Page 23

Ellie

A ny writer knows that inspiration can strike at any point and while I’ve had moments where words have just poured out of me, I’ve never had a streak of inspiration that’s lasted as long as this. I can pretty much pinpoint it to the moment when Colin and I decided to stop walking on eggshells around each other and finally got together. I wrote three whole chapters of my book while we were in Heathton, whereas before, I’d been struggling to write ten words a day much less whole sentences. Weeks later and it still hasn’t let up. I’m constantly thinking about my story, jotting down ideas in my notebook or daydreaming about scenarios when I should be paying attention in my lectures. It’s as if being in a relationship has magically uncorked this fountain of creativity inside me. It’s either that or being happy, happier than I’ve been in a very long time, has made all the difference.

Maybe it’s a bit of both.

Another thing I love, and didn’t think I would I might add, is how Colin has taken to watching me while I write. Although it can be distracting sometimes, especially since he always tries to convince me to let him read my book, but unfortunately for him I’m a firm believer in only allowing people to experience a story once it’s finished properly . Usually, my playful stubbornness on that point leads to him throwing me over his shoulder and carrying me off so he can have his wicked way with me. I ne ver complain when he does that. I probably shouldn’t have let him read that short story, but I was curious and I wanted to see what his reaction would be. I didn’t think he’d pester me about reading more of my work afterwards. It is fun to tease him with it though.

Smiling, my eyes flutter open to a sliver of light shining through a narrow gap in my curtains. I reach out, finding the other side of my bed cold and empty. I’m still not used to that. Most mornings I wake up cocooned in Colin’s warmth, but with the final against Bancroft less than two weeks away now, he’s had to get up ridiculously early every day so far this week to go for a run before heading off to practice. With a sigh I roll onto my back, my eyes spying a folded piece of paper on my bedside table. I grab it, reading the message inside.

Gone to practice,

Meet me at The Den afterwards.

I smirk.

He spends far too much time in that glorified man cave these days, but Mace insists that it helps them ‘bond’ or whatever. I don’t mind going there, especially since my boyfriend’s teammates love having me around (much to his annoyance). He also more than came through on his promise with the tea, restocking the entire pantry with every kind he could find.

My heart flutters and my skin warms just thinking about that, especially when I remember how I thanked him afterwards.

Throwing back the covers, I get out of bed and after showering and getting changed, I decide to use my free time to be productive and do some work on Colin’s article. So far, I’ve written two drafts for Professor Garrick and while she seems happy with the general direction I’m taking the piece, there’s always one or two edits she keeps asking me to make. I’ve barely started the third (and hopefully final) draft when Liv saunters into my bedroom still dressed in her pyjamas and looking like death warmed up even though it’s nearly ten o’clock on a Saturday.

“Morning sunshine,” I say, smiling broadly when all I get is a grunt in response, “Late night?”

“I swear I’m never, ever drinking again,” Liv grumbles, flopping face-first into my bed.

I chuckle, turning back to my laptop and continue typing. “Right, one of these days you’ll say that and actually mean it.”

“No, I’m being serious this time, El!” She whines, dramatically rolling onto her back, “It wasn’t even my idea to go out! My classmates from my performance group practically strong-armed me into going.”

Uh-huh.

Sure, they did.

“God, I can’t even remember most of what happened.” She adds, rubbing her temples and frowning like that will somehow help.

“Isn’t that pretty much on par for you?”

Liv sends a death glare my way. “Har har, very funny. You get a boyfriend and now you’re suddenly full of jokes.” I snicker under my breath when she sighs. “I’m trying to remember what we did. I think we went to some new club and then I think I…” She gasps suddenly and shoots upright, her eyes growing wide with panic, “Oh my god, I-I think I might’ve bumped into Bryce last night. ”

“Bryce?” I question, frowning as I spin around to face her, “Bryce Hunt? My boyfriend’s older brother? That Bryce?”

Liv barely manages a nod, her eyes blown wide with shock while her mouth opens and closes like a fish trying to breathe outside of water.

