Page 26

Twenty-Five

Isaac

E ight days without Jensen was tough. Focusing on performing and songwriting when I know my family is in crisis is tough. Being on tour and in the public eye while all of this is going down is tough.

But none of those things are as tough as seeing my hot, older boyfriend at the end of the hall behind the stage at the arena and not being able to run into his arms and kiss him to death. That’s just fucking torture.

Jensen looks so good as he stands with his hands in his pockets, watching me walk down the hall with the rest of my band behind me. Backstage is too fucking crowded. Why are there so many people around? They’re all the crew and security and workers, none of whom need to see me kissing another man. Phones would come out so fast and ruin everything.

I lock eyes with Jensen as I approach him, and I know he’s feeling the same pain. I put out a hand for a cordial handshake.

“Glad you could make it,” I say with a beaming smile. He grips my hand so tight it hurts, and we give each other one of those awkward handshake hug things that guys do.

“Thanks for the invite,” he replies, his eyes skating around the room as if to see everyone’s reaction to our greeting.

Lola gives me a sad smile. “I’ll let you have the shower in the bus first,” she says with a hand on my arm. “Just don’t take too long. We have to be back and ready for the show by five.” Then she gives me a wink and walks off with the rest of the band.

Subtle. What a goddess.

“I love you,” I mouth to her while no one is paying attention.

Then I turn to Jensen. “Care to have a beer with me while I get ready for the show?”

He shrugs. “Sure.”

It feels like we’re performing for an audience that isn’t even paying attention. I walk first toward the back door, and Jensen follows. This early before the show, when the fans aren’t even here yet, it’s safe to come and go through the parking lot. Later tonight, it will be a madhouse out here.

Jensen and I don’t speak on the trek to the bus. The anxious energy between us is palpable. Our feet move faster and faster with each step. When we reach the bus, the security guard outside opens the door for me and I thank him. His presence definitely means we need to keep it down inside.

“I’ve got beer. You like Shiner, right?” I ask Jensen as I climb the stairs.

“Sure,” he replies.

Then, a moment later, the bus door is closed and we’re alone. I spin on my heels and launch myself into his arms. His hands hold my face, knocking my cowboy hat to the floor as his mouth finds mine. Ravenously, he kisses me, licking his way into my mouth and nibbling on my lips.

My ass hits the counter as he backs me up. Then I push him toward the recliners and he falls into one. We barely break our kiss for a moment before I’m in his lap, kissing him hard again.

“Eight days has never felt so long in my life,” he mumbles against my mouth.

His hands tug on my Wranglers, and I grind myself against him as my cock swells behind the zipper. His mouth travels from my lips and down my jaw, biting me through the short hair. When he reaches my neck, he sucks hard on the tender, stubbly flesh and it takes everything in me to bite back my whimper.

“I’ve got time before the show,” I whisper. “Take me to the bedroom.”

He pauses, staring into my eyes with desire. “Not yet.”

“What do you mean not yet ?” I ask with surprise. “I’ve waited eight damn days.”

He chuckles before giving me a peck on the lips. “I have something for you.”

“Is it an orgasm? Because if it’s not, I don’t want it.”

He smacks my ass playfully. “Get up. It’s in my pocket.”

With curiosity, I stand from his lap and lean against the counter and wait. He stands and I see not only the bulge in his jeans from his cock but also the bulge in his pocket. Consider my interest piqued.

I stare at him with furrowed brows as he pulls it out. “It’s a good thing you gave me backstage access because I was afraid I wouldn’t make it through security with this.”

My brows pinch even more. It’s a red velvet satchel. He loosens the top and pulls out a glass, mushroom-shaped plug.

“Oh, honey, the answer is yes,” I say, holding back a laugh.

He steps up to me. “You already know what I’m going to say,” he says with a sexy rasp in his voice.

“You want me to wear that while I’m onstage, don’t you?” I ask, gazing into his eyes. My cock throbs in my pants at the idea.

He nods. “I want you dying for my cock by the end of the show, and I want to know your ass is ready for me.”

“My ass is always ready for you,” I reply with a smirk. Jensen laughs quietly with a shake of his head.

“You know what I mean, Isaac.”

I can’t help but kiss him. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pull him close and let him kiss me so hard it becomes hard to breathe.

While our lips are still pressed together, he asks, “Did you do that other thing I asked you to do?”

“Oh, you mean this?” I ask as I pull away. Rushing to my room, I ruffle through the papers hidden in the drawer next to my bed. I pull out the one he wants to see. It’s the one that says I am free of any transmittable diseases. He’s already shown me his.

I hold it up for him to see as he approaches me with a soft expression of contentment. “Good boy,” he whispers before planting a kiss on my mouth.

Letting the paper fall to the floor, I wrap my arms around Jensen and melt into his kiss. Later tonight, I’ll have him to myself. All of him. Nothing between us.

It might seem like nothing, but I have never gotten to this point with a guy before. Even on the rare occasions that I was with someone for any length of time, we never took this step. This step is huge. It’s the one that defines a level of intimacy I haven’t seen before.

I’m certainly no hopeless romantic, but this stage of our relationship and the whole I love you thing feel very hand in hand.

God, what is happening to me?

Jensen smacks my ass again. “Get in the shower.”

“I wish it were big enough for the both of us,” I moan in complaint as I turn the water on.

“I’ll be waiting for you to get out,” he says, waving the glass plug in his hand. With his arms crossed, he watches me undress and climb into the small stall. Then he watches with interest as I soap up my body, taking time to stroke my still-hard cock.

