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“What color is your prom dress?”

Jodi closed her locker door to find Emily, standing too close. “It’s like an aquamarine thing,” she said noncommittally.

“Do you want to see mine?”

Jodi grimaced. “Sure.”

Emily showed her a picture on her phone. She was in front of a mirror, wearing a fluffy pink dress. Jodi stared at it.

“Is that… I think Paige wore that dress to homecoming last year.”

Emily nodded brightly. Jodi’s eyebrows jumped. She thought she was gently letting her know that she’d need to change her dress. But Emily had done it on purpose?

“Well, I’m sure it will look good on you,” Jodi said. She started to walk away.

“So there’s a limo?”

She stopped, turning back to Emily. There was a limo. But Jodi didn’t know how Emily knew.

Jodi stared at her. “I think… I think the limo is full, Emily.”

But Emily just smiled brightly. “Well, see you tomorrow night!” She tugged Jodi’s body into a firm hug that Jodi didn’t return. When Emily pulled back, her fingers traced down the side of Jodi’s face. “I can’t wait. You’re going to look so beautiful.”

Jodi swallowed. She should tell her. She should say, “Emily, you’re not coming in the limo.” But Jodi was always the one who had to go to movies with her. She was always going over to her house to study. Why did Jodi have to be the one to break her heart?

“I’ll see you at the dance, okay?”

Emily just grinned.

In the shower the next morning, Jodi scrubbed off the crusted gray paint, each patch a reminder of where Julian had put his hands. She took a rough rag and scraped until the flakes pried loose from her body. She washed the gel out of her hair and tried a bunch of self-care skin scrubs and facial masks—anything to keep her mind off the night before.

When a lazy knock broke over the front door, Jodi couldn’t be bothered to change out of her boxers and tee. She almost didn’t open it, but she knew she’d need to face Zack sooner or later. When the door swung open and Julian was there, leaning against the frame like he was getting paid to model those jeans, she swallowed and crossed her arms over her chest.

He shifted on his feet and said, “It was a shitty thing I did last night. And I’m sorry.”

Her heart plummeted. She felt the blood leave her face even as her neck heated. So Zack had been right. He had been using her. “Okay” was all she could manage.

“I shouldn’t have outed Zack like that,” he said. “What I should have done is forced him to tell you himself.”

Her pulse found its footing again. The “shitty thing” was telling her about Zack and Emily.

“How long have you known?”

“Since it happened.”

She pressed her lips together, anger and disgust rising in her throat. “And when was that?”

“End of spring break, I think.”

Jodi felt like a rock had lodged itself in her throat. Around April. Had Emily tried to kill herself afterward? She shook her head clear and refocused. “So he told you right after. Do Paige and Lucy know?”

He shook his head. “I really don’t think so. I mean, from what I know, he only told me.”

Jodi felt ill, so she moved onto the next awful thing to talk about.

“I don’t really get why you kissed me,” she said hesitantly.

“Yeah, me neither.”

“Great. Awesome.” She rolled her eyes and leaned on the back of the couch. “Let’s just forget about it forever then, I guess.”

“Sure.” He swallowed, looking like he would say more, but then shifted gears. “Anyway. It really bothered me when Zack said I was using you for your testimony. And I just wanted to explain it wasn’t true.”

“Yeah, okay.”

Jodi didn’t know what she expected. She hadn’t expected. Zack was supposed to be the one coming over to apologize first thing in the morning. Zack was supposed to be explaining himself. But instead, Julian Hollister had come over to make sure she was okay and that the air was clear between them.

And it was clear.

Crystal.

It was a kiss and it was over and that was that.

“You still have paint behind your ear,” he said.

She jerked and reached up.

“Wrong ear.” He grinned and stepped forward. His fingers held her jaw—just like they had last night—and his blunt nail tried to flake it off. Chills broke across her arms, and she forced herself to stay still so he wouldn’t see.

Crystal clear.

He looked down at her lips, and her heart stuttered a beat.

She swallowed. “Um, before you kiss me again—”

“Presumptuous.”

“—I need to know what you said to Emily that day.”

The humor left his eyes, and slowly, his fingers slipped off her skin. He tucked his hands into his pockets. “If I tell you,” he said, “I don’t think we’ll ever kiss again.”

Her skin prickled, and not the pleasant way this time.

“Tell me.”

He stepped back from her, and she felt the distance like a heavy wind.

