Page 7 of The Lady’s Reckless Abandon (Safely in Scotland #1)

“W ould you be interested in taking our noon meal out by the lake? It has turned into a lovely day, I feel we should enjoy it,” Finn suggested. The spring in Scotland was a fickle thing. Days that were almost overwarm followed by a frigid chill. And then days when there were both.

Lily nodded. “That sounds nice.”

They had left Juniper’s room, and Finn hoped to move on to happier topics. Not that thinking of Juniper was unwelcome. But he didn’t want Lily to find him morose. Even if he was.

He found Mrs. MacDougal and told her of his wishes. She assured him everything would be ready within the hour. Lily went to her room to ready herself for the meal and Finn went to his study to see to any mail that had arrived.

No doubt in the next few weeks he would receive a missive from the Marquess of Devon with news regarding Lily’s fate. He hoped the man was not one of the bullheaded louts he saw in the House of Lords who cast dispersions on anyone who didn’t do as they aught.

He, a married man, who had a mistress, if Finn had deciphered Lily’s unease correctly, would turn out his own daughter for being lured into a situation by a man who’d promised marriage? Finn would have something to say about that if it came to be.

Juniper had always complained about the different set of rules for men and women. What he was encouraged to do, she was not allowed to do. At the time, she’d been speaking of climbing trees and wearing breeches. But she would have found this situation to be similar.

Men were encouraged to sow their wild oats, but where exactly were they to sow them when women were to remain virtuous until marriage? Finn had never visited a bawdy house. He’d seen what could happen when a man trifled with the wrong lass.

Finn’s first experience had been with an older woman from the village who’d taken a liking to him. And the few women he’d been with since had been widows looking for comfort and someone to warm their lonely beds for an evening or two.

But Lily made one mistake in trusting someone who had made promises and she was considered ruined. Her father would have trouble finding her a husband if the story got out.

Oliver knocked at the door.

“Everything is set up at the lake, Your Grace.”

“And Lady Lily?”

“She has just arrived downstairs.”

Finn nodded and got up. He would have to solve the world’s problems another time.

He offered his arm and led Lily out to the small table and chairs that had been set up for them. The light meal was served on their arrival and the footmen left them to eat in quiet.

And it was extremely quiet.

The woman was silent, abnormally so. Or at least it felt it should feel that way. In truth, he didn’t feel any irritation or resentment coming from her as a cause for her silence. It just seemed she was a quiet person.

Having listened as she spoke of her family, he heard more of what she hadn’t said.

Being the fourth daughter with a large age difference between them would have most likely been enough of a reason to have been ignored. But to have been born minutes after the marquess’s heir, she had surely been born directly into the shadows. And that shade had probably grown dimmer still when the spare was born only months later.

Finn thought it explained why Lily had maybe jumped at the chance to find happiness for herself, and why she had not employed enough caution to save her from scandal.

While sitting next to her as they enjoyed the mild day, and the picturesque view of the lake, he felt comfortable in their silence, but still, he found himself speaking.

“You are very quiet, and coming from me, that is something to be sure. I am usually the one accused of being uncomfortably silent.”

“I’m sorry. It’s certainly not the company.” She offered him one of her enchanting smiles and he wondered how the arse had been able to walk away from such a lass. He’d surely never find anyone more lovely.

Perhaps now that her anger had faded, she was feeling the pain of having her plans to wed tossed aside. Did she miss the man who’d betrayed her?

“Are you thinking about what has happened and what to do next?” He couldn’t bring himself to ask if she was thinking of him. For some reason he feared his reaction if she was pining for the man.

“Maybe. A bit. I believe it is common to return to an event in one’s mind, and think of how one might have done something differently. Even though there is no sense in such things. There’s nothing to be done now. As you so elegantly put it, one cannot un-ring a bell. It is over. It has happened, and now I must forge ahead as best I can. It doesn’t help that I don’t know yet if I will be welcome in my home.”

“Yes. I understand.”

“I can’t imagine a duke has many regrets.”

“I would have agreed with you years ago. I guess I’m having trouble finding my feet now. I should have built other relationships. I have my friends, of course, Shay and Reese are quite entertaining. But perhaps it’s time to marry and start my own family. Though the thought of taking on such an endeavor seems tedious. And I fear my loneliness would make me less discerning.”

She nodded.

“I see now that was a big part of why I was quick to run off with the ferret-faced arse. I was desperate for someone to see me. To want me. I fear I fell for his ruse completely because I so much wanted to believe he loved me. Now, as I sit here gazing out over this lovely view seething and hating him, I realize I didn’t love him at all. How could I with his ridiculously hideous laugh? He sounded like a young girl being eaten by an orangutan when he found something funny.”

Finn could not help but to laugh at her description of the man.

“See, now that is a fine, manly, laugh. I’m not worried I’ll be called upon to save a child from a primate attack.”

They were both laughing in earnest now. He found her laugh to be lovely as well. The sound was filled with joy. It made him feel lucky to be near her. And her humor, especially in spite of all the reasons she had to mope about was endearing.

“My sister would have enjoyed your sense of humor,” he said, wondering if he had laughed so hard since Juniper had died. She was always able to make him laugh and often did things to make him spit out his drink at the table. Earning them both a stern look from their parents. “You must think me a sot for moping about my sister as I am. It’s just, she was my very best friend. I knew it when she was alive, but maybe not to the level as I realize it now. I fear I took her for granted in the way one does when they didn’t tell the other person how special they were.”