The following morning after that New Year's Eve party we all went to, a very hungover Liv announced to Natalie and me that Bryce Hunt was ‘an arrogant prick’ and that she’d have to be paid an obscene amount of money to go anywhere near him ever again. Nat and I both think something happened between them given that there was a point when Colin and I couldn’t find either of them, but Liv refuses to talk about it. She just becomes evasive and immediately changes the subject.

Clearly, her plan of staying away from him didn’t go the way she hoped it would.

“Did something happen between you two?” I ask.

“Um…Well, I think we…” She swallows thickly, her eyes quickly shooting left and right, “I don’t know. Maybe.”

My lips twitch with the beginnings of an amused smile. “Maybe?”

“Yes, maybe!” Liv snaps, groaning and burying her face into her hands, “Oh my god, this is a disaster!”

Grinning properly now, I stand and join her on the bed, wrapping a comforting arm around her. “It’s hardly a disaster babe. I actually think the two of you would make a cute couple.”

I mean, they both look like winners of a genetic lottery and they seemed to be having a lot of fun together at one point before everything went sideways. I’m not sure what happened to make her hate him so much, but it can’t be that bad right ?

Liv lifts her head, her expression one of pure disgust. “Be serious, El. Yes, the man is fit as fuck, but you know I don’t date boys who play sport, especially arrogant, smart-mouthed rugby players who think they can do and say whatever they want and get away with it. I wouldn’t sleep with one even if he was the last person on Earth and we had to repopulate!”

“Well, clearly that’s not true.”

The unimpressed side-eye Liv gives me is award-worthy.

“We didn’t sleep together…” She pauses, her brow crinkling like she’s not sure, “I think.”

“Wow, that sounded very convincing.” I tease.

She flips me off and I laugh, climbing off the bed. “Come on, let’s go downstairs and I’ll make you a nice ‘walk of shame’ breakfast.”

“Seriously!” She grumbles, crossing her arms over her chest and full-on sulking now. “This isn’t funny, El. It’s a travesty.”

Well, I think it’s pretty funny and she would too if she wasn’t the victim. I’m still snickering quietly to myself when my phone starts ringing on my desk. I grab it, my laughter dying and my eyebrows pulling together when I see Mace’s name lighting up the screen.

That’s odd.

I’ve hung out with Colin, his best friends and his teammates at least a dozen times now either at The Den or somewhere like The Arms. I’d even go as far as to say that I’m starting to become friends with some of them, but none of them have ever called me before. I check the time, seeing that their practice isn’t supposed to end for another hour.

So why is he calling me ?

My stomach tightens, an ominous cloud of dread descending over me as I swipe over the answer button.

“Hello?”

“Hey El,” Exhaustion and wariness weigh down Mace’s voice and it immediately gives me pause. Something’s wrong . “Listen, I don’t want you to freak out okay, but something’s happened…”

The only words I manage to register after that are; ‘Colin’, ‘Attacked’ and ‘Hospital’ before my entire world tilts dangerously on its axis and the phone slips from my hand, cluttering to the floor loudly.

I can’t breathe.

I can’t move.

“El, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Liv appears in front of me, concern morphing her features, “Who was that? What happened?”

I don’t answer her.

I physically can’t bring myself to speak, my brain and body still stuck in a state of complete and utter shock. This can’t be happening. It…It just can’t. I must be dreaming. I’ve stumbled into a nightmare somehow. Frozen in place, I watch as she picks my phone up and starts speaking to Mace, but I can’t hear what she says. I’m barely aware of what’s going on even after she ends the call and I feel her hands on my shoulders, trying to snap me out of my stupor and focus my attention.

“Listen, just give me five minutes to get changed and then we’ll go to the hospital. Don’t move, okay?”

Hospital.

Something sharp hits me square in the chest hearing that word again .

My boyfriend is in the hospital because someone attacked him while he was on his run this morning .

While I was writing and daydreaming about how wonderful everything has been lately, someone was – I shut my eyes, tears immediately blurring my vision. Panic. Fear. Worry. I feel all of them slither up my spine like a cold, dead hand gripping my throat and squeezing like a vice.

I need to see him. Now.

