Page 19 of The Lady’s Reckless Abandon (Safely in Scotland #1)

F inn worried Lily might try to escape through the door to the garden as intently as she stared at it. But her feet didn’t move to run, so he counted himself lucky.

Why had he been so rude as to just blurt it out like that? What was he thinking? Surely it was better if both of them had forgotten—or pretended to forget—about the kiss and went on as normal.

But he couldn’t forget. No. He didn’t want to forget.

Lily spared a glance up at him and then shook her head.

“I remember something. I believe it was simply a chaste kiss on the cheek,” her eyes were wide and her voice wavered. She was clearly lying and not very well.

“Was it?” he asked. He remembered the touch of her tongue against his. And then there was the matter of her telling his valet they had kissed. Still, if she offered them an escape, he would be cowardly enough to take it.

“Yes,” she said, nodding quite emphatically. “In fact, I was going to mention it as well, so no one worried it was more than just an expression of friendship.”

“Friendship. Yes. That is what I remember as well.”

They shared a look and soon they were grinning at each other. He thought he might tease her about calling him by his Christian name, but perhaps a less risky topic would be better.

“I believe everyone had an enjoyable evening. I thank you, again, for thinking of it. The celebration was just what we needed. After June died, we’ve all been rather stuck in mourning.”

“I understand. I hope your mother would not have been too scandalized by our attempts.”

He chuckled thinking of what his mother would have said if she’d learned of him kissing Lily.

“Is she the one?” she would have asked. Finn would have turned pink under her scrutiny and denied his interest. But that would have been the old Finn, the one that thought all girls besides his sister were to be avoided like peas.

He remembered something his father had told him when he was almost ten and six. “Kissing is better when you do it with someone who matters.”

Did Lily matter? Of course, she did. But did she matter in the way his father had inferred? He wasn’t certain, but as his head cleared and more of the memory solidified, he knew it had been a damn good kiss.

They were so busy avoiding any topic that could bring them back to discussions of kissing, Finn almost forgot about the post.

Picking up the stack Oliver had left with him, he flipped through until he stopped on one letter in particular. He had to read it twice before deciphering what it said, but there was no mistake. It wasn’t for him.

“A letter has arrived for you,” he said, thinking his voice sounded steadier than he expected at that moment. He felt as if he were holding his future in his hands. There was only one letter Lily was waiting to arrive. One letter that would come here addressed to her. It had to be—

“It’s from my brother. I would know his horrid scribbling anywhere. I’m surprised they could even tell where it was to be delivered.”

He and Lily exchanged a steady look before she took a breath and turned back to the letter. Breaking the seal, she opened the message, but stopped before unfolding it. Frowning, she held it out to him. “I can’t look. Please read it.”

He took the missive she’d practically shoved into his hand.

“Very well.” He cleared his throat and began to read, “ Dear Sister, I apologize —”

“No. Don’t read it out loud,” she said, while covering her ears.

“But how will you know what it says?” He couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped at her reaction.

“You will read it and tell me if it is good news or bad and then I will read it once I know what it says.”

He guessed he could understand the logic if one wasn’t sure what to expect and didn’t want to be caught off guard. With a nod, he turned back to the page and focused on the horrid handwriting so he could make out the words.

Dear Sister,

I apologize for the delay of my response. It is only that Mother fell into one of her spells and went to Bath. Max and I thought you went with her and I expected your letter to be nothing more than a telling of your activities there. Since Bath holds no excitement whatsoever, I hadn’t taken the time to open your missive before now.

I spoke to Father of the situation. He thought you were in Bath with Mother as well. But now that he knows you have gone to Scotland to visit a friend, he is requesting you stay there for the duration of the Season, as there is no one here to escort you to any ton functions until Mother returns from her recuperation.

I wish you well, Sister, and look forward to seeing you in a few months.

Your dearest brother,

Matthew

P.S. Max told me not to tell you, but he lost your mare in a game of whist.

He let out a breath and she frowned.

“Is it bad news?” she asked.

Finn rubbed his forehead in confusion. How could a family so easily lose track of one of its members? Especially one he found to be utterly enchanting. So enchanting, he’d kissed her the night before. And not like a bloody friend.

Lily’s face had gone pale, no doubt she was expecting the worst, and he was doing nothing to assure her. But in truth he didn’t know what to say, so he shrugged and held out the letter before saying, “I’m honestly not sure. They don’t seem to be cutting you off.”

*

Lily had watched as the duke’s amber-green eyes traced back and forth as he’d read the words on the page. His brows had come together, and a crease pinched his forehead. She’d thought he was scowling because he had difficulty reading Matty’s terrible handwriting. But when he’d finished, his hands fell to his sides and he’d looked at her blankly, before expressing his confusion.

Lily took the letter and read Matthew’s rushed words while wincing. In truth, it wasn’t as bad as she’d expected. But it wasn’t exactly good either.

She felt her face burn with embarrassment. She wished now she hadn’t allowed the duke to read the letter first. How awkward for this wonderful man, who had been nothing but kind to her, to learn that her family hadn’t even noticed when she had not returned? They didn’t know where she had gone and hadn’t cared enough to even read her letter when it first arrived.

