Page 12

Eleven

Isaac

T he show in Vegas is rowdier than normal. Which I guess is to be expected in Vegas. Afterward, security has to escort me from the venue to my bus, and they won’t let me stop for pictures.

“This is crazy!” Lola says as she runs by my side. As soon as we’re alone on the bus, she collapses onto the couch. “You’re getting to be a very big deal, Theo Virgil.”

“Who knew there were so many fans in Las Vegas?” I ask, pulling a beer from the fridge.

“Theo, these fans are everywhere,” she says, unlacing her boots. “Have you even seen how viral your songs are getting online? Or are you too busy flirting with that hottie from Phoenix?”

Grinning around the bottle as I bring it to my lips, I reply, “Obviously, the latter.”

“Well, either way, I think you should prepare yourself for how popular you’re getting. This is the kind of fame that changes a person’s life.”

“It’s already changed my life,” I mumble, leaning against the counter.

“I know, but I’m trying to say…this is the kind of fame that makes it much harder to keep secrets,” she adds.

“Maybe I’m tired of keeping secrets,” I reply.

When she stands up, she gives me a look of sympathy, and I already know what she’s about to say. I just wish it wasn’t true.

“Just make sure you’re the one coming out before someone else does it for you.”

“I know, Lo.”

She touches my shoulder before walking toward the back of the bus to steal the bathroom first. I know she’s right, and I wish I wasn’t stuck in this limbo. Afraid to come out but more afraid of being outed. Afraid to be myself but tired of having to keep myself hidden. Wanting to date, but afraid that dating would ruin my career.

When I get out of the shower, there’s a new text on my phone, but it’s not from Jensen. It’s from Luke.

Hey. We have to talk.

That doesn’t sound good. I hope everything is all right with him and Sadie and Henry. Or maybe it’s about Mom. Or one of my brothers.

Before I start to panic spiral, I call him. He answers on the first ring.

“Hey,” he says into the line.

“Hey,” I reply as I run the towel over my head to dry my hair. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” he says with concern. “I just want to give you a heads-up about something.”

“That doesn’t sound good,” I reply. Sitting on the couch, I brace myself for bad news.

“Caleb just called me,” he says. “Apparently, our dad has won an appeal in court.”

“What does that mean?” I ask.

“It means that whatever judge they put on the case has decided to lessen his charge from attempted murder to aggravated assault. They still have to go through sentencing, but there’s a chance he could get out early if he wins.”

“You’re joking,” I say as I let this news hit me.

“I wish.”

“What did Adam say?” I ask.

Lucas huffs. “He’s still too angry to speak to anyone. I’m afraid of what he might do if Truett does get out.”

My knee bounces nervously. “Yeah, that would be bad.”

“Honestly, Isaac, I’m more worried about you.”

“Me?” I ask with surprise. “Why me?”

“Because you’re famous now. Once Dad does get out, which I assume he will someday, he can easily find you. He could make some sort of statement about you. He could use your fame to his advantage. You’re the key to saving his reputation. And I don’t want it to get to that.”

Staring at the floor with the phone against my ear, I try to imagine my father doing that to me. Lucas is right that he absolutely could. And maybe he would.

But I remember a very different man than my brothers do. I have this theory that my father feels more shame for me leaving than they think he does. But I don’t verbalize any of that.

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there,” I say. “For now, I’m not worried. Truett Goode can’t hurt me anymore.”

Lucas breathes a heavy sigh. “I wish that were true.”

For the rest of our call, we make small talk about Sadie and Henry and my tour. I hear the baby crying in the background, and Lucas says he has to go change his diaper, which makes me laugh.

Doctor Lucas Goode changing a diaper will never not be funny to me.

After we hang up, I lie back on my bed and think about my family. I wonder who is taking care of Mom now that Dad is gone and has ruined everything. How is she holding up during all of this? She and I talk from time to time, but always about me and never about her, and definitely not about Dad.

I wonder about Adam and Sage and their baby girl, Faith. I wonder about Caleb, who is now dating my ex, which isn’t weird at all.

It’s not often I truly think about my family like this. Mostly because it gives me more guilt and discomfort than I’d like. I’m a runner through and through. When things get tough, I get out as fast as I can. Never one to stick around to talk about feelings or, God forbid, feel them.

Suddenly, without reason, I call Jensen. He picks up after three rings. He sounds out of breath.

“Hey. How was the show?” he asks.

“It was good,” I reply, sounding despondent.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, picking up on it immediately. “Talk to me.”

“Can we FaceTime?” I ask.

“Yeah, give me a second. I’m just walking through the door.”

