Page 17

Jodi sat in the back seat of Bette’s car as it sped toward the hospital. She felt like she had whiplash. Everything happened so quickly.

Paige was praying under her breath, eyes squeezed shut in the passenger seat. Bette had turned the music off and just let the car be quiet.

Zack and Lucy suspected Julian had gotten a concussion early in the game. At one point in the fourth quarter, he didn’t come up for air. The coach dragged him from the pool and performed CPR until the paramedics arrived, but the ambulance took him without a pulse.

Paige snapped her head to Bette after five minutes of fervent silence and said, “When she said there was a new presence—a male presence—did she… Was that Julian?”

Bette shook her head, but her lips opened and closed like a bass fish.

“Was that why she couldn’t talk to us?” Tears flowed freely down her face. “Because he was dead and we didn’t know yet?”

Jodi blinked at the back of Paige’s headrest, hearing words but not understanding them.

Emily is very pleased about something.

Paige didn’t wait for the car to come to a full stop before jumping out in front of the emergency room. Bette went to park, and Jodi and Paige ran inside. Paige screamed for information from the front desk, while Jodi stood next to her in a fog. She barely registered a hand on her arm. A hug around her shoulders.

Zack and Lucy were at their sides.

“He started breathing in the ambulance—”

Zack’s hand was between her shoulder blades.

“They have a pulse, but that’s all they’ll say right now,” Lucy said.

Jodi looked down. Lucy’s brown fingers were interlaced with her own. Jodi’s left hand hung limply in her grasp.

“It’s okay,” Paige said, and she reached up and brushed Jodi’s cheeks. Jodi thought it was odd before she felt thumbs smearing wetness across her face. Was she crying?

“Ray and Nina were at the match,” Zack explained, though no one asked. “They’re already here in the family waiting area.”

They led Jodi and Paige to chairs in the corner of the front lobby. Lucy had a pack of Red Vines from the vending machine, and Jodi took one when offered, running her fingers over the spiral sides. They sat in silence, listening to the television in the corner. When Lucy asked how their appointment went, Paige’s eyes shot up to Jodi.

“Really good,” Paige jumped in. “I feel a lot better now.”

“Were you… able to talk to her or whatever?” Zack asked.

Smiling without her eyes, Paige said, “She let us know she’s happy, and that we have nothing to worry about.”

Jodi looked at her shoes. Her chest felt tight and her head was fuzzy. Paige wasn’t any safer than she’d been this morning, but how could she explain that? How could she tell Paige what Nan had said at the end?

“But she did say something weird about the rose garden in McKinley Park,” Paige continued. “I only remember going there with her once. But maybe we need to go there. Maybe… maybe we could all get some closure if the five of us went.”

Jodi stood, the phrase the five of us jarring hideously when they could possibly be a four after today. She shook out her numb hand and said, “I’m going to call my dad.”

Lucy slowly came to her feet. Her gaze was on Jodi, searching her with interest. “Do you want company?”

She tore her eyes away, hoping Lucy couldn’t read her every thought. “No, I’m good. Be right back.”

Jodi tucked herself into the smoker’s alcove outside, stepping over cigarette butts and pigeon crap. She pulled out Nan’s card and called. She picked up on the first ring.

“Hello?”

“It’s Jodi. Dillon. We just left.”

“Is he alive?”

The adrenaline that had been keeping Jodi running for the last half hour was abruptly sucked from her body as Nan confirmed a few things with just those three words. Jodi had to place a hand on a nearby pillar covered with stucco and take a deep breath. “You tell me.”

Nan sighed. “His presence disappeared soon after you left. Not like normal, like when the relative or friend leaves my office and they follow. But erased.”

“You—” Jodi’s throat caught—“You wouldn’t be able to tell if he was in a coma or anything, right?”

“No. Only if he’s passed on. Which he hasn’t.”

“Right. Was that what Emily was pleased about?”

Nan paused. “She indicated that you were safe. Which made her happy. Like I said, her primary focus was you and your well-being.”

Jodi shook her head and squeezed her eyes closed. “That doesn’t make sense. She was in love with Zack. Obsessed with him.”

“Well, Zack wasn’t visiting me. Maybe she focused on you because you were there, but you might have been more special to her than you know.” Nan’s voice was soft, as if she were giving comfort.

“But she thought I was safe with Julian dead,” Jodi pushed.

“That’s not something I can tell you for sure.”

Jodi stared at an ambulance turning into the medical bay. “Thank you, Nan. For everything. I may try to come again if I can get the money, but—”

“Don’t worry about the money. Just call me. And if you can figure out who ‘H’ is, I think they’d be interested in talking to you.”