“After Zack slept with her, I watched Emily. I tried to keep an eye on her, because if she felt like getting chatty with people about sleeping with Zack Thrasher… then Zack was going to have to make a choice. Come clean or deny it.” He looked off over her shoulder and clenched his jaw. “I wasn’t thinking back then about statutory rape or anything like that. I was thinking about the social consequences, how people would see him differently. He’d really fucked up, and everyone would know it.

“She got way weirder after spring break. I don’t know if anyone else picked up on it, but she was everywhere at once, in every conversation, at every hangout. I thought at first that Zack was inviting her to make her feel better about what happened between them, but when I told him to cut it out, he denied it. But she was relentless. It was like she thought that sleeping with Zack made her one of us.”

Jodi chewed on the inside of her cheek and said, “The journal the police have says she tried to kill herself. In April, right around spring break.”

Julian narrowed his eyes. “I don’t know anything about that. She did not seem ready to give up on anything during those months.”

Jodi nodded, and let him continue.

“I didn’t see it until closer to prom, but something shifted last spring. Her attention wasn’t on Zack anymore.” His eyes flitted over her face. “It was on you. Like you were the one she wanted to be with, or be like, or something.”

Opening her mouth to deny it, Jodi paused, remembering Mrs. Needlemeyer’s notes: Follow up about Jodi Dillon.

Said Jodi was the only person who cared about her in the entire world.

Despite the thoughts running in her mind, Jodi said, “That doesn’t make sense.”

Julian’s lips quirked. “Doesn’t it? Wasn’t she bothering you most out of everyone toward the end? You were the only one who gave her the time of day.”

“She—she was still in love with Zack. She talked about him with me all the time.”

He shrugged. “Maybe she knew that was what you wanted to talk about.”

Jodi scowled at him. “Get to the point.”

“When we started making plans for prom, I could see that Emily thought she was going with us. She was talking about matching dresses and corsages, where we were going to dinner. So, yes, I did tell her I’d get her a corsage like ours.”

Jodi’s breath caught. “Why did you do that?”

“Because I thought she was gonna tell everyone about sleeping with Zack. I didn’t do it to trick her. You can check with the florist—there was a spare corsage that was never picked up. I told her she could go get it herself when it was clear she wasn’t in the limo with us.”

“Is that what you texted her that day?”

He paused, and she felt her breath wobble on a string.

“That’s what I told the police the text said.” His jaw was tense, and his eyes slid off over her shoulder, like he’d prefer not to look at her.

Jodi swallowed. “But that’s not the truth,” she said.

“No. I told her that in person, the day before prom when I told her to stay away from you.”

She stared at him, and then a snort burst from her. “From me? What do you mean?”

He ran a hand through his hair. “I was going to make sure she knew she wasn’t in the limo. I didn’t want any more people claiming we Thrashed somebody just because she couldn’t take a fucking hint.” He blew out a breath. “She said, ‘Me and Jodi are going together, so I guess she won’t be in the limo, either.’ And the way she said it, Jodi… it was like you had talked about it, but I knew we were all going stag.”

She crossed and uncrossed her arms, trying to fight the unease in her chest.

“So I gave the truth to her. I said, ‘Jodi doesn’t like you. Zack doesn’t like you. Nobody likes you, Emily.’”

Jodi felt her chest contract. She remembered Emily’s words through Kiera at the rose garden. No one’s ever talking to me. Only about me. Isn’t that what you said?

“That’s cruel, Julian.”

“It wasn’t,” he bit out. “It’s what needed to be done. You and Zack go around making friends with anybody, and me and Lucy and Paige have to pick up the pieces. I’m always stuck doing the dirty work.”

Her throat was tight. You and Zack . Like she’d been in this position before.

“Did you cut Oliver out during freshman year?” she asked.

He blinked at her, then rolled his eyes. “Come on, Jodi. You cut him out. If you really wanted to keep hanging out with that asshole, you would have. We weren’t all going to be one happy family—”

“Okay, I got it,” she snapped. “So, you told Emily we hate her. And somehow you’re still innocent of instigating her suicide.”

He reared back. “I never said that,” he whispered. Jodi felt chills crest across her skin. “She doubled down. She said she was going to tell everyone about her and Zack. She wanted you to hate him and choose her.”

Jodi rubbed her eyes. “That’s… that’s so dumb, Julian. Are you sure that’s what she meant?”

“She said, ‘if I tell Jodi about me and Zack, maybe she’ll finally be free of him.’ It wasn’t that hard to interpret. Anyway, that’s when I told her to stay away from you, that you were officially off-limits to her. And I…”

Jodi glanced up at him as he trailed off. “What?”

