Page 57

Crew

“O h! I almost forgot!” Kota tapped me on the chest before shooting off my bed.

We’d been lying in my bed, not even fooling around, just napping. The more interactions like this that we had, the more and more comfortable I became with it, which was weird to me.

I knew I enjoyed spending time with her, and I sure as hell knew I liked fucking her, but my mind kept circling back to the question of Am I ready to commit myself to her?

We hadn’t had the conversation, and I was relieved about that, but it felt like the question was slowly and inevitably on its way to being asked aloud.

I never believed in commitment growing up. My parents crushed that for me. Their individual marriages may have still been intact right now, but hell, I wouldn’t have been surprised if those marriages fell apart tomorrow. I mean, my stepmother was obsessed with my best friend for crying out loud.

Was I ready to subject myself to every bad thing that could come out of commitment?

“What is it?” I asked, slyly smiling as I watched her hop up and down like Tigger from Winnie the Pooh.

Without a response, she squealed and ran out of the room.

I wasn’t sure if she wanted me to follow her. I sat up, and before I could even swing my legs around the side of my bed, she was back, her smile taking up half her face, hands hiding behind her back.

“You know how I’ve been drawing lately?” she asked.

You mean, attempting to draw? I responded in my head. “Yes,” I replied.

Kota climbed onto the bed, her voice sweet like honey. “I drew something for you.”

She handed the paper over, and immediately, I had no idea what the hell I was looking at. “Oh,” I smiled, “it’s a...”

A growl rippled from her throat, sounding like a lioness. “It’s you ,” she explained, pointing a stern finger at the silver and black blob in the middle. “See, that’s you skating and that’s your hockey stick and that’s the net that you’re about to put the puck into.”

“Ah,” I grinned, “I see it now.”

Sorta.

Her eyes narrowed. “Do you?”

“Yeah,” I lied.

With a sigh, she stood. “Alright, well I’ve gotta go change out of my sweats for class.”

“Okay,” I responded quietly, fingers sliding along the edge of the paper as I took in every detail. “Thanks for my drawing.” When she left the room, I hopped out of bed and hung the picture on the small bulletin board beside my desk.

Kota’s birthday was in two days, and we were planning on doing a group dinner at a nicer restaurant in town. I’d been wanting to get her a gift, but truthfully, I had no idea what.

I’d never shopped for a girl before other than my little sister who was a decade younger than me. My mind had reeled the last few days on what a good gift would be. Each time I stopped and thought of some of her favorite things, it didn’t give me too many great options.

Comfy clothes. Taylor Swift. Snacks. Liquor posters. Smutty books.

There weren’t many opportunities there that were good enough for the standards I wanted to meet.

I got dressed before wandering down the girl’s hall to say goodbye to Kota.

Her door was shut but I could hear the ethereal tone of her voice, singing along to “Last Night.”

Immediately overtaken by a smile so strong that my face hurt, I refrained from knocking, not wanting to disturb her even though I’d pay a monstrous amount of money to see the private concert she was currently putting on.

It felt right to put “Last Night” on when I got into the car, and I listened to it three times on the way to the mall.