Page 42 of The Runaway

“Are you all right?”

Connor took another deep breath, feeling the musky scent of an alpha soothe him. Odd. Normally, alphas made him feel tense and fearful. He nodded. “Yeah, I’m… I’m okay.” He looked around the room, noting that the bed was dishevelled and there was a wet puddle on the floor. An upturned water jug explained the story behind that one. “What happened?”

“You had a panic attack,” Gabriel said, easing back from him.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Gabriel said. “It’s okay. I get them as well. I know what it’s like.”

“You? But you’re an alpha!”

Gabriel shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. Life does its best to knock us all around now and then, no matter what gender we are.” He paused, then ran a hand over his short hair. “Do you want to talk about it?”

No, he didn’t. “I was back in my first master’s house,” he said, despite his intention to say nothing. “The first time he mated with me. He just shoved it straight in and did his thing and walked away afterwards.”

Gabriel muttered a soft curse. “I’m sorry. I know this is rough on you. I know you don’t want to be mated.”

Oh, fuck. That’s right. He was in heat. Connor felt a wave of fear rise again, but he managed to control it this time. But Gabriel wasn’t like his other masters. He was gentle and patient and he treated Connor like a person, not a thing. He winced as a cramp tugged at his belly. “We need to mate,” he said, ashamed of the way his voice sounded so defeated.

“What can I do? How can I make this better for you?” Gabriel asked.

“I just want…” He fell forward, leaning his head against Gabriel’s shoulder. “I don’t want to feel like an object that someone else gets to use.”

Gabriel stroked his hair, and Connor shivered. But not in disgust this time. The sensation was nice, like when one of the farm cats curled up beside him and nuzzled his leg. “Can you hold me?” he asked, feeling like an idiot. Alphas didn’t hug omegas, or hold them close, or make them feel wanted…

Gabriel is not like them, a stray voice in his head reminded him. Gabriel did things that alphas were never supposed to do. Connor felt strong arms wrap around his shoulders, holding him tight. “What can I do?”

“We need to have sex,” Connor said, the words muffled against Gabriel’s shoulder. He could feel the cramps getting stronger, and soon, if he didn’t get mated, he’d be in significant pain. “But can we… Can we do it like this? With your arms around me? I want to look at you…” He was following blind instinct, chasing that feeling of safety and security, though he didn’t know quite where it would lead.

“Absolutely,” Gabriel agreed. “Let me just… Here, just sit up for a moment.” Connor did, feeling bereft as Gabriel pulled away. But he wasn’t leaving. Instead, he rearranged the pillows, setting them to rest up against the headboard of the bed. Gabriel sat back against them, then tugged Connor over into his lap. He went willingly, feeling entirely wrung out. Gabriel nudged Connor’s leg to get him to straddle his lap again, and Connor braced himself for the feel of a hard cock against him… but there was a sheet between them, dulling the sensation. He could still feel the bulge of Gabriel’s erection through the sheet, but it was more distant somehow.

Gabriel pulled him into another hug, running his hands up and down Connor’s back in soothing strokes. “Is this okay? Is this what you wanted?”

Connor nodded. He couldn’t quite find the courage to look up into Gabriel’s eyes, but he felt calmer now. He felt a gentle hand land on his belly. “How are you feeling?”

“Not great,” he said, wincing again. “Stiff and achy.”

Gabriel’s hands roamed down over his thighs, then back up to cup his buttocks. “We need to try this again,” he said, though he sounded apologetic about it. The news was unwelcome, but Gabriel’s reluctance helped. He wasn’t feeling rushed, then. He was willing to wait.

Connor’s body, however, had other ideas. The cramp in his belly kicked up a notch, sending a sharp stab of pain through him. He groaned, shifting his body to try and ease the pain.

“Connor. Look at me.” Gabriel tilted his chin up. “We’re running out of time. I’m right here with you. I’m not going to hurt you. I don’t want you to push yourself, but if we don’t figure this out, it’s going to get worse for you. I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do about that.”

“Yeah,” Connor agreed. “I know.” He rubbed a hand over his eyes, taking a long, slow breath to calm himself. Then he rose up on his knees and slowly tugged the sheet away from between them. Gabriel’s cock sprang up to rub against his own. It felt nice, in a way, at the same time as making him want to shy away from it.Gabriel isn’t like the others, he reminded himself.He’s not going to hurt you.

Putting what little courage he had to good use, Connor rose up onto his knees, shuffling forward a fraction and rearranging Gabriel’s erection beneath him.Take it slow, he told himself.This doesn’t have to hurt.

His heart rate had sped up, though he couldn’t tell whether it was from fear or anticipation. But the very idea that he could be looking at this with any sort of eagerness was so strange that it broke through his fear, interrupting his dark thoughts. Earlier on, Gabriel had put his mouth on Connor’s cock and licked at him so gently… and it had feltsublime. He’d never felt pleasure like that before. So perhaps, if he was careful, he might be able to feel something a bit like that again?

That quiet voice in the back of his mind perked up at that.Alpha. Pleasure. More.Stupid voice didn’t know what it was talking about. But nonetheless, Connor embraced what it was saying. He reached down, carefully lining Gabriel’s body up with his own.

“Take is slowly,” Gabriel cautioned him, putting his hands on Connor’s hips to steady him.

Connor nodded, then he pressed backwards, feeling the head of Gabriel’s cock press against his entrance.Just like a cat’s claws kneading my leg, he told himself.Little pricks of pain, but still so cute and warm. He let gravity do the work, easing off the tension in his legs. His hands tightened on Gabriel’s shoulders as he felt the head slip inside, but he made himself relax again.Just like removing a splinter. It hurts at first, but you’ll feel better afterwards.He pressed downwards again, feeling himself stretch. His hands tightened again, his gut rolling in disgust. Gabriel could make all the promises in the world, but this was still going to feel like his body was being invaded by a giant parasite.

“Easy, easy. Take it slow,” Gabriel said again, holding Connor back gently.

Connor slowed, taking a deep breath. He pressed back again, more gently this time, feeling his body give way in small, fluttering spasms. The oil on Gabriel’s cock eased the way, and he experienced an unexpected trickle of desire as he felt the slickness against his ass. Gabriel wasn’t trying to hurt him. This was a necessary evil, a way to stop Connor from being in pain, and he felt a wave of gratitude, even as his mind revolted against the feeling of being used like a cheap toy. A slow cramp rolled through his belly, and he pressed back harder, knowing that he needed a knot inside him. Gabriel was helping him, not forcing him to do this. No, nature herself had forced this on him, and Gabriel was not to blame.