Page 36 of These Shattered Memories

“I did think that for a moment,” I admit, “But I know you, Lexie. You’re the best person I’ve ever met.

You’d never break your word. And even without Kane’s help, I’d have found you and brought you back to me.

I’d find you with my eyes closed, my hands tied, and the rest of my senses taken away.

I haven’t taken my eyes off you since the night I met you, and I won’t begin to now. ”

He shivers in my hold, eyes wide as he meets my eyes. “You mean that?” he asks quietly.

I press a kiss on his mouth because I do. I really do and nothing about it is terrifying because I’m in love with Alexander Kimura. I’ve been in love with him from the moment I met him.

“I mean it,” I say, “Every word.”

His eyes crinkle at the corners and he laughs quietly. “That’s probably the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me.”

“What can I say? I’m a romantic guy.”

He snorts, pushing me away gently. “This is a shit show.”

“I know.” Right now, shit show is an understatement.

“Key’s contact,” he says. “We missed the meeting.”

I nod. “I asked Hayden to go,” I say, “Not to make contact, but just to see. We don’t know who he is—he’s not a part of The Snake, but we do have eyes on him. We’re tracking his every move. Sooner or later, he’ll meet whoever is behind this.”

Alex runs a hand through his hair. “Jesus, whoever is behind this is doing their best to stay hidden. They are hiding behind layers of people.”

“They are smart.”

Alex shoots me a glance. “Any ideas?”

I shake my head. “Not really, but I have eyes on The Keepers. If it’s any one of them…” I don’t finish the thought because if it is someone in The Keepers, we’re dealing with more than just power. We’re facing a war within The Snake.

“Okay,” he says, “So, what now?”

“Now you go back to sleep. We can talk about the rest when you’re all healed up.”

“I’m fine,” he mutters, sounding more like a sullen teenager than anything.

I stand from the bed, deciding he probably needs to drink some water and maybe get some food in him too.

“Where are you going?” he asks, his voice small.

“I’ll be right back,” I assure him.

“Wait, Rowan.”

“Yes, babe?” I turn back to him with a grin.

His brow furrows. “What did you just call me?”

I feign innocence. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Rolling his eyes, he settles back in the bed, then clears his throat. “Thank you again,” he says. “For coming to find me. For all of this.”

“Told you already. You’re mine in every sense of that word and I like what belongs to me close to me.” I wink for good measure and make my way downstairs.

Tonight, the townhouse is under heavy security from the guards. I’d have preferred to keep this place and him hidden, but right now, we have no idea what we’re dealing with, and the safer Alex is, the better.

An hour later, Alex is adequately fed and hydrated and I’m lying next to him in the darkness of my bedroom, listening to his steady breathing for anything unusual. He scoots up next to me, an arm draping over my torso.

“Rowan?” he says quietly, like he’s afraid to wake me up.

“Yeah?”

“I liked what you called me.”

I frown, turning slightly to face him. “What babe? I thought you hated pet names.”

“I do,” he whispers, and I can almost make out his smile in the dark. “But I think I like them when they come from you.”

He leans over and plants a quick kiss on my lips and for the first time in a while, I feel like my heart has forgotten how to work and my brain has turned into mush. If I wasn’t screwed before, I’m definitely screwed now.

Oh, fuck.

Halle arrives early in the morning, barely waiting for the door to open before rushing past me to Alex. She wraps her arms around him, her voice breaking. “I was so scared.”

“I’m okay,” Alex assures her, his hand running gently down her back. I wince when I realise how tightly she’s holding him, but Alex doesn’t complain.

“Promise?” She asks.

“Yeah. Promise. Rowan was there.”

Something twists inside me. My heart, I realise. It’s been doing a lot of that since I admitted my feelings.

This morning, Alex looks better—less pale than last night—but the evidence of what happened to him is still glaring. His bruised wrists and the dark mark blooming on his cheek make it hard to look at him without wanting to march to Sying and end Kane’s miserable existence.

Halle pulls back and glances at me, her sharp eyes scanning. “I drew some cards for you. The Wheel of Fortune and The Chariot.”

