Page 23 of The Rogue (Four Corners Ranch #11)

Rue wanted to go out tonight. He couldn’t get the manic light in her eyes out of his head. The way she’d looked at him and

then... declared she wanted to go out.

Well, much like the polar plunge, he’d be there for that too. And then he had gone off to do some farm chores to try and work

the tension out of his system because he was still trying to ignore the thought process that had been dogging him ever since.

Which was how he found himself in the brew works with Bix, Daughtry, Landry and Denver trying to focus on the task at hand,

and failing miserably.

“Have you figured out what to do about Rue’s house?” Bix asked. “We didn’t talk about that the other night.”

“You didn’t?” he asked.

“No, I felt like it was insensitive. We could only talk about one catastrophe at a time.”

He was still angry about this, and the anger about it was much easier to deal with than all the other feelings rolling around

inside him. That was for damn sure.

So in the moment, he’d embrace the rage.

He wanted to find her parents and he wanted to...

He wanted to figure out if there was a way he could send them to prison.

Poor Rue. She’d earned the perfect life she’d had only a few days ago, the life that was gone now.

Was it all that perfect if her sex life was shit?

Well, he didn’t need to go thinking about that.

“Yeah, it’s unbelievable,” Justice said.

“Poor Rue,” said Bix. “Although, there are worse things than being taken in by one of you.”

Daughtry looked at her sideways and smiled. “I’m not sure this is the kind of life Rue had in mind.”

“Definitely not,” he said.

“Well, at least she has you,” Denver pointed out.

“Yeah. Great. I’m a great help. Except I can’t fix any of it. She did everything right. I do nothing but bullshit, and here

I am with a ranch and without a canceled wedding.”

“In fairness, you weren’t engaged,” Denver pointed out.

“Or your wedding would definitely be canceled,” said Landry.

“Oh shut up,” he said. “Whatever. I’m taking her out tonight. I need to get her mind off of it.”

Bix looked at him. “Sounds to me like you need to get your mind off of it.”

“I already told you, sis,” he said to her. “I don’t want your husband to arrest me.”

“That is fair,” said Bix. “I don’t want him to arrest me either. And it is often the only thing that keeps me on the straight

and narrow.”

She looked very grave when she said it, and in spite of everything, it made him laugh.

“So, you told Rue that she needs to live like you.” Daughtry asked, “Does that include anonymous hookups?”

That hit Justice square in the chest. It offended him. Horrified him.

“Absolutely not,” he said. “That is not what I meant.”

“Well. It is what you said,” Daughtry pointed out.

“I think it’s fairly obvious that what I meant was she should take a night off and do a little bit of drinking. A little less

thinking. Get up late the next morning. She isn’t running the shop right now, so she might as well. Might as well take a vacation

from trying so hard. That’s all I meant.”

“Does she know that?” Daughtry asked.

“She wouldn’t do that anyway,” said Justice. “It’s not in her nature.”

“When your whole world is destabilized, your nature may get shaken up along with it,” said Bix, her tone overly sage.

“If I wanted notes from van life I would’ve asked,” said Justice.

“And if we wanted philosophy from a drunken man-whore we would’ve asked,” said Daughtry. “In all seriousness, I am sorry.

I realize that it was so important to you that she... have this.”

It was. Because if Rue couldn’t get what she deserved, then who the hell could?

“Whatever. If you guys want to head out to Smokey’s tonight with us, you’re welcome to. Otherwise we’ll give you the highlight

reel tomorrow.”

“We’ll let you manage her. She probably wants a break from having a bunch of people around her to feel sorry for her.”

Bix spoke with authority. And he had a feeling that Bix was familiar with pity. Being that she had been an overly poorly creature

when Daughtry had found her.

“I’ll let you know how it goes.”

But he couldn’t get what Daughtry had said out of his head. And it haunted him the whole rest of the day.

It was cold outside. The waning winter season was making it difficult to figure out what she was supposed to wear to a bar.

She could recall that there were definitely kinds of women who seemed to just throw a big coat on over a very small dress

and call it good, even when you could see your breath outside.

She rooted through her suitcase, and came up with a very short blue dress that came to her midthigh, and had long sleeves

and a scoop neck. She had worn it one time to a military social event with Asher, but never in Pyrite Falls or Mapleton, because

people knew her here, and she didn’t know how she felt about people who knew her all that well seeing that much of her boobs.

But they were going out to... be wild?

She’d been sitting in this for a week, and for the past few days wrapped in the cocoon of King’s Crest, so it had been easy

enough to pretend that the only crisis was the wedding that wasn’t. And then it had been easy to pretend she was just on a

quest to do new things.

But something about last night, and the wild impulse she’d had to turn to Justice and...

It was all caving in on her right now.

All of it. And with that, came rage.

She had done everything right. She hadn’t been like her parents. She wasn’t even like Justice. Who she thought was a good

person, honestly—it was just that he didn’t... he didn’t behave. And she did. She was so good. She was so... disciplined.

