Page 10

Nine

Isaac

T he show had a different energy tonight. Suddenly, it felt like I wasn’t performing for twenty thousand people. I was performing for only one.

And the main event wasn’t even the show. It’s what could happen after.

I run off the stage with the band after the encore, and Jensen is there waiting. I feel disgusting, covered in sweat, and my fingers ache from playing so hard, but I don’t care. When he wraps his arms around me for an enthusiastic hug, I fall right into them. We’re both too thrilled and hyped up from the show to care.

When we pull apart, our eyes meet again. It’s brief. This isn’t the place to be so open with our attraction, and he knows it.

After putting some shit away and making sure my guitar is taken care of, I walk out to the bus with Jensen by my side. The fans are there like always, waiting for me to cross from the building to the tour bus.

As they scream my name, I leave his side for a second and sign a few of their things, more than usual, if I’m honest. The entire time, I feel him watching.

Lola is there to pull me away when I don’t give up signing shit.

“I have to get cleaned up. You can wait in the bus and then we can head out to a bar or something after,” I say to Jensen once we climb aboard.

He glances skeptically at Lola, who is doing the same back to him. I’m a little afraid of leaving them alone with each other. I hope she doesn’t threaten to cut his balls off to his face, but I wouldn’t put it past her.

I shower quickly, and by the time I come out, they are enjoying small talk with the rest of the band. Rio has poured some drinks for everyone, and I toss back a shot of tequila in the kitchen to settle my nerves.

Why the fuck am I nervous?

“Ready to go?” I ask Jensen after slipping a baseball hat on my head.

He stands from the recliner. “Ready.”

We say goodbye to the band before we leave. “Don’t stay out too late,” Lola calls like a mother.

There’s a black SUV waiting for us, but Jensen and I don’t even have a destination in mind. As we climb in, Jensen asks, “When does your bus leave?”

“Four hours,” I reply with disappointment. “Where are you staying tonight?”

“I got a hotel downtown. Just a few miles away. I think it has a restaurant and a bar.”

A hotel bar. Perfect.

“Sweet. Let’s go there.”

As the driver takes us to Jensen’s hotel, there is a sense of haste between us. For sex, maybe. For that first kiss. For a moment alone with him. It’s like a race.

When we get there, we head straight for the rooftop restaurant. I keep my eyes down as we go so no one recognizes me, which honestly isn’t often. Without the cowboy hat, I’m just a regular guy. The server puts us in a quiet corner with a palm tree and a large planter to hide us from view.

As soon as we sit down, I look into his eyes.

“Is this okay?” he asks. I’m not sure what he’s referring to, but I have a feeling it’s the date-like situation we’re in. Out on a date in public? No, it’s not okay, but not for the reasons he’s thinking.

It’s not okay because I don’t date. The idea of having a meal with a complete stranger to put our compatibility to the test sounds like torture to me, but for some reason, with him, it doesn’t sound bad at all.

I’m far more used to hooking up with guys I click with at bars or online, and nine times out of ten, it’s a one-time thing. Sometimes, we repeat the hookup so much it starts to feel like a relationship. That hasn’t happened in a while, though.

“This is great,” I reply, leaning back in my chair and giving him a crooked smirk.

The server comes by and takes our orders. The need for a drink is visceral. I’m desperate for something to settle the unease in my bones.

As she leaves and Jensen and I are alone, the air feels heavy. That almost-kiss we shared in the greenroom is dying for us to acknowledge it.

Jensen has such an air of confidence about him, and I’ve never been with a guy like that. As he leans back in his chair with one arm slung over the back, my mouth starts to water. I imagine him sitting like that while I unzip his pants. I imagine pleasing him, feeling the weight of his cock on my tongue, and hearing him tell me how much he likes it.

My cock twitches in my pants.

“Do you date a lot?” he asks with interest.

“No,” I reply with a shake of my head. “I’m sure you can understand why.”

His eyes narrow as he nods slowly. “I do understand.” To be fair, I know almost nothing about Jensen so far, but with that look in his eye it gives me the impression that he’s harboring secrets.

“What about you?” I ask.

“Same.”

