“Wow,” Colin whistles low, “You guys take Christmas seriously, huh?”

I flush, grateful for the dim lighting in the car so he can’t see how red my cheeks are.

“You could say that. My little brother; Luke, this is his handiwork.” I gesture towards the over-the-top light display again. “Normally we’d only put up a few lights, but as you can see, he’s gone a little overboard. Probably because he’s trying to impress you.”

I wouldn’t be at all surprised if Colin’s arrival didn’t have something to do with this. Especially since I mentioned that he plays rugby. Luke may love Christmas, but rugby is undoubtedly his favourite thing in the whole world, so knowing he’ll have an actual rugby player around during Christmas will definitel y be an exciting prospect for him. No doubt my little brother has already prepared a million questions to bombard poor Colin with the second they meet. I make a mental note to be on hand for a quick rescue if he needs it.

“Consider me impressed then,” Colin says.

I look over at him, expecting to see him attempting to bite back a teasing smile perhaps, but my stomach twinges with happiness instead.

He looks genuinely amazed.

After climbing out of the car and grabbing our bags from the boot, which Colin insists on carrying again, we pass through the small garden gate and follow the narrow stone path up to the front door, which has been decorated with the old Christmas wreath that I made from a coat hanger, tinsel and red Christmas themed material back when I was primary school. I sigh and lift my hand, knocking twice. Not even five seconds later the door swings open and my mum appears, bright green eyes, infectious smile and all.

“Ellie bear!” She exclaims loudly.

Oh god.

My cheeks heat at the nickname and I just manage to catch sight of the amused look on Colin’s face before my mother pulls me in for a strong hug.

“Oh, it’s so good to see you!”

“It’s good to see you too, mum. ” Even though I’m literally dying from embarrassment right now. Thanks for that.

I can’t help but smile though, sinking into her. I didn’t realise how much I’d missed her or this, until now. When we finally break apart, she brushes my loose hair behind my ears and stares at me with a mixture of pride, care and happiness, before turning her attention to the man standing next to me.

“And you must be Colin.” My mum beams up at him, eyebrows lifting with intrigue as she looks him over from head to toe. “It’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard so much.”

She winks at me, right in front of him, and my skin bursts into flames all over again.

God .

Subtly has never been her strong suit.

Before this trip, I’d mentioned Colin and the article to my mum in passing, but seeing as he was about to stay in her house, I felt I should fill her in on the situation in its entirety. Somehow though, she must’ve picked up on my burgeoning feelings for him.

And I thought I was being so careful.

Colin takes it in his stride though as he steps forward and shakes her hand, showcasing his most charming smile. “All good things I hope?”

“Of course, and my Ellie bear never exaggerates.”

His eyes spark and I feel my skin prickle when he aims them down at me again. “No, she definitely doesn’t.”

My mum ushers us inside out of the cold, leading us through the small foyer and into the lounge off to our left. We take a seat on the sofa and after my mum scurries off to make some tea, Colin lets his eyes wander, taking in his surroundings.

“This is nice.” He speaks softly against my ear, causing a shiver to race down my spine. “Very homey.”

Under different circumstances and if I were three years younger maybe, I’d probably keel over with embarrassment. Even though this a fully detached house with four bedrooms and it cost my mum a fai r amount of money to buy back in the day, Colin’s family probably lives in a huge mansion that would make this place look like a council house by comparison. But in fact, ‘homey’ is the perfect word to describe it. My brother’s handmade Christmas decorations are littered everywhere and antique furniture fills every room. The smell of home-cooked meals lingers in the air and the sound of big band music plays softly in the background. The various knickknacks and interesting baubles that my mum has brought home from her trips all over the globe still sit on the mantelpiece above the fireplace. Family photos and her framed award-winning landscapes adorn the walls.

Wherever I look I see a memory.

I see home.

My mum returns with a tray of tea and biscuits and, because she’s hellbent on humiliating me into the next century, she immediately launches into asking Colin every personal question she can think of under the sun. Mortification bursts inside me, but when I look at him, he seems completely relaxed, listening and even talking animatedly with her.

Thank God.

Everything’s going reasonably well so far, but there’s still one thing missing though…

As if on cue I hear the soft pitter-patter of feet on the stairs right before my little brother breezes into the room, sporting the biggest, toothiest grin possible on his face.

“Ellie!”

My lips stretch with a massive smile as well and I quickly set my tea aside, lowering myself to the floor just in time to catch him .

“Oh my god, Luke. Look at you! You’ve gotten so big while I’ve been gone!” I pull back from our hug, brushing his messy chestnut hair off his forehead. It feels slightly damp and he’s dressed in his pyjamas already so he must’ve just had a bath.

