Page 15 of The Rogue (Four Corners Ranch #11)

“I’m going to see where the night leads me. I’m going to let Jack Daniel’s lead.”

“Oh, please don’t do that.”

“I’m spontaneous now,” she said, holding up the squirrel binder that contained all of her plans, likely color coded and itemized.

“Spontaneous.”

“You’re heartbroken,” he said.

He didn’t know why he said it. Maybe as a reminder to her. Maybe as a reminder to him.

“You know, that’s the thing,” she said. “I’m not. I... I don’t think that I am.”

“You must be. Because this is out of the ordinary.”

She clutched the binder to her chest and looked up at him, a sort of desperation in her eyes. “Justice. I am more upset about

the life that I’m not going to have than I am about losing Asher. And I don’t know if it’s because I’m in shock, because the

reality of the whole thing hasn’t set in yet. Because he was on deployment a lot and we spent a lot of our relationship apart.

I’m used to not having him as part of the day-to-day.”

She chewed her lip and looked up at him. “It makes sense that I might not miss him until it’s been longer than this. But I

don’t know. Am I upset about losing him? Or am I mad because I was humiliated? Because he basically left me at the altar.

Because he thinks another woman is sexier than I am. Am I offended by that? Is it more to do with the fact that I don’t get

to have the fantasy wedding that I wanted?”

“Are you going to let me answer any of these questions?”

She kept talking like he hadn’t spoken. “I have to keep waiting to have kids. To have the family that I want and the life that I want. That’s just not a good reason to be with somebody.

And I honestly don’t know the answer to the question.

Because I feel like heartbreak should feel a lot less like rage.

A lot less like thwarted plans. And that’s what this feels like to me.

I’m angry. Because I didn’t get what I wanted.

But when I think of all the things that I’m mad about missing, he isn’t one of them.

” She closed her eyes. “I mean not specifically.”

That made him feel oddly triumphant. And he wasn’t sure what to do with that. Or why the feeling existed.

“Rue,” he said. “Listen, it makes sense. It makes sense that you can’t love the guy like you did before you found out who

he really was. What he prioritized. Maybe that’s all it is. I’m not saying that I want you to be heartbroken. I don’t. But

you make it sound like you were ready to marry a man you didn’t even love.”

“What if I was? Do I even know what love is? Why would I know that? I mean, for me it has always been about security. How

could it not be? My parents didn’t give each other any security. They made things worse. They lied to each other, they manipulated

each other. Our house wasn’t a sanctuary. It was a war zone.”

“I am very familiar,” he said.

“I know you are. So maybe I just decided that love was the opposite of those things. I feel like I need to undo all the ideas

that I ever had about what my life should look like. Everything that I did to be the opposite of my parents.”

“This sounds...” But he sighed, because what else could he do. He was just going to have to be her... her emotional

support pack mule. Taking her and all of her baggage up Mount Debauchery. Because he knew how to carry it. Because he knew

how to handle the treacherous road. Because he could keep her from doing anything truly stupid. Of that he was certain.

“All right,” he said slowly. “Just let me know when you want to start.”

“Oh good,” she said, opening up the binder. “I want to ride tomorrow.”

“That’s fine, what did you have in mind?”

“Well, I asked around the ranch to find out what the best trail ride was, and—”

“You didn’t ask me?”

“No, because I wanted to present you with my finished plan. I didn’t want to involve you in the making of the plan.” She smiled. It was so cute he... couldn’t look away for a second. “I wanted to surprise you.”

“I’ll tell you what, Rue. Let’s try this for spontaneity. I’m going to choose the route that we ride. Okay?”

She lifted her nose, and looked down toward him suspiciously. “I don’t know how I feel about that.”

“Luckily, I didn’t ask you.” He took his cowboy hat off his head and plunked it down on Rue’s head. She looked up, and the

hat lowered over her eyebrows. Then she frowned. “This is sweaty.”

“I was working hard.”

“I was too,” she said. “I did make you dinner.”

“You did not. We can go to the farmhouse.”

“No. I did,” she said.

