Page 30 of These Shattered Memories

I wake up just before the sun rises, the room bathed in the faint, golden glow of the lamp I forgot to turn off.

Alex clings to me, his body pressed tightly against mine.

His lips twitch slightly, his breath soft and steady.

I should be exhausted after last night, but I’m strangely energized.

Who needs Haze when Alexander Kimura exists?

Doubt whispers in the back of my mind—a quiet warning not to trust this, to brace for the inevitable flames.

But I push it aside. From the moment I met him in that bar, I felt the pull, an inevitability that made resisting him impossible.

I’ve always wanted Alex, but this time, I’m not running from it.

I’ll do everything in my power to keep him.

Starting with ending all of this.

Carefully, I shift out of his grip. He murmurs something incoherent, his body momentarily tightening before sinking back into the pillow.

I pause at the edge of the bed, my gaze lingering on him.

I could watch him for hours, memorize the number of eyelashes he has, the way his hair falls over his forehead.

Instead, I lean down, press a kiss to his temple, and remind myself there’s work to do.

Alex surfaces at eight, leaning against the doorway, shirtless with his black hair sticking up in wild directions. A sleepy smile tugs at his lips. Bruises and bite marks pepper his chest, a pleasant visual reminder of last night.

He’s beautiful, even in the morning with those high cheek bones and delicate features. My gaze catches on the tattoo over his heart, and a flicker of my untameable possessiveness rises up again.

“Hi. Um, good morning,” he says softly, his voice slightly hesitant.

“Hi,” I say, warmth spreading through me. “Good morning to you too.”

He lingers at the doorframe, leaning his head against the panel. There’s a wariness in his posture, a tension I can read immediately. I want to chase it away with my mouth, make him never doubt this or me again.

“How’d you sleep?” I ask.

“Good,” he says, his smile widening slightly. “Probably the best I’ve slept in a long time.”

“Helps when you come three times in one night.”

He laughs, the sound light and genuine. “So charming.”

“Come here,” I tell him.

For a moment, he hesitates, but then he steps inside. His bare feet pad across the hardwood and he moves behind the desk, sliding into my lap. The weight of him against me stirs something less than innocent inside me, but I push it down, keeping my hands on his hips as he leans in.

He cradles my face in his hands and kisses me, soft and teasing. It’s so like him, a mix of coyness and control, and I let him take the lead for a minute. Maybe it will soften the blow for what I’m about to say next.

“Hayden and Xander will be here in a few minutes,” I murmur against his mouth.

He pulls back abruptly, his eyes wide. “What?”

I smirk. He looks like a deer caught in the headlights, which is both hilarious and, admittedly, a little hot. “You should probably get dressed unless you’re okay with them seeing those bruises.”

His eyes narrow, doubt flickering back into his expression. “Are you sure it’s okay that I’m here?” he asks, his voice quieter now.

I shrug. If either of them tries anything, I’ll shoot them dead myself. “I don’t know, probably, but I can’t guarantee anything.”

It’s time they get over their distrust of Alex.

“Rowan,” he says pointedly.

“Alex?” I reply, feigning innocence.

His lips press into a thin line, unimpressed.

I brush a strand of hair from his face, tucking it behind his ear. “Relax. They want to get to the bottom of this as much as we do, and I think that outweighs everything else. They also know you’re important to me.”

The words hang in the air between us, and I can see him mulling them over, chewing the inside of his bottom lip. It’s a tell, one I’ve noticed in the short time we’ve been back in each other’s lives. I reach up, swipe my thumb over his lip, and he stops.

“Seriously,” I say, my voice softer now. “I trust you, and they trust me.”

After a beat, he nods. “Let me go put on a shirt,” he says, sliding off my lap.

“You don’t have to,” I call after him.

He flips me off as he disappears down the hall, and I chuckle, already counting down the minutes until I can pull him back into my arms.

Hayden and Xander arrive a few minutes later whilst Alex is still upstairs.

Today, Hayden is not dressed in his standard suit, he’s in a black t-shirt and black pants.

His hands are smudged with coal, which tells me he’s been up all night drawing.

Xander on the other hand, is in his standard leather jacket, the outline of his gun visible, likely on purpose.

“You look different,” Xander remarks, eyes roaming my office as if in search of something out of place.

“Different?”

“Well-rested,” he clarifies, looking back at him.

Well, no point in lying, I figure. “Alex is here.”

“Oh, fuck, no,” he says through gritted teeth.

I watch him reach for his gun and an uncontrollable rage erupts in me. “Touch that and I kill you.”

His nostrils flare just as Hayden lets out an exasperated sigh. “Cut it out, both of you.” His eyes fall on me. “We went through this. You can’t trust him.”

“I get why you believe that,” Alex’s voice comes from behind my brothers. They both turn to find him lingering at the threshold. “But I really do want to help.”

Xander and Hayden look between each other.

“Why?” Hayden asks.

“Whatever he has to say is probably a lie,” Xander mutters.

Alex doesn’t flinch. He squares his shoulders, the tension in his posture dissolving. I feel a flicker of pride watching him look so confident in front of my brothers.

“Because Rowan helped someone I love deeply when he didn’t need to. He trusted me and I want to honour that trust.”

Xander doesn’t look convinced, but we really don’t have time for this. Alex continues, “I know you both have no reason to trust me, but I wasn’t behind that raid at Summit and I’m not going to play you. If I do, you have every right to kill me.”