He looked up at the ceiling. “I ‘laid hands on her.’ I think that’s what the DA called it.”

Her brows furrowed, trying to understand. “What does that mean?”

He swallowed. “I hardly remember it. I had her cornered. I got in her face, and I guess I ‘touched her in a threatening way.’” He used finger quotes. “It was after school on Friday. No one was around, I thought, but someone still saw us talking.”

“So were you ‘talking’ or were you ‘touching her in a threatening way’? Which is it?” Jodi’s eyes searched his face.

He paused, and she held her breath. He had a far-off expression on his face. “You know, immediately after, I thought to myself, is this how my dad feels?” He ran an agitated hand through his hair. A wry laugh burst from his chest. “Like, do I frustrate him this much that he just…”

Jodi’s throat clicked and her eyes stung.

He was still staring at something past her shoulder when he said, “I didn’t hit her. I wouldn’t. I didn’t shove her. I think I hit the locker we were standing in front of. I remember the rumble of the metal after, but I didn’t put my hands on her. Maybe it looked that way.”

“Who saw it?” Jodi asked.

“I don’t know. They didn’t say.”

“So you scared her? The day before prom?” Jodi’s heart was cracking.

Julian hummed. “That was the problem, Jodi. I didn’t scare her.” He shifted, and his eyes finally lifted to hers. “I met the real Emily Mills that day. She was fucking smiling at me. The whole time. No matter what I said or how much I invaded her space. And then…”

He cracked his neck and blew out a laugh.

“What?” she said.

“She asked me if I liked you.” He looked at her quickly. “And I didn’t, just to clarify. Still don’t, really.”

“Thanks,” she said drily. “Same to you.”

“But she got it in her head that I wanted you—which I didn’t—”

“So you’ve said.”

“And it really bugged me. She said it, and it didn’t land with me. But she was so fucking sure about it. So obnoxious. It really got to me.”

Jodi quirked a smile. “Is this how Emily Mills has been haunting you, Julian? She planted an idea in your head, and now you’re kissing me in the theater lab?”

His eyes flashed to her, serious and anxious, before crinkling to return the smile. “I guess so.”

Jodi refocused. “What did you text her?” she asked quietly.

He paused and rubbed his neck. “I just want you to know that I was trying to help you. I wanted her to see she was wrong and to back off.”

She felt her heart drop. “What is it?” she whispered.

“I collected everything.” He didn’t meet her eyes, and Jodi’s palms began to sweat. “Everything we’d said about her in private. Everything she didn’t know. It took me all night. I put it in a Google Drive and texted her the link.”

“What do you mean everything ?”

“Texts, Discord chats, DMs. Our group chats.”

Jodi’s head was reeling. “That was private.” Her voice was thin.

“She needed to know, Jodi—”

“She didn’t. She was harmless.”

“Harmless?” he scoffed. “She forged a journal to punish us from beyond the grave! Would you really think she was harmless if she had accused Zack last year?”

Fuming, Jodi said, “Show me the Google Drive. I want to see it.”

“I deleted it. I wiped the text from my phone and deleted the drive the second I saw the ambulances on her street.”

She felt her blood boiling. “You really don’t have any other copy? That’s not like you.”

His jaw tightened, and then he reached into his pocket for his keys. He began untwirling a flash drive off the loop. Jodi had always thought it was a Juul. When he extended it to her, she stared up at him.

“Here,” he said, when she didn’t take it.

She stretched her fingers out for it. “What you sent to Emily the day of prom is on here? You just carry it on you at all times?”

He nodded. “In case they got a warrant for my house.”

Staring down at the blue flash drive, she said, “And you’re just… giving it to me? What, no pleading with me not to show it to the police?”

Julian took a deep breath. “Just… do what you have to. I want this to be over.”

Jodi’s eyes snapped up to him. He looked so tired. Almost defeated.

“You heard from Fordham,” she whispered, guessing.

He swallowed and shifted his weight. “I’m rejected whether I’m innocent or not. The result of my trial won’t change that.”

Jodi was trying to think of what to say—to encourage him that there was life outside of Fordham and college, to promise she wouldn’t rat him out—but she couldn’t do either.

He turned to her front door, hand on the knob, before twisting back to her. His eyes were clear and fierce as he said, “I never wanted her to die. I wanted her to disappear.”

Jodi took in his earnest expression, the hope that she understood him. But he would never understand her . Or Emily.