“Where were you tonight?” I ask to kill the time.

“Dinner with my parents. I try to go over there at least once a week.”

“That’s nice of you and actually kind of appropriate for what I want to talk about.”

I can hear Jensen rushing. A door in the distance closes, and then, a moment later, he requests to video chat. As soon as I accept it, his picture comes into view.

“Naked again, I see,” he says with a low growl in his voice that makes my dick twitch.

“I promise I don’t do it on purpose.”

“You can call me however you want to,” he says. “Now, tell me what’s wrong.”

Jensen is on his couch, holding his phone and giving me his attention. I chew on my bottom lip as I consider how to say this.

Just say it, Isaac.

“I’m thinking about my family,” I say.

“Okay,” he replies with concern. “What about them? Did something happen?”

I have not told Jensen about my dad, and I don’t plan to. It’s embarrassing to have to admit to someone that your dad is a pervert and a hypocrite on top of being a homophobe and bigot. Not to mention, I’ll never let Theo and Isaac cross.

“I’m thinking that I might be ready…”

“Ready to go home?” he asks.

“Yeah.”

“First of all, do you feel safe doing that?” he asks. I’ve noticed that Jensen has a very protective side. He’s constantly trying to shield me, even when there is no threat.

“Yes,” I reply with a nod. “Let’s just say…my dad was the problem, and he’s no longer in the picture. I’d just be with my mom and brothers.”

“And they support you?” he asks.

“Without question.”

“Then talk to me. Tell me why you’re second-guessing it. What are you afraid of?”

I lie down on my bed and prop the phone up on the pillow next to me. Then I turn toward Jensen as if he’s lying on the bed with me.

“It’s been so long. What if I feel like an outsider? What if they’ve all moved on, and it doesn’t feel like my home anymore?”

“Then fuck them,” he says, which makes me smile. Jensen doesn’t often curse, but when he does, it’s that much more enjoyable. “Listen, Theo. They are your family. But if they don’t have your back and love you unconditionally, then you have every right to distance yourself. You will find people out there who will be there for you without question.”

“Why the hell are you so wise?” I ask with a yawn. “I still feel like such a kid sometimes.”

“You’re not a kid,” he says. “And you don’t give yourself enough credit. But have you thought that maybe running away at seventeen might have impacted the way you grew up? That might be why you still feel so naive. Because you didn’t get a chance to mature.”

Jensen lies down on his couch, propping his phone up on his coffee table so it’s like we’re both lying together.

“That’s a really good point,” I say.

“If you want, I could go with you,” he replies.

Immediately, I tense. I’ve never taken a boyfriend home, ever. If that’s what he is. My boyfriend.

“You don’t look too excited about that,” he says with a chuckle.

“No, I am,” I lie. “I mean…I want to be. That offer is amazing. And I think I’d like that very much…”

“But it’s moving too quickly,” he says, finishing my sentence. “I understand.”

“I’ve just never brought home a guy before.”

“Neither have I.”

“Except for a boyfriend I had in high school, I guess,” I add, thinking about Dean. “But he started as my best friend, and no one really knew we were messing around.”

Jensen growls low in his chest and it causes a flash of heat to gather in my cock.

“I don’t like hearing about your past boyfriends,” he says with a serious tone.

“I think I like you possessive.”

He growls again, and it makes me smirk.

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, that guy is now sort of married to my brother.”

Jensen’s eyes widen. “What do you mean…sort of married?”

I haven’t seen Dean or Caleb’s wife, Briar, in over a decade, but I find their story too fascinating not to share.

“Well, my brother is married to a woman. But then…they sort of brought this other guy into their marriage.”

“Your ex,” Jensen says to clarify.

“Yep.”

“Wow… Is that weird for you?” he asks.

I shrug. “I used to worry about Dean. But now, he seems happy. I mean…who am I to judge how people live their lives?”

“None of us should,” he replies.

I yawn again.

“Why don’t you get some rest? I’ll see you in two days.”

“Thanks for letting me vent,” I reply sleepily.

“Anytime. And there’s no rush to make a decision. When you’re ready, you’ll know.”

I nod before rolling over to hit the lamp on the wall next to the bed. But I don’t hang up. I don’t want to say goodbye.

“I’ll stay right here,” he whispers when my eyes finally close.

“I can’t wait to see you,” I reply, half-asleep.

“I can’t wait to see you either.”

“Jensen,” I whisper.

“Yes, Theo?”

“I’m coming into your hotel room this time.”

He growls softly into the phone line, and I smile with my eyes still closed. Just before I drift off, I hear him say, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”