Page 41 of These Shattered Memories

“I love you,” he says quietly. “Please come home.”

“I love you too. I’ll see you soon.”

By the time I make it to Rowan’s house, the sun has already begun to set, and a half-moon hangs over the city. The grand early century brownstone home is nestled in the hills of Queen’s Peak, a far cry from Daniel’s dingy apartment block in Harrow.

I spot Xander’s matte black bike parked out front, and my stomach twists a little in apprehension.

Despite everything that has happened today, I feel myself relax when I see Rowan’s face. He is dressed in a white dress shirt, the sleeves rolled up and his hair styled perfectly, probably coming from whatever meeting he had this morning. He looks mouth-wateringly hot.

Blue eyes flash and without a word, he pulls me into a tight hug. I hold him just as tightly, the strange weight in my stomach dissolving.

“I’m fine,” I tell him when he lets go. “Promise.”

He looks at me for a second longer, analysing my face to see if there’s any new damage. Once satisfied, he moves aside to let me in, and I’m engulfed by his scent. It’s strange. I’ve only been here a couple of times, but it feels comfortable, like a world I share with him alone.

Yet, the world has begun to encroach.

“Hello, Detective,” Xander says when I walk into Rowan’s office. “It’s good to see you alive and kicking.” He’s leaning against the desk, a glass of whisky in his hand, twisting tattoos on full display.

“Xander,” I say in greeting, not returning the sentiment.

His mouth spreads into a menacing grin at that. Ignoring his obvious attempts at making me uncomfortable, I turn back to Rowan. “You had eyes on Daniel, right? Someone knew that and slipped past them, anyway.”

“That’s impossible,” Xander says. “My men wouldn’t let something like that happen.”

I shrug. “Then maybe they are working for whoever is behind this.”

“They wouldn’t,” he pushes back.

I open my mouth to argue, but looking at Xander makes me realise I probably shouldn’t.

“Tell me what happened?” Rowan asks, pulling my attention back to him.

I nod and tell them everything, replaying the image of Daniel and Trist on the floor. None of it feels real, like I’m telling them about a bad movie I watched, cheesy bloody scenes and poverty-stricken areas.

When I’m done, Rowan’s jaw is clenched, his hand gripping my waist tightly enough to bruise.

“Avni is also missing,” I finish. “All of her social media has been wiped.”

Rowan swears under his breath.

“Avni?” Xander asks.

“Trist’s…” I trail—what can I call her? “His partner. She was with him at Spirito.”

“Do you think she knows about what happened?” Rowan asks.

I nod. “Why else would she run?”

“If Moreau finds out The Snake is behind this, he’ll declare war. We need to make sure she doesn’t talk,” Xander says, but I’m already shaking my head before he can finish.

“ No ,” I say thickly. “No one touches her.”

He rolls his eyes. “Rowan, please inform your boyfriend that this is way above him.”

The way he spits the word boyfriend makes my face flush, but I don’t back down. If I want to be in Rowan’s life, I can’t let Xander or Hayden, for that matter, scare me. They’ll have to get over it.

“Watch it,” Rowan bites back. “Alex right. We go near Avni, we escalate whatever this is with The Scarlet Ravens. That’s the last thing we need when we have problems in our own backyard. Let’s focus on finding out who the hell is behind this and ending it. Moreau can come later.”

Xander raises his eyebrow at me, and I force myself to look unaffected, but his blue eyes are filled with a malice that sends a chill up my spine. “You do realise that if this bites us, it’s on you, right?”

I glare back at him, but the feeling of Rowan’s possessive grip on my waist makes me relax. I know Xander is only worried about protecting Rowan and his family.

“Look, I get your interests lie with The Snake, but getting rid of Avni won’t solve anything.

Trist clearly trusted her, which means she’s not just some throwaway Raven.

Harming her further escalates this. If Moreau comes to you, tell him you’re looking into it and give him the assurances he wants,” I say.

And we better hope Avni hasn’t gone to Moreau already and spun another story.

Rowan and Xander look at each other and I visibly see Xander back down at Rowan’s look.

“Let’s do it your way then,” Xander says finally. “We leave the girl alone for now.”

“Thank you,” I say, exhaling a quiet breath. I still have no idea where Avni is. For all I know, she took her chance and ran. I wouldn’t blame her.

They continue to throw out scenarios, calculating what would happen if the Ravens declared war. Every scenario is terrifying and by the time Xander leaves, my head is spinning with all the potential ways this could get worse for Rowan—for us .

All I can see is Daniel’s dead body lying on the floor in a dingy apartment.

He was just a kid, one who made bad decisions, sure, but he didn’t deserve this.

In another life, that could have been me.

How many more Daniels are out there, caught in Senna’s web of power and greed and unable to get out?

And how many Trists are there, caught in something far bigger than them?

It’s late, almost midnight when I finish brushing my teeth in Rowan’s bathroom.

It’s got a classical feel to it with modern brass taps and a green-tiled shower.

