Page 22 of The Lady’s Reckless Abandon (Safely in Scotland #1)

F inn caught Lily before she hit the ground at his feet. He spared only a moment of smugness at the fact that he had made a woman swoon from his kiss. But when Lily did not rouse, even after he patted her cheek, his smugness was replaced by utter terror.

He carried her into the house and placed her gently on the settee in the drawing room while shouting for Oliver and Mrs. MacDougal.

“Oh, dear. What has happened to the lass?” the housekeeper asked as she bustled into the room.

“She’s fainted. We were walking in the garden and she collapsed.” He wouldn’t go into details on exactly what they’d been doing before she’d collapsed.

“Oliver, send for the doctor right away.”

“Of course, Your Grace.” Oliver scurried from the room as Mrs. MacDougal assured him it wasn’t unheard of for a woman to faint on a warm day.

It had been warm, but surely in the shade of the trees, it wouldn’t have been so warm to cause this reaction. He studied her closely and saw no evidence of a seizure. She was just lying still and pale on his settee.

“Why don’t you step out of the room?” Mrs. MacDougal suggested.

“I don’t want to leave her.”

“I thought to loosen her gown and stays so she might be able to breathe more easily.”

“Oh. Of course.” He reached over and touched her soft cheek, noticing the cool, clammy nature of her skin. Surely this had not been caused by his kiss. Something else was wrong.

He forced himself to leave the room as memories of his sister filtered in. How her illness started with headaches, and dizzy spells. And then moved on to numbness in her hands and feet until she could no longer walk and struggled to paint.

What if the same ailment had inflicted Lily? He couldn’t lose her, too.

Except, that he was about to lose her anyway. She would be returning to her family in London soon. They might not deserve to have her, but that was where she belonged. Or should belong.

He couldn’t help but think she belonged here with him instead. He’d grown attached these last months. He considered what he might do to entice her to stay with him and could only come up with one way to secure their fates.

The kiss in the garden had given flight to his soul, giving him a feeling similar to the way he felt when she played for him.

He was no green lad. He’d known several women, widows mostly, but none had ever made him feel like he felt when he was with Lily.

But marriage?

Was he truly ready, or was he desperate to keep her there so he wouldn’t be lonely? It wouldn’t be fair to ask her until he was certain it was for the right reason, not a selfish act. He would not end up being another weasel arse in her life.

He paced by the door to the drawing room, but Mrs. MacDougal didn’t come out to give him a report on how Lily faired. He was ready to open the door to check when the front door opened and a footman entered with the doctor.

“Thank you for coming so quickly,” Finn said.

“I was already in my coach heading home from another patient when your rider intercepted me. Where’s the lass?”

“In there,” Finn pointed to the room where he’d taken Lily. The doctor nodded and slipped inside without giving even a peek into the room.

“I’m sure she will be fine,” Oliver said. “I’m sure your mind has gone to the worst possible outcome, but she’s a healthy lass. The doctor said a wasting disease such as June’s was rare. Surely there’s no chance a second woman would succumb to such a rare illness in the same house.”

Time seemed to stand still as he paced in the hall, waiting for some word on what was wrong with his guest.

Finally, nearly an hour after he went in, the doctor exited the room with his lips pressed into a stiff smile. The kind one might manage when they had bad news to deliver.

“Is she well? What is wrong?”

The doctor held up his hand to halt Finn’s frenzy of questions.

“She is very well. Healthy as can be. It is good for the babe if the mother is in good health.”

“The babe?” he croaked, but of course, he understood what the doctor was saying.

“She might take to dizzy spells in the early months. Might also encounter some sickness in the mornings. Sour stomach is common.”

Finn nodded, unable to speak. He was still reeling with this news.

Lily was with child. The man who had tricked her into going with him to Scotland and left her in ruin, also left her pregnant with his child.

The doctor cleared his throat and leaned closer after checking the hall to make sure they were alone. Oliver had gone to the study to get Finn a dram of whisky to settle his nerves, so the hallway and foyer were empty when the doctor spoke.

“It isn’t uncommon for couples to anticipate their vows, but she’s getting quite far along, you’ll not want to delay much longer.”