“I know!” My little brother exclaims proudly, “Mum measured me the other day and I’m 4 feet and 10 inches already. Look!” He stands back so I can see and I must admit, he does look taller than I remember him being.

“Wow, that’s the same height I was when I was your age,” Colin says out of nowhere and Luke pauses, taking notice of him for the first time.

Most ten-year-olds would probably be shocked, nervous or even a little scared seeing a massive, broad-shouldered stranger in their home, but my little brother just stands there, his chocolate brown eyes widening like he’s been starstruck.

“Whoa, are you the rugby player?”

I’m about to remind Luke that you always call a guest by their name and not something like ‘the rugby player’, but Colin kneels beside me before I can, holding his hand out to my brother.

“I sure am. The name’s Colin.”

Luke shakes his hand vigorously. “I’m Luke. Do you want to come upstairs and see my rugby posters?”

Oh, dear lord.

I knew this was going to happen.

Again, Colin doesn’t miss a beat though. He grins with ease, getting to his feet. “Sure, I love rugby posters. Lead the way, mate.”

I roll my eyes and stand up as well my mum and I exchanging an amused, knowing look .

Those posters .

One of the first things Luke always wants to do whenever he meets someone new is show them the collection of rugby posters he has plastered all over his bedroom walls. Whether they’re rugby fans or not is entirely irrelevant to him. On the drive down here, I warned Colin that my brother tends to overwhelm people with his obsession and that it would probably be even worse for him because he actually plays the sport, but he just shrugged, not seeming to mind. To his credit, he doesn’t seem bothered as Luke clutches his hand and starts tugging him towards the stairs impatiently.

“I don’t think Colin has the slightest idea what he’s just gotten himself into.” My mother whispers, laughing softly.

I giggle as well, watching him amble after my brother, completely at his mercy. “Yeah, I don’t think so either.”

Colin glances back then and catches my eye, winking discreetly and I feel a tiny throb between my legs and a burst of heat swirling low in my stomach.

What was that?

“Come,” My mom beckons, holding her hand out to me, “Let the boys bond. I want to spend some time with my daughter. You can help me finish dinner.”

Smiling, I take her hand and follow her into the kitchen, the heavenly smell of the beef lasagna that’s already baking in the oven wafting around the room as we get to work making the garlic bread and salad to go with it. We fall into an easy rhythm, cooking together and talking. My mum mostly asks me how my classes are going and I ask about her photography business. She’s a freelance photographer and has been her whole life, often taking jobs for travel magazines or social events like weddings. She hasn’t been travelling out of the country that much lately , taking on more locally based jobs so she can be closer to Luke now that I’m not around to watch him. She does have a trip planned for Thailand in a couple of months though, which she’s really excited about. Just listening to her makes me feel more at ease. It’s the same effect being here has always had on me. Even on a bad day, coming home instantly made me feel better.

“So,” My mum says, rinsing off some rocket and adding it to the partially made salad already in the bowl, “Colin seems nice.”

Here we go.

I keep my expression neutral and finish slicing up the cucumber, adding it in as well. “He’s just a friend, mum.”

She hums in acknowledgement, nodding her head, but when I peek at her, her lips are curled to one side like she doesn’t believe me.

“Really,” I press, “He’s just a friend and he’s only here because I need to see what he does over the holidays so I can add it to that article I’m writing on him.”

That’s the excuse I gave her and it’s the one I’m sticking to. I’d never admit the real reason why he came.

“I didn’t say anything,” My mum grins, lifting her hands innocently, “But I’m not blind either, honey. I saw how you looked at each other when he was going upstairs.”

My eyes widen and I stare at her blankly and with disbelief.

I mean yes, I didn’t take my eyes off him when he left with Luke and I nearly melted when he winked at me, but…

“I just think you shouldn’t be so quick to label something, that’s all.” She adds.

“Oh really? Isn’t this the part where you’re supposed to tell me you have some kind of ‘bad feeling’ about him?” I joke .

My mum laughs heartily, adding more ingredients to the salad. “I’ll let you know if I do, but it might surprise you to hear that I actually like him.”

Well, that’s a first.

“That’s great, mum. I’m glad you like him, but really…Nothing’s going on between Colin and me. We’re just friends.”

“And that’s perfectly fine,” She comes up behind me, hugging me and placing a kiss on my cheek. “I’m just saying, I know you’ve had a hard time after what happened with Marco, but don’t be afraid to see where things could go with someone else, Ellie Bear. Keep yourself open to anything. You’ll never know what will happen if you don’t.”

Astonished, my lips part and whatever retort I try to say gets lost somewhere.

Seriously, who is this woman and where on earth is my mother? Because the Cathy Simpkins I know would be cautioning my head off about being careful around Colin, not pushing me to pursue him.

