Page 6 of The Lady’s Reckless Abandon (Safely in Scotland #1)

W ith her letter to Matty written and sent on its way, it seemed there was nothing left to do but wait for a reply.

Lily walked next to the duke as they strolled the garden. It was a chilly day, as early May should be. Not like yesterday when she’d felt as if the fires of hell had already had her in their grip.

The duke told her how his mother loved flowers and had shared that love with his sister. The fondness with which he spoke of his parents and sister nearly brought tears to her eyes. She hurt for this man who had been part of such a loving family and was now all alone in this big empty castle.

In many ways they seemed opposites. His parents had clearly adored their children. While she was often forgotten. She’d seen the look of pity in his eyes when she’d confirmed she was the only child of the marquess whose name didn’t begin with ‘M.’

She could only imagine how much worse it would be if she’d told him how that had come to be. And before she thought to do it, she opened her mouth and began speaking.

“When Maxwell was born, he was taken out to my father who, I’m told, nearly shouted from the rooftops that he had an heir. He was so pleased to have a boy, he didn’t realize my mother had given birth to me as well. My mother told me he went straight to his club to share the news and didn’t actually find out he had another daughter for a few days. My mother had always liked the name Lily but my father was steadfast with naming his children with an “M” after him. So, she named me Lily in what, I later realized, was probably spite.”

“It is unique then. Special.”

“Yes.” But if he thought her name or even her dark hair and gray eyes would make her stand out among such a herd of blond-haired, blue-eyed, perfect children, he would be wrong. She needed to change the subject.

Here with the duke, it was just the two of them. It seemed odd to have someone’s direct attention without having done something wrong to earn it. She found she rather enjoyed talking with him. A real conversation.

“The violet room is quite lovely. What other rooms are there?” she asked because the duke’s amber eyes seemed to light up when he spoke of his sister.

He held his arms out wide, gesturing toward the flowers around them.

“Pretty much every flower represented out here has its own room inside the castle.” He smiled before asking, “Do you wish to try them all?”

She laughed at such a thought.

“I would like to see them, but I’m quite comfortable among the violets.”

“I will give you the tour this afternoon. While chilly, it’s a pleasant day, would you join me for luncheon by the lake?” He paused and then added, “It is well in the shade.”

She brushed her finger over her nose, where her skin was still tinged pink from her exposure the day before. What a difference a day made.

Yesterday she was miserable, heartbroken, and angry, and today she was strolling with a duke and laughing.

She didn’t know how she might thank him for what he’d done for her.

She glanced over at the tall man walking next to her and once again noticed how handsome he was. Maybe not handsome in the way Reggie was, that lying ferret, for the rake was brimming over with dimples and charm. She saw such things now for what they were. Bait to lure in unsuspecting women who were desperate for anyone to notice them and pay them the smallest attention.

How pathetic she was.

The duke had stopped walking and it took her a few more steps before she noticed.

“You are thinking about him,” the duke said while nodding toward her hands which were clenched into fists. She released them slowly and then shook them out.

“I feel like such a fool. Not even a month into my first season and I fell for such an obvious trap.”

“Your first season?” he asked, that pinch of confusion between his brows she was coming to know.

“Yes, though I’m two and twenty. I should have known better.”

“Why was this your first season?”

She welcomed the exchange of one uncomfortable subject for another.

“My mother takes to times of melancholy and has been unable to launch me into Society until now.”

“Surely your other sisters could have stepped in.”

Lily shrugged, realizing how tragic she must seem to someone who had been part of such a loving family. She decided she would rather speak of Reggie than have the duke look upon her with pity.

“I am wondering if I was the first woman to fall for this trick or has the rotten oaf lured other women to their demise with that same ruse.”

The duke sighed. “I imagine if he was such a skilled liar, he has had at least some practice.”

“You have not asked his name.”

The duke grinned at her.

“I rather enjoy hearing the names you create for him. I fear his actual name would be dull in comparison.”

She smiled at that, but a moment later, he gave a more serious answer.

“I don’t know so many Englishmen, I spent much of my time here at the castle until my sister passed. Of the men I know, I certainly don’t know any so disreputable to do such a thing to a lass. I feel speaking his name gives him an honor he doesn’t deserve. For now, at least, he shall only be known as a feckless sow.”

She giggled at the new name.

“Thank you, Your Grace. Your kindness gives me faith not all men are so horrid. The truth is, I am not normally so careless. I have always been a good daughter.”

“All the more reason your parents should afford you this misstep. Everyone makes mistakes.”

She didn’t think the duke capable of mistakes. He surely hadn’t made any thus far in her opinion. He was actually quite perfect. And handsome.

She clenched her fingers into fists again, but this time it was in anger at herself. She was still entangled in a horrible scandal because she had allowed a man to blind her with his charms, and here she was getting dreamy-eyed over the duke. Because he’d done little more than be a decent human being.

No one was perfect, not even the duke. She would not allow herself to fall into another trap. Not ever again.