“I understand,” Finn said, though it took a moment for him to truly understand what the doctor was saying. He’d assumed Lily was carrying Finn’s child. She was, after all, living with him. And even now, Mrs. Prichard was nowhere to be found. She was likely napping in her room. Who wouldn’t jump to such a conclusion that he and Lily planned to wed?

Hadn’t he just considered the thought of marrying her so she could stay with him? He enjoyed her company, and thought she cared for him. But now, she needed to marry. She needed him.

He nodded to the doctor again, feeling slightly dizzy himself.

“Aye. I think you’re right. We will need to move things along.”

The doctor gave him a hard pat on the shoulder before turning for the door and leaving the house.

The door opened again and Mrs. MacDougal came out.

“How is she?” Finn asked the woman.

“I can’t be sure. She’s very quiet, that one. But I can see her thinking and worrying.”

“Can I go in?”

“Aye. She’s dressed. I shall bring some tea.”

“Give us a moment, please, Mrs. MacDougal.”

“Ach, aye. Just open the door when you wish for me to bring it in.”

“Thank you for seeing to her.”

“Of course. She’s a precious thing, she is. Reminds me of Junie some. Such a sweet lass.”

He smiled, though he didn’t think of Lily at all in a sisterly way, so it was difficult for him to see any resemblance. When he’d kissed her that morning, he had wanted much more than a kiss.

As he stepped into the drawing room and closed the door behind him, he began to think of all the things he wanted with this woman, and how he might set things right for both of them. So they might both find happiness. Together.

*

Lily heard the door open and close, and then open and close again. She didn’t turn her gaze away from the gardens beyond the window. She watched the flowers sway in the breeze. So idyllic, the way they seemed so peaceful, while her life had just been turned upside down.

She recalled thinking her life ruined after that morning she’d awoken in the tavern room to find her betrothed had left her. And then she’d met Finn and found a happiness she’d never known.

She’d thought perhaps her life would not be so bad.

But now…

She didn’t know what she would do. Even if she could escape the scandal of running off to Scotland with a man she didn’t marry, she would not be able to hide a baby. Her father would not allow her to stay at his home as an unwed mother.

Would he ship her away to a convent? She’d heard the maids at home whispering about such a fate for unmarried girls who found themselves in a compromising situation. She’d listened to their gossip with some confidence she would never find herself needing to know the details.

Yet, here she was ruined even more than she’d thought she already was. Her plan to become a governess, or perhaps a music teacher to support herself was no longer an option. No one would hire her now. And how would she support herself as well as a child?

The silence surrounded her as she watched the flowers sway, but a clearing of a throat dragged her back to the reality she was not yet ready to face.

She turned to find Finn standing in the room, just a few feet from where she sat. How long had he been waiting there in silence?

“Do you know he told me there was no chance I could become with child until we were wed? I didn’t think that was right, but I believed him. For what reason would he have to lie about such a thing? And even if it weren’t true, it wouldn’t have mattered for one day wouldn’t make a difference. Would it? It was just one day. Except that one day has made quite a difference. The difference between me going back to my life in London and now having no clue as to what I shall do next.”

“Perhaps, you should stay here,” he said. Did his kindness know no bounds? She turned in her seat to face him.

“Do you mean it? You would offer employment? I thought to be a governess or a music teacher, but I could learn to cook or clean rooms.”

He shook his head. “Nay. I don’t wish to offer you employment.”

“Oh,” Lily said, but it took a few seconds longer for her to realize what he must have meant. She was in unfamiliar waters, but she knew enough about extramarital affairs from the way her mother and father went about. “You wish to keep me on as your mistress?”

“Good God, Lily. Of course not.”

“Then I don’t understand.” She was rather put out though she knew she had no reason to be. Especially not with the duke. None of this was his fault. Her life was in turmoil because of her foolishness. But couldn’t the man just say what he planned for her? She couldn’t just stay on in his home forever. He would eventually wed and have a family. Where would she go then?

“I don’t want you to stay as a cook, or a governess, or a mistress.”

“I cannot just stay here. As much as I enjoy the castle and especially your company, I will not be your burden any longer.”

“Then perhaps you will be my wife instead. I want you to be my duchess. Will you marry me, Lily?”

For the second time that morning, Lily was in danger of fainting.