Page 52

New York City, December 2015

After the funeral was over with, numbness set in for Jacqueline.

Her children had evolved into very independent beings, which they confirmed to her when they recounted the way that an ex-classmate of Asher’s had been responsible for the stress that William Carter Jr.

was facing and how they had handled it on their own, without her.

She was uninterested in the details.

She now found herself with increasing amounts of spare time.

Not that she was that closely involved with wifely and parenting duties to begin with, but certainly there was less to do now.

Asher had graduated from Harvard Business School, and Kennedy was taking some time off from school and had moved back in with Jacqueline.

Jacqueline busied herself in the expected ways.

She decorated and redecorated their homes.

The main residence on Fifth Avenue was starting to look like a museum, overstuffed with priceless antiques, populated by useless artifacts that were more William’s style anyway.

In a major real estate coup years before, the Carters had secured a unit at 834 Fifth Avenue.

The property was home to only twenty-five units, a blend of triplexes and duplexes that all had their own design signature, so no two apartments were alike.

This in itself was a statement.

Jacqueline had worked closely with a design team customizing the space when they had first moved in, but now it was time to make it her own, and she was far less concerned about having to impress William’s colleagues.

Her tastes had developed considerably over the years, and she was proud, and so she took her time creating a new decor, selecting the art that she liked, the furniture that she thought was comfortable, and the color schemes that appealed most to her.

With William gone, Jacqueline found herself rethinking her relationships, including the strategic friendships he’d encouraged her to make with women and men who were better suited to advancing his business interests.

Sure, they ended up enriching her life as well in some ways, but did they really have any common interests outside of their lust for status? And then there were the obligatory relationships she’d maintained for the sake of her children’s lives, children who were now adults.

Jacqueline was slowly realizing that it was time for her to call the shots on who she would associate with during her second-act years because now ...

well, she was free.

Kennedy was staying with Jacqueline in the Fifth Avenue apartment, and she had also spent time remaking her room into something more becoming of a woman in her twenties.

Occasionally, they would have dinner together, which both of them genuinely wanted to do, the two women chattering away for hours about this movie, or that TV show, and which actor was at the top of their game, and which director was making interesting cinematic choices.

Jacqueline was slightly inclined to try to connect with Asher as well, though she had to admit that she wouldn’t be heartbroken if her son chose to live in a faraway place like London or Hong Kong.

Jacqueline was not interested in becoming lost in a maternal fantasy.

She saw so much greed and selfishness in her son, and after all her years with William and seeing how he’d died, such obsessions mattered increasingly little to her.

Some days after the funeral, Jacqueline sat in her home theater, complete with eight plush recliner chairs trained at a projector screen, watching Diana Ross in Mahogany .

Jacqueline had felt Kennedy’s presence before she saw her, and sure enough, Kennedy was hovering meekly in the doorway, just like when she was a girl.

“Well, you might as well come in,”

Jacqueline called to her. Kennedy answered by tiptoeing into the room and taking the chair next to her mother. They watched the rest of the film in silence, each taking in the glamorous narrative about how much a Black woman must often give up to reach her dreams. When the film was over, Jacqueline used another remote to brighten the dimmed lights in the room. Kennedy squinted at the change.

Jacqueline stretched her arms over her head. Kennedy did the same. They laughed at their own accidental synchronicity.

“I love that movie,”

Kennedy said. “Good memories. You always used to watch it when I was a kid.”

“You remember that?”

Jacqueline said, touched and surprised.

Kennedy smiled. “Yeah, Mom. I remember.”

They both fell quiet. It wasn’t exactly a comfortable silence, but it wasn’t painful either. That’s how most things were in their home. Jacqueline regarded her daughter, the only real Carter heir, and tried to see if she could find William in there. Ironically, he was more present in Asher than anyone else.

“What are you looking at me like that for?”

Kennedy asked with a nervous laugh.

They had been trying to talk more, to bond. Jacqueline smiled. “I’m looking for your dad, actually,” she said.

Kennedy perked up. “What about him?”

she asked.

“I’m just looking for signs of him. What of him you got. That’s all,” she said.

“I’m not really sure I got any parts,”

Kennedy said, looking at the credits rolling on the screen.

“Oh, you definitely did,”

Jacqueline replied. “The thing about your dad was that he worked so hard. He was so smart and driven, and nothing could stop him. That’s you, though your tenacity serves your art.”

With that, Jacqueline gestured to the home theater screen.

Kennedy nodded. This much she must have known.

“But at the same time, I think he really struggled,”

Jacqueline continued. “It was hard for him to have his own father working at his fancy boarding school. I told you that. All those kids always being little shits. I think he felt really embarrassed and judged. You know how it is to be a young kid.”

“I know,”

Kennedy said.

“And I think that embarrassment made him sad. I think he wanted to never have you feel that. He didn’t want to feel that anymore himself, and he just—he ran from it his whole life. It’s funny, he didn’t want to become his father, but from what I learned about your grandfather, maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing to be.”