The server brings our drinks, and I reach for mine quickly. Jensen watches me with concern as I take a long gulp. I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I just feel…nervous.

We order some food, and I feel Jensen watching me. He wants to say something. He seems almost…bothered. Is this not what he wanted? The tension in the air feels thick.

My drink goes down fast, and I start to feel at ease.

“What made you want to be a country singer?” he asks.

With a smile, I lean against the table. “I don’t know. Ever since I was a kid, I loved performing. I love music. Being able to convey so much with so little. I love writing lyrics in my songs that mean something to me and then mean something to a complete stranger, too. Is that stupid?”

“Not at all,” he replies softly. “Your lyrics mean very much to me.”

“That’s good.”

“I can tell you feel very lonely sometimes,” he says, and it’s like his eyes are boring into me. The weight of those words drags me under. “It’s all right,” he says, noticing my discomfort. “I feel that too.”

“Yeah?” I whisper.

“Why are you so lonely, Theo?”

Something about hearing him call me Theo and not Isaac burns, and I don’t like it. But the comfort of his voice is too inviting.

For some reason, I want to bare my soul for this guy, and I barely know him. Glancing down at the table, I pick at the placemat. “I ran away from home when I was seventeen,” I mutter. “And I haven’t been back.”

“Really?” he asks, leaning in.

“I came out to my dad, and he made me feel like dirt. Like I wasn’t worthy of his love. Like I’d never make him proud a day in my life.”

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles softly.

“God, why am I telling you all of this?” I ask. As I look at him again, I feel something like trust, and it’s impossible to explain.

“You’re safe with me, Theo.”

Suddenly, I’m flooded with a feeling I don’t understand. Something incredibly unfamiliar. This feeling of safety.

When our food comes, I order another drink, and we finish our meal with a sense of haste. We continue to make small talk, but I’m so shaken by his offer to keep me safe that I can hardly relax into the conversation.

After we’re finished, we battle over who will pay, but I insist and give my credit card to the server first. Then, he gets up from the table and puts a hand on the small of my back.

As we make our way toward the elevator, my heart thrums quickly, and I feel every small movement. I’m a bomb about to explode.

We walk onto the elevator, and I know the moment we’re alone, something will happen. I need it.

He hits the button for the lobby, and the doors close slowly. The moment they do, he spins toward me. He presses a large hand on my chest and shoves me against the mirrored wall.

There’s hesitation on his face as he leans in to kiss me. For just a split second, he stops himself.

Wrapping a hand around his neck, I haul his mouth toward mine. The moment his lips touch mine, the hesitation is gone. Our lips tangle in a needy, passionate kiss.

I nearly melt to the floor when his tongue brushes against mine. The rough texture of his facial hair feels delicious under my fingers as I run them along the side of his face. And when he groans into my mouth, I practically weep. When was the last time I was kissed so well?

The hunger. The sensation. The power. It’s all so intoxicating. I want to drown in this kiss. Bury me now because it’s enough to kill me.

His teeth nibble on my bottom lip, tugging gently until I whimper. At the sound, he drives his hips against mine, our steely erections rubbing against each other’s.

Just before we reach the bottom floor, he pulls away just an inch. With his mouth hovering over mine, he softly whispers, “You scare the fuck out of me, Theo Virgil.”

I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean, but I laugh it off. A moment later, the elevator beeps and the doors open.

We each subtly adjust ourselves in our pants before waltzing out into the lobby of the hotel. I stay back while he checks in for the night and gets his room key. I’m practically bouncing with anticipation.

I watch him from across the lobby, brushing my lips as I think about that kiss, reliving it over and over.

Before I even know what I’m doing, I’m writing lyrics in my head.

Elevator indiscretions

Hard-pressed, soft kiss

A touch worth waiting for

When Jensen gets the key and walks back toward me, there’s hunger in his eyes. But I can’t help noticing the time. I have to go back to the venue soon. Fuck my life.

“Come on,” he says with authority as he guides me back to the elevator. This time, we don’t make out during the short trip to his floor.

And when we get out, I can already tell something has changed. Before pressing his key to the door, he turns to face me.

“Listen, Theo?—”

“Stop,” I say, putting a hand up, wanting to save him from the torture of hard conversations.

