Page 37 of These Shattered Memories

S ying smells of damp cement and steel. Harsh fluorescent lights buzz overhead faintly. The warehouse is famed and highly protected. I can’t imagine the secrets that are hidden here. Anyone in the OCU would kill to see this place first hand.

The thought of the OCU makes my stomach drop. The fallout from Chief Anders’ death will be massive, and I know questions are already floating around about her death, but she’s the last thing I want to think about.

I know The Snake has covered it up and disguised it as a gang-related kill, but someone out there, someone in The Judiciary, knows that’s not true and they will want answers soon.

Rowan walks ahead of me, his back straight, his stride confident.

The guards move aside with the kind of respect reserved for someone untouchable, their serpent tattoos on display as they nod in silent acknowledgment.

I walk next to him, ignoring the way the men’s eyes flick to me, curious about who is walking with their potential future leader.

I don’t want them to know me, much less see me.

When we reach the heavy metal door, two guards straighten to attention.

One of them pushes it open, and it moves with a quiet groan.

Rowan steps inside without hesitation, but I pause for a second, my stomach twisting.

I know what’s waiting for me on the other side, and I don’t think I’m ready to face it. But I have no choice, so I walk in.

The room is a small, lit by a single overhead light that casts a harsh shadow against the cement.

Kane is slumped against the wall, his wrists bound behind his back with coarse rope—the same kind that cut into my skin just days ago.

My eyes drift to my own bruises, now mottled yellow and purple, and I wince.

Kane looks up at the sound of my footsteps, dark hair streaked with grey matted with sweat and sticking to his forehead.

The sight of him in this state hits me like a punch to the gut.

He smiles—weak, almost hesitant—and for a split second, all I see is the man I trusted.

The man who taught me everything I know. The man who let me into his family.

“Alex,” he rasps, his voice cracked and dry. “You’re here.”

I wonder how long he’s been down here. Despite the sweaty clothes, he looks unharmed, no blood staining any part of him, probably because of Rowan’s instruction. Both relief and apprehension spread through me.

“Hi,” I say.

He watches me carefully, his expression softening. “You might not believe me but I’m glad you’re okay. You should know that I would have never let her hurt you.”

I ball my hands into fists, anger rising so suddenly, hot and fast in my chest that I can barely contain it. “But you did hurt me,” I say. “You used me.”

He shakes my head. “It was never supposed to go down this way. You weren’t supposed to end up there.”

I don’t know what to say to that. I look for the words, but none come. What did he think would happen?

Kane looks past me to Rowan, who stands behind me, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and expression unreadable.

“So, this is it?” Kane asks, his voice steady. “You’re with him now? You’ve traded the badge for The Snake?”

My throat tightens, but I force myself to keep my expression blank. I don’t answer because the truth is—I don’t know.

“That’s not—” I begin.

“I was trying to protect you. I’ve always tried to protect you,” He cuts me off. “You should know that I didn’t have a choice.”

I shake my head, finding my words again. “This wasn’t about protecting me, and you did have a choice. You chose to protect yourself.”

His eyes blaze, and for what feels like a minute, we stare at each other. Finally, he slumps back against the wall, resigned. “Like I said, it was never supposed to go this far. I didn’t want to involve you in this mess. I just needed your help.”

The way he makes it sound so simple makes my stomach twist. “So, you thought manipulating me and using Halle’s case was the way to do it?”

“I admit it wasn’t my finest moment, but I was desperate. Anders was going to tell Tanya the truth, and I panicked. You know I can’t lose her.”

I do know that, and yet he still cheated. My mind drifts to Kane’s daughters. They’ll be worried about their dad. They’ll want to know why he hasn’t come home, and Tanya will have to lie to them.

“Anders promised you’d be chief, didn’t she?” I ask. “This wasn’t just about the cheating. She offered you something you couldn’t refuse.”

He doesn’t say anything, just looks at me and I know I’m right. I always thought Kane didn’t really want to be chief, despite being the best at his job. I realise now that I didn’t know anything about him.

“Well, you got your wish,” I continue, “She won’t be telling anyone anything now and you might even get her job, but her blood is on your hands.”

Silence falls between us, heavy and suffocating. I hear my own breathing, too loud in the quiet room.

“You don’t get it,” he says finally, voice low. “This city—it eats people alive. Anders was just another example of that. Someone else will take her place. Someone worse. That’s how it works.”

“That’s not an excuse,” I say.

“It’s not an excuse,” he agrees, his tone calm, resigned. “It’s the truth. And if you think you can stop any of this then you’re wrong. Everyone wants a piece of Haze.”

As much as I hate to admit it, he’s right. The OCU is corrupt. The Judiciary is corrupt. Everyone with power in this city is playing the same game. And whoever is behind Haze—they’re winning so far.

I turn to Rowan, who’s been silent this whole time, watching with that unreadable expression he wears so well.

“What happens to him?” I ask.

He tilts his head, a small, dangerous smile playing on his lips. “That’s up to you.”

The weight of it all presses down on me. I consider walking away and letting Rowan handle this. But I can’t. Elsie and Anna’s faces flash before my eyes again, sweet and innocent. They don’t deserve this. Tanya doesn’t deserve this.

I turn back to Kane, meeting his gaze. “You’re going to tell Tanya everything, from the affair to your deal with Anders and what you did to me. Everything. And it will be up to her whether she forgives you or she kills you.”

“Alex…” he breathes.

I close my eyes. I can’t stay here. The lights are too bright and looking at him makes me want to spill my guts on the floor.

Rowan comes to stand next to me and I feel his gentle hand at the small of my back. I let myself lean into him, ignoring the way Kane watches us with curious eyes.