“I didn’t want to be like Dad either,”

Kennedy said in a small voice.

Jacqueline did a double take. She raised her eyebrows. “Oh?”

she asked, waiting for Kennedy to elaborate.

“I tried to make things right. I know I can’t fix everything, but I couldn’t stop thinking about what Ernest had said to us about the business in Ghana. I made the request to explore a suspension of the insurance policies in the Accra residences, and I went back to visit Ernest after that meeting with Asher and gave him money to provide funds to families harmed by accidents in the Carter Corporation’s history. We made our money; there’s no need to continue gouging people who have nothing. But I’m sure Dad would have considered that weak.”

“That’s not weak, Kennedy. It’s very generous. I think maybe it’s time we all start thinking more about what we want now that our boss is permanently retired,”

Jacqueline said, reaching out to pat her daughter’s knee. “The way your father did things does not have to be the way that you do things. His ways were very old-school, and perhaps it’s best they die with him.”

Kennedy nodded, taking a deep breath as tears filled her eyes. She seemed satisfied with her confession, and it inspired Jacqueline to make a confession of her own.

“You know, I think I’m going to start acting again,”

she said to her daughter. “I’ve signed up to do community theater work in the East Village.”

“You should!”

Kennedy said, looking at her mother with a humongous smile. “Oh Mom, you’ll be awesome. You’ve gotta let me film you.”

Jacqueline nodded, and feeling especially generous toward her daughter, she said, “I made the mistake of not talking—I mean, really talking—to your father for a very long time.

I let there be too many secrets between us, and I didn’t allow you and Asher to have the freedom to choose who you wanted to be and what relationship you wanted to have with the Carter legacy.

You need to be able to do what you want.”

Kennedy’s face registered surprise, and Jacqueline felt a nakedness that she had felt only when performing a role for the first time, when all the rehearsals and table reads and costume fittings were done, and all that was left was a trust that muscle memory would activate and everything would go according to plan.

She felt a similar way letting go with Kennedy, and she wasn’t apologizing for the past but was laying more groundwork for honesty.

She granted her daughter the privilege of seeing her as she was, a flawed woman.

She watched Kennedy shift from shock to understanding.

It seemed like she was finally on her own path.

She had a steely look in her eyes, decisive, a look Jacqueline had rarely seen in her too-sensitive daughter.

A new type of Kennedy.

William’s tenacity indeed, finally expressed in his only biological child.

“I’m glad you’re being honest with me,”

Kennedy finally said. “And I want to be honest with you too. I don’t know how much of this ‘job’ I can do.”

Only the right corner of Jacqueline’s mouth lifted.

She knew this already.

She’d heard from Jermaine that in addition to trying to help Ernest, Kennedy was also forming a special in-house corporate unit to initiate far-reaching reforms in Carter Corporation policies, but she did not want day-to-day duties at the company.

Jacqueline suspected that the family business MO of profit at all costs was about to change, that Kennedy would be far more concerned with making sure employees and tenants were treated as humanely as possible than securing another billion.

Time would tell.

“So don’t,”

Jacqueline said affirmatively.

“It’s just that—”

Kennedy paused. “Well, I’m not sure Asher is the best person to do it either. I mean, he’s maybe more like Dad than me, and maybe that’s not the best ...”

Kennedy’s voice trailed off as she looked down, embarrassed.

“Well, since we are doing this truth thing, I won’t lie to you,”

Jacqueline said. “I imagine that your brother will put up a huge fight if he sees that any of these new policies are going to affect the company’s bottom line, and I mean this: I don’t want you both headed for a nasty showdown. I want to stay out of it, but between you and me, that company could never make another dime and all of us would still be fine, maybe even better off.”

Jacqueline said this knowing that she would hold on to her newly found peace and freedom at all costs.

Kennedy smiled, and her eyes crinkled. “Wow, Mom, are you sure you want to do this acting thing for real? Can I hire you as a consultant instead?”

Jacqueline chuckled. “Ah, no thank you, darling. I am far too expensive, but I will give you something on the house: I’ll keep an eye on Asher for you.”

“Deal,”

Kennedy said gratefully and stuck out her hand for a shake.

Jacqueline didn’t know what kind of leader Asher would turn out to be, and as hands-off as she wanted to remain, she also wanted to prevent the absolute corruption of what was left of her son.

If Asher stepped too far out of line, she would most certainly bring up the matter of his genealogy and how that might be the last thing he’d want out there if he wanted to remain a public Carter.

Jacqueline was sitting on the nuclear codes and was prepared to use them if she felt it might save him.

She could play the game as well.

William would be proud.

As she looked at Kennedy, she smiled, suddenly feeling energized. She had planned to turn in but instead cocked her head toward the screen. No time like the present to start something new, indeed.

“You know, I’m in the mood for another movie. Will you join me? Pick a genre,”

she said, handing her daughter the remote. “Really, whatever you want, Kennedy. You can choose.”