The tour of the castle took the rest of the morning. Not only were there a copious number of rooms, but they had turned the tour into a game in that she was to guess which flower would be found behind each of the doors.

She hadn’t guessed correctly. Not even one time.

“You are quite horrid at this. I’m sure you will guess this one, since it is your favorite flower, or at least you believed it to be initially,” the duke said with a crooked grin.

“No fair. You’re not to give hints,” she scolded but he only laughed.

“If I don’t give you a hint, I fear you will not get even one correct guess.”

Hamming it up, she placed her finger at the corner of her lips and squinted toward the ceiling.

“Let me think. Could it be hyacinths?”

“Now you’re being obtuse,” he teased as he opened the door to what was clearly the Rose Room. Large cabbage roses took up the fabric on the draperies and bedding. A number of paintings of roses were hung about. Some showed roses blooming on a bush, while others showed them cut and displayed in a vase. The walls were a deep pink and the rugs were a deep red.

“This is quite atrocious,” he said. “I feel like I can smell the stifling scent of the blooms by just looking at them.”

“You don’t like roses, Your Grace.”

“Too much time spent in ballrooms with women who drenched themselves in the smell.” With a mock shiver he pulled the door shut and nodded to the next room.

Lily pressed her lips together thinking of what flowers they’d seen already. Maybe using the process of elimination would help. They’d seen daisies, and marigolds, and black-eyed Susans. There’d been lilacs and irises, and primrose. She knew it wouldn’t be violets because they hadn’t reached the room she had stayed in.

“Pansies?” she guessed with a wince.

His eyes seemed to shift from amber to green as his lips pulled up in a smile and he opened the door with a flourish.

Paintings of pansies filled the room.

She squealed with delight and even executed a little hop and clap.

“Well done, you.”

She stepped inside and admired the paintings.

“Your sister was very talented. All of these paintings are so beautiful.”

He nodded, but said nothing.

“I’m sorry if talking about her is painful. Forgive me.” She couldn’t imagine being so close to a sibling as to think of them as one’s dearest friend and then to lose them.

“Nay. It is actually nice to speak of her. It’s just…” he trailed off. She thought he might not say any more but eventually he continued. “Her paintings came about when she became ill. So to me, I remember feeling like I was losing her when all she could do was sit in her bath chair and paint.”

He moved past the next two rooms and opened the one at the end of the corridor. The room was filled with paintings of white lilies on light green walls. The drapes were a soft yellow and the bedding was white. And next to the window sat a wheeled chair with intricate carvings. Of course, the duke would have had the most beautiful chair commissioned for his dear sister.

An easel and a tin of paints still sat by the deep-set window.

“I used to sit in here while she painted and we would talk about all manner of things. Occasionally she would have a seizure, and for some time, I paused upon entering because I didn’t like being there when she had a fit. She was always exhausted afterward and I would worry she would not wake up again.”

Without thinking, Lily reached out and put her hand in his, giving it a soft squeeze to show her sympathy. When she realized what she’d done, her breath caught, but before she could remove her hand, he squeezed her fingers back and she heard the words he did not say aloud. Thank you.

“I wish I had such a strong tie to any of my siblings. We’ve never been close like that. I didn’t know to miss such a thing. But now I do and I find I miss something I’ve never had. How silly.”

“My sister would mock me relentlessly for saying this, but I have no patience for the silly activities of the ton. It was why I left London so early in the Season. It all just seems so insignificant. The balls, the card games, so trivial.”

“I understand. I am two and twenty, quite old for a lady to come out, but as I said, my mother was otherwise engaged in recent years and there was no one to escort me to events, so I waited. All the time I waited I was certain I was missing something of great import. The man that was supposed to be mine could have been attending a ball at that very moment and meeting someone who wasn’t me. I thought I was missing out on everything my life was supposed to be.”

“Were you?”

“No. When I attended my first ball, I found it quite boring. The lemonade was not even good.” They laughed. “And I was supposed to agree to dance with anyone who asked, even if I had no interest whatsoever in the man. In truth, it felt like a waste of time. As if my life was passing by and this was the thing I had to do until I met the person I was meant to be with. So I could finally start living.”

“Yes. I too, feel like I’m in stasis, waiting to start living again. Though I’ve moved around from here to London and back again, hoping to find the thing that will push me into living.”

“And then you found a stray woman sitting on the tavern steps and she has certainly ruined all your plans.”

He shook his head.

“No, Lily. While I wouldn’t have wished this heartache on you, it has at least given me a purpose for the moment. So I thank you for needing me. No one has needed me in some time.”

Their hands drifted apart and Lily missed the warmth of his palm against hers. How silly she was thinking of a man like that after what had happened. Had she learned nothing from her fall from grace?

Men could not be trusted. Even kind men like the duke who seemed surrounded by sadness. And even worse, she could not trust herself. She was not above having her vision clouded by a few sweet words and a warm touch.

She needed to be more aware of her weakness, so not to fall prey for another man’s tricks.