I was so certain that when I asked my mum if I could bring a friend home for Christmas and then mentioned that ‘friend’ was Colin, she would freak out, pull me aside and give me the same “be careful” lecture she gave me after she met Marco for the first time (especially since she turned out to be right about him). I certainly didn’t expect her to be all smitten with him instead.

Now, as I help her take the lasagna and freshly baked garlic bread out of the oven, I can’t help thinking that maybe she has a point. I needed time to process my break-up with Marco and, regardless of what he thinks, I’m not jealous of his relationship with Nicole. It hurts that he cheated on me, but I realise now how much happier I am wi thout him. I don’t want anything to do with him ever again if I can help it.

So why am I still bottling up my feelings for Colin?

What’s the real reason?

It is truly because I want to be professional or is it because I’m afraid?

Not of Colin per se, but of how he makes me feel.

Despite our agreement to just be friends, the fierce reminder of our last kiss hasn’t diminished one bit. This shouldn’t be complicated. It should be simple, but I see now that part of me, the part that panicked and decided I needed to keep him at arm's length, is completely and utterly terrified.

I’m terrified to take that step again.

I’m afraid that I’ll get hurt.

The same way my dad hurt my mum.

The same way, Marco hurt me.

Keep yourself open to anything.

You’ll never know what will happen if you don’t.

The words crash into my head over and over again and I can’t stop myself from wondering what would happen if I decided not to be afraid anymore.

If only it were that easy, but maybe it is.

My heart gallops wildly at the thought and I suddenly feel incredibly stuffy in the close confines of the kitchen.

“I’ll uh…go and tell the boys that suppers ready,” I say, whisking myself out of the room and upstairs before my mum can comment on my flustered tone.

By the time I reach Luke’s room, I’m positively buzzing with a mixture of nerves and excitement. The door is semi-open and I glance inside, spotting Luke and Colin immediately. They’re sitting on the edge of the bed, studying the vintage rugby ball w hich my brother dreams of covering with signatures from famous rugby players.

“I only have two at the moment,” He’s busy saying, “I got them last year when my mum took me to the World Cup semi-final match in France between England and South Africa.”

“Wow,” Colin whistles, “I’m jealous, bud. That must’ve been an incredible experience!”

“It was brilliant even though England lost. My mum and I sat right next to the sidelines so I got to see a lot of the players, but only Freddie Steward and Handre Pollard stopped to sign my ball. Hopefully, I’ll get more someday.”

“I’m sure you will, buddy.”

When Colin smiles down at my brother fondly, playfully ruffling his hair like it’s something he’s been doing for years, my knees instantly go weak.

How can such a simple action make my stomach summersault and my thighs want to press together?

I clear my throat softly, pushing the door open and catching their attention. “Supper’s ready guys.”

I glance at Colin again and I don’t miss the quirk on his lips or how his piercing eyes seem to darken when he notices the faint blush staining my cheeks.

“Okay, thanks El! Let’s go, Colin!” Luke bounces off his bed happily, placing his prized ball back on top of his chest of drawers before rushing past me downstairs, completely oblivious to the underlying tension coursing through the room.

I, on the other hand, am keenly aware of it.

“I hope he hasn’t been too overwhelming,” I say, eyeing all the rugby posters and paraphernalia strewn everywhere .

There appears to be even more of it than there was before I left. I’m surprised my brother has room left in here for anything else.

“It’s alright,” Colin says, standing as well. “I’m used to the attention. Besides I can tell Luke’s incredibly passionate about the game and that always makes it a bit more bearable. Actually, I was wondering if maybe,” He pauses, reaching up to rub the back of his neck nervously, “Well, I was thinking about having some training sessions with him while we’re here if that’s okay?”

“Y-you want to train him?” I stammer, “You’d do that? Really?”

Colin nods, smiling and walking towards me. “Sure, it’s no big deal. I have to do a little training while we’re here anyway and he’s been dropping hints all evening, so why not kill two birds with one stone?”

I smile as well, feeling my insides squeeze. “I think he’d love that.”

Knowing Luke, it’ll be one of the highlights of his life and he probably won’t shut up about it for months. Back when we were still together, Marco often promised that he would train Luke, but always came up with an excuse or a reason not to follow through with it.

Marco could be sweet, fun and even kind at times, especially when he was younger, but there was always a chance he would disappoint you somehow. I always had to remind him of the simplest things. Things he should’ve known. Things that he would’ve picked up on if he truly cared about me. Unless he wanted to specifically do something, I planned our dates. I was the one who supported him at every turn, whereas he only di d the same for me when he thought I deserved it.

I didn’t even have to ask Colin to do this, he offered it all on his own.

That’s the difference I realise.

Colin and Marco aren’t the same. They’re in separate leagues of their own with Marco’s one being vastly inferior.

Don’t be afraid to see where things could go.