I don’t remember much of what happens next, it all seems so trivial compared to the horror of my current reality, but the second Liv and I arrive outside Craigavon General, I throw open my door and immediately sprint towards the entrance even though I have no clue where he is or where to even start looking for him. Thankfully, I spot Mace pacing outside the emergency entrance, waiting for us. I head straight for him, his face visibly relaxing when he sees me coming.

“Where is he?” I ask breathlessly.

Is he okay?

God, I hope he is.

“He’s resting, but he’s fine, El. A bit beaten up, but he’s okay, I promise.” Mace’s soft, but reassuring smile should calm me down, but I won’t be able to relax. Not until I see him myself and know for certain that he’s all right.

“Can I see him?”

Mace nods, but his lips thin grimly. “I’ll take you, but you’ll have to be quick. His dad will be back soon.”

I nod as well.

I don’t care if it’s only for a few minutes, as long as I get to see him.

Mace loops an arm over my shoulders, hugging me to his side and leading me through the hospital. We pass through a waiting room where I not ice nearly all of Colin’s teammates are gathered. My eyes meet with Kai’s briefly and he offers me a gentle, sympathetic look, but his posture is tense. Distressed. I try to smile back, but I don’t think it helps. He’s completely shaken, just like me.

When Mace and I finally reach Colin’s room I break away from him and approach the open door alone. As soon as I see him my stomach bottoms out and my chest caves in on itself, the blood in my veins turning as frigid as ice. Slowly, I step inside the room, fat tears rolling down my cheeks as my gaze settles on my boyfriend. He’s lying perfectly still on the hospital bed in front of me with his eyes closed and his head turned slightly to one side. The only indication that he’s alive is the gentle rise and fall of his chest. I study his face carefully, my heart constricting painfully when I see deep, purple bruises marring his right eye, cheek and the ribs on the left side of his body. His bottom lip is swollen from the trauma and badly cut near the corner of his mouth. My gaze drifts further down and that’s when I notice that his one leg, his right one specifically, is heavily bandaged around the knee and elevated on two pillows.

My breath hitches.

No.

Oh my god…No.

I cover my mouth with my hand, crying silently as cold anguish swirls around in my gut and a chilling thought slowly takes root in my mind.

This attack wasn’t random. It couldn’t have been. Not in a town like Craigavon. Even if this was a robbery, why would they injure his knee? Why would they injure his right one specifically ?

Whoever did this to Colin wanted to hurt him and they knew exactly how to do it.

They knew that he would be alone.

That he would be vulnerable; an easy target.

And right now, there’s only one person I can think of who would be insane enough to do something like this.

“Simpkins?”

My current train of thought disappears as soon as I hear his soft, gravelly voice. My gaze snaps up, relief filling ever empty crevasse inside me when I see Colin’s crooked smile and his bright blue eyes staring back at me. I stay where I am, seconds passing, and I watch them soften the longer they stare at me, undoubtedly taking in my reddened cheeks and tear-rimmed eyes. Slowly, he holds out a hand.

“Come here, love.”

A soft cry leaves me and I waste no time closing the distance between us, settling down beside him on the bed and carefully tucking myself into his good side when he shifts over slightly, giving me room. His arms snake around my waist, holding me close, and I nestle my head on his chest, breathing him in.

He’s talking. He’s moving. He’s breathing.

He’s okay.

My body shakes with silent sobs as fresh tears soak into his skin and I feel his lips touch my hair, kissing me gently. I’m not sure how long we stay like that. All that really matters to me is that he’s awake now.

“Are you okay?” I whisper hoarsely.

“I’m fine. A little sore,” He murmurs, shifting slightly to get comfortable, “But it’s nothing that won’t heal with time.”

“What about your knee? ”

Reluctantly I glance down at it again, another harsh pang of guilt hitting me where it’s already painful. I close my eyes, unable to look at it.

“It’s not broken or anything, thank God. Just badly bruised and mildly sprained. I’ll need to rest it for a week and do some PT before the final, but I should still be able to play.”

“Should.” I echo the word, my voice cracking slightly, “S-so there’s a chance you might not?”

“I didn’t say that,” He counters, “In all likelihood, I will play.”

But he’s not sure.

He might not play because of me.

Colin slips a finger under my chin, tilting my face up to his. “Don’t do this, Simpkins.”

