Page 32 of These Shattered Memories

Theories clumsily race through my mind, each one worse than the last. I bite down hard on the rising dread. I’m supposed to meet Key’s contact tonight. If I don’t show, Rowan will think I bailed. He’ll think I betrayed him—just like last time. We were finally starting to trust each other and now…

I stop my train of thought. I need to get out of here first, and then I can worry about Rowan.

“Hey!” I shout, my voice cracking in the empty space. “Kane!”

Silence .

The door remains shut and no light spills in from the hallway. I tug harder at the restraints, the rope grinding against my wrists, but the knot is tight. It doesn’t budge no matter how hard I pull.

“Kane!” I try again. “Get me out of here!”

A few seconds later, I hear a muffled shuffle from the other side of the door and a light flicker. My heart jumps as the handle turns. Kane steps inside, his face grim and pale, still dressed in jeans and jacket from earlier.

“Alex,” he starts, his voice low.

I breathe heavily. “What the fuck is going on? Why am I here?”

His jaw tightens. “Jesus, Alex,” he mutters, stepping further into the room. He keeps his voice calm, but there’s an edge to it. “I tried to help you.”

“Help me?” I repeat, jerking against the ropes. “You kidnapped me!”

He shakes his head, running a hand through his hair. “You weren’t supposed to make this complicated,” he says. “All you had to do was find out who’s pushing Haze and give me a name. That’s it. Couldn’t you just stick to the plan?”

The blood drains from my face. My body slackens against the chair, the weight of realization pressing down. “Those emails…” I trail. “It was you.”

He doesn’t respond immediately, but he averts his gaze, and that’s enough to confirm my suspicions.

“Why?”

This time, he gives a dry laugh, his face twisting with something dark.

“You have to know it’s nothing personal.

There are powerful people in Senna who are very interested in Haze—people with deep pockets.

They all wanted Professor Hawthorne’s research, but she never budged.

” He leans in slightly. “And then she turned up dead. Someone stole her research and murdered her.”

I shake my head, trying to process his words. “But why me? Why drag Halle into it? We have nothing to do with this.”

His lips press into a thin line. “Because you were desperate to save her. You’d do anything for her, and I needed someone like you with an incentive to keep digging.”

The knot in my stomach tightens, a cold sweat slicking my skin. “You could’ve done it yourself.”

“Oh, I was,” he says, his tone almost casual. “But like I said, you had the right motivation. I’ll admit, though, I didn’t expect you to drag Rowan Vasilyev into it. That was … creative.”

I’m shaking my head before he’s done. This is all so wrong.

“You said many people are after her research. Are you working for one of them?”

Kane tilts his head, and I almost don’t recognise him.

This isn’t the man I’ve known for years, the man I trusted to have my back, the man who saw me in the OCU after my undercover assignment and chose me for his team.

The man whose children I buy Christmas presents for every year.

But maybe he’s always been like this. Maybe Kane has been dirty all along and I never realised it.

He wouldn’t be the first dirty cop in the OCU, and he wouldn’t be the last.

“Who I’m working for isn’t really important. What’s important is that we’re running out of time, and I need you to tell me what you know.”

“I’ve told you everything.” My voice comes out hollow.

He narrows his eyes, his jaw tightening. “Rowan must have told you something.”

“Rowan isn’t involved.”

“The Snake is always involved, which means Rowan is, too.”

I hate that he’s right, but I can’t tell him about Key’s contact; it would be betraying Rowan’s trust, and I can’t do that. If I ever get out of here, I need him to know that I never betrayed his trust.

Instead, I switch tactics. “What will Tanya think? Or Elsie and Anna? Do they know what you’re doing?”

His face hardens, his large frame looming over me. Fury blazes in his eyes and I know I’ve struck a nerve. Good.

“I’m protecting their futures in a way the OCU never could,” he says.

I snort and his face shifts, a cruel curl of his lips.

“Everyone in this city is dirty, Alex. I mean, you’re sleeping with the fucking Head of The Snake. So, don’t sit here and pretend to be a saint. You’re no better than me.”

Maybe he’s right, I don’t get to stand on a pedestal here, but I’m not the one who kidnapped his best friend or lied to them for months.

“I don’t know what you want me to tell you, Kane,” I whisper.

He sucks in a breath, his shoulders rising and falling. “I wish you did, because now you’ve just made it a lot more difficult for the both of us.”

His words hang heavy in the air as he turns to leave. My eyes dart around the room, searching for something—anything—that could be a weapon. But it’s just me, a lightbulb and a chair.

“Wait, Kane,” I call after him, desperation bleeding into my voice.

He pauses at the door, his back to me. “I’m sorry, Alex,” he says.

And then he’s gone, the door shutting with a hollow thud, leaving me alone in the suffocating silence.

***

My head lolls to the side and I jolt awake. Cold sinks deep into my skin, gnawing at my bones, making every muscle ache. My arms scream from the cramping, bound too long behind me with the biting grip of hemp rope.

Goosebumps pepper my skin, and my breath mists faintly in the frigid air. Streams of weak silver light creep through the grimy curtains drawn over the windows. Daylight. Somehow, it’s already the next day.

My stomach drops.

