Page 9 of Third Time is the Charm (Passion and Perseverance #3)

The calmness and honesty with which the words came out surprised her. It was true – whether it was right or wrong was a whole different issue. Being with Colin made her feel like her life was approaching some sort of normalcy.

How normal it was to be dating quasi-celebrity was beside the point.

“Ok…” Jane replied with resignation. “I trust you. I just don’t want to see you hurt more.”

“I know…” Beth sighed, her next admission forcing itself over the lump in her throat to be heard. “I know it seems wrong, Jane, but I hold onto this pride because these days it’s all I have.”

“I just wish there was something I could do to help you, that’s all.” When she hurt, Jane hurt for her. Another reason why she hesitated to tell Jane what had happened. “Can I ask you something?”

It depends…

“Of course.”

“Is it Patrick?”

Beth felt the cool breeze of relief blow over her. “That I’m bringing? No; it’s his twin brother, Colin, who I’ve been working a lot with up here since I moved. Why did you think it was Pat?”

“Well, Lydia called me this morning and asked me if there was something between the two of you.”

“What? Why would she think that?” Beth asked in shock. She hadn’t talked to her younger sister since before she’d left New York.

“She saw a photo online of the two of you at dinner.”

Oh God, no.

The photos that the paparazzi took last night were already surfacing.

“That’s not quite right. The photo didn’t say who he was having dinner with, but of course, Lydia recognized you, but she must have mistaken Colin for Patrick.

” Beth felt her heart start beating again with that piece of information.

Although, it was only a matter of time before they found out her name and her very private escape would turn into very public entertainment.

Beth groaned into the phone. “Well, they are twins so I’m sure it was easy to confuse them in a photo. I didn’t even realize that they would be there… And, Col assured me that they probably wouldn’t even use the photos; I guess he was wrong…” And she needed to talk to him.

“I just wanted to mention it – obviously, I didn’t tell Lydia anything, well, mostly because I didn’t know anything at that point.

I know you don’t really keep tabs on the tabloids, but I thought you should know if you want to be more careful.

At some point, they might become public knowledge and I know you’re trying to stay under-the-radar up there.

I’m not sure how long that’s going to be feasible if you’re going to start dating a movie star. ”

“Ugh, I know. We’ll just have to be more careful – no more crazy fancy places. I don’t want this to get out there – whatever ‘this’ is; I don’t want anyone to know.” And by anyone, she meant one specific person. And Jane knew it.

“Have you talked to him?” Jane asked hesitantly. She didn’t need to say his name or elaborate on who she meant. There was only one him.

“No.”

And she’d done everything to prevent it from happening, too – a new phone, a new number, blocking every number that she knew of his, and ultimately, never answering her phone for an unknown number.

“Do you think it might help? Just… I mean… because he will be at the wedding,” Jane forged on nervously. “You’ll have to walk with him down the aisle.”

Beth steadied herself on the counter as a wave of nausea rolled through her at the reminder.

“I know,” she replied hoarsely, drinking the last sip of her tea to try and soothe her suddenly parched throat.

“It won’t help. You know him just as well as I, Jane; if Darcy couldn’t bring himself to show any emotion before, I doubt now, after he’s decidedly moved on from me, would be the time for him to start. ”

It was the first time she’d said his name in months.

Sure, he had roamed freely around her mind during that time, interjecting himself into whatever thought or situation he felt like.

But, she’d refused to bring him to light, to bring him into her physical world – until now.

Maybe this was a step in the right direction, being able to say his name without another piece of her heart dying inside.

“Are you sure he’s moved on?” Jane asked, softly.

Well, he slept with your soon-to-be sister-in-law the night we broke up. So, yes, I think that means he’s moved on. The pain of that morning when she realized burned through her.

“Jane, I know that I’ve told you how Darcy likes to say one thing and do another, how he insists on changing his mind and expects me to just realize it on my own.

But, if there was one thing that I was ever completely sure about, it’s that he’s unequivocally and indisputably moved on from me,” Beth answered firmly, frustration blooming into her tone as she caught sight of the flowers that Colin had brought her – another painful memory of Darcy assaulting her.

“I know I’m better off all alone than needing a man who could change his mind at any given minute, which is why I’ve been alone for months now.

But, it’s not enough to rid myself of him.

I know you are concerned that I’m moving away from the situation too quickly, but if I don’t, I’m afraid I’ll stay stuck where I am, tormented by thoughts and memories of the man that I love and how he completely shattered my life. ”

End rant.

Beth dragged in a breath, winded from the words and emotions that had just been released. Along with the oxygen came the twinge of remorse for letting herself become so irritated with Jane when her sister was only trying to look out for her.

“I’m sorry, Beth. I don’t mean to push you, but I just want to make sure you know what you are doing, because to me it seems like you are running, and not from Darcy, but from yourself and the feelings you don’t want to admit to having.

” Beth knew she’d gone too far because Jane’s voice was now heightened with aggravation; she didn’t know the last time she and Jane had argued.