“Do what?”

His sombre, yet steady eyes bounce between mine and somehow, he’s able to read the chaotic thoughts that are spiralling through my mind right now.

“None of this was your fault, Ellie.”

“Wasn’t it though?” I argue, “It was him, Colin. We both know it was Marco who attacked you. Think about it. Why would someone hurt your right knee specifically? The leg you happen to kick with? Who else would hurt you like that ? ”

Colin sits motionlessly for a moment, frowning.

He doesn’t want to admit it, but he knows I’m right. Marco did this, because he was jealous or angry or because he was feeling insecure about the final or whatever. I honestly don’t give a fuck about what drove him to assault someone. What scares me is that he actually went through with his threat when everyone was so certain he wouldn’t.

How far would he have gone ?

How far will he still go?

“Okay, even if it was Marco, there has to be another reason why he attacked me.” Colin insists, “We’ve been rivals since the day we met, Ellie. He’s been threatening me for years, but he’s never done anything before. If this was him, maybe he wanted to get me out of the picture so the attention would be focused on him.”

My brow crinkles with uncertainty and I sit up, reluctantly pulling out of Colin’s arms.

It’s possible that Marco did do this because of their rivalry. Maybe he was hoping that with Colin out of the match, he would be the first pick for any of the professional clubs who would be watching, but I fear it’s more insidious than that. I can’t look passed the venom I heard in his voice when he threatened me or how angry he looked that night outside the stadium when he saw me wearing an Admiral's jersey with Colin’s number on it.

No

If Marco wanted to hurt Colin because of something rugby-related, he would’ve done it ages ago.

This had to have been motivated by the two of us being together. I’m sure of it. Their rivalry may have started the fire, but my relationship with Colin was the gasoline that caused the flames to flare up. If I wasn’t here. If Colin and I weren’t together then none of this would’ve happened and his future wouldn’t be in jeopardy right now. My lips twist like I taste something bitter, remembering what Graeme said to me and the promise I made to do the right thing. Even if it was the last thing I wanted to do.

I force myself to swallow, cracks already splintering over my heart .

“You know, I don’t think I could ever live with myself if something really bad ever happened to you because of me,” I admit, my voice barely above a whisper now.

“Simpkins…” Colin reaches for me again, his finger just grazing over my back before I stand, slipping out of his grasp entirely.

“I can’t be the reason why your career might be derailed.”

I can’t…I won’t.

“You won’t be!” Colin insists, his tone earnest. I hear him hiss as he sits upright on the bed. “He’s taken his shot at me, Ellie. He’s not going to take another one without getting into serious trouble next time. Listen to me, alright.”

But I shake my head, unshed tears hanging in my eyes. “You can’t be sure of that.”

Clearly, Marco can’t be underestimated. We’ve already made the mistake of thinking we know him, but he’s unpredictable and from where I’m standing, being with Colin will only exacerbate things with him further. We can’t know for certain if he’ll stop now or if this was just the first of many attacks to come.

What if he breaks Colin's knee next time?

I can’t handle the thought of that happening, especially because of me.

“Ellie…” Colin pleads, his voice turning vulnerable and desperate now, “Please don’t do this. We’ll figure something out, okay?”

More water gathers in my tear ducts. I wish I could ignore how I feel and cast these horrible thoughts out of my head. I want nothing more than to turn around and run back to his warmth and safety and stay there forever, but I can’t bring myself to do it knowing it’ll only cause more pain and heartache. For both of us.

“I need some time,” I tell him, my voice thick with emotion as I struggle to get the words out, “I promise I’ll call you when I’m ready to talk, okay?”

“Ellie, wait–”

The tears start falling and they don’t stop, not when I hear him shout my name and struggle helplessly to get out of the bed so he can follow me. I leave his room, racing passed Mace, Liv and Kai, and bolting out of the hospital before any of them can think to try to stop me.

I don’t stop running. I don’t look back, even as anguish and an unrelenting numbness overtakes my senses, trampling my insides and slowly drowning me.

By the time I make it home and lock myself in my room, that’s all I can feel.

Because I didn’t just leave Colin in that hospital room.

I left my heart in there as well.