“That’s the same thing to girls like us.”

His eyes darkened, like he would argue the point. But he just opened the door and stepped through.

Jodi waited for the engine of his truck to start before heading for the computer. She paced in front of the screen as it took eons to warm up, and then inserted the flash drive. She opened the solitary folder labeled Bio Homework and found hundreds of images. Screenshots of text conversations. Saved Snapchat videos. Downloaded Discord chats.

Her fingers were trembling as she opened a Snapchat video.

Lucy and Zack were in the Thrashers’ kitchen. His back was turned to the camera as he flipped pancakes in his pajamas. Lucy sidled up to him and stared at him with wide eyes and a vacant expression. She said, “You probably make the best pancakes out of anyone in the entire world,” in a dreamy voice.

Zack chuckled, still unaware he was being filmed. “It’s just Bisquick.”

“No but you’re, like… doing it so well,” Lucy said, widening her eyes and stepping closer to him. “I wish I could make pancakes as good as you.”

Zack turned to her curiously, then noticed the camera pointed at him. His face broke into a smile. “Are you being Emily?”

Lucy cackled. Jodi could hear Julian’s laugh as he filmed. The video ended on Zack beaming at the joke.

Jodi clicked out, going to some of the texts instead. The first one she clicked was from the group text the five of them had. She saw the date at the top: March 27, 2024.

Julian

are we still going to the lake on sat

Paige

im down

Zack

tight

Lucy

I swear to god zack if you invite emily I will throw her in the lake

maybe with weights tied to her ankles

Jodi

Jodi winced seeing her message. Julian could have cut it off after Lucy’s threat to get the point across, but he’d included her. She chose one of the other screenshots.

Paige

emily just asked me where im applying to college

why do i feel like shes about to get a jump start on her app to brown

Zack

probbly

Lucy

she is. shes going to follow you to class and kill your roommate and then lock you in your dorm so you can be together forever

Jodi

College Admission Essay / Emily Mills

I’ve known Paige Montgomery for only twenty minutes, but we are destined to share the same 8x8 box. Please admit me so I can continue clipping pieces of her hair. My extensions are almost ready.

Julian

Fuck

Paige

its too accurate help

Her stomach was churning. Jodi rubbed her brow. All she’d wanted was to make her friends laugh. She specifically remembered feeling almost proud when Julian had laughed. Now there was something twisting and tight in her chest.

Emily was never supposed to see this. Jodi had trusted that these four people would never share these messages. She ground her teeth, thinking of how Julian had betrayed their confidence.

The screenshots got worse for Jodi as the year went on. At one point, Jodi had documented an entire conversation between herself and Emily. They’d been talking about homework, but Emily kept changing the subject to sex, digging for information on each of their sex lives. Jodi had made Emily sound unhinged—and, in retrospect, that’s how it had felt. But she shouldn’t have told the others about it like that.

Another conversation from the beginning of May made her sweat.

Jodi

please please please please please please somebody be free tonight

emily just suckered me into hanging out

Julian

your own fault

Jodi

i know that

Lucy

Say you forgot your dad was in town

Jodi

SHE ALREADY MADE SURE HE WASNT

SHE IS A MASTER AT THIS

FUCKING FUCK AAAAAHHHHHHHHH

Julian

amateur

Zack

I have practice! sorry

Paige

what are your plans?

Jodi

i wanna see a movie so i don’t have to talk to her

Lucy

thats good

god its like a bad date youre tryna get out of

Jodi

fucking exactly

Paige

ill go to the movie IF AND ONLY IF you sit in the middle seat

i will tear her face off if i see her watching me watch the movie like last time

AND i get to pick the movie

Jodi

QUEEEEEEN BITCH thank you thank you thank you

Her head was spinning. She swallowed back the bile in her throat as she imagined Emily reading these texts—ones sent only weeks before her death. It was clear that Jodi didn’t want to spend time with her, that Jodi laughed at her behind her back, and that Jodi considered her a burden.

If what Julian said was true, if Emily did shift her focus onto her , then Jodi could only imagine how heartbreaking it was to read through this. To watch Snapchats and private TikToks either making fun of her or filming her without her knowledge, zooming in on her face, staring at Zack in adoration as that Police song about “I’ll be watching you” played in the background.

Jodi forced herself to look through it all. By the end, there were tears tracked down her cheeks, and her stomach was in knots.

Julian may have handed this over, but Jodi had no doubt that her own messages were the final straw for Emily.