Page 35

Thirty-Three

Isaac

S itting in the back seat, Jensen’s hand is in mine, and I feel on top of the world. Even without seeing Adam, which I’ll admit was the one I was most anticipating, I’m at peace. It’s like there’s an entire part of me that can relax for the first time in over a decade.

Leaning my head against the seat, I stare at Jensen beside me. Even though I can see the tension he’s trying to hide, I’m grateful he was with me. I would have hated walking in that door alone.

I just hope I wasn’t asking too much of him, calling him my boyfriend. To be out , even if not publicly. It’s still a scary thing for people to know something you’ve held locked in for your entire life. I should know.

But my situation is a little different than his. His scars run deeper than mine. Sometimes, I worry that his being out won’t be as liberating as it should be. I’m afraid that the conditioning his mother subjected him to will ruin that monumental occasion for him.

He should only feel love and acceptance, but I’m worried he won’t. I’m worried they’ve rewired his brain to only feel shame and guilt instead.

I squeeze his hand tighter in mine as if I can hold him here with me—like he might float away on a breeze if I don’t.

When we reach my house, I look at him with nervous anticipation. I want him to come in. Obviously , I want him to come in. But if he doesn’t want to risk it, I understand. But that nervous kid inside me doesn’t want to appear too vulnerable or eager.

Luke pulls up the long driveway in front of my house. “Will you stay?” I whisper with Henry sleeping in his car seat between us.

Jensen’s dark eyes shimmer in the moonlight as a gentle smile causes them to narrow. “Of course.”

My heart leaps with gratitude as he and I climb out together. We take turns hugging Sadie and Luke good night.

Then Jensen and I walk into my house and straight up to my room. I think he knows I don’t really want to talk much about how tonight went. It’s something I can revisit later, but it was all so heavy that I don’t want to hash it out or refeel it all. I just want to bask in this newfound peace.

Everything feels right.

We take turns showering, and when I come out, I find him lying on my bed in nothing but a pair of my boxer briefs. Stopping in the doorway, I dry my hair with a towel as I gawk at him like a drooling teenager.

He sets his phone down. “I stole a pair of your underwear.”

“Please explain to me why that’s so hot,” I say, tossing my towel in the hamper.

“I think,” he says with a sexy smirk as he puts his hands behind his head and leans against the pillow. “Because it means I’m yours.”

I don’t bother putting on any underwear as I climb onto the bed, straddling his thick thighs. “That must be it.”

When we’re alone like this and Jensen can just be himself, it’s like I get a better version of him. Like he’s all mine. And I wish I could keep him here forever.

But our time is limited. It’s always limited.

That nagging worry deep in my gut threatens to ruin our evening, so I ignore it.

“Speaking of sexy…” I say, leaning down to kiss his stomach. “Listening to you say grace at dinner was criminally hot.”

“Isaac,” he says with a laugh as I work my lips up to his pecs. “There is nothing hot about that.”

With a raspy chuckle, I bite gently on his left nipple. “When you do it, there is.”

“No, there is not.” His voice is breathy and tight as I switch sides and play with his other nipple. I can feel his cock hardening beneath me. And I refuse to believe it’s just the nipple play causing it.

“Come on,” I moan before biting it again.

He yelps and his back arches off the bed.

“Let me hear a little prayer,” I beg.

He grabs my hair and wrestles me to my back. With his body draped over mine, he boxes me in with his arms on the bed by my ears.

“I am not saying a prayer in bed,” he growls.

“Please, Daddy,” I whine, but he only shakes his head.

“That won’t work on me again.” Leaning down, he kisses my neck, and it lights a fire inside me. I’m smiling from ear to ear with my legs wrapped around his waist.

Jensen finds my hands and interlaces our fingers, pinning them to the bed above me. As he kisses his way down my neck and over my collarbone, I lose my jokes and witty comebacks. He certainly has his ways of shutting me up.

“Besides,” he mumbles before licking his way up my neck and putting his mouth next to my ear. “You’ll be the one talking to God when I’m done with you.”

I practically melt right into the mattress. “Fuck me,” I say on a gasp as goose bumps cover my body.

“I plan to,” he replies with a wicked grin.

His lips find mine, and he kisses me hard, grinding himself against me. When he has me nearly breathless, like a worthless aroused puddle beneath him, he reaches into my nightstand and retrieves the lube.

I love that we don’t need condoms anymore. I love that we’ve reached this point together, that we trust each other this much. I’ve never imagined a long-term relationship in my future, but I want that more than anything with Jensen. I want him in my life forever. And it might seem crazy to claim that after only a couple of months, but when I’m with him, it’s like all the broken parts of me are whole again. He is the glue.

He takes his time working me open. Kissing my neck and teasing my nipples, he presses my thighs up higher as he slides three fingers inside me. Honestly, he takes more time than he needs to. As if he’s so concerned about hurting me, and I love him for that. Not that I mind a little pain, but I have never felt more taken care of and protected in my life.

Jensen never takes, only gives. He never hurts, only heals. He is the redeemer. My salvation. My love.