Her entire life was in order, and through no fault of her own it was now in utter shambles.

She had tried . She had tried so hard and what had it had gotten her?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

And here she was, trying to deal with the fallout of nearly being left at the altar, being basically told she wasn’t sexually

appealing and losing her house.

It was too much to bear and she needed to do something .

What is it you want?

To stop thinking so damned much.

She put on red lipstick, thicker eyeliner than usual. She fluffed her hair up until she didn’t fully recognize the woman that

was looking back at her in the mirror. This woman might understand how you could go a little bit crazy over sex. This woman

might make a man go crazy over sex.

Maybe this woman could cut loose and not try to choreograph everything.

Except this woman was still Rue.

Except then she felt her confidence crumple, because she wasn’t that woman. It was some other woman. A woman she had never

seen before. A woman she didn’t know or understand.

She had turned her fiancé into a man she didn’t recognize. Into a stranger.

The firm knock on the bedroom door startled her.

“Come in.”

Justice pushed the door open, and froze. He looked her over, slowly, and she felt her face getting warm.

“What? You act like you’ve never seen me in a dress before.”

“I haven’t seen you in one like that.”

And she realized that Justice King had just checked her out. His eyes flickered downward, looked at her breasts, then down

her legs. Justice had seen more women naked than maybe any man she had ever known, and he had just looked twice at her body.

So either he wasn’t discerning, which was definitely one way to look at it, or she looked really good.

Really good.

The thought that he might have looked and seen her as attractive made her feel warm in a way she knew it shouldn’t.

“Do I look okay?”

“What kind of question is that?”

“It’s just that you looked .”

“I’m looking at you, of course I looked.”

“There’s no of course about it,” she said, feeling warm and restless. “I mean did you... did you look?”

It seemed very important to know. Because she felt unattractive and sad right now. Because he was... Because his reaction

to her in her wedding dress had mattered and somehow so did this.

“I... Rue,” he said.

“What?”

“I don’t know how to have this conversation with you.”

“But did you?” Danger. Danger , so much danger. Why was she doing this?

“Yes,” he said, finally.

His face was like granite. She couldn’t read it.

She was faltering; that was the problem. She’d come into the room to get dressed all angry and filled with rage and now she

felt unsure. She was trying to get a little certainty from the one person she trusted the most.

“I just feel like... like maybe I’m not... I always felt pretty secure. Because Asher and I were solid. I was okay with

us being separate because I trusted him. And I was wrong to do that. I just... I’m trying to figure out which way I was

wrong. Does that make sense? Because either there’s something wrong with me and it’s entirely excusable that he had to have

sex with somebody else because my boobs are only okay in a generic sort of way. Or there is something wrong with me because

there was always something wrong with him and I didn’t see it in spite of the fact that I was raised with parents who really

weren’t great. And it’s almost like the lesson wasn’t good enough.”

Justice sighed heavily. “It wasn’t you. Literally no matter what, it wasn’t you. You trusted him. And honestly, I thought

he was a decent guy. And I’m not very giving. Some people never think about why they do things.”

“Who? I think about why I do things all the time. It is literally the only way that I can figure out how to navigate the world. It’s the only way that I can make things make sense, and the only way that I can make sure that I don’t run around doing the wrong things the way my parents do.

” She shook her head. “I mean, I get that people like them maybe don’t think about their actions. ..”

“No,” he said. “A lot of people don’t. Rue, do you really think I asked myself why I want to go out and drink? Do you think

I ask myself why I like anonymous hookups? I just do.”

“It’s obviously childhood trauma,” she said.

“We’re all doing things because of childhood trauma, there’s nothing special about that. That’s the history of the world.

I just mean I don’t sit around asking myself deep questions about it. And I bet you Asher didn’t either. It felt good. So

he did it. And how you look in a dress has nothing to do with it.”

There was an intensity in his eyes that pushed her forward, closer to an edge she knew she needed to jump off.

Because this moment in time wouldn’t last. This break from her actual life. She would have to figure out her house; she would

have to go back to work. She would have to contend with herself. Polar plunges and trail rides and even nights out wouldn’t

be enough.

But it was all tangling her up right now. Making her feel tense even around Justice.

The only solution was to jump. Like she was leaping off the cliff to escape a fire that was burning out of control.

A fire she didn’t set, but one she had to deal with all the same.

“Okay,” she said. “Let’s go out. Let’s go just... forget about all this for a while. Because you know what, being good hasn’t gotten me anything. I’m kind of sick of it. You’re right. I need to do something else.”

“Yeah,” he said, “sure.”

They got into the truck, and he turned the engine over. “I’ll be your designated driver tonight.”

“You don’t have to do that. I can... We could get a car service or something.”

“No. Somebody has to... It’s good. It’s fine.”

He didn’t seem fine.

But she didn’t feel fine. She felt reckless. She felt very unlike herself.

Jumping had been what she needed to do.

For the first time in her memory she didn’t know where the night was going to take her.