I steady myself with a breath just as Colin reaches me, slipping my hand over his forearm and stopping him from walking any further.

“I just realised now that I never said thank you before.”

He studies me with a quizzical look. “For what exactly?”

“For doing all of this. For being here for me.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Ellie.”

“I know,” I swallow, wetting my dry lips and focusing on his mouth. “But what if I want to thank you?” I whisper under my breath.

His gaze blackens, bouncing between my eyes and where my hand is resting on his arm. His breathing shallows and I see his resolve whither. He moves to face me, coming closer and pressing me against the door frame. My fingers tangle in the material of his jumper, anchoring myself to him.

“Is that what you want, Ellie?” He murmurs, “To thank me?”

I nod confidently even when he steps closer and cages me in, resting one hand above my head while the other slides over my hip, squeezing gently. There’s barely any space between us now. It should feel suffocating, but I finally feel like I can breathe. Colin leans down, his mouth hovering above mine, sending a flurry of tingles across my skin .

“You won’t hear me object anytime soon, love.”

Oh my God.

My core clenches sharply at the sound of his voice. It’s soft, rough, a little husky as well, pouring over me as easily as slipping your head beneath the still surface of a pond. It betrays his desperation. His need. If I could speak, I’d probably sound the same as well. He moves, his lips latching onto the soft skin beneath my ear, his teeth scraping gently while his tongue peeks out, kissing and sucking purposefully. I moan quietly nearly crumbling to the floor in a boneless heap before his arm slips around my waist, keeping me upright.

“Colin…”

I arch my back and an audible gasp spills out of me when he lowers the hand above my head and slips it beneath my blouse, cupping my breast and brushing the pad of his thumb over my hardening nipple through the sheer material of my bra. A shock of pleasure jolts straight down to my pussy and I feel weightless in his arms, transfixed by him and at a total loss for words. My heart pounds and I can’t look away when he leans back slightly and our heated, glazed eyes clash again. All I have to do is propel myself forward just an inch and I’ll be kissing him again, only this time we won’t stop.

“Ellie, Colin!” Luke’s voice carries up the stairs with impeccable timing. “Where are you? Your food’s getting cold!”

The moment fizzles and fractures, dissolving as quickly as it started, but palpable tension still crackles in the air between us. Colin exhales, dropping his forehead against mine, slowly removing his hand from my body. I close my eyes, sucking in a shaky breath.

“We should go.” He whispers hoarsely .

I nod, not trusting myself to speak just yet.

Neither of us moves though. I don’t want to leave and, I’m not sure how, but I resist the desperate urge to throw caution to the wind and crush my mouth to his. His fingers press into my hipbone and I hold my breath when his gaze flicks down to my lips and his throat bobs. It seems he’s struggling just as much as I am and a deep, full-body shiver spreads up my spine at the possibility of him choosing to be reckless instead of sensible right now.

His grip on my waist tightens to steel and I search his eyes carefully, barely visible in the low light.

A second passes, then another.

“Colin, what’s –”

“– Fuck it!” He growls at the same time, cupping the back of my head and slamming his lips to mine.

The unexpected nature of the kiss and the force behind it knocks all the air out of my lungs and when he tugs himself into me, his solid weight pinning me to the door frame, my body reignites all over again.

I whimper softly and crowd closer, hiking a leg over his hip as he nibbles at my lower lip, pulling it between his teeth before claiming my mouth without mercy. An electric current pulses through me, spreading over my skin like a raging fire, and when his fingers deftly undo the button on my jeans, my breathing shallows.

“C-Colin.” I pant against his lips, clinging to him when his hand slides into my panties, finding my already slick folds and nudging my clit. My jaw falls open in a silent gasp and my whole body goes slack in his arms.

“Fuck!” Colin groans, his muscles trembling slightly as he somehow manages to keep me up. He drops his forehead to mine again, taking a mom ent to try and regulate his erratic breathing. “Jesus, you feel perfect Ellie, I –.”

But before he can get another word out, loud footsteps that could only belong to Luke, hit the bottom of the stairs, breaking us out of our haze.

We split apart quickly, barely managing to right ourselves before Luke appears in front of us.

“Come on guys, I’m starving!” He whines impatiently.

“Sorry buddy,” Colin says, his voice surprisingly steady despite what just happened. “We’re coming now. Your sister was just showing me something quickly.”

Luke glances between us briefly and shrugs, scampering back downstairs again.

Colin and I both breathe a sigh of relief and our roused eyes meet, a shared acknowledgement of what just happened passing between us.

I can’t believe we just did that.

With a quiet huff, he links our hands together, leading me downstairs, but a promise lingers in his eyes, telling me or perhaps warning me that this is far from over.

And it doesn’t scare me.

Not in the slightest.