Page 49

Crew

I t had been two days since I crashed Kota’s movie night and I was antsy as fuck for some reason.

My life would’ve been so much easier if I just had Kota’s location.

But considering we barely spoke a word for our first two months of living together, we never ended up sharing ours.

The temptation to scream at TJ and tell him to drive faster was tearing through me, and the only thing holding me back from doing it was the scorching anger that was aimed towards myself.

TJ was a coffee addict. If he didn’t get his daily fix, he was an asshole for the day. Not to mention, his addiction was so bad that he played hockey at a ten-year-old level if he didn’t have it. I wasn’t sure how that science worked, and TJ had tried explaining it many times to us, but the conversation always ended with the guys telling him he was a dumbass.

Regardless of the ridiculous amount of money he spent weekly at Starbucks, he’d somehow conned me into joining him on his run this morning before practice, meaning I was at his mercy on the way home since his foot was the one on the gas.

I wasn’t even sure why I was in such a rush. And that’s what made me annoyed with myself.

I’d grown used to having conscious, wet dreams of throwing Kota on her back and shoving my face between her thighs, but for the first time, that wasn’t on the forefront of my mind. Don’t get me wrong— all those dirty fantasies were still on a loop in my head, the same way the girls had Taylor Swift’s new album on repeat full blast throughout the apartment for the past week. Up until this point, every time I’d wanted to be alone with her, it was because I wanted to touch her, taste her, tease her.

But ever since the other night, I just felt like being around her in a non-sexual way. Which felt ridiculous given the way I’d done everything in my power to not breathe the same air as her for so long.

“What’s wrong with you?” TJ blurted.

“What do you mean?”

I refused to glance his way, even though I knew he was fixated on the road. “You’re being weird.”

“What do you mean?” I repeated.

The slight acceleration of the car made me hold back a sigh of relief, and I drowned the knot of nerves in my throat with a chug of the coffee that I didn’t even want, which had sat untouched in the car during practice, now cold.

“I haven’t seen you with a girl in I don’t even know how long. You haven’t even mentioned any recent hookups either. And now you’ve been shaking your leg like a leaf for the past five minutes.”

Fuck.

“The coffee makes me jittery.”

“Alriiiightttt,” he warily accepted, “that doesn’t explain the rest.”

The lie came out far easier than it should’ve.

“I guess I’ve just been taking a break from hookups.”

“You? Taking a break?” he scoffed in disbelief.

Apparently, I should’ve come up with a better lie. “I don’t know,” I said.

“Why?”

I nearly spit out that I’d been busy with a five-four fireball of a girl, with long, dark hair, and sinfully sweet lips.

But I knew that answer wouldn’t satisfy him. He’d push until he knew who it was. And if I was going to tell anyone about this disastrous, rule-breaking mess that Kota and I had going on, it sure as hell wouldn’t be TJ. He had the biggest mouth of anyone I knew. The kid never thought before speaking. The whole thing would spread like wildfire throughout the team until it found its way straight to the one person that I sure as shit didn’t want to find out.

Lane would beat my ass if he knew.

I’d given him so much shit about his crush on Bridget.

“Lane, it’s a bad idea.”

“She’s our roommate. It’s against the rules.”

“You’re gonna have to get over it, Lane. It can’t happen.”

And look at me now. I was the biggest hypocrite I knew. If Lane found out what had been going on between Kota and me, he’d lose his shit, and I wouldn’t blame him.

“Alright. I have been hooking up with someone,” I admitted, keeping it at that.

“Oh,” TJ smirked. “Who?”

“You don’t know her.”

“Bullshit,” he called.

“What do you mean, bullshit ?”

“I mean exactly what I said — bullshit . If that was really all there was to it, then you would’ve said that in the beginning.”

Hand clenching around my cup, my jaw tensed, and I stared out the window like I’d find my way out of this somehow written in the sky.

For how much of an idiot TJ was, I hated when he had moments of being smart.

TJ’s smirk turned insidious, a husky laugh bellowing out. “You fucked someone you shouldn’t have, didn’t you?” There wasn’t enough time in the world to come up with a good enough lie and I wanted nothing more than to smack that strangely entertained look off his goddamn face. I should’ve just jumped out of the moving car, honestly. “Who was it? Your roommate? El? Oh Jesus Christ, I hope for your own sake that it wasn’t El.”