It’s clean and new, the kind of space I could have only dreamed about as a kid.

And now I’m brushing my teeth in it, like it’s the world’s most normal thing.

Rowan appears in the mirror behind me, freshly showered and shirtless, sweatpants hanging low on his hips, a perfectly defined V-line pointing to places I want to go.

We stare at each other for a moment as I look over the lines of his muscled, tan arms and the way his hair flops lazily around his head.

He smiles. It’s so stunning it makes me take in a sharp breath.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

I swallow, still looking at him through the mirror. “Yeah, fine. I think seeing Daniel and Trist like that still has me shaken.”

I can still feel Trist’s slick cold blood on my palm and smell the sweet stench of rotting flesh in the air despite how hard I scrubbed my body.

Rowan’s eyes are sympathetic, but he’s not half as wary as I am. He’s used to this. Murder in the search for power is an everyday occurrence for him, it seems. Sure, I come across dead bodies all the time with the OCU but never like this.

“You don’t have to keep doing this. You can walk away. I can handle it.”

I turn to look at him, leaning against the counter. “No,” I say quickly, shaking my head. “No way you’re making me to sit this out. I’m seeing this through. I promised.”

He watches me for a second longer, then nods, relenting. “You did well today. Especially with Xander. He can be a bit…”

“Of an asshole?” I finish. “Yeah. I noticed.”

His chuckle is low. He walks further into the bathroom, his arms circling my hips.

Heat immediately dissolves whatever apprehension I’ve felt all day.

It’s not that surprising that he gets me feeling this way so quickly.

It’s been so long since I’ve felt this blinding desire for someone.

A pull so strong it makes me forget everything else around me.

“What can I do to make you feel better?” he asks quietly, slotting his thigh between my legs.

My lips part, sparks of pleasure already starting to fire. He doesn’t have to do anything. He can just stand there, and I’ll feel okay. “You’re already doing it,” I tell him.

He watches me, eyes sparkling and never leaving me. Midnight blue, heavy with lust.

I arch my back slightly, leaning into him until there is no space between our bodies.

He doesn’t say a word, only watches me with that intense gaze that sends a shiver up my spine.

I don’t say anything either. Instead, my lips touch his, my hips purposefully grinding down on his thigh until I feel the friction that I’m after through my own sweatpants.

A quiet breath escapes his mouth, and I steal it away, deepening the kiss, nibbling at his lower lip as my hands rake through his hair.

“Alex,” Rowan says quietly.

“Hm?” I hum, prodding his lips open with my tongue.

I moan quietly when he stirs his hips to meet my movement.

“You’re my everything, you know that?” His fingers grip my hip bones, and I pull away for a moment to look at him, but I don’t stop grinding my hips down until I’m full on dry humping him.

“No,” I say breathlessly. “Tell me.”

He gives me a wolfish grin, tilting his head. In a flash, he spins me around and pushes my head down onto the cool marble counter. I feel him push against me, his hard dick right against my ass.

“How about I just show you instead?”

“Yes, please.” My voice is breathy and pleading. I push back against him, and he laughs darkly.

He pushes my shirt up my back before I feel the soft touch of his lips against my spine. He plants several kisses right where the two small dips on my back sit. It’s so tender, tears dance in my eyes.

“Perfect,” he whispers against my skin. “You’re perfect.”

And somehow, that undoes me. The tears spill from my eyes, and I stand straight to face him, taking his face in my hands before he can stop me and kissing him harder than I ever have.

I drink him in, taste every word unsaid between us. He slips his thigh between my legs and this time, I’m shameless. I grind down, wanting to fall apart just for him.

He pulls back, watching me before running a thumb against my cheek, wiping away a single tear and putting it to his lips.

“I’ll always keep you safe, Lexie,” he whispers.

But that’s not why I’m crying. Emotions I don’t understand spin through me so I can only surge forward to kiss him again, deeper and hungrier.

His strained hold on me is my only indicator that he’s enjoying this as much as I am. I rub myself on him, feeling his own dick strain against his pants. I’m so close it almost hurts.

He grabs my throat, pulling me away from his face. “Come for me,” he whispers. “Show me how desperate you are for this.”

So, I do, rocking my hips until the friction is too much and coming in so quickly my mind goes blank from the sheer pleasure running through me.

“Rowan,” I almost scream.

Right there, in his bathroom, our foreheads touch as I ride out my orgasm, electricity jolting through me. I stay there for a moment, breathing heavily against him, my eyes closed and our heads close together.

“You’re perfect,” he tells me again.

And the way he says it makes me believe it’s true. With Rowan, I feel like we can fix this. I feel like I can do anything when I’m next to him.

“I love you,” I whisper.

“I love you too, Alex,” he says, kissing my forehead. “Now, how do you feel about coming again?”

I smile, rolling my hip again despite the wetness of my pants. “I think I’m down.”

He grins and I know I’m in for a long night, which is exactly what I need.