“You’re lucky,” Rowan says to Kane. “He is nothing like me. If he was, your body would be at the bottom of the river by now.”

Kane visibly flinches.

“Tell Tanya the truth, Kane, because if you don’t, I will,” I say finally, then turn to leave the room because I can’t be in here for another second.

Outside the warehouse, the freezing winter chill hits me like a slap. I double over, trying to catch my breath, the heaviness of what just happened coming over me like a wave.

Rowan’s hand rests lightly on my back, steadying me. “I’m here,” he says quietly.

It takes a moment for me to catch my breath again before looking up at him. “Can you take me home?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper. “I think I need to be alone.”

Rowan hesitates, his eyes searching for something in mine. After a moment, he nods. “Of course,” he says.

I’m glad he doesn’t ask if I’m okay because I don’t know how I’d answer that.

Rowan doesn’t say much on the drive to my apartment and neither do I. I can’t think of anything to say. The steady hum of the engine fills the silence between us, but it doesn’t feel suffocating.

When we reach my building, he parks the car and cuts the engine, turning to look at me with those eyes I’ve never been able to resist.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” he asks, his voice quiet but firm.

For a second, I consider saying yes. There’s a part of me that wants him to come upstairs, to sit with me in the silence, but Kane’s words won’t stop ringing in my head.

So, you belong to The Snake now?

I force a small smile, trying to hide the fact that I’m barely holding myself together. “I’m sure,” I say. “Thank you for the ride—for everything.”

He doesn’t respond right away, just reaches into the console and pulls out a phone, holding it out to me. I blink at it, confused for a moment.

“Yours is broken,” he says simply. “Use this for tonight. Call me if you need anything.”

There’s something else he wants to say—I can see it in the way his mouth presses into a thin line, his jaw tight. But he doesn’t say it. I nod and take the phone.

“I will,” I tell him softly. “Thank you.”

We linger for a moment, the quiet stretching between us. Finally, I force myself to move, opening the door.

“Goodnight, Rowan,” I say over my shoulder.

Before I can go, his hand catches my arm, pulling me back. His palm settles at the nape of my neck, and he presses a kiss to the top of my head. It’s so tender, so uncharacteristically Rowan, that something inside me crumbles. The warmth of him seeps into me, easing the tension inside me.

“I’ll be here when you’re ready,” he murmurs. “Goodnight, Lexie.”

The knot in my throat tightens, but I don’t look back as I head up the steps to my building, fighting back the tears that threaten to fall.

Inside, the apartment feels colder than usual. I pause at the threshold, assessing the damage from two nights ago. The broken glass is still on the floor, my blanket lying haphazardly over my couch and the candle now burnt out on the table.

I don’t think, I get to work cleaning it all up, trying to distract myself from my own thoughts. I bleach the entire place, mixing fumes that probably shouldn’t be mixed until I’m dizzy, and my apartment is spotless again.

When I’m done, I go to stand under the hot spray of water in my shower, my wounds stinging, but distracting me from the thoughts that threaten to break me.

I see Kane in that basement—broken, resigned. I want to be angry. I should be angry. But all I feel is this hollow space where my best friend used to be. His question races through my mind again.

You belong to The Snake now?

I didn’t answer him because I don’t know the answer myself. Belonging to The Snake … It sounds wrong. It feels wrong. But the truth is, Rowan came for me when no one else did. He saved me when Kane, the one person I thought would always have my back, left me to die.

Rowan .

I sink to the floor of the shower, letting the water hit me. Everything circles back to him. The way he looked at me tonight, steady and sure made me feel safer than I’ve ever felt before. Not even with Halle when we were in Canning.

And being with him—letting myself feel whatever this is—inevitably means aligning myself with The Snake.

Rowan is The Snake. I know I’ll never be one of them and I don’t want to be, but I want to give into Rowan.

I want to be with him. The thought makes my stomach twist because it means I’m crossing a line I can’t uncross.

I groan loudly, pressing the heels of my palms into my eyes. Rowan is not a saviour. He is not good either, but Kane was right about one thing, there is no good in Senna. The clans, The Judiciary, the police, everyone is chasing what they want with no regard for anyone else.

Maybe it’s time I chase something I want too.

When I leave the shower and get dressed, the phone Rowan gave me buzzes on my bed, the screen lighting up with a name that makes my chest tighten.

It’s him.

I stare at it for a long moment, my thumb hovering over the screen before I press answer.

“Hey,” I say softly.

“Hey, Lexie,” he says. “I wanted to check on you.”

I swallow. My heart skipping a beat. “Thanks,” I say, “I’m okay.”

There’s a beat of silence on the other end then, “It’s fine if you aren’t.”

I sigh. “I can’t stop thinking about what Kane said.”

“About belonging to The Snake?” he asks, like he can read my mind.

“Yeah,” I say.

Another pause. Longer this time. “If you belong to The Snake, then The Snake belongs you, Alex. Every piece of it. Every man, every woman. Including me.”

My breath catches, the words sinking into me slowly. He says it so easily, like it’s a simple truth. “Rowan,” I start, unsure where I’m going with it because what do I say to that? He’s just pledged the most powerful clan in Senna to me.

“Get some rest,” he says. “I’ll be here when you’re ready.”

I nod, even though he can’t see me. “Thanks,” I say. “Good night.”

“Good night,” he says quietly, and the line goes silent.

The only thing I’ve ever wanted out of life was to be happy and safe. Rowan makes me feel that. I’ve spent so long running—running from Canning, from the dangers of Senna, from him. But maybe running isn’t the answer. Maybe it’s time to stop, to see where we end up.

Maybe it’s time I stop fighting it.