Page 29 of Third Time is the Charm (Passion and Perseverance #3)

As soon as his lips touched hers, no doubt to shut her up, Beth felt her burning anger disintegrate into flaming desire.

His kiss pulled every overwhelming emotion from her, and she let it; she poured everything she felt into that kiss and he took it all.

Even though he’d kissed her, as soon as she began to take over, he let her; he let her tongue invade his mouth, searching for his to duel with.

He let her consume every last space and breath in her search for answers within his kiss.

Beth felt herself wedged between the hard wall at her back and the hard wall of Darcy against her front.

She felt his desire, and unlike with Colin, she wanted him to take him – to take her.

Everything had gotten so complicated, but this, this was simple.

Desire and passion – they were simple. Her hand moved up from his chest, her arms locking around his neck, pulling herself closer into the fire of desire that she hoped would burn every other sensation from her body; she craved the physical and mental release that she knew only Darcy could give her.

That he wanted to give her.

She felt his restraint slipping with every brush of her tongue against his. She felt his erection pressing – throbbing – against her stomach. And she wanted to know that she still had that control over him.

Suddenly, he was gone – his lips, his kiss, his body, his hands – everything; every sensation came to a screeching halt as Darcy pulled back and stepped a solid three feet away from her.

It was like she’d been held under water and was now just coming back up, gasping for the oxygen that was reality.

Beth stood, gulping for air; the three feet between them might as well have been three miles.

She swallowed hard, embarrassment flooding through her for her words, and her actions.

Finally, she looked up at him, expecting to see the stone-cold mask that always seemed to make it back into place after he so easily distanced himself from his desire for her.

This time, he looked as tortured as she did – hurt and desire mingled in his eyes; his body clearly still on fire for her, his breath coming out in hard pants as his hand rested on the desk in the room to support himself.

She felt heat rising to her face, tears of humiliation threatening to boil over.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered thickly. “I need to go.” She abruptly turned back towards the door, when she heard his low, pleading voice.

“Beth, please,” he rasped. “I need to talk to you. Please.” Her brow furrowed, part of her wanting – needing that talk, the other part afraid to hear that she’d just thrown herself at a man who no longer wanted her.

Leaning against the wall, Beth bit her lip and sighed in resignation. “Ok, let’s talk.” She could see the relief that came over him, the tension dropping from his shoulders.

“Thank you,” he began, his voice firmer and more confident, as though he’d been waiting – practicing for this moment. “First, I want to apologize for the things that I said – how I treated you that night.” His jaw flexed with the anger he held for himself over his behavior.

Could she really be hearing this? An apology? In words?

“I was in shock and I felt betrayed, and while those are my reasons, they are no excuse for the way that I spoke to you; after everything that we had been through, after everything that you have put up with me for… my past, my behavior… God, I’m such a fucking ass for throwing it back in your face like that.

” He turned away from her, violently running his hands through his hair.

“I stopped, you know,” Beth said quietly, the need to explain herself bubbling over.

“She did ask me to keep her updated on what you were doing in town and if you had a significant other; in the beginning, I agreed because well, let’s face it, you hardly said anything to me anyway, what information could I possibly give her?

” Darcy’s eyes fell on her again, regret glimmering in their molten depths.

“But, when everything between us… started… I stopped. I think the last thing that I told her was that you were coming to our charity gala and weren’t bringing a date – to which Mrs. DeBourgh responded, inviting herself and Anne, and telling me that Anne was your date,” Beth stopped to laugh, remembering those events that seemed like a million years ago now.

“Beth,” he groaned. “You don’t need to explain yourself; I believe you. I fucking believed you that night when I confronted you, but I was too fucking angry to see it. I was angry that I had to find out from them, but, God, I never truly believed that you had been spying on me the whole time.”

“I see…” Beth whispered, staring at the man in front of her who was, at the same time, the Darcy she knew, but yet, a Darcy she didn’t.

“I don’t expect you to be able to forgive me. God, you moved hours away because of it, so I know that an apology five months later probably means nothing, but I needed you to know that what I said wasn’t true; I need you to know that I still needed you.”

Needed. Past tense. Beth swallowed over the anger rising in her throat.

“Needed me?” she asked incredulously. “How can you say that? How can you say that you needed me when you left me to walk straight back into Caroline’s claws?” She wiped away the stray tear that fell down her left cheek.

Darcy stared at her for a second, complete confusion wiping off the regret from his face. “What are you talking about? I never went back to Caroline.”

“God,” Beth laughed sarcastically. “I’m such an idiot; here I am, thinking that you were truly apologizing, and you don’t even have the decency to not lie to me anymore.

What is this? What purpose does it serve to lie to me now?

Who are you trying to control?” she continued asking, hysterically.

“I can’t. I have to go – this was a mistake. ”

She turned to leave, her face almost running straight into his arm as he put his hand on the wall next to her, blocking her path to the door.

“ What. The. Fuck. Are. You. Talking. About?” His voice was deadly low and on edge.

The sharpness of his tone cut through the remaining barrier that she had left, tears beginning to stream freely down her face.

“You left me; you told me it was over between us and, even after everything she put you through, after everything she put me through, you brought her to your apartment that night and slept with her – like I never mattered,” she bit out, trying to speak without sobbing.

“ FUCK,” he swore vehemently. “Did Jane tell you? I’m going to kill Charles.”

“What are you talking about? Don’t try to lie your way out of this. No one told me – I saw it for myself. I saw you… I saw her… there… naked. I. Saw. Her.”

Beth gasped as Darcy’s hands grasped both sides of her face, forcing her gaze to his; her tears stopping short at the forceful movement.

