Page 20

Crew

E veryone was spread out around the living room, pitching prank ideas to me like they were goddamn salesmen.

The only person missing from our starting lineup was Lane.

I hated getting all soft and sappy, but I kind of missed him. We’d lived together for so many years now that it felt strange not seeing him every day.

He admitted that him and Bridget had caught Kota dying my gray boxers pink the other day and then saw her switching off the power to my room in the apartment’s breaker box so that I couldn’t see what I was grabbing.

Even though I was holding a tiny grudge against him for not being on my side, it still felt strange staying at the house without him here. It was making me a little sentimental.

Matt tapped me on the shoulder. “Are you still wearing the boxers?” He slipped his phone out of his pocket, pulling up his camera. “Can you drop your pants so I can take a picture?”

“Oh, fuck off,” I spewed. “Someone fucking help me before I lose my mind, please.”

“You can put a bunch of fake spiders in her room,” TJ pitched. “Or a snake.”

“Lame,” Cody blurted dully, uninterested as he tapped away at his phone.

I had to agree with him. That was hardly a prank. Kota would immediately realize everything was fake and then laugh in my face.

“What about real spiders or a snake?” TJ said, looking complacent like the idea was brilliant.

I shook my head, scrolling through more ideas on the internet. “Lane would kill me.”

“Draw on her face while she’s sleeping,” Matt suggested.

“Also lame,” Cody said.

Jett crossed his arms, using his feet to push himself further into the couch adjacent from me. “Why don’t you get her a porn package?”

I grumbled, “What?”

“Yeah, you’ve never seen those? You can get like a subscription where they send you a bunch of weird sex toys. Anal beads, wacky dildos, all kinds of shit.”

TJ blinked at him. “That sounds more like a gift than a punishment.”

My eyes jumped over to TJ, a little concerned. “Anal beads sound like a gift to you?”

“Well, for a girl!” he shot at me before snapping his mouth shut and sitting back in his seat.

“You’re gonna get her a box of dildos?” Matt asked. “That’s like something you’d get a girl when you’re trying to apologize.”

Cody’s phone plopped into his lap, his mouth tugging upwards, finally caring to join in on the conversation. “Is that what you got Carly last year when you accidentally fucked her friend?”

“It was Halloween, you dick! I was hammered!” Matt sank back a little as if it was still a sore subject. “And no, actually. I got her flowers.”

“Yeah, like a normal fucking person would,” I said, growing agitated. We’d been sitting here for nearly an hour and still hadn’t come up with anything good. “Who the hell would get a girl a dildo as an apology gift?”

Clearing his throat, Jett inched his finger back and forth in TJ’s direction.

“Please tell me you have not done that,” I said to TJ.

“No, I haven’t.” He pursed his lips, pouting as he stared off at the empty corner of the room. Folding his arms across his chest, he admitted, “But I did think about it once.”

For Christ’s sake.

“Wow, we’re learning so much about you tonight, TJ!” Matt laughed.

We were still hardly getting anywhere. It felt like I was getting pulled closer and closer to having to forfeit. Ever since we met, Kota had made comment after comment about my huge, disgraceful ego, and now, it seemed like she was aiming to destroy my ego.

I would be lying if I said being in a lecture hall with over one hundred people while I was worrying every second about making sure my hot pink boxers weren’t sticking out didn’t knock my ego down a few notches.

But what she didn’t know was that I was probably one of the only people on the planet that was as stubborn as she was.

My ego was too big to lose this war. I refused to forfeit. Even if she hammered the nails into my coffin and buried me alive.

“Well, the packages come with more than just dildos, you fuckheads,” Jett said. “There’s all kinds of shit. Fucked up stickers. Socks with dicks on them. Bondage gear. Strap-ons.”

I nodded along, envisioning what Kota’s reaction would be receiving dick socks in the mail. I didn’t think she’d be very pleased.

“I’ll put it on the list,” I said, writing it down in my notes app.

Matt’s phone buzzed on the couch between us. I glanced over his shoulder as he picked it up.

He gave a not-so-convincing sigh. “El again.”

“Answer it,” I said, trading wicked grins with Cody.

The moment the call connected, she was immediately spitting fire through the phone. “Your stupid fucking advice backfired.”

I was surprised she didn’t seem to catch the underlying satisfaction in Matt’s voice as he muttered, “Sorry.”

Leaning over, I hit the mute button so that she couldn’t hear us. “Did you give her bad advice on purpose?”

“No.”

“Mhm, alright.” I unmuted it and tilted my head to share the camera with Matt. “Hey, sorry that dumbass over here screwed you, but do you wanna help us out?”

“Define ‘us.’”

“Me,” I said. “Do you wanna help me out?”

El pulled her sexy mouth over to the side. “As long as it doesn’t include Matt. I’m mad at him right now.”

Scoffing, Matt went, “It’s not my fault that you go for guys that suck.”

Cody shouted across the room much louder than necessary. “What he really means is that he wants you to date him instead!”

“Awe, is that true Mattie?” she teased.

“No,” he groaned, his face turning a light shade of pink as he tossed the phone in my lap. I stifled a laugh, bringing the phone up to my face.

Goddamn. I didn’t blame him for wanting her. She was gorgeous. Her light brown hair was tied in a perfectly messy knot atop her head, two thin strands of hair framing her face. It was dark wherever she was, but I could still make out her clear skin and almond-shaped eyes.

“When are you coming to visit again?” I blurted out.

El smiled at the flirtation in my voice. “Why? Are you trying to make a move?”

“Yeah, Crew,” Matt growled beside me. “ Are you trying to make a move?”

I took my bottom lip between my teeth, trying to shield my grin, but failing.

“You know I’ll fucking kill you, right?” Matt said.

I believed him. He’d probably fight Kota on who would get the chance to drive the knife in. He couldn’t stand the thought of one of his best friends touching El before he ever got the chance to himself.

“Anyway...” I awkwardly shifted, “I’m trying to pull a prank on my roommate, and we can’t come up with anything good. Got any ideas?”

“I gave you a fucking good one,” Jett stated.

“Yeah!” TJ yelled. “Do the dildo one!”

El ignored the boys in the background, her brows drawing in. “Lane?”

“No, no, no. Her name’s Kota,” I said.

“You’re living with a girl?”

“Two, actually.”

She pulled back. “Uh, I don’t think I can help you.”

“What? Why not?”

“Because,” she snorted, “that’s so against girl code.”

“Ugh,” I whined. “You two would probably be best fucking friends, honestly.”

A leery note entered her voice. “What’s her name again?”

“Dakota,” Matt said over my shoulder.

“Last name?” El insisted.

Just as I was about to tell her to screw off because I didn’t like where this was going, Matt, AKA the one that’s been whipped for her since he was probably five years old, spoke again. “Darling.”

“Well, good luck with your little prank, Crew,” El smirked. “I’ll text you next time I’m gonna visit.”

Matt snatched the phone out of my hands. “You better not.”

She gave a little seductive, “Bye, Mattie,” right before hanging up.