Page 11 of Third Time is the Charm (Passion and Perseverance #3)

How was she ever going to make it through the weekend? She couldn’t even remember being with Darcy without feeling overwhelmed. What was going to happen when she ACTUALLY had to be around him?

“Here you go… Beth! Seriously, what’s wrong?” Jane exclaimed, re-entering the room much quicker than Beth was expecting.

Only when she felt Jane’s arm around her shoulders did she realize that she was shaking with sadness. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m ok. There are just a lot of memories here, a lot of things that I’ve buried and avoided in Boston that I’m now having to face; it’s a lot.”

“Alright, well why don’t you just talk to me about it? I know you’ve been trying to be strong on your own and all, but it’s not working, Beth. You have to talk to me – even if you don’t want my help or my opinion; you have to open up about something,” Jane pleaded.

Beth nodded, swallowing over the lump in her throat.

“I’m going to order our usual for dinner and have it delivered.

Then, I’m going to pour us both a glass of wine, which I thankfully have a whole cupboard full since mom insisted that we try each one to be served at the reception.

By that point, I expect you to be on the couch and prepared to talk to me. ”

Beth nodded again. “Thank you,” she said quietly as Jane released her to go back out into the kitchen to order their dinner.

Where would she even begin?

Honestly, the only thing she wanted to talk to Jane about was where their conversation had been cut off at the other day; she wanted to know more about how he had been in these four months.

Beth stood and looked around her old room absent-mindedly, feeling like she was missing something, but knowing there was nothing there for her to find. When she heard the wine pouring into their glasses, Beth tossed her phone onto the bed and padded out into the living room.

“I’m sorry, Jane. I didn’t want to dump all of this on you again,” Beth began, crossing her legs underneath her as she watched her sister recork the wine and pick up the two generously filled glasses.

Jane rolled her eyes, “Just talk to me, B.”

“Where do I start?”

“Well, maybe with what happened that morning?” Jane suggested, passing Beth her glass.

Beth took a sip, needing that moment before she let those words pass through her mouth; it still wasn’t enough. Instead, she started with, “Do you know anything? Did he say anything to Charles and then Charles to you?”

Jane sighed, looking into her wine glass.

“No, not really. We actually fought about it. I think it was our first fight, although I’m sure it’s not what you would consider a fight, but for us it was.

” She laughed a little here before explaining.

“Of course, I was a mess after you left, especially not knowing what had happened; you’d always come to me before…

” Shit. “But, anyway… so, Charles could see how upset that I was and so I asked him if he’d talked to Darcy or if he knew what was going on.

He told me that he’d talked to him; that Darcy had confided in him about a lot of things, was upset about a lot of things.

I could tell that he was holding back something, and so I kept asking about it, but he couldn’t – or wouldn’t, tell me anything else; he just kept saying that their discussion really wasn’t about you.

” Jane paused to take a sip of her wine.

“I know there is more to it, but he couldn’t tell me and he, honestly, looked shocked to hear that you had left, but that’s all I know. ”

Beth nodded, sure that Darcy had talked to him about Caroline – how could he not?

Ignoring the burning sensation from her chest, she recited the words, the description of events that had happened that day, that she’d carefully boiled the trauma down to.

“I went over to talk to him, to apologize. And when I got there, Caroline was there so, I left. He’d clearly moved on already. ”

Beth watched her sister’s eyes widen and her mouth fall open in complete befuddlement.

“I don’t understand,” she whispered.

“You and me both.”

“What if she was just there to talk to him? What did Darcy say to you?”

“She was naked.” Jane’s hand raised to cover her mouth.

“And, he didn’t say anything to me because I didn’t see him; as soon as I saw her, I turned and ran.

What could he possibly have to say with words, that wasn’t better conveyed with the image of Caroline, naked, in his apartment?

” Beth asked rhetorically, acid etching into her tone.

She took a long sip of wine to wash the acrid taste of the words from her mouth.

“Oh my God, Beth. Oh my God…” Jane trailed off, still in shock.

“I just can’t understand it; I mean I know he wasn’t the greatest boyfriend to you, but even for him that seems far too low, especially after everything that you learned about Caroline and her motives for wanting him.