I watch with adoration and arousal as he slides his boxer briefs off and settles between my legs. Lining up our cocks, he rocks against me as he looks into my eyes.

“I love you,” I whisper, staring up at him. With anyone else, I might be embarrassed to be so emotional or that they’ll notice the moisture in my eyes, but with him, I’m safe.

He touches his forehead to mine. “I will love you until the day I die.”

My eyes close and I have to swallow the lump building in my throat. Then, as we breathe the same air, he presses my legs up and eases his cock inside of me.

He slips past the ring of muscle, and I let out a groan. He quickly kisses it from my mouth while his hips thrust deep and slow.

“I was made for this,” he whispers as he presses my legs higher and pushes in deeper.

“We were made for this,” I reply breathlessly.

I am so incredibly full, and it’s a sensation I savor. Normally, with sex, I wanted it to be fast and hard because there was never a connection like this before. Never another person I wanted to be closer to. It was just about me and this aching need to be desired, fucked, made for pleasure for others to derive. I used to have sex just to feel something.

Now, with him, it’s something else entirely. Sex isn’t dirty or filthy. It’s cosmic and beautiful. We are more than just two bodies—we’re two souls. We give without taking, a mutual pleasure that’s far more rewarding than anything I’ve ever felt before.

Jensen reaches between our bodies and wraps his hand around my cock. The motion of his thrusts drives his hand and when he pegs my prostate, a bit of cum leaks from the tip.

“God, yes,” I groan, clutching tighter to him.

Jensen chuckles as he grinds his hips upward at the angle that makes my body tense and my eyes roll.

“What is so funny?” I ask tightly while trying not to come too soon.

“I told you.”

“Told me what?”

“That you’d be talking to God.”

A smile tugs at my lips, but only until he slams into me again. Then my smile is wiped away and I’m on the brink of an orgasm.

“Shut up and fuck me harder,” I cry out. He quickly takes my mouth in a kiss, and I hear him groaning deep in his chest. He’s trying hard to hold on too.

We’re no longer sweetly making love. He has me practically folded in half as he pounds hard into me, and I have a pleasure-laced scream at the tip of my tongue.

“God, don’t stop. Fuck, I’m right…there,” I mumble incoherently.

“I’m right there too,” he mutters. “Tell me to come inside you.”

“Yes, please, Daddy. Fill me up,” I shout.

“You come first, baby.” He sounds like he’s on the razor-thin edge of control.

His hand around my cock squeezes the head on the upstroke as he nails that spot inside me again, and I’m a goner. The climax digs its claws in and I’m powerless against it. Warm cum lands against my chest and neck while I’m riding out the waves of ecstasy.

“I’m coming,” he groans as he slams in a couple more times before stilling. His cock pulses as he comes, and I love the idea of being filled and claimed by him.

We both collapse at the same time, and I instantly feel his heart hammering in his chest as he lies on top of me. It’s like heaven, catching our breaths together. Our hearts pounding together. Cum-covered and satisfied.

Eventually and begrudgingly, we both get up. He goes into the bathroom first and comes back with a warm, wet washcloth. I lie in bed, feeling like his filthy little sex toy as he gently cleans my chest and between my legs.

“What are you grinning at?” he asks when he sees my face.

“Nothing,” I reply with a big stretch. “I just love this.”

He pauses, gazing down at me. “Me taking care of you or the post-orgasm haze altogether?”

“All of it. But mostly just having you here.”

He goes into the bathroom and tosses the washcloth in the hamper before washing his hands. I get to stare at his sexy ass the entire time.

“You know,” I say, rolling to my side. “You could just leave some underwear here.”

“I thought you liked me wearing your underwear?” he asks as he picks up the ones he discarded on the floor before sex and pulls them back on.

“I do, but I sort of love the idea of you keeping your things at my place more.”

He stares at me with his thumbs in the waistband of his briefs. “I could do that,” he says with hesitation.

“You could stay here too, you know. When I’m not here. Sleep in my bed. Swim in my pool. Jack off in my shower.”

He smirks as he climbs into the bed and lies next to me. “Isaac, are you asking me to move in with you?”

“Am I moving too fast?” I ask, hearing how ridiculous this probably sounds. I’ve never even been to his place, and yet, I’m asking him to live in my house. This is probably too much, but I don’t care. I just love him so much and I want moments like this all the time. I want all the stupid domestic boyfriend shit every day.

He licks his bottom lip as he thinks it over. “I love that idea, too,” he mumbles, and I grin wildly at him.

“Really?”

“Really.” He nods.

Then we’re both grinning like idiots. He hooks an arm around my waist and tugs me toward him until I’m hugging him tight.

As I rest my head on his chest, I realize that everything is working out. Nothing that threatened to tear us apart has, and we might have been worried about everything for nothing. Truett can’t hurt us. Jensen’s past can’t hurt us.

With time, we’ll come out and either they’ll accept us or they won’t, but either way, we’ll be okay. We’re together, we’re in love, and everything is going to be just fine.

Better than fine. Everything will be perfect.