“What if we skip that part and I just kill you now?”

“Xander,” I grit out.

He scoffs. “This is ridiculous. Mum is going to kill you.”

“We can worry about that later,” I mutter. My eyes fall on Alex, and I reach out my hand. A faint smile dances on his lips, and he walks over to take it. We stand shoulder to shoulder, and I hope my brothers get the message. I’m not letting him go again.

“Oh, I get it.” Xander smiles, but there’s nothing friendly about it. “You know, for someone who said they are not fucking him, he looks pretty well-fucked to me, don’t you think Hayden?”

“Ignore him,” Hayden says, his voice even and polite, though his jaw ticks. He’s still unhappy, but he’ll get over it. They both will. “So, Detective Kimura, how can you help us?”

Alex clears his throat, gripping my hand tightly. “Does the name Professor J. Hawthorne mean anything to either of you?” He sounds exactly like what I imagine he would sound like when he’s questioning a suspect.

“Should it?” Hayden asks.

“She was the one who developed Haze or as she called it, ‘Modafryline,’” Alex begins.

“Marketed it as a mood-enhancing supplement. About a month ago, she died in a car accident—brake failure. It was ruled an accident, but it’s suspiciously convenient given she was sitting on a multi-million-dollar formula. ”

“Someone in The Snake,” Hayden ventures. “One of The Keepers?”

“Or someone working with The Snake,” Alex says. “It would take someone powerful enough to erase any trace of her research and control the supply.”

I can see Xander and Hayden’s minds working through the new information.

“There is also someone else—someone who wants to find out who it is, just like we do. I think they are the reason why Summit got raided,” Alex continues.

Hayden frowns. “You think someone in the police is involved?”

“Likely in Homicide,” Alex says. “Maybe they want the drug for themselves, or they want to make a high-profile arrest. I’m not sure.”

I lean back, piecing it together aloud. “So, we’ve got two players: the one making Haze and the one hunting them just like we are.”

Hayden nods. “Someone has been messaging Key’s burner for days. They’ve agreed to the Friday meet-up.”

“Where?”

“Greenwood Docks,” Hayden says. “Ten P.M.”

“It won’t be our guy, but they might point us in the right direction,” I say. “Alex, you’ll meet with him, but we’ll have people watching you. All you have to do is pretend to be Key’s friend. Tell him Key couldn’t make it.”

“What if he runs?”

“We catch him,” I say simply.

Three sets of eyes fall on me before Hayden nods. I know this is a risk and I don’t know what will happen after we find out who it is. The only thing I do know is that we can’t afford to have Haze in the streets, especially with the bodies piling up.

Hayden nods after a beat, his agreement unspoken. Xander, however, isn’t done. His gaze turns icy as it fixes on Alex.

“This better not be a trap,” he warns, his voice low and razor-sharp. “Or I’ll flay you alive.”

“Xan,” I say carefully, but he doesn’t look at me. He keeps his eyes trained on Alex.

To his credit, Alex doesn’t flinch under Xander’s gaze. He lifts his chin slightly and shrugs. “It’s not,” he says. “But I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Thank you, Xander,” I say pointedly, and my brother glares at Alex for a second longer before he beams at me. The switch would be terrifying if I wasn’t used to it.

“Great, see you both tomorrow then,” he says.

And it’s settled. Tomorrow we’ll know more. Tomorrow, we’ll end this.

Once Hayden and Xander leave, it’s just Alex and me again. He leans against the counter, a steaming mug of black coffee in hand. His dark eyes are trained on me, his mind visibly turning.

For a moment this morning, it was almost like we were a normal couple, existing in the afterglow of sex, but the reality of last night is slowly seeping in.

Surprisingly, I don’t feel any apprehension about it.

I feel like a kid who has finally gotten the toy he wanted all along for Christmas.

Not that Alex is a toy, but I sure love to play with him.

“You’re staring,” I say, taking a sip of my coffee.

“Am I?” he asks.

I’m staring too. It’s hard not to. The bruises on his neck, his smooth skin. I want to devour him all over again. Mark his entire body with my hands and mouth.

God, I need to calm down.

“What are you thinking?” I ask.

“Last night,” he says carefully, placing his mug on the counter. “I guess I’m just wondering where it leaves us.”

“Where do you want it to leave us?” I ask.

From the time I could think for myself, I’ve always known what I want.

There was never a single doubt as I relentlessly pursued becoming The Head of The Snake, following my mother wherever she’d let me follow, sitting in on meetings with The Keepers, collecting secrets and handing out favours and patiently sitting through my first serpent tattoo already envisioning the second one.

When I first met Alex, I convinced myself that I didn’t want him, even when it was embarrassingly obvious, even when I didn’t kill him for what he was about to do. I’m not that na?ve anymore.

“I told you what I want,” I say, stepping into his space. He doesn’t back away, only looks up at me with a curious look on his face.

“I still work for the OCU.”

“And?” I lift my eyebrow.

“You will be Head of The Snake.”

I shrug. “Sounds like a power couple to me.”

He laughs, shaking his head. “You’re ridiculous.”

I hold his cheek and kiss him, “And you’re mine,” I tell him, caught by surprise each time I say it because of how much I mean it. Alex is mine, and I’ll make sure it remains that way.