“You’re right, Beth, I don’t know what happened because you won’t tell me.

But I don’t see how, without talking to him, that you can know with absolute certainty that he has moved on.

I don’t know him that well and I won’t pretend that I’ve pressed Charles about it, but I’ve seen him since you left.

He doesn’t look like a man who’s moved on – no mask can hide that.

And he isn’t bringing a date to my wedding.

So again, from my limited knowledge, I think you are only making the situation worse for yourself, believing things that may or may not be true.

” Jane cut off here and Beth heard some commotion in the background.

“I have to go, mom just got here. I love you.”

Click.

Beth set the phone down numbly on the counter, a million thoughts fighting for the stage in her mind.

Why didn’t he have a date? No, that wasn’t the question…

Why wasn’t he taking Caroline? They were both obviously going to the wedding, maybe they are trying to keep their relationship under wraps, too.

Beth sat down numbly on the couch, her brain unable to even imagine the two of them together, it was too painful.

What did Jane mean? Why would she say he doesn’t look like a man who’s moved on? He never looks like anything except pompous and proud.

Could Jane be right? Was she sure that Darcy had moved on?

No, there was no way he couldn’t have. She’d seen Caroline in his apartment with her own eyes – he’d moved on. Now, whether things had worked out with Caroline, Darcy full-well knowing that she was using him, was a whole different story.

That’s what had hurt the most; knowing that he didn’t care about Caroline, knowing that he knew she was using him even if he hadn’t bothered to hear the specifics, and knowing that he’d still gone back to her.

There was only one motive he could have had for doing that, and it was to hurt her, to spite her for having spied on him.

Couldn’t he see that she’d already hurt enough just knowing that he’d found out about that?

Beth tried to calm herself; these were the thoughts that could efficiently and expeditiously drag her back down to where she’d been months ago.

That’s why she had to remain unwavering in the face of Jane’s words and opinions; she couldn’t let them affect her perception of the situation – that would be dangerous; that would mean hope and hope, with Darcy, inevitably meant hurt.

There was one tear that managed to escape her eyes. It was a tear born from the deepest recesses of her heart, from the fear buried down deep inside there – and it had nothing to do with anything that Jane had said.

She’d admitted to being tormented by Darcy, and the ghost of him in her mind. But, that’s not what she said. No, she admitted that he’d shattered her life, but the ‘he’ that she referred to was the man she loves.

Not loved. Loves. Present tense. ‘Shattered her life’ – past tense. ‘The man she loves’ – present tense.

That was a problem.

It was just a slip of the tongue, that’s all; that’s all she needed to keep telling herself. Opening back up her message to Col, she texted him again.

~ We’re all good. I just had to make sure it was ok with Jane, since I originally RSVP’d just by myself.

Grabbing her laundry basket, she opened the closet next to the kitchen to reveal her washer and dryer. Her phone buzzed on the counter with Colin’s response as she tried to shove two week’s worth of laundry into the tiny washer.

- I mean, I don’t have to eat anything if it’s a problem. And I won’t need a seat because I’ll be tearing up the dance floor.

Beth laughed. This was what she loved about Col – his effortless humor and the way it helped her forget her troubles. She just hoped that what she loved about him, would at some point translate into love for him…

~ Well, I hope the paparazzi are there to catch photos of that, that’s all I’m going to say.

- Harsh. I am really sorry about that, though.

Closing the lid to the washing machine, she turned the ‘Pause’ off and the machine began to rumble. Biting her lip, the thought about whether or not she wanted to text him back about the photos – that they had been posted.

No – she wasn’t going to start this with how she would react with Darcy. She would hesitate to tell him out of concern that he’d be upset, out of concern for what he would do. Col was nothing like him and she couldn’t treat him as though he were.

~ They posted those photos of us from last night. Not with my name, but my sister in Chicago saw them and recognized me.

Followed by…

~ I’m not upset. I just want you to know.

- SHIT, Beth. I’m so sorry. I’ll have my people look into it and try to get them taken down. This won’t happen again. No one is going to know that I’m coming to New York with you.

- I’m going to tell everyone that I’ll be in Philly scoping out the city for a new Contest race.

~ It’s really ok, Col. Whatever you want to do. I can’t hide forever. I’m going for a run – see you Monday!

- I’ll handle it, don’t worry. You’ll be seeing me and coffee.

Beth set her phone down for good, pulling out a pair of running pants and a T.

Her mind was fighting her every step of the way – remembering Darcy, thinking about seeing him, wondering about everything that Jane had suggested.

She needed to run, if only she could run away from her thoughts.

Throwing her hair up in a messy ponytail, she glanced into the bathroom at the vanity mirror one last time.

God, screw you, Darcy. Beth pressed her hands against her eyes, willing them to not water. She headed blindly for the door; this was why she only had that one small mirror, and this was why she rarely ever looked in it.

All she saw was the permanent damage he did to her and even though she kept saying ‘never again’, she just really wished she could forget all the times it was magic.