Page 63 of The Runaway
It made sense. Connor had felt no sexual desire all through his time on the Riviere estate, too fearful of his masters and too nauseated by the punishments they meted out.
But Connor had seen Gabriel’s erection during their swimming lesson, though he’d tried to hide it beneath the water. And he’d felt it for a brief moment, when he’d slipped on a rock and collided with Gabriel’s lean, hard body.
“What about now?” Connor asked. For goodness sake, couldn’t he just stop talking? He had no right to be questioning an alpha’s sex life.
Gabriel didn’t reply. His shoulders were tense, and he kept his eyes steadfastly on the flames.
“What if someone wanted to have sex with you?” Connor pressed.
Gabriel glanced down at Connor’s cup, then swiftly took it away from him. “I think you’ve had enough to drink,” he said, by way of an explanation. Connor followed the cup with his eyes for a moment, feeling disappointed… but a moment later, he dismissed the issue. There was only a dribble left in the bottom anyway, and besides which, Gabriel was probably right. Connor wasn’t used to drinking and it would be as well to stop, though he wasn’t yet feeling dizzy or nauseous or any of the other symptoms he’d heard about alcohol causing.
“You didn’t answer the question,” he said, nudging Gabriel with his shoulder.
“This is not an appropriate conversation,” Gabriel said.
Connor thought about that, mildly perplexed that his brain seemed to be working slower than usual. “I disagree,” he said, with a touch of haughtiness. Gabriel had said, not half an hour ago, that Connor should be free to say no to his master. And now Gabriel wanted to end the conversation, but Connor didn’t.
“I don’t want to talk about my sex life,” Gabriel said, avoiding looking at Connor. He took a slow breath, in, then out. “Besides, I thought you of all people would think it was a good thing if an alpha decided to keep his distance.”
“With anyone else, I’d say it was,” Connor agreed. “But not with you.” Was he actually brave enough to say what he’d been wanting to say every day since his heat? What if Gabriel turned him down anyway?
Or what if Gabriel was just waiting for him to say it, because Gabriel couldn’t ask for it himself?
“I liked what you did during my heat,” Connor said, aware that his voice suddenly sounded thin and breathless. That wasn’t the impression he was wanting to give here. “And I’d like it if we could do it again.” There was no response. “I want you to touch me.”
“That’s the alcohol talking,” Gabriel said, sounding frustratingly calm.
“No, it isn’t,” Connor insisted. “I wanted to last night, and the night before, but I just couldn’t work up the courage to say so.”
“I should never have given you any wine.”
“Ilikeyou,” Connor said, leaning into Gabriel’s shoulder again. “But you just keep avoiding me and I don’t know why.”
“Because you’ve been abused by far too many people, and the last thing in the world I want to do is join that list. I can’t ask you to doanything-”
“You’re not asking me. I’m asking you.”
If Gabriel said no again, Connor was going to drop the subject. Already, his intrepid mood was wearing off, leaving him feeling uneasy. In another half an hour, he’d probably be dying of embarrassment, and that was without digging this hole any deeper.
For a long, weighty moment, Gabriel said nothing. His hands were clenched into fists and Connor saw a fine tremor run through his body. He turned to face Connor, a look of stark longing on his face the likes of which Connor had never seen before. “God, Connor, I… Do you honestly want me?”
Connor nodded. “Yeah,” he just about managed to say, his throat feeling tight. His whole body was thrumming with need, along with the fear of being rejected.
“But what if…” Gabriel picked up one of Connor’s hands, running his thumb over the knuckles. “What if I hurt you?”
“If I think that’s going to happen, then I’ll tell you to stop.”
Gabriel frowned at him. “Would you really?”
Connor snorted. “Hell, yes. You’re the only alpha who’s ever listened when I said stop. That’s the only reason I’m asking you in the first place.”
A frown creased Gabriel’s forehead. “You are the most astonishing person I’ve ever met.”
Connor appreciated the compliment, but at the same time, he was getting bored with all the talk. A dim part of his mind reflected that perhaps he had had a bit too much wine after all.
But another part of him was very glad about that little detail. If he hadn’t, he’d likely never have found the courage to say anything at all. He put his hand on Gabriel’s thigh, feeling a flurry of satisfaction as the muscle beneath his hand tensed. He looked up into Gabriel’s eyes. “Can I kiss you?”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN