Page 27 of The Lady’s Reckless Abandon (Safely in Scotland #1)

L ily gave another longing look toward the door before turning back to her plate. She eventually gathered enough courage to look across the table to Finn. She worried she would see utter disappointment in his eyes, for what else could she expect? She turned into a mouse when in the company of her family.

Even after his set down before coming into the dining room, Millie and Maribel continued to bring up stories clearly set on embarrassing Lily in front of her husband. The boys had joined in, because the boys didn’t realize how such stories would make her feel. While they were oblivious, her sisters had been diabolical.

Except Martha, who sat there. She didn’t add to the stories, but she didn’t offer to change the subject.

She’d thought being married would change things. That they would be impressed, or at the very least not as disinterested as they had been. But this was worse. She’d somehow become a target of her sisters’ cutting remarks. When she’d usually been able to avoid their attentions, she was pushed into the light by her husband who was practically beaming at her from his seat at the other end of the table.

She blinked and found herself transformed into the Lily who made her husband laugh and smile. The Lily who made the duke shake and cry out her name in passion. He was looking at her the same way he always did. As if she was his very favorite person.

She didn’t understand how it had happened, but as she felt her lips pull up to return his calm encouragement, she squared her shoulders and faced her sisters as a duchess for the first time.

“This topic grows boring,” she said with a stern look at them.

Seeing their mouths hang agape caused Lily to smother a smile before turning her gaze back to her husband with a firm nod.

“I agree, Your Grace,” Finn said. “If in fact you were a gangly lass in your adolescence—which I can’t picture, mind you—you transformed into the loveliest of swans. Whilst others became old crows.”

“Thank you, dear husband. You honor me with your generous words.”

“As you honor me with your beauty and kindness.”

Her sisters fell quiet for the rest of the dinner, the boys took up the silence by talking about the trouble they’d gotten into. The marquess looked at the empty seat across from him where her mother should have sat and clenched his fingers into a fist on the table.

Lily wondered if he was upset with the boys or thinking about her mother. Surely, he couldn’t be jealous that she had chosen to stay wherever she was with a lover. Not when he’d spent many a night with his mistress.

When the time came to go to the music room, Lily felt her palms go damp. Perhaps this wasn’t the best idea. She knew she would be able to play adequately, but she didn’t think her skill would matter. Her sisters would still spit their venom.

She smiled at Finn and he smiled back. Tonight, she would play for him. Just as she did most nights. Because he enjoyed hearing her play. She would ignore all the others, for they were not who mattered to her.

It was odd that all this time she’d felt unworthy because they paid her so little notice. But now that she had a small bit of their attention she realized these people were not worthy of any more of her time.

She sat at the pianoforte and began playing. At first the room continued on in the usual chatter, but soon it fell into silence. By the time she finished, she expected to turn to find the room empty. But instead, she found her family sitting in shock. Except for Finn, of course, who was smiling at her the way he always did when she finished a piece.

“I’ll wager you’ve never heard that piece before. Because she created it herself,” he said proudly.

When her sisters were able to close their mouths, their lips all pinched into frowns and sneers, but they didn’t hold the power they once had. For Finn was smiling and he was the only person that mattered to her.

*

“I’m sorry I ever thought you needed to invite these people to our home,” Finn started as soon as they were closed into their room for the night. “They are horrid. How were you spared becoming a wicked shrew like your sisters?”

“Martha is not so bad,” she answered.

“Only because the woman barely speaks.”

Lily shrugged. “In truth, I didn’t realize how horrible they are. It’s been some time since we’ve all been together under the same roof.”

“Except you’re not all together. Your mother is not here. I can only imagine where she is.” Lily had said her mother often went off from the family to seek other entertainments. She hadn’t been specific, nor had she needed to.

“I’m sorry,” she said, and he turned around so fast she jumped.

“Don’t apologize for them, Lily. You are even more amazing than I realized for having grown up with those people. And you are not at fault for their behavior and certainly not at fault for their being here. That rests solely on my shoulders.”

She smiled then and came closer, reaching up to rest her hands on his shoulders. “They are quite fine shoulders. Perhaps you would like me to rub them.”

“Perhaps if you’re of a mind to rub something, there is another body part I might recommend.”

She laughed and then squealed in alarm when he scooped her up into his arms and carried her to the bed. As soon as she got past her fright, she began tugging at his cravat.

She slowed when he kissed her, distracting her from her plan to remove his clothes. It was a shame for he wanted both things. To kiss her and to be freed from his clothes. He’d settle with divesting her of her own clothes first.

Slowly he reached under her skirt to roll down one stocking and then the next, tugging off her slipper with each. He thanked the gods for whomever put women’s laces in the back of their gown so he might kiss her while also loosening her stays. It was quite convenient.

He smiled down at her where she laid on their bed in just her shift. He could see through the thin fabric. The deep rose of her nipples, and the thatch of dark hair between her legs. He noticed the small bump between her hip bones and leaned down to press a kiss where their child grew.

“Good evening, Lord Haliday,” he said, using the courtesy title his heir would be given. She shook her head as she always did.

“You can’t be certain it will be a boy.”

“I would be happy with a lass as well. What will we name her?”

“We shall think on it. Later.” The last word was said with a saucy raise of her brow which changed his course. He sucked her breasts through the fabric until he grew impatient and raised it up over her head.

Moments later he had shed his clothes and boots and sucked in a breath as he slid home into her warmth. His cock twitched and he took a moment to steady himself before he could begin moving.

In the month they’d been married they’d hardly gone an afternoon without meeting up somewhere in the house to sate their needs.

“Today was the longest day of my life,” he said, making her chuckle for only a moment before her laughter changed into a moan of pleasure and he felt her body clamp down on his. He couldn’t withstand the call of her body, and he spent a few seconds later.

Falling back on the bed, they lay next to each other looking up at the canopy over their bed.

“We must send them on their way,” he said, and then added, “Tomorrow.”

“By the end of the week,” she countered.

“Very well. But not a day more.”

*

Maribel and Millie were in the drawing room when Lily walked in the next morning. She and Finn had missed breakfast with the family, preferring to share a tray in their room so they could be alone a while longer.

The women both looked up before Lily could retrace her footsteps. It was too late for her to back out of the room without their notice. She hoped to avoid whatever poisonous words they might say. Then she remembered what Finn had told her before they’d gone downstairs. “You are a duchess. You don’t have to stand for them to treat you badly.”

“Have you improved at all in your embroidery, sister?” Maribel asked with a look at Millicent.

“I’m afraid not. Fortunately, the duke does not seem to care that his pillowcases are plain,” Lily said with a smile at the memory of Finn’s hands clenching the pillows the night before when she’d sat atop him.

“I’m sure the man finds other things to think about while in bed?” Maribel said teasingly while Millicent giggled.

Lily rolled her eyes, which prompted more laughter from her immature sisters.

“The two of you sound like Maxwell and Matthew with your infantile jests,” Martha said as she strode into the room.

Lily offered her a smile, a small gesture to thank her sister for coming to her rescue, but Martha merely shook her head and took a seat at the end of the settee next to Millicent.

The three older Cantrell girls had always been close. Maribel, the perfect one. Martha, the quiet one. And Millicent, the entertaining one. All of them were equally beautiful with their fine features, golden locks, and bright blue eyes. Max and Matty had gotten the same coloring. Only Lily had darker hair and eyes.

“When are you due?” Martha asked a few moments later. Maribel and Millie went stock still and Lily sucked in a breath.

“What do you mean?”

“You are with child, yes? I’ve had six children. I know the looks of it. Your breasts are swollen.” Martha nodded in the direction of her chest.

Millie hooted with laughter while Maribel looked appalled.

“Of course, it makes sense now. The duke wouldn’t have married someone like you unless he’d gotten you with child,” Millie guessed.

She was wrong, but only in that it wasn’t the duke who’d gotten her with child. Lily didn’t say anything in response, and not just because her mouth was as dry as a desert.

“How far along are you?” Maribel prodded. “Married or not, if this child is born well before it should arrive, there will be a scandal.”

Maribel had no idea just how big the scandal would have been. But that had all been avoided because of Finn.

“She’s a duchess, there’ll be no scandal,” Martha reasoned. “And it seems the duke is happy with the match. However it came to be.”

It was a pity that Lily felt affection for Martha for such a poor defense of her, but it was better than nothing.

“Maybe for now,” Millie snapped, not willing to offer even the slightest compliment. “Soon you will grow big as this castle you live in, and he’ll turn to his mistress to keep him warm at night.”

Lily looked down at her folded hands. She couldn’t argue with Millie’s cruel prediction. She didn’t know what Finn would do. She didn’t know if he had a mistress in London. She knew he’d only married her to save her from scandal and worse.

She had no right to stop him from doing what he wished after the sacrifice he’d made for her.

“Not all men have mistresses,” Martha said, not taking her eyes off her needle and thread.

Millie sniffed while Maribel looked about the room with her lips pinched as if she’d just caught a whiff of something foul. “This is not a topic for ladies to discuss. It’s improper.”

“It’s improper because your Milton got his mistress with a babe?”

Maribel gasped before her eyes narrowed on Millie. “Your Edgar has more than a few bastards running about London.”

Millie sneered. “I don’t care what he does. When he’s rutting on his mistress, I can be pleasured properly by a very talented painter.”

Maribel’s face seemed to be stuck in that pinched expression. “You are not to speak of such things. Mother always said a lady should keep such things to herself. You will cause a scandal.”

“I do think if we were to take a sip of wine each time Maribel utters the word ‘scandal,’ we would be well in our cups in shy of half an hour,” Martha said quietly to Lily.

Lily looked toward her sister in surprise. Not just at her suggestion, but that the woman was speaking to her at all.

“I learned early on when you could get the two of them to turn on each other, you were well out of their line of fire.”

Lily looked back to her bickering sisters and back to the sister with the smug smile on her lips.

“You’re diabolical.”

Martha shared a conspirator’s grin. “I was the middle child until you and Max came along. I am cunning. I had to be.”

Lily chuckled quietly so as not to draw the attention of the others. Martha was right. Maribel and Millicent fought viciously without even noticing Martha or Lily.

“Thank you for coming. I didn’t think you would.”

“If I hadn’t it wouldn’t have been because I didn’t want to wish you well. Only that I am happiest at home with my husband and children. I know the two of them think me mad for staying in the country. But I don’t care about scandals or mistresses or dubious artists. I care only for my family.” Martha looked up at her then. “It might be more common to have a marriage like them. Like Mother and Father’s unfaithful union. But I hope you know there is something more than that.”

Lily nodded. She did realize it. She didn’t think she would ever have such a love match. Finn was kind and seemed happy with their marriage, but she didn’t think he loved her the way she did him. Even still, she knew she didn’t want the life of her mother or Lily’s two sisters who had devolved to calling each other names.

“You’re a prude!” Millie accused Maribel.

“Better a prude than a whore,” Maribel contended.

“Oh, dear. I do believe they will start slapping each other soon enough. Let us escape now.”

Setting down the music book Lily was holding, she rose and quietly followed Martha from the room. Outside in the hall, Martha went straight for the stairs.

Lily wasn’t sure if she should follow the other woman, but decided it was her home so she could go wherever she wished.

Martha didn’t stop until they got to the third floor where the nursery was. Lily saw the way Martha’s face lit up when her little ones noticed her and came running.

“Mama! Mama!” She crouched down so she was closer to their height and Lily found herself doing the same. The little angel with blonde curls and crystalline eyes came over to Lily with her thumb in her mouth. At three, she was the youngest of Martha’s children.

Lily noticed the other children. Maribel’s two daughters and Millie’s son stayed back watching the reunion in confusion. Lily was quick to include them in their playtime and Martha nodded in approval.

“You do not think yourself too important to enter the nursery. You will be a good mother, Lily.”

“I hope that’s true.” Lily had spent much of her life feeling unwanted. She would never allow her child to feel that way.