Page 22 of The Rogue (Four Corners Ranch #11)

Her wedding had just been called off. What was wrong with her? Why was she allowing it to reverberate through the solid pieces

of her life like this?

She moved her hand away. “I’m just really sorry that you went through that.”

“I’m sorry that we went through a lot of things, Rue. You and me. It’s not fair. But life isn’t fair, and you and I both know

that. I had a terrible dad, and I happened to get caught in a cave-in. But you know, I didn’t die. I wasn’t seriously injured.

It was scary. And you know, the kind of scary that gives you nightmares for years when you’re a kid. But I survived.”

Except she couldn’t unsee the rawness in his response in the moment. It was more than just being afraid for a few days when

he was a kid. He was afraid now.

I didn’t make these decisions to protect myself...

Yes, he had. He did things to protect himself. One of them was not sharing things like this with her. She was so convinced

that she knew almost everything about them because they were best friends. Because they had been this whole time. Because

they knew each other so well. But what she had said to him the day of the wedding stood. She felt like he knew her better.

She had never hidden things from him.

They pulled up to the house and got out.

She retreated to her temporary lodgings and got her clothes on.

Because what else was she going to do? They had to just keep going.

She had to keep going. Because this whole moment was so incredibly uncomfortable.

The polar plunge had been the least uncomfortable part. As a metaphor, she supposed it stood.

She got on some sweats and by the time she emerged Justice was also wearing sweats. A pair of gray sweatpants and a tight

black T-shirt. She did her best not to do a visual tour of him, and then he took a kettle off the stove and poured some hot

water into one mug, then another. “Hot chocolate,” he said. “As promised.”

Did he really have things like a kettle because of her? Was his kitchen really this orderly because of her?

Suddenly, this man that she had been so confident she knew seemed like a whole puzzle to her. And her reactions to him didn’t

feel any clearer. Okay. She could be honest. She was feeling attraction.

No. Not attraction to him. It was just a heightened aesthetic appreciation of his masculine form because she had been thinking

about sex and she had been preoccupied with it. And what she knew about Justice was that he was an accomplished lover. Rumors

suggested this and...

She wanted to grip her head and growl. But she wasn’t going to.

“Yes,” she said.

“I have mini marshmallows.”

He was back to being his easy self and it was like none of that had happened. When everything inside of her was scalded red

with the fact that it had all happened. His ability to revert right back to form was just annoying.

“I do like mini marshmallows,” she said.

“I know.”

There he was, that man who knew her so well.

He even knew her favorite movie. And he brought their hot chocolate to the couch for her, and queued that movie up quickly.

“Your favorite movie is Lord of the Rings . You pretend it isn’t but it is.”

He looked at her. “Yes. But I don’t pretend that it isn’t. Who doesn’t love a good medieval road-trip film?”

“I’m just making sure that it’s clear that I do know you. I know what you like.”

That sounded so stupid. She took the mug of hot chocolate from his hand and held it close to her chest.

“I never said that you didn’t,” he said.

“Well, I didn’t know that you had been trapped in a cave.”

“I chose not to tell you. It’s not a commentary on your observational skills.”

“It feels like it is.”

“The way that it makes you feel isn’t my fault.”

“Well. I guess.” She pulled her knees up to her chest as he pushed Play on the movie. “Thank you. For jumping into the water

with me. It was nice to not be alone.”

She hadn’t been alone. Not through any step of this. He had been there the whole way. Even when he was annoyed. And somehow

things still felt jagged and disconnected between them. When yesterday it had all been fine. Except not really then either

because she had looked at him and she had lost her breath.

She didn’t like this.

She was beginning to feel panicky. She would rather jump back into an icy pond than contend with this.

The familiar introduction music soothed her to a point, and she let herself get carried off in this storyline that she knew by heart. The characters were like old friends to her, and she was suddenly deep in her feelings about this movie that had been so formative to her.

Maybe because she was a kid who had wished that she could be an adult. Not because she was awkward like Jenna in the movie,

just because she didn’t like her parents having control over her life. She had wanted to grow up. So that she could be an

organized businesswoman and have the life that she created rather than the one that had been given to her.

Of course, things did not go well for Jenna in the film, but there was something about the fantasy that had been the perfect

escape for Rue.

Of course there was the romance. When Jenna finally realized that she didn’t want a romance with the popular guy, but with

her best friend, who had been the right one all along.

Rue felt like she had been punched straight in the chest.

No.

Her favorite romantic comedy was not a psychoanalysis of deep-seated feelings about her life and her relationships. She just

liked the scene where they all did the “Thriller” dance. That was it.

She didn’t live in New York; she had no aspirations to. She didn’t want a big job. She liked her little yarn store in her

small town. See. Totally different.

Anyway. She looked to the side; her best friend was not the slightly awkward-looking kid. Her best friend was the stunningly handsome hard-body jock. So to speak. The unobtainable one. Well. He was obtainable. Just in a very specific way. He was hers. Sort of.

She looked back at the movie. She sipped her hot chocolate slowly, trying to make it last, because it provided a little bit

of a distraction. But then for some reason she turned to look at him, at the same time he was looking at her.

Her stomach dipped, then hollowed out.

Oh no. Oh no .

She couldn’t deny what the feeling was. Not anymore.

It wasn’t just attraction. She felt... attracted to him.

She could not let this happen. She could not let her fixation about sex, about her own issues with sex, transfer to her friend

and ruin the most important relationship in her life.

Sex was disappointing. Justice never was. If she wanted to go and figure things out...

It couldn’t be with him.

But what about trust ...?

Screw trust. She needed her ho phase, like Fia said. She needed it. It was the only thing that would fix this. She felt that

now with a wild-eyed fervor. Because if she was sitting here thinking Justice was viable... just no. She needed to get

out of her bubble. That was it.

So she said the only reasonable thing she could think of.

“I want to go out tonight.”