Page 41 of Third Time is the Charm (Passion and Perseverance #3)

“I came over to talk to you that morning, to try to fix things, in spite of how I felt and how much what you said had hurt me; I knew that once I told you what had really happened you would understand,” she admitted.

“But when I saw Caro there, all of the doubts that I had over what you said became real. All of the doubts that I had about myself, that Jane had convinced me weren’t the truth, exploded inside of me and consumed me. ”

“I didn’t know,” he said softly. “I would have come sooner if I had.” He paused, swirling the last sip of wine in his glass, thinking deeply for a moment before admitting.

“I know how hard you tried with me… to fix me. I couldn’t see it, or maybe didn’t want to see it, at the time.

But after you were gone, I hated myself for what I put you through and I deserve every fucking tear I cried for hurting you.

Because the truth is, I would have left me, too.

I wasn’t who you needed me to be; I wasn’t who I wanted to be. ”

“And is that who you are now?” she murmured, setting her empty glass down hesitantly as though it were the last protective barrier standing between them.

“It’s certainly who I’m fucking trying to be, but I’m not really the one who can answer that question, only you can.” He drank the last bit of wine from his glass. “At least, you’re the only one whose answer matters.”

“What do you want from me?” she whispered, watching as he picked up her glass and put both of theirs into the sink, then picking up the multiple, opened cartons and tossing them in the garbage. His forehead was furrowed, his jaw flexing as he searched for the right words to say.

He walked around the countertop, stopping in front of her, a breath away from her body. She could feel the electric heat sparking in the air around them; even though she knew it had the power to decimate her, there was a comfort in the familiarly potent charge that arced between them.

Ever so slowly, she watched as his eyes fell from hers down to her hand resting in her lap as his moved to take it.

Tenderly, he brought her fingers up to his mouth, placing a sweet yet seductive open-mouthed kiss onto her palm before intertwining her hand with his.

She expected him to kiss her, to take her, and to not meet any resistance on her end.

Instead, he kissed her hand and gently pulled away from her, taking her – leading her into her tiny living room to sit on the loveseat.

Who was this Darcy, so similar yet so different? Was he finally what she needed?

“I just want you,” he rasped, his brown eyes deepening with a need that went beyond the lust that burned through his body. She stared at him for a moment, her senses overwhelmed, not remembering what she had asked. “I don’t want anything from you, Beth,” he clarified. “ I just fucking want you. ”

“And what does that even mean now? We just go back to the way things were between us? I don’t know if I can do that again.

I know you say that you’ve changed, but I’m scared to believe it; I’m scared because of how much I want to believe it.

” She bit her lip, blinking rapidly as she felt her emotions rising to the point of bubbling over with tears.

“No,” he interjected quickly and firmly. “No, not like before. I can’t fucking bear the thought of losing you again and that means I can’t fucking be the intolerable asshole that I was before; I don’t think I’m that asshole that I was before and I just want a chance to prove it to you.”

Beth swallowed over the lump in her throat, his words making her heart race and butterflies of hope bloom in her stomach. Could this be real? Or was she just going to wake up in a few weeks and realize that it had been a nightmare?

“I know that my words, my assurances, don’t mean much – how could they when at the slightest test, I threw everything you believed about me back in your face.” He sighed, roughly running his hand through his hair. “I can’t ask you to believe my words, I’m asking you to take a chance on my actions.”

And she was only lying to herself if she thought she could deny him – deny them – that chance.

“I can’t promise that I’ll be able to keep my hands off of you,” he continued, his eyes burning into hers as they both pictured just what those hands could do.

“No, actually, I promise you that I won’t keep these hands from touching every fucking sweet and soft inch of you.

I promise you that I will pleasure you, I will fuck you, I will love you until your body craves me more than it craves air. ”

Her teeth clamped down on her lower lip as her thighs cinched closer together. The seriously seductive promise already putting her body on edge, aching for him to fulfill it. Instead, he forged on while Beth sat there as moisture pooled thickly between her thighs.

“But more than that, I promise that I will be open with you – whatever you ask, whatever you need, I will do it and not because I don’t have a choice, but because you deserve so much more than I’ve given you.”

Her heart felt like it was going to explode and yet her head was throwing up red flags left and right; warning signs that this road was not safe for travel.

Honesty deserves honesty.

“I’m scared,” she admitted, tears falling down her cheeks.

“I’m sorry that I left before thinking or giving you the chance to explain about Caroline.

I’m sorry that I was weak. I couldn’t think about anything; all I knew was that it felt like my heart had stopped and if I didn’t get away from everything, it might never start again.

I left then because I was hurt and scared.

Now, I’m just scared that I’m not what you need.