How could he just throw away everything that you had and everything you were working towards just like that? ”

She wished she knew. God, if she had a nickel for every time she’d asked herself that question…

“I don’t know how he could do it; it’s probably why I’ve had such a hard time moving on…

or just moving at all,” she paused to wipe a tear from her eye.

Forcing a brave smile to her face, she continued, “I keep telling myself that I’m probably better off on my own than loving a man who didn’t know what he had when he had it. ”

“He’s too smart to not have known that, and he’s too smart to think that there is anything redeemable in Caroline’s character, after everything that she was trying to do… I just don’t understand.”

“I never got to tell him about the inheritance, so whether he really knows her plans or not I have no idea.” Beth drained the remainder of the wine in her glass.

“Maybe he is too smart, but maybe he was also too hurt by what I did. Maybe it was never about Caroline, or him, maybe he was just trying to hurt me.”

Jane didn’t respond. She sat in the chair next to the couch, her face drawn as her mind worked through everything she had just heard. Beth just watched, not knowing how or where to continue.

What else was left to say?

A knock at the door startled them both.

“I’ll get it,” Jane said, standing quickly to go get their dinner from the delivery man.

Beth stood too, but only to walk into the kitchen and refill her glass with wine, not that she needed it right now; her body was warm, every cell touched with a hint of numbness except those in her heart.

“Why don’t we eat something before we move on to round two?” Jane gently suggested, grabbing silverware from the drawer.

Just like old times, they relaxed on the couch, opening the cartons of lo mein and shrimp and sesame chicken, digging into whatever they desired most.

After a few bites, Jane finally picked up the conversation. “He hasn’t been the same since you left.”

Beth swallowed her mouthful of noodles, unsure of how to respond – unsure that she wanted to.

She’d thought she wanted to know more about what Jane had hinted at on the phone, that Darcy was suffering too.

Suffering from what, she couldn’t fathom; this was his choice.

Now she wondered if that was the right thing to want, in the long run.

She couldn’t afford to question his feelings for her; it had been hard enough to believe what they were months ago.

Could she handle hearing that maybe they had changed? Did she want that possibility?

She didn’t know what she wanted anymore.

“If I didn’t know what happened, I would think that he was hurting inside just as much as you,” Jane finished softly.

Too late.

“What do you mean?” Beth asked, unable to stop herself. She knew it would torture her later, that she would regret it later, but now, she needed to know.

“Not that I see him all the time, of course,” Jane clarified.

“But, he hasn’t looked like his old self, especially when you and he were together.

When you catch him alone, he just looks lost, and then around people, he’s changed.

I mean, he’ll never be like Charles, but he makes more of an attempt now to be engaging and I would even say amiable.

It’s not much by normal standards, but compared to what he was before, it’s significantly noticeable.

” Beth stared at her sister trying to absorb what she said, the picture she painted wasn’t anything like the Darcy that Beth knew.

“Also, I guess a not-insubstantial part of my shock at what you told me comes from the fact that I’ve never seen him with or heard him mention Caroline. ”

“No?” Beth managed to squeak out. Interesting.

Although, they’d kept their relationship a successful secret all those years ago, why wouldn’t they be able to now? Except for the fact that Caroline needed her parents to realize that she was in a relationship.

Or did she?

“Wait, did Caroline turn thirty already? What happened to her?” Beth asked, new thoughts plaguing her.

“She did…” Jane trailed off, taking another bite of her chicken.

“I’m not too sure. After that day, she and Charles haven’t really spoken and I think because of that she hasn’t reached out to me.

I mean, she’s still in the wedding, but I think she’s basically not talking to anyone in her family now.

If you mean about the inheritance and how she’s surviving…

it could be that her parents are helping her, but from the few things that I’ve seen and heard, it’s more likely that Mrs. DeBourgh has sponsored her. ”

So then maybe Darcy is distraught because Caroline has given up on him. No, that wouldn’t make sense. Mrs. DeBourgh’s generosity won’t last forever, she needs that money; she still needs Darcy.

“Or maybe Darcy is paying for it all,” Beth heard herself say, not realizing that the thought had even occurred to her until it was out in the open.