It was odd that this strange woman whom he didn’t know well at all had already made him feel more at peace than anyone else had since June passed. He would keep that to himself so not to frighten the poor woman.

“I have a rather large family, though we are not close, it is something to just know they are there. I had always thought it good to know I had someone I might depend on if I were to need them. But now that the time has come, I find I’m not sure what I should expect from them. This might be too much.”

She shrugged as if she knew she could do nothing to change their minds. He hoped her family saw her as the joy she was and would welcome her into their open arms to comfort her from her heartache.

“I can’t speak to how your family will respond to your predicament, but I can tell you if I had the chance to have my sister back, ruined or no, I would be there for her no matter what.”

“I guess we will see. It’s times like this that will test the bonds of family.”

“Indeed.”

The clouds grew dark just as they finished eating so they walked quickly toward the house.

“We can finish our tour if you are up for seeing the rest of the castle,” he suggested, not wanting to leave her alone. He knew well how being alone made a person think more than they should on things they had no control over. He wished to spare her if he could.

“Yes. That would be lovely. So long as I don’t have to guess anymore. I was horribly bad at it.”

“You won’t have to guess.” He stopped at the room across from the ballroom. “This is the music room,” he said as he opened one of the double doors. He expected her to peek inside and they could then move along, but she stepped inside, her gray eyes alight with excitement.

“Do you play?” she asked him.

“Nay. My sister and my mother did.” He watched as she traced a slender finger over the polished wood of the pianoforte. “Do you play?” He guessed she did by the interest she showed in the instruments.

She shrugged as he was learning she did often when she wished to cast attention away from herself.

“I am proficient.”

“Will you play something for me?” he asked.

As if she was glad he’d asked, she slid onto the bench and tested the keys for a moment. Tilting her head to the side as if confirming it played correctly.

He was prepared to tell her she played beautifully regardless of her talent, for it was clear enough Lady Lily had not been given enough compliments in the past. But as she began, he knew there would be no need for false pleasantries. She did play beautifully.

Heartbreakingly so.

The piece was complex with a slower, somber song winding inside a faster, lighter melody. The fingers on both hands were a blur as she moved across the keys with something exceeding mere proficiency. She was a master.

Even more impressive was she played such a complicated piece with no music. The composition rose higher and higher and he felt his breathing had picked up, so caught up in the sounds her fingers made. And then it fell to a few simple, soft notes and he blinked away the stinging sensation in his eyes.

He clapped with gusto and after he cleared the tightness from his throat, he said, “Your modesty was misplaced, Lady Lily. That was far more than proficient. I have never heard anything so amazing in my life.”

Her cheeks tinged pink and she looked away. He was set on breaking her out of such an impulse. Perhaps her family didn’t understand what a treasure she was, but he already had in this short time.

“If it pleases you, perhaps I will play in the evenings.”

“I will definitely take you up on your offer. This castle has been silent for far too long. How did you come to play so well?” Her skill was far beyond what young ladies usually learned from a music instructor.

“I have had plenty of time to practice as I waited my chance to attend a season.” She rose and went to the harp. Taking a seat, she settled the instrument into position and began to play. Once more he was in awe of the sounds she managed to coax from the strings.

When she finished playing the harp, she picked up the flute sitting on the table and played a merry tune. But one he didn’t recognize.

She moved on to the guitar, and after a few strums and adjustments of the tuning knobs, she plucked a gentle melody that filled the room with its resonance.

She reached for the lyre, and after playing something lovely on that instrument as well, she all but rushed to the place where the violin waited as if for her hands to wake it from its long rest. The sound as enthralling as it was as she played the others. When she finished, she smiled at him.

“The flowered rooms are lovely, but I do think this room is my favorite,” she said with an impish grin.

“You play everything.” Before she managed to lift her shoulders, he said, “Don’t shrug off such a talent, Lily.”

She pressed her lips together, but the smile broke free.

“In truth, I have not played to my fullest potential in front of anyone before. At least not for a long time. When I was younger and would try to impress my family with my playing only to have them talk over my efforts or ignore me completely, I decided it was easier if I didn’t expose my own creations to such indifference.”

It took him a moment to understand.

“Your own creations? You mean you composed all those songs.”

“Yes.” With a nod, she added, “Just now.”

“Just—you created such beautiful music while you played?” When she nodded again, he was nearly speechless. “Someone given the opportunity to practice such compositions for years would not have been able to play them with such skill. You have a gift, Lily.”

“Thank you. I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

“Enjoyed it? Nay, I was moved by every note you played.”

She stood and came to stand next to him as if she was ready to continue on with the tour of the castle. As if she did not realize she’d touched his very soul with her music. While he felt as though he’d been awakened from a dark slumber.

“Thank you,” he said simply, though it was not nearly enough.

“Of course. I will be happy to play for you during my stay. Might we consider it a small repayment of your generosity?”

He understood the need for one to rise above charity and make their own way, and would not deny her a way to offer value in exchange for her stay. So rather than explain how unnecessary it was, he simply said, “Yes. That would be a fair exchange.”

Lily all but beamed at him and he worried he had risen from his slumber into uncertain waters.