” The ache in her chest was just as prominent as the one between her thighs.

She wanted to say more but she couldn’t find the words; she didn’t know how to tell him everything that she felt even though she felt the words burning in the back of her throat.

Darcy sighed; his gaze breaking from hers just as she saw her pain and fear mirrored in them.

“Can I ask you something?” He looked back to her, watching the slightly perplexed expression cross her face.

What more could he ask of her? She wondered. Her head jerked with a swift nod knowing that she needed to find out whatever it was.

“Why did you leave again after the wedding?” he asked, the hurt from his eyes radiating out through his voice.

Beth grimaced at the question and the change in the direction of the conversation; the part of her that wondered how to answer him was far too slow compared to her heart that spoke the truth it had been holding on to.

“Because I don’t know how not to…”

His brow furrowed, “I don’t understand.”

“I left because I don’t know how not to think about you, Darcy,” she answered with a sigh, the words caged inside of her finally being set free.

“Especially when it’s late at night and I’m crying – which is not infrequent since I moved here; I don’t know how to not think about you.

I thought that I should have been the one who is strong and just moves on no matter what you do or say, and that is what I fully intended to do at Jane’s wedding, but instead, I fell right back into your arms – just like I’ve wanted to do every night before…

and every night since.” With every admission, her voice raised in irritation with herself.

“And every morning for the past five months, I wake up trying to ignore how much I hate myself for the way that I can’t help but still want you; I just don’t know how not to. ”

“ So then don’t, ” he whispered back, his unrelenting stare boring straight into her heart, begging it to give in to him one more time.

“I don’t know if I can,” she choked out. “How many times have we tried this? Our personalities don’t know how to work together; we’re too independent and there are too many secrets between us. How many times are we going to try this?”

“One time. This time. This time I’m going to fucking get it right,” he swore.

“How? Are we just going to get lucky?” she asked, her voice breathless with disbelief. “What is this ‘third time is the charm’ thinking? I don’t think luck can save us.”

“I don’t need luck; all I need is one chance to show you I can deserve your love.” Darcy’s eyes sparked with the emotion behind his words; the weight of his request falling between them stifling out whatever remained of her concerns.

Beth just stared silently at him, a war raging inside of her between her heart and her mind.

Except, it wasn’t a war; it was a hostile take-over… that wasn’t really that hostile.

Darcy continued before she had a chance to waive the white flag – and fall back into his arms. “Beth, I understand,” he began solemnly.

“I completely understand why part of you wants this to be over. And if you tell me to, I will go through the motions of walking away. I can leave you alone and send the rest of your things that are still sitting in my closet back to you; I can try to find plenty of shit to fill my day. But, I don’t know how to not think about you either.

” He paused, his hand coming up to cover his mouth for a second before he spoke again.

“I’m not the same person I was when you left.

I could give you reasons, I could give you proof, but I don’t want to just tell you.

Please give me the chance to show you, gorgeous; give me the chance to love you. ”

She swallowed hard, her eyes dropping to stare at the hard planes of his chest. She watched her hand, as though it wasn’t her own, reach up to place her palm over his heart feeling the firm muscle beneath her fingers twitch at her touch; she felt the white-hot heat start to spread through her fingers, into her hand, up her arm, and into the rest of her body; it was always like this.

“And if I want you to show me everything? No more secrets,” she whispered, her eyes finally moving up to meet his intense stare that now burned with his need for her, ignited by her touch.

“I will show you anything you want, gorgeous. Any. Fucking. Thing ,” he rasped. “Just tell me where you want me to start.”

There was silence for a second, but that second was in slow motion, their love that they’d tried to deny for each other heightening their desire; their need replaced all of the oxygen in the air so that with every breath, all that fueled their bodies was passion.

There was a time for words and then there were times when no words would do.

There were so many uncertainties, so many doubts floating around, the only thing that she knew for certain was how much she missed being with him – the physical connection to him was her one stable life-line; it was the one thing she could count on not to change.

It was the one thing that hadn’t changed and it was the one thing that had been missing these past few months, making her feel like she was living in some sort of alternate reality where she was only half present.

She wanted him – she didn’t know how not to. And, God help her, she’d tried.

“For now, just show me how much you want me,” she demanded, her hand curling into his shirt, pulling him towards her.

“I don’t know if that’s even possible, gorgeous, but I’ll be more than happy to try,” he replied as his body moved flush with hers, seconds before his hands were around her waist and his lips descended onto hers.

She met his kiss as though there’d never been any doubt in her mind that this is where she belonged.

Who was she kidding – from the second she’d opened her door, she knew that she would be his again, that she would give them another chance; she didn’t know how not to.