“No! I didn’t fuck El.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure,” I hissed. “And I swear to God if I wind up dead because you babbled some bullshit to Matt, I’m gonna find a way to kill you from the afterlife.”

“Alright, alright,” he grinned. “So, what I’m hearing is that it was your roommate.”

“No, TJ. Fuck.”

“Which one was it? Kota or Bridget? Damn, if it was Bridget, Lane’s gonna be pissed. I think everyone on the planet besides her knows that he’s into her.”

“ Neither of them ,” I spat like poison. “Can you just drop it? I told you that you don’t know her.

With a huff of disappointment, he finally pulled up to our apartment complex. “I’ll find out eventually.”

“Mhm, alright.” I climbed out of the car and slung my bag over my shoulder, gripping my coffee so hard that I was surprised the cup didn’t crumple in my hand.

“Hey, wait.”

“What?” I snapped.

“Are you coming to the gym with us?”

My dark glare didn’t seem to affect TJ at all, no trace of intimidation on his face. Then again, he was one of the best defensemen in the country. Of course, he wasn’t afraid of me.

“No,” I said, forcing myself to keep my eyes on him instead of scanning the lot for Kota’s car. “I’m gonna nap before class.”

“Fucking lame.”

Eyes rolling, I said, “Suck my dick.”

“You know I’m not into that,” he joked.

My middle finger shot up. “Bye.”

Taking the stairs two at a time up to our apartment, I was uncomfortable by my own excitement at the thought of seeing Kota lying on the couch, curled up in her snuggie.

Maybe she’d have another rom-com on that I could join her for. Maybe I’d get close enough to make her heart beat sporadically like the other night, when I was able to hear it thumping against her perfect chest over the sound of Matthew McConaughey’s voice. Maybe this time, I’d sit a little closer.

But all those ludicrous thoughts weren’t enough to successfully manifest it. All I found on the other side of the door was Bridget lying in the same spot Kota had been the other night, her face practically smushed into the pages of a book.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” she greeted me, eyes not lifting in the slightest. When she realized that I was alone, her curiosity grew enough to acknowledge me with a glance. “Where’s Lane?”

“Uh, he had a meeting with our coach.”

“About what?”

There had been a few times where I thought that maybe Bridget was into Lane too, that maybe I shouldn’t have made him hold back when it came to being with her. If I had kept my mouth shut in the beginning, then we both wouldn’t be in messes right now. Very different messes but messes all the same.

“Our coach wanted his opinion on who should take his spot as captain next year when we’re gone.”

Her shoulders caved in slightly, innocent eyes saddening like a storm cloud was hovering over her. “Oh,” she nodded.

I was horrible at comforting people, especially considering I could hardly comfort myself when I was upset about something. I wasn’t sure what had made her vibe shift to somber, but since I did consider her as a friend at this point, I felt the need to say something .

“Are you... okay?”

“Yep,” she sat up. And just as quickly as that thunderstorm had appeared above her, it disappeared, all sunshine and smiles coming back.

“Alright...” I said. “Where’s Kota at?”

“She’s at the gym, I think.”

Guess I was going to the gym after all.

***

My eyes caught her ponytail the second I walked in. Even if I hadn’t been looking for her though, she would’ve been far too easy to spot, being the only person in the gym whose eyes were flitting around like she had no idea how she got there.

With a single glance over her skintight purple leggings that clung scrupulously to her round ass, filthy images came to me like a flashback.

My pulse quickened as I walked up behind her, slowly approaching like a lion creeping up on an injured antelope.

“You look lost,” I said, causing her to jump. I’d meant to say it casually, but the second the words rolled off my tongue, the intensity in my voice became clear.

Kota’s surprise was unmistakable as she turned, brows furrowing with a bitter glare. “I’m not lost.”

“Alright,” I offered a nod, “not lost. Just confused.”

A groan caught in her throat as her hand dug into her hip, and as easy as it was for me to lie to TJ earlier, I didn’t have the same ability to lie to myself.

I was a bit turned on.

“I’m not confused,” she griped.

“Not confused, huh?” Gesturing to the nearest machine, which just so happened to be a Lat machine, intended to help work out your back muscles, I said, “After you then.”

Kota stared at me like she could strangle me if there weren’t witnesses around to see, and I stared back with amusement, wondering if she’d admit she had no idea how to use it or if her stubborn side would win.

Ultimately, her stubborn side won.

