Page 95 of The Good Vampire’s Guide to Blood & Boyfriends

NO!

He’s super old and powerful, he kinda freaks me out, that’s all.

Cole

Don’t worry, I promise you’re still my favorite vampire.

Brennan

You might be my favorite human

Aw, do I get a trophy? A plaque?

Cole

Don’t test me, or I’ll put it on a t-shirt.

Nellie

Thanks for the heads up hey watch where you’re going ash hold

Sorry voice to text.

Sunny will keep an eye out and I’ll let Quinn know to stockpile more blood than usual. We’ve got this covered.

bloodsucking memes for immortal non-teens (new england clan)

QUINN MILLER

The annual New England clan reunion VAMPIRE BALL will take place at the Old Florence Inn outside Boston. Join vampires and humans alike at our annual celebration, where vampires can mingle freely with humans in one place.

*Remember that for the safety of the clan, hunting is not permitted in protected areas. Read more from our “So You Want to Kill a Human” pamphlet. Humans will be present, and secrecy must be maintained. If you have concerns about blending in, please reach out to Nellie, Sunny, or Quinn!

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It seemed far too easy to be real, but the last two weeks of the semester passed with Brennan jumping at shadows without any event. Without any disturbance in the area, in fact. Whatever strange “animal attacks” had been causing disruption had stopped, for now.

Life dared to go on.

Brennan went to classes, went to the library, and readBreaking Dawn,slowly but surely. He scoured through pamphlets for history on the vampire ball of 1928, which didn’t seem to exist anywhere in Nellie’s literature. A pamphlet on the New England vampire ball was just about the tradition of it all, without specifics. Clan history mentioned Nellie and Sunny assuming leadership in 1928, but not how or why.

He once stayed holed up in his room for so long that Tony knockedon his door, concerned, offering—of course—a bowl of pasta. Brennan couldn’t stand to say no to the extended kindness, so he took it, swallowing down retches, and when he closed the door on Tony, he dumped the bowl out the window into the alley behind their building. He and Tony might be peripherally friends, but Brennan would not sit with Tony’s garlic sauce for anyone or anything.

Even Mari seemed to tentatively tolerate him duringBacheloretteNight, though Brennan’s vampirism was something of an elephant in the room. Tony still didn’t know.

Then there was Cole.

They spent their nights in the library flirting like they always did, except now their feet pressed together under the table, or they held hands, or they smiled all sappy at each other across the stacks because they knew they both felt the same way, somehow. They still ended up keeping each other company late at night, and if they weren’t crashing at the other’s place, then they were falling asleep on the phone talking about anything and everything.

A few things were different. Half the time their work in the library devolved into making out in the stacks, the way Brennan had always secretly wanted to.

“You have no idea how many times I wanted to do this back then,” Cole had said against Brennan’s mouth after dragging him to somewhere in the 600s.

Half bewildered that this was his life and half unbelievably turned on, Brennan said, “I should have known, you bringing upTwilighton the first day. You were practically throwing yourself at me.”

Another week went by, and no attacks. Nellie told him they were keeping their guard up but they wereoptimistic.

Yet vampirism, always determined to find new and creative ways to ruin Brennan’s life, continued to make its presence known.