I missed the meeting with Key’s contact. Rowan will think I used him to get Halle’s case dismissed and ran. He’ll probably tear through the streets looking for me and the first place he’ll go to is Halle’s. My stomach drops. There’s no telling what The Snake could do to her.

Shit, shit, shit.

I need to get the hell out of here. I need to get to Halle—to Rowan.

Panic tightens my throat. “Hey!” I shout weakly. “Kane!”

I wait, but no answer comes. Exhaustion threatens to pull me under once more and as hard as I try to resist, I drift away again.

I’m not sure how long I sleep for, but the sound of a door creaking open pulls me back. I keep my eyes shut, listening to the sound of footsteps, more than one pair, entering the room.

“Is he asleep?” a voice asks, sharp and familiar. “Wake him up.”

A violent yank sends a jolt of pain through my shoulders. My restraints tugging at bruised, bloodied skin. I groan, agony tearing through me, but when I open my eyes, the pain dissipates and only shock remains.

No. This can’t be real.

Brown eyes meet mine, and a smile twists the kind face I’ve trusted for years into something unrecognizable.

Chief Rachel Anders stares back at me, seeming to enjoy my reaction.

“Oh, Alex,” she begins. “I gave you some time to finish your assignment and you’ve done nothing. I hate that it has to be this way.”

Everything feels like it’s upside down, the walls caving in and melting away at the same time.

“What’s going on?” I ask, turning to Kane. “What is she doing here?”

He doesn’t answer, only keeps his eyes trained on a spot near my shoulder.

“You know, when I assigned you to that Vasilyev case back then, I didn’t think you’d make it out,” Chief Anders continues, making me look at her again.

“Honestly, I thought they would kill you when they found out who you were and then, at least, I’d have my arrest warrant.

Instead, for some inexplicable reason, you came out unharmed and with enough evidence to get me an arrest and a promotion. ”

Pieces click in place. Rachel Anders was the Senior Detective investigating The Snake when I went undercover, and Rowan’s arrest got her the Chief role.

“There are only three reasons why Rowan spared you,” she continues, her voice almost playful. “One, you were so good at your job you fooled him completely. Two, you’ve been working for The Snake all along. Or three…” Her smile sharpens. “He fell in love with you.”

A cold sweat breaks over my skin. My mouth dries as her words sink in. She knows .

“Which is it?” she presses, leaning slightly forward. “My money’s on number three.”

I don’t answer. I can’t.

She sighs and straightens. “Well, whatever it is, it doesn’t matter.

I have bigger plans for you now. I want to see just how much the future Head of The Snake values a junior detective in the OCU.

Do you think he’ll come running if I send him your picture?

And if he does, will he give me what I want? ”

I shake my head, words spilling out before I can stop them. “Rowan isn’t behind Haze. Even if he is, he isn’t going to risk The Snake for me. You’re wasting your time.”

She watches me closely, her eyes telling me she isn’t buying whatever I’m selling. “I think you’re lying to me. I think he’ll be very interested to hear what I have to say.”

I shake my head, trying to look undeterred. “I don’t know what Kane told you, but Rowan isn’t in love with me. He never was. And sure, I asked him for help, but that fell apart pretty quickly. He won’t speak to you. He won’t come.”

My eyes land on Kane, who looks away again. The best way to tell a lie is to sprinkle some truth into it.

A weight settles inside me. Rowan will think I’ve betrayed him. He won’t come to my rescue. The words feel like lead in my mouth. I don’t want to be right, but maybe I am. Maybe he won’t care. Maybe this has all been a lie.

He won’t come …

Anders smiles as she pulls out a gun and levels it at my head. “Then there’s no point in keeping you alive then, is there?”

I don’t flinch. For the first time, there’s no surge of panic. Just exhaustion. Resignation. A bitter voice whispers in the back of my mind: Rowan won’t come.

She laughs again, lowering the gun. “Relax. I’m not going to kill you—yet. If Rowan refuses to come to the table, then you’re of no use to me. So, you better pray he cares just a little, Kimura.” She turns to look at Kane before walking out of the room and leaving us alone.

We stare at each other for a long moment, my breathing heavy and his steady. A thousand words race through my mind, but none of them feel like the right ones.

“Kane,” I say carefully. “You don’t have to do this.”

He shakes his head. “You don’t understand,” he says.

“Tell me,” I say. “Tell me what she has on you. That has to be it, right? You can’t be doing this by choice.”

He sucks in a shaky breath, and I know I’ve struck something. Anders has something over him. This isn’t just about money; there’s something else too.

“Let’s say Anders is right,” I rush to continue.

“Let’s say Rowan does care about me. That means he’s already looking for me.

That means he’s about to figure out you were at my place last night.

What do you think happens after that? He will go right to your house, to Tanya, and the girls.

In fact, he might not even go personally.

He’ll send Xander and believe me when I say you don’t want him anywhere near them.

I don’t want him anywhere near them. You have to think this through, Kane. ”

His hands clench, but I catch the glint of fear in his eyes. He knows I’m right.

“Are you sure this is a risk worth taking?” I add, quieter now.

He doesn’t answer. He just turns and walks out, leaving me alone in the silence.