“Beth, I swear to you, I did not sleep with Caroline that night… or any night since I’ve met you.

Hell, I haven’t touched her – willingly – since she left me.

Fuck.” His forehead came down to rest on hers, his eyes closing as she caught the barest glimmer of moisture in them.

“I didn’t sleep with Caroline, Beth, I promise you.

I didn’t even stay at my apartment that night; I went and stayed with Charles – he can tell you. ”

She held her breath, hardly believing that it could be true. “Then why was she there – naked?”

“God fucking help me if I know,” he laughed bitterly. “All I know is that I showed up the next morning, with Charles, to find Caroline in my apartment, naked and waiting to ambush me – although she was thoroughly surprised when her brother walked in right behind me…”

“You didn’t… you weren’t…” Beth couldn’t even finish, those deeply buried memories surfacing to see if what he was saying could be true.

She hadn’t seen Darcy there or heard him, she hadn’t seen his clothes,

“All this time…” she whispered in shock, her heart aching for everything that she’d left, all on an assumption. Every wall of wrath that she’d built around her heart, trying to convince herself to hate him for what he did disintegrated the second she realized their foundations were a lie.

“I’m sorry, Beth. I’m so fucking sorry.” His voice wavered, now knowing the truth in why she left and what she’d thought of him these past few months.

“God, if I had known that you saw... I explained everything to Charles and I made him swear to me to never tell Jane because I didn’t want you to know that she’d come there right after everything I had said to you.

I wanted to apologize to you for what I said, but when we went to Jane’s apartment, she said you were already gone…

” He paused to catch a shaky breath. “Maybe, if I had just told Jane…” He couldn’t even finish, but Beth knew where he was going; maybe if Charles had told Jane, Beth wouldn’t have left New York.

“I thought you left because of what I said; I thought I’d finally gone too far and broken whatever remained between us… ”

“I’d already forgiven you for that; that’s what I came to see you about that morning,” she whispered regretfully, finding it difficult to breathe with how much her heart ached.

His thumb brushed the last, lone tear that trickled down her cheek; the subtle movement jarring her more recent memory, puzzlement spreading onto her face. “Why did she kiss you tonight?”

His jaw clenched again at the obviously distasteful reminder. “Because it was the first time she’s seen me in months; she wanted to change my mind on the restraining order.”

Her breath caught. “Are you getting one?” she blurted out.

“I already did – the day Charles and I found her at my place,” he said softly.

“I told him everything, and how we had talked about the restraining order before, but with the wedding… He didn’t want to hear it; he took me, and Mrs. Grace, whom she threatened to let her in, down to the station himself to file; Charles was livid.

” His eyes closed painfully, remembering how much the act had hurt his friend.

“But how…”

“Charles was furious, he said he didn’t care – that he wouldn’t invite her to the wedding because she’d gone too far. Jane talked him down – ‘Caroline is his sister’. So, I told him that I would be ok with her being there, that I wouldn’t report it if that’s what he wanted to do.”

Beth let out a shaky laugh. “Of course, Jane… ever the optimist, even when her sister-in-law is pure evil.”

“I couldn’t ask for more from Charles, after everything that he’s done for me…

” Darcy trailed off as if there was more going on, but needed to finish telling her about what happened with Caro to absolve himself.

“I was not expecting… that… from Caroline tonight. I can’t believe she approached me in front of everyone, where Charles could see; she’s so fucking insane.

I tried to handle it discreetly – it’s her brother’s goddamn wedding for fuck’s sake and she couldn’t show just a little bit of respect.

” He paused again, one hand moving to pinch the bridge of his nose in frustration.

“Charles followed us in there, and then went in search of his parents who told her to leave, that she was no longer welcome.”

So, that’s what had happened.

“I see…” she murmured. Beth felt like her eyes had been opened directly into the bright sun after being in the dark for so long.

The truth was bright, burning, and painful, and she found herself trying to blink through the discomfort because at some point in the future, it would feel better than living in the dark.

“ God, Beth,” Darcy rasped, his hand returning to her cheek, his thumb gently rubbing the soft skin of her cheek.

“I never wanted her - never,” he finished firmly, lifting her chin so that she could meet his equally emotional gaze – a gaze that no longer contained any sadness or regret, only an unwavering and potent desire. “ All I ever wanted was you…”

In that moment, she knew that the past four months had done nothing to heal her heart from what she thought had happened – what either of them thought had happened.

She needed Darcy; she needed to be with him – maybe not forever, maybe only for tonight; maybe as a beginning or maybe as the beginning of her closure on his chapter in her life.

After realizing the truth about their devastating misunderstanding, releasing the desire that hadn’t left either of them was the only way to continue to heal the brokenness that should have never been inside of her.

He had wanted her, but did he still…

She felt like she couldn’t breathe, watching him, waiting for him to make a move and decide their fate. His eyes bored into hers, searching in their depths for the truth in her words – whether she could possibly mean them.

That second or two felt like an eternity. She could see – and feel – his desire for her growing, his restraint fracturing exponentially with every second that passed.

“Beth Bennet,” Darcy said, his voice hard and hoarse. “If you don’t walk out that door right now, I will have you and I will have you so fucking hard because I’ve thought of nothing and no one else since the day that you left.”

She met the challenge in his eyes, standing unflinchingly as the need flared in his eyes and burned right through her.

“So then take me because I don’t think I’ll ever feel whole again until you do,” she whispered; she could feel the tension beating around them in time with the hammering of her heart. The thuds slowed, coming to a halt, as Beth held her breath.

His lips came slowly down to hers, giving her one last chance to run. Instead, she raised herself up on her toes, pressing her lips against his, needing to escape the walls she’d built around herself.

The truth set their desire free.