She sat down on the bench seat— backwards, might I add. I crossed my arms, biting my lower lip to hold back laughter while she struggled to reach the handle. As she pulled it in the completely wrong motion, I spoke, “You’re gonna hurt yourself.”

“I know what I’m doing.”

I shook my head, one hand gripping the handle to stop her mid-rep. My other hand found its way to her wrist, guiding her off the bench seat. The velvet touch of her skin was enough to give me a dopamine hit.

Her voice came out sounding disgusted, as if she hadn’t been begging for my touch days ago. “What are you doing?!”

“Oh, so now I can’t touch you?”

“No.”

“Don’t even,” I dared.

She huffed. “Don’t even what?”

Leaning in until my breath was skating across her neck, my voice dropped low. “Don’t even pretend like if I bent you over this bench right now that you wouldn’t happily take it and scream my name in front of everyone.”

Giving a light tremble, she didn’t express another rebuttal. I turned her around and pressed down lightly on her shoulders so that she was sitting the right way.

“What are you doing?” she asked again, this time much quieter.

“Helping you.”

“I don’t need help,” she insisted.

Pausing, I looked right at her. “Kota.”

“What?”

“Can you quit being stubborn for one damn second?”

With another groan, she crossed her arms, giving a pout. I took that as her accepting my offer and explained to her how to properly use the machine.

Surprisingly, Kota listened to my explanation without interrupting, before quietly grabbing the handle the way I’d just taught her.

As she pulled it down correctly this time, I smiled lightly. “There ya go.”

A familiar sight caught the corner of my eye and a chuckle rippled through me before my fist shot up to shield it.

Immediately, a deep scowl was sent my way, so sharp that I could feel it tearing at me like a cat digging its claws in.

“Are you laughing at me?” Kota growled.

“No, no!” I panicked, fearful of the growing rage in her eyes. I jumped forward, squatting beside her. “You see that guy over there by the leg press?”

“Yeah.”

I kept my voice low. “He has his back to us right now but just wait for him to turn around. He’s here all the time and I swear he has that same shirt in at least five different colors.”

With thin patience, she curiously watched.

The guy chugged his water before wiping down the machine, and the moment he spun around, Kota’s small hand hovered over her mouth, shoulders bouncing with a giggle.

His bright blue t-shirt read “Milfs love me” on the front, and you could tell who in the gym was a newcomer or a regular based on if they were staring or not.

The group of guys nearby him didn’t bat an eye at the sight, yet a girl on a treadmill was gawking so hard that I was impressed she didn’t lose her footing and slide right off the thing.

“Now, I don’t know about you,” I said quietly, “but I’m pretty confident in saying there’s probably not a single milf that loves him.”

Kota laughed, a full belly laugh. The sound penetrated straight through me, and I gaped at her, awestruck. It wasn’t until she looked back at me with a trace of confusion that I realized I’d been smirking like an idiot.

“What?” she asked with a delicate, lazy smile.

I nearly forgot my train of thought. “I made you laugh.”

Making her laugh was almost more satisfying than making her blow smoke out her ears or making her moan my name.

As quickly as I could snap my fingers, her smile was gone, that mask of hers returning. “Well, you said something funny.”

I stood back up straight. “Are you hungry?”

“Eh,” she shrugged. “Why?”

“Do you wanna go eat?”

Kota blinked at me like I just spoke gibberish. “Eat?”

“Yeah,” I said. “As in... consume food .”

Her eyes narrowed, and I nearly got heat stroke from the flames suddenly radiating off her, regardless of how much she resembled a cute teddy bear just minutes ago.

“I understand what the word eat means.”

“Okay, so...” I trailed off, waiting for an answer.

“I’m confused.”

“By?”

“You wanting to be seen in public together,” she said.

“We’re in public together right now,” I pointed out.

“Not by choice,” she responded, strutting past me. “For all I know, you followed me here.”

Fuck.

I stood silently, worried that any response would give away the fact that I kind of did follow her here. I caught up to her, struggling to do so even though her legs were nearly half the length of mine.

Suddenly, Kota swung around, causing me to abruptly halt.

“So, are you going to be paying for this food?”

My brows knitted, unable to read her expression. I had no idea what answer she was looking for.

“Yes?” I guessed.

Her eyes widened in fear, sending every brain cell I had left into panic mode.

“No?” I corrected myself.

“Good,” Kota sighed a breath of relief, walking away again. “Because this isn’t a date,” she barked over her shoulder.