“No, let me talk.”

“If you don’t want to do this, that’s fine.”

“I want to,” he argues. “Trust me, I really, really want to.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

He seems so torn, and it’s making me uncomfortable. This is the last thing I want.

“You don’t have much time. And I…”

Midsentence, his eyes connect with mine again, and it’s like something inside him changes. He dives in for another kiss. It’s harsh and warm, and he nibbles hungrily on my mouth.

Fuck .

As our mouths part again, we’re both breathless and hard and ravenous. And yet, still both so hesitant.

Inches from his lips, I whisper, “I really like you, Jensen, and I can’t believe I’m about to say this.”

“Say it,” he growls in return.

“I don’t think I should come in that room with you.”

Who am I? What is happening?

He pulls away to stare into my eyes, and I can’t read his features. Jensen is such an enigma to me. There’s something beneath the surface that I don’t understand. And for once in my life, I want to understand him more than I want to fuck him.

“I think you’re right,” he says, clearing his throat.

When he takes a step away from me, his absence feels like an ache. Reaching for him, I rest a hand on his side, strumming my fingers along his rib cage.

Reckless, reckless, reckless.

Releasing a heavy breath, he adds, “I don’t want to be a tour stop.”

I wince as I press my body against his. “I don’t want you to be a tour stop, either.”

Our words say one thing, but our bodies say something completely different. He presses me against the wall in the hallway, where anyone could walk by at any moment, but I don’t care. Right now, there’s only his mouth, his hands, his body.

When Jensen kisses me, it feels like he’s been starved for so long. It’s ravenous. His large hand engulfs my throat as he tips my head back to dive deeper into my mouth. It’s so intense that my legs begin to weaken, and I forget how to breathe.

Then his hips grind against mine again, and I feel his rigid length align with my own. We moan in unison.

“I’m starting to rethink this decision,” I mumble into his mouth.

“Me too,” he pants, grinding again.

I do not want to come in this hallway in the same pants I have to ride home in. I’m thinking about pushing him away, but I don’t have the strength. He feels too good.

Thankfully, he’s the one to put distance between us again. “Fuck,” he mutters as he runs his hands through his hair and paces away from me.

I’m feeling the same. Tense and needy, and I know if I let my body have too much control, I’d say fuck the rules and let him pull me into that hotel room.

And I’ll admit, it’s cute to see him so flustered. I love the effect I have on him.

“I should probably get going,” I say as I step away from the wall.

“When can I see you again?” he asks.

He wants to see me again .

“We’ll be in Vegas this weekend,” I say with a shrug.

His eyes narrow with a wince. “I have to work this weekend.”

“Okay…Denver? Tuesday night.”

As he watches my face, I feel so vulnerable. The cryptic expressions are starting to go to my head.

“Talk to me, Jensen. I can’t tell if you’re deliberating how much you want to see me again or if there’s something else worrying you.”

Closing the distance, he crowds me again. His tall frame and handsome face fill my vision as he touches my cheek.

“I want to see you again. I was just wondering if I could wait that long.”

Why the fuck are my insides being assaulted by butterflies? I think I’m melting, actually fucking melting. I have never swooned so goddamn hard in my life. This guy is going to fuck me up, isn’t he? When he says things like that and looks so fucking good, I know I’m in for something.

Please don’t hurt me.

“Five days feels like a hundred,” I murmur in return.

Leaning in, he kisses me again, but it’s softer this time. After a few minutes, he pulls away for the fourth time tonight and looks pained while doing it.

“I’ll see you in Denver,” he whispers.

As he puts his hand on the hotel door, I take a backward step toward the elevator. At this point, I’m probably late, and Lola will have my head when I get back, but this was worth it. So goddamn worth it.

“See you in Denver,” I reply as I press the elevator button.

A moment later, it chimes, and the doors open. I leave his sight and step into the elevator, collapsing against the back wall as I let the last three hours wash over me.

Then, just before the doors close, Jensen shoves his hand in to stop them. Bursting into the elevator, he says, “Just one more.”

Taking my face in his hands, he kisses me hard again, and I grin like a fool against his mouth.

Oh yeah, I’m fucked.