Page 54 of The Runaway
“You don’t think he’s run away again, do you?” Cirroc asked.
“An omega was murdered on the estate next door, and no one here had the balls to do anything about it. God knows what’s going through the poor kid’s mind.” Gabriel set off, marching towards the house. Inside, he found Carolyn sweeping the foyer floor. “Where’s Antoine?” he snapped, not caring that he was being rude.
“In the parlour. He was helping Lucas with his-”
Gabriel didn’t wait for her to finish her sentence. He strode off, throwing open the door to the parlour and startling both Antoine and Lucas. They were sitting at a desk near the window, Lucas peering at a book while Antoine looked over his shoulder. “When was the last time you saw Connor?” Gabriel asked, without preamble.
Antoine stared at him blankly for a moment. “I don’t recall seeing him at all today,” he said eventually.
“He was in the stable just after lunch,” Lucas said. “I saw him playing with one of the cats. But I haven’t seen him since.”
“What’s the problem?” Antoine asked.
“He’s missing. None of the omegas know where he is, and Cirroc hasn’t given him any specific orders outside his normal duties.” Though Cirroc hasn’t said as much directly, he would hardly be looking for the lad if he’d sent him off down to the orchard or the pigsty.
Antoine’s face turned pale. “Oh, God. Do you think that what happened with Avril set him off? I should have thought of that,” he added, not waiting for Gabriel to answer. “Shit, I didn’t… I hadn’t even thought about how this would affect Connor. He’s probably having a nervous breakdown somewhere.”
The only thing stopping Gabriel from railing at Antoine all over again regarding his handling of Avril’s situation was the fact that he himself hadn’t spared a thought for Connor all afternoon, either. He’d been too busy wallowing in guilt and anger about sending Avril back with Philippe. God, what a blind idiot he was.
“We need to find him,” Antoine announced. “Cirroc, where have you looked already?”
“He’s not in the stable, the omegas’ quarters, the kitchen, the washroom or the main house. I can get someone to check each of the cottages, but I honestly don’t think he’d go in there. That basically leaves the storerooms or…” He shrugged, running out of ideas.
“Gabriel?” Antoine turned to him. “You seem to have a better handle on Connor than the rest of us. Where do you think he would go?”
Why the hell did everyone think that Gabriel would somehow magically know where Connor was? He rubbed a hand over his face, trying to think what he would do, where he would go, if he was a terrified omega. Connor would be feeling alone, helpless, possibly betrayed. He wouldn’t likely leave the estate, knowing how dangerous the outside world could be, but if he wanted to hide somewhere that no one was likely to find him…
“I think I know where he is,” Gabriel said. “Give me a few minutes. If I’m right, then I’m sure he doesn’t need a dozen people all breathing down his neck at the moment.”
“Let us know if you can’t find him,” Antoine said. “We’ll need to do a thorough search if that’s the case. I don’t want to risk anything happening to him.”
Gabriel nodded. “I’ll come straight back if I can’t find him. But if he’s where I think he is, it might take a while to talk him down.”
Antoine nodded, and Gabriel let himself out of the room, heading straight for the barn. Inside, he swiftly climbed the ladder into the hay loft. It was far emptier now than it had been the last time he’d come here to sleep, just a few bales left in one corner of the wide space. But if anything, that made it even less likely that anyone would come here to look for a missing person. There would be no reason for anyone to be up here until they started mowing the paddocks again in late summer.
He glanced around at the rest of the bare space, finding it clean and empty. So he headed for the bales in the corner. He walked loudly, so that if Connor was actually here, he’d have plenty of warning that he was about to be interrupted. Gabriel peered between the bales, seeing a worn boot peeking out into the gap. A shaft of relief speared through him. Thank God he hadn’t run away.
“Connor?”
The boot was tugged sharply out of sight. Gabriel heard a faint sniffling sound. Fuck. Okay, so he’d been right about where Connor was, but it was clear the lad was in a bad way. And given that his ‘safe’ haven had suddenly become complicit in a murder, it was hardly a surprise.
“Connor?” he said again, sitting down on the floor. It was all so similar to the first time they’d met, with Connor hiding behind the crates of apples in the stable and Gabriel futilely trying to coax him out.
This time, though, Gabriel had a far clearer perspective of Connor’s view of the world. Now, they had a shared history of imposed intimacy, rescuer and rescue-ee twice, maybe three times over. Now, they both understood how very broken each other was, and that modern society had no easy answers to its ills.
Gabriel sighed. He wasn’t about to drag Connor out of his hiding place, but at the same time, one way or another, he was going to have to find a way to get him to come out. He couldn’t stay in there forever. “You heard about what happened to Chloe?”
He heard a choked sob, then a faint moan.
“I’m sorry, Connor,” he said, deciding to go with the harsh truth. “I wanted to do more to help Avril, but… Antoine wanted to send her back” – was it wrong to lay blame on Antoine here? – “and I… I didn’t know what else I could do. It’s not good enough. And I’m sorry. Antoine’s got some plan to try and cripple the Martin estate financially by getting a lot of the neighbours to refuse to do business with them. It doesn’t do anything for Chloe, but long term, it might get them to start changing their behaviour. And I just wanted to say that… maybe we’ve let you down. But we’d never let anyone hurt you. It’s breaking my heart that I can’t save everyone, and I wish I could, but you have nothing to fear. I willalwaysstand up for you, no matter what else is going on.” He ran out of words and just sat in silence, hoping that Connor would say something, would give him some clue as to what to do next. Could he move closer? Should he say something else? Even if Connor decided to hurl accusations at him over his failure to do anything useful, that would be better than silence.
A sudden scuffling sound had Gabriel tensing, and then Connor slid out from behind the bale of hay. His eyes were red and puffy, his lower lip quivering. There was a cat cradled in his arms – one of the black kittens from the look of it – and Connor set it gently on the floor. It let out a loud meow, rubbed its face against Connor’s leg, then scuttled off towards the ladder.
Connor looked at Gabriel sitting on the floor, a look of abject misery on Connor’s face. Gabriel thought for a moment that he was going to get up and leave, perhaps cursing Gabriel as he went. But instead, he slid across the floor, flinging himself clumsily into Gabriel’s arms. And then Connor simply clung to him, face buried in his shoulder, arms clamped tightly around his waist, while he sobbed into his shirt.
Gabriel sat perfectly still, without attempting to move or stand up. He simply sat with his arms around Connor’s shoulders, rubbing his back gently and letting him cry. Whatever pain had resurfaced here ran far deeper than anything Gabriel could ease, and so he simply waited, until either the storm blew itself out or Connor gave him some clue as to how to help. He closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of him, savouring the feel of Connor’s warm body against his own. It had been far too long since he’d been allowed to hold this man, with his current desires having nothing to do with sex or lust. It was simply like returning home after a long trip away, comfortable and familiar, in a way that he couldn’t quite explain.
At length, Connor’s shaking subsided and his sobs evened out to slower breaths. Gabriel pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket – thankfully it was clean – and handed it to Connor, who noisily blew his nose. He took a shaky breath, though he didn’t move out of Gabriel’s arms.