Page 105 of The Good Vampire’s Guide to Blood & Boyfriends

MERRY CHRISTMAS! I’m glad you became part of our lovely vampire family

Tony

DICK my HOLES with ows of USSY !!! Happy HOLIGAYS to my favorite HO HO HOES !! Make sure you keep your HOT TIGHT chimney open WIDE for old saint DICK’s CREAMY egg nog ! Send to 5 of your NICEST or NAUGHTIEST HO HO HOES to wish them a SLUTTY DICKMAS!

Btw I got a bunch of new xbox games so I’ll be claiming the TV for at least 72 hours after we get back

Mari

Cole said to say merry christmas to you so this is me doing that.

Merry christmas

Dr. Mom

What was that?

Are you okay? Do you need water or something? I have advil in my purse

Brennan

I’m good!!! Give me 5 minutes.

Brennan

My fangs came out while talking to my mom. How do I make them go away?

Nellie

Have you been drinking enough??

Brennan

Yes!!!

We were talking about boys…

Nellie

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Try a cold shower:p

A letter, Cole to Brennan

Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agendaby Becky Albertalli

You’re a modern queer man, so you’ve obviously seenLove, Simon.But before there wasLove, Simon,there was an offbeat gay rom-com book by the one and only Becky Albertalli. I read this thing all in one go, hiding in the school library. I was twelve years old and had barely admitted I was gay to myself, let alone anyone else, and here was this openly queer book. I didn’t want anyone to see me reading it, but I couldn’t put it down. And then, suddenly, it was like, I realized happy endings are possible for queer kids? Before that, all I heard about gay people was that they were going to hell.

I told my parents I was gay when I was sixteen, and I don’t think they could have been more disappointed in me.

Then the next year, Noah died, and they didn’t talk about it. About Noah, or about me. Just about my future, what they wanted for me.

It’s so black-and-white, between here and on campus, you know? Like I flip a switch and shut myself off to make room for all the stuff they want from me.

I’m tired of them seeing me as who they want to see, instead of who I am. Does that make sense? Like I’m their lovely hardworking business-major son, and that’s all. Not that I’m a coffee aficionado, or a record collector, or GAY. I’ve been trying to fit into their image, afraid to disappoint them. But maybethey’rethe ones who need to change, not me.

I’m almost halfway through college, two and a half years away from being a full adult, and I won’t be relying on them for tuition anymore. (I’m grateful for them, of course, and I know I’m privileged to have had their help this long!) I won’t have to be perfect anymore.