“That was sweet, kid. Thank you.”

He went into the kitchen to find a lasagna, and who the hell is mad to find a lasagna? Not him. So he sat across from her

at the table eating lasagna and garlic bread and tried not to think about how his life felt like the same life that had been

a couple of days ago but in a different font. The same elements, somehow completely rearranged to make something entirely

different.

“Got some good news today,” he said, dragging his garlic bread through the remaining sauce on his plate.

“Oh yeah?”

“Landry and Fia are having a baby.”

Rue looked up at him, her eyes glassy, and he wondered if it had actually been insensitive to tell her that. She clearly wanted

a baby. But then she smiled. “I am so happy for them. After... after everything.”

“Yeah. I know. It’s good. They deserve it.”

“That’s... It’s really wonderful.” She patted her eyes.

“I think it’s going to take a lot for Daughtry to talk Bix into having kids.”

“Well, I guess everybody handles the hard stuff they’ve been through in different ways.”

“That’s the truth.”

Like Rue trying to plan her way into being wild. And Justice just... cutting ties with caring about much of anything. He

held on to his family, and he held on to Bix. That was about it. You couldn’t control other people. There was just too damned

much she couldn’t control.

And when you loved too many people you were open to manipulation.

So Justice kept things free and easy, and he was happy that way. Minimal ties, minimal everything. Just the way he liked it.

Now, the ties he had were intense, but he knew how to manage them.

And that was what it all came down to. Control.

He knew Rue. He knew what she was going to do.

And he was going to choose the damned trail they were going on.

He would take her up Cracker Jack Mountain; there was snow up there.

The pine trees would look exceptional. It would be a good long ride, and she would get a good view.

It was a mountain out on the property so they could just ride down a trail to get on that one, rather than loading the horses up into a trailer and driving somewhere.

Yeah. That’s what he would do.

He would pack them a lunch. He would get Fia to do it. Well. She was pregnant. So maybe one of her sisters would do it. But

if the food came from the Sullivan sisters it would be great.

“Let’s head out about ten tomorrow.”

She looked at him, faux innocence sparkling in her eyes. “Super early morning, Justice.

“Hush up, varmint. You can’t be mean to your guide.”

“My guide?”

“To sin, Ruby. Your guide to sin. Well. And trailheads. I’ll meet you out at the main barn.”

“You’re saying that like we don’t live together right now.”

Well, hell. So he was.

“All right. But I guess I will keep seeing you all evening, and I’ll see you tomorrow at coffee time.”

She laughed. “Must be a trial.”

“When there’s lasagna, of course it’s not. So I guess I did lie to you. You do have to do something to pay me back. You need

to keep making me lasagna.”

She rolled her eyes. “Only because I am not doing anything else all day.”

“I thought the binders were work.”

“Oh, they were,” she said. “So was listening to Taylor Swift and singing at the top of my lungs while I cried.”

He didn’t say anything. But he was glad he had to work today.

“All right. I’ll clean the kitchen. You scamper off and finish up any last-minute details you need to put in your notebook. But remember, I’m your guide. So I reserve the right to upend your plans at any moment and substitute them with better plans.”

“I didn’t agree to that.”

He looked at her and lifted a brow. “I didn’t ask.”

The air seemed to get heavy between them then. It was like when he touched her thigh at the bachelorette party. Which officially

felt like it had been ten years ago, instead of just a few days earlier. Another life, another Rue.

And he tried not to sit in the discomfort of the change of it all.

“Right. Well, I’m going to go have a shower.”

“Good,” he said, the word coming out more clipped than he had intended it to.

He spent the rest of the evening getting their picnic planned, figuring out which horses to take, exactly what trail. Looking

at all the weather conditions. He would have to bring blankets. One for them to sit on, with a tarp underneath it, and a blanket

for her to wrap in so she wouldn’t get cold.

When he was going to sleep, he had the vague idea that it had been a lot like what planning a date must be like.

But it wasn’t one. Because Justice King had never been on a date, and he sure as hell wasn’t going on one with his best friend.