I stare at her blankly. “I don’t know what that means.”

“She does that,” Alex says softly, a faint smile on his lips. He looks at Halle like she hung the stars in the sky. A strange, dark feeling springs up so fast inside mee, green and ugly.

Relax, Rowan.

“Tarot cards. It’s her thing,” Alex continues, pulling me back.

“Okay…” I trail, but she is already speaking.

“The Chariot was upright, but The Wheel of Fortune was reversed.”

“I still don’t—”

“It could mean some changes coming, but they don’t have to be bad,” Halle continues pointedly.

I glance at Alex, hoping he might translate, but all he does is shrug, clearly accustomed to cryptic fortunes.

“Thank you?” I try.

She nods. “And thank you for finding him.”

And then she pulls Alex into another too-tight hug that makes me involuntarily wince again. I fight the urge to tell her to let go. I don’t think either of them would be very happy with me.

“I can’t believe Kane would do this,” she whispers, her voice breaking. “I could kill him.”

You and me both, Halle.

“Now you know how I felt when you were arrested,” Alex murmurs, his tone tinged with quiet humour.

They continue to speak quietly and as I watch them; I can’t help but drift to Richard Arnold Jr. Halle is not visibly strong, but I can tell there is a fierceness in her just by the way she looks at Alex.

Richard was a piece of shit, spoiled and arrogant, and I wonder whether she did kill him that night.

If she did, then she did us all a favour.

I leave them in the kitchen, slipping into my office and calling Hayden.

“Tell me you have something,” I start.

“Not yet,” Hayden replies. “Our guy hasn’t moved.”

Daniel Tang. He was Key’s contact.

Frustration flares inside me, but I stamp it down. We can’t be too careless. “Thanks for keeping an eye on this,” I tell him.

“How’s Alex?” Hayden asks.

“Are you asking because you care, or because you’re being polite?”

There’s a beat of silence. “Both,” he says. “I know you care about him, Rowan, and believe it or not, I do care about your happiness.”

The honesty in Hayden’s voice hits me harder than I expect. “Thanks,” I mutter.

“But let me ask you this,” he continues. “Is that why you didn’t kill that cop? Because of Alex? Because of what he’d think?”

The question hangs in the air. Alex has always been my blind spot; the person who softens edges I’m not sure I can afford to dull. I don’t know why, but I want to be better for him. I’ll never be good, but he is.

Despite everything, he still tries to save the people he loves. And I care about him enough to not hurt Kane—even when I know he should suffer.

“If it is?” I ask.

“It’s dangerous for anyone to hold power over The Head of The Snake,” Hayden says carefully. “Especially their Right Eye.”

My jaw tightens. My father is my mother’s Right Eye, a partnership born of convenience, not love. That’s how it’s supposed to be. Loyalty matters more than affection.

“I’m not marrying him, Hayden,” I say.

At least not yet.

But the truth I can’t admit to him is that Alex already has power over me. He makes me rethink decisions; and that is a type of influence I can’t afford to let anyone have. Love is a luxury we can’t afford.

And yet, Alex doesn’t feel like a luxury; he feels like a necessity.

“Just something to consider,” Hayden says. “But if he makes you happy, that’s a good thing. God knows we could all use a little of that.”

My chest tightens at his words. Hayden and Xander are the best brothers I could have asked for, even in the chaos of our lives, we have managed to ignore the outside noise and stand together no matter what.

“Thanks,” I say quietly. “Call me if our guy moves.”

“Of course.”

I end the call and head back to the kitchen, where Alex and Halle are huddled together, still speaking in low voices. Something about it reminds me of my brothers and me, whispering in Hayden’s room after our father punished us for failing to remember some asinine fact about The Snake.

Once Halle leaves, Alex turns to me from across the counter, a determined frown creasing his face. “I want to see Kane.”

I raise an eyebrow. He looks steadier, but the night of rest hasn’t erased the exhaustion lingering in his posture. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” he says firmly. “I’m sure.”

I don’t like it but it’s his decision, so, I nod once, pressing down my own emotions. “Okay.”