Page 5 of The Good Vampire’s Guide to Blood & Boyfriends

“This looks bad, probably, right? I’m gonna say this probably looks bad.…” Brennan trailed off as Cole slowly, deliberately rubbed his eyes with closed fists and blinked hard. “Would you believe that I’m a talented acrobat and this is an unbranded Capri-Sun?”

“I—You—” Cole stammered, then settled on, “Fangs?”

Well. So much for secrecy. Brennan was never a good liar.

“Okay, so,” Brennan said, palms out like he was talking to a skittish animal, “I’m maybe a vampire.”

The words hung in the air for all of a minute before Cole started laughing, light and confused, until it morphed slowly into a horrified what the fuck that pulled Brennan from the tidal wave of panic in his brain.

“What the fuck!” he said, laughter edging toward something unhinged. “Is this a joke?”

Brennan’s life? Yes. Absolutely, on a cosmic level.

He said, drawing out each word, “I don’t think so.”

“You don’t think so?” Cole’s voice went progressively higher, but he was frozen to the spot on the stoop leading into Michaelson. “Either you are a vampire and you did just jump out of a window and drink a pint of donated blood, or you didn’t. ”

Fuck. Shit. He went through a litany of curse words in his head but carefully said none aloud. His mother would be proud.

“I know it sounds—ridiculous, okay, but it’s a developing hypothesis.

This is still new to me. That was actually my first time drinking human blood.

A week ago, I didn’t even eat meat!” Brennan’s brain and mouth were moving too fast, and he knew he was rambling, but he needed to fill the silence.

“My mom made me watch a documentary about factory farming when I was in high school and we went vegetarian together.”

Okay, no. This was irrelevant and Cole was looking at him like he was insane.

Read the room, Brooks. Brennan cut himself off and stopped pacing, foot tapping restlessly in place instead.

He faced Cole and silently pleaded for him to say something, anything.

Cole was stock-still, mouth twisted in a strange wobbly frown.

“So, the library. With the vampire books?”

“Research,” Brennan confirmed.

Cole plucked up the joint he’d dropped and lit it with the urgency of someone who didn’t know what else to do. He shook his head a few times, apparently at the entire situation. Brennan couldn’t blame him. He still didn’t know how to process this.

Cole took a long drag. “You’re telling me vampires are real,” he said, gesturing with the hand not holding the joint.

“In some form? Yeah, I’m coming to that conclusion. It’s not like Dracula or Twilight, the rules are all weird and—I mean, most importantly: I don’t sparkle.”

“Disappointing.” Cole sniffed.

Brennan huffed a laugh before he remembered to resume panicking.

What would Cole do? Who would he tell? Brennan barely understood what was going on himself, and now this random blanket-toting, joint-smoking Southern gentleman would run to call the nearest priest as soon as he was sure Brennan wasn’t about to maul him.

Cole finally moved to take in the empty street.

God, he was probably making sure there were witnesses so he didn’t get murdered.

The streetlights flickered off as the first rays of sunlight rose above the line of maple trees and brownstone apartments.

It was barely September, but an early-morning chill was settling over the college town.

“I hate to even ask…” Cole started.

“Go ahead,” said