Not to mention they wanted her to extend her visit with her “friend.”

Not knowing what to say, she shrugged. But it seemed he didn’t know what to say either.

“Your family… I—I don’t…”

She could hardly bear to stand there as he stammered with what she assumed was anger on her behalf.

“Don’t worry. I won’t stay on here. Now that I know my mother is in Bath, I will just make my way there.”

“Are you worried for your mother?” he asked. “Your brother mentioned a spell.”

“No. I’m sure she’s fine. It’s common for my mother to get upset with my father, and go off on her own. To be honest, I can’t actually be sure she is in Bath.” Lily didn’t want to have to explain how her mother had been known to take up with a lover when Father was not doting on her properly. She would throw a fit and go on her way.

Meanwhile, her father would stay out all night himself when her mother was not in residence. Lily knew he had a mistress, she’d heard her brothers speaking of it. Though when she confronted them Maxwell refused to confirm it, and Matthew said he didn’t know for certain. But then he’d winked.

She assumed her father was busy with such endeavors and that was truly the reason why he didn’t wish for her to come home. He wouldn’t want her to be witness to his debauchery.

Lily had not realized how disreputable her family was until she was facing the duty of having to explain it to a person whose family had been proper in every way.

“Your mother might not be in Bath? She might be… elsewhere ?” He raised his perfectly arched brow and tilted his head. They shared a silent communication of sorts before she nodded and answered.

“Yes. Elsewhere.”

He looked up at the ceiling, the letter he’d taken back from her was now getting crumpled in his hand as his fingers curled up into a fist.

“If you wish to go to Bath to see if your mother is there, I will accompany you. If you would rather stay here until the end of the Season you—”

“I couldn’t impose on you, Your Grace.” She shook her head. “That is, I can’t impose on you any more than I already have.” She also thought it might be a good time to take her leave before she had only kissed the man.

If she stayed here, she worried what her wanton body might do next.

“It is no imposition if I am extending an invitation. Or would have extended an invitation if you had not interrupted my attempt.” His lip pulled up in a playful smirk.

That smile, with the dimple teasing her, was enough to make her heart pound. She was at risk of giving into her base instincts. She feared the best place for her would be a convent.

“My apologies for my rudeness,” she said. “But I have come to know how generous you are in the time we have been acquainted. I thank you for the offer, but I have already overstayed. I should go.”

“Where?”

“Where?” she repeated.

“Where should you go? Your father has asked you to stay away from London and you are not fully certain your mother is in Bath. So where will you go?”

She frowned, for he painted a very bleak picture of her options, indeed. The truth was she didn’t know where to go. If she got the whole way to Bath and her mother wasn’t there, she wouldn’t be able to stay there alone. That was, of course, if she even had a place to stay. She would have to hope she would be given credit on her father’s accounts.

“You’re biting your lip,” Finn mentioned as his gaze studied her mouth intently.

It was a bad habit when she was nervous or unsure of something. While talking about such things with the duke, she was both nervous and unsure.

She pressed her lips together so as not to bite them. But also because she still didn’t know what she would say in answer to his question.

He let out a sigh and did his best to fold the wrinkled letter before handing it back to her.

“You are not a prisoner here at Gealach , Lily. That has never been my intent. I will take you wherever you wish to go, if for no other reason than I don’t want you to run off on foot again and become ill. But my sincere hope would be that in the absence of a solid solution, you might consider staying here with me, because I enjoy your company and I don’t look forward to staying on at the castle on my own. I would like you to stay.” He paused for a moment before adding, “I would surely notice if you were gone.”

“You make it sound as if my staying would be a favor to you,” she noted with a grin.

He nodded. “Aye. It is. I was restless in London, and I worry I shall be just as restless here if left to my own company.”

She studied his face for any sign he was only being polite, but saw nothing but sincerity in his hazel eyes, which were more green than amber at the moment.

She considered what his life would be like if she left. They spent a good part of the day entertaining one another and talking. Who would he debate on endless topics if she left? Imagining him here in this massive castle alone and missing his sister, made her heart hurt for him.

If she were the duke, she would long for someone to speak to, even if it was just a random woman with the worst sort of luck and no amount of good sense.

“To be perfectly honest—and I trust you and I are close enough by this point to be perfectly honest with one another—I would much rather stay here than go to Bath, even if I knew for certain my mother was in residence there. There is not much to do if you have no interest in spending your days floating about in foul-smelling water with a number of foul-tempered women.”

“Then you shall stay,” he said, making the words sound like both a statement and a question.

“Yes. Thank you, Your Grace, I would like that,” she said, thinking she might never want to leave, even when the Season was over and she was invited to come home.

She should have felt a wealth of relief to know her father would allow her to return. Only his disinterest was keeping him from taking her back.

But she felt as if a door was closing. All this time she’d hoped to get this news, well, maybe not exactly this news, but close enough.

Yet, she now found herself wishing the letter had not come. It was silly. The duke would not allow her to stay in his home forever.

But deep in her heart, she did find herself wishing she could stay.

She had one more month here at Gealach Castle, before the Season would come to a close and her family would leave London for their home in Cornwall.

One more month with Finn.