Jodi swallowed and said goodbye. When she entered the automatic sliding doors, she saw her three friends staring at the television mounted in the corner of the room. A reporter was standing outside their high school, and flashing across the screen was A “THRASHER” HOSPITALIZED .

Rolling her eyes, Jodi moved toward the waiting room, stopping only when she heard her own name coming through the speakers.

“Only one of the so-called ‘Thrashers,’ Jodi Dillon, was not charged. The DA’s office wouldn’t confirm if Dillon had offered information in exchange for clearing her name, but did confirm that Dillon had been subpoenaed to testify against her group of friends. We’ll have more on the Emily Mills case later tonight…”

Jodi stood frozen on the edge of the carpet as three heads turned to her in slow motion. Zack’s mouth was open, and when his gaze landed on her, he closed it. She watched his jaw work. Lucy narrowed her eyes briefly before looking away. Paige looked back and forth between Jodi and the screen, the first to speak.

“Babe. Did you already know your charges were dropped?”

Jodi nodded. “They actually never sent paperwork. But, I—I just learned about the subpoena. I didn’t want to make anyone mad, so I—”

“Oh, we can’t be mad,” Paige said, smiling weakly at her. “It’s a subpoena. It’s not your choice.” But Lucy was staring out the window.

“Are you going to testify against us?” Zack’s voice was tight, confused.

“I don’t—I don’t want to, but they’ve summoned me. So I’ll have to.”

“What would you even say? What do they think you’ll know?”

“I have no idea,” Jodi said, dropping down to sit two chairs away from Lucy. “I don’t know anything, you’re right.”

“Yeah, it’s probably just routine or something,” Paige added brightly.

Zack took a deep breath and nodded, turning his attention back to the screen. Lucy didn’t say a word, her chin rested in her hand and her fingers over her lips.

A few hours later, after Aunt Bette, Julian’s water polo coach, and half his teammates had come and gone, the four of them were the only ones left in the lobby.

Mrs. Hollister broke their tense silence when she came out to tell them that Julian was awake but couldn’t have visitors. When they left the hospital piled in Lucy’s car, Jodi felt like there had been a fault line drawn. Maybe if she told them about the journal in the wall? Or the page she’d stolen from the guidance counselor’s notes. Maybe she could prove to them that she was still on their side. That she was trying .

Lucy turned toward Jodi’s house, and she realized she was getting dropped off first. Even though Paige was closest. She’d assumed they were going to one of their houses to hang out. But Lucy wouldn’t even meet her eyes in the rearview as she pulled up in front of her house.

Jodi waved her goodbyes, feeling like there was something she needed to say, or even hear from them. But all she got was a “see you at school.”

When she turned to go inside, she found Oliver Burns sitting on his front porch, smoking a joint and watching her.

“Is he alive?” he said.

She nodded.

“Pity.”

Sending him a quick glare, she walked over to him and gestured to his joint. “Care to share?”

He lifted a brow in surprise and offered it to her. She plopped down next to him on his patio sofa and brought the joint to her lips. She imagined the smoke traveling down into her lungs, spreading to her head, and clearing her troubles away.

“I’m shocked you even inhaled,” Oliver said, taking it back.

“I’m the only one not facing criminal charges.”

She stared at the small garden Oliver’s mom used to keep beautiful.

“That makes sense,” he said.

Turning to him, she narrowed her eyes. “It does?”

“Emily loved you. Her parents know it.” He sucked on the joint one last time before putting it out. “ And there’s no evidence against you, I’m sure.”

“Do you think there’s evidence against the rest of them then?”

Oliver took a deep breath and said glibly, “Without a doubt.”

“How would I not know about it?”

He stared at the cuticles on his right hand and said, “I’m positive there’s tons of stuff you don’t know about, Jodi. Conversations you’re not a part of. Things you aren’t invited to.”

Jodi’s stomach dropped. “What do you mean?”

He cracked his knuckles and said, “It’s probably best you don’t know, yeah? For your testimony?”

Shock battled with confusion and jealousy inside her. “You already saw the news?”

“Please,” he scoffed. “I’ve gotten fifteen messages about it already. The whole school knows by now.”

Pressing her eyes closed and leaning her elbows on her knees, Jodi tried to take deep breaths, wishing she hadn’t had a hit.

“It’s not like I… like I got a deal or something—”

“I know. But it’s you versus them now.” He stretched his legs out and smiled, winking at her. “It’s going to be carnage.”