“Enjoying the show?” I ask with a smirk.

“Yes, very much,” he replies.

My shower is a bit more rushed than normal. Stepping out, I dry off but don’t bother wrapping the towel around my waist. As I walk out of the bathroom, I turn to find Jensen sitting on the edge of my bed, fully clothed with lube in one hand and the butt plug in the other.

He pats his thigh. “Have a seat.”

Nothing will ever compare as long as I live to how hot he looks in this moment. He looks like he owns me and he knows it. There’s something about him. His willingness to always be what I need. To always be here for me, no matter what. It makes my heart swell in my chest every time I look at him.

I climb onto his lap, straddling his hips as I stare into his eyes. His stoic, hard expression melts into a smile that looks like love.

I want to say it. God, I want to say it.

But surely, this can’t be the moment to whisper those three little words.

“You know,” I say, wrapping my arms around his neck. “I have a little surprise for you, too.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, but you have to wait for yours. At about…nine forty-five tonight.”

He nods before pressing his lips to mine. As our mouths are entangled, his lubed fingers gently prod my ass, and I let out a moan of desire. As he starts to stretch me, I groan a little louder.

“Are you sure you don’t want to just fuck me now?” I whisper against his lips.

He growls in response, which again seems to be my answer.

When the cool glass of the plug nudges my hole, I relax into his arms, allowing the toy to slowly penetrate. It’s not my first rodeo, so I know this feeling.

I also know that tonight’s show is going to be very…interesting. I guess I should just be grateful it isn’t the remote-controlled vibrating type.

Once it’s fully seated inside me, I shift my hips to feel it lightly grazing my prostate. I groan into Jensen’s neck.

“I’m so fucked,” I mumble, making him laugh. He strokes his hands up and down my back.

“You know you don’t have to wear it for the show if you don’t want to. You can always tell me no.”

I pull back and look into his eyes. “You’re sweet to say that, but trust me, I’d tell you no if I wanted to. You realize I’m a stubborn shithead, right?”

He gives me one of his signature crooked smiles. “Good. I want you to always tell me when you don’t like something. And tell other people the same. Don’t let anyone walk all over you.”

My eyes narrow as I lean in. “Stop talking like you won’t be around to protect me. I’m not worried about anything when I’m with you.”

His arms wrap me tightly against his body, and he breathes into my neck. He doesn’t respond, and it makes me a little unsettled. Jensen might be an enigma to me still, but it’s the subtle darkness hidden deep inside that scares me most of all. But I’m convinced that if I hold him tight enough and love him hard enough, I can scare all that darkness away.

It’s at the end of a long instrumental bridge when I first curse Jensen in my mind. For a while, I almost forgot the plug was there, but once I started moving around onstage and playing harder, I was reminded.

Oh, there it is .

Now, I just have to pray that no one can see the hard evidence in front of my jeans. Fans might be thinking, “Wow, Theo Virgil really likes to play guitar. ”

And they’d be right. But it’s mostly the prostate-teasing plug in my ass that has me smiling more than normal, hiding my erection behind the microphone stand, and running backstage at odd times in the show to adjust myself.

I made sure to find Jensen’s seat before the show started this time so I could look out at the crowd and spot his smiling face—that smug bastard. I even grin down at him during his favorite song. On the next number, I do a little pelvic thrust move that drives the girls crazy. I hold hard eye contact with him for that part, and he narrows his eyes at me as I do.

But this instrumental bridge…this might be the death of me. It’s the first time I’ve ever genuinely worried about coming in my pants onstage in front of a few thousand people. At least I manage to play the chords correctly. That’s a new skill I didn’t know I had—playing the guitar while on the brink of an orgasm.

The toy isn’t the only reason tonight is different. I told Jensen I had a little something planned for him. And I’m slightly nervous about how it’s going to go.

After the wild song and the instrumental bridge from hell, I decide to slow things down. My band all head backstage for a break, and one of the crew members brings me out a stool.

With my guitar on my lap, I sit on the stool and bring the microphone to my lips. Gazing out at the crowd, there is nothing quite like this feeling. Just me, alone, in front of twenty thousand people.

And yet, it’s still somehow intimate.

I glance down at Jensen’s section and notice him checking his watch. Nine forty-five on the dot. Then he looks up at me with a tilt of his head and a quizzical look on his face.

I strum a new melody softly on my guitar. “I’m doing something a little different tonight,” I say into the microphone. I tug my earpiece from my ear, and it’s so quiet in the arena that I can hear my guitar playing on my lap.

“I don’t know if my record label is going to like this, but I’m going rogue,” I say, and some of the crowd cheers.

“You see…I wrote this song just a couple weeks ago,” I say, and they cheer again.

My hands are shaking, and for the first time, I’m nervous. It has nothing to do with the stage or the crowd, but rather, one person in it. And what I’m about to say.

Here goes nothing.

“Y’all know that stage of a relationship, when things are new, and you can’t get enough of the other person, and they just make you so fucking happy?”

I brave a glance up and find Jensen in the crowd. He’s watching me intently, the expression on his face serious.

“Y’all know that moment when you realize…that you’re in love with the other person. And that moment just feels like…magic.”

The crowd loses their minds, but my gaze doesn’t waver from him. I can see the moisture in his eyes, even from here. Then he gives me a subtle head nod, and I know he feels the same.

“Well, this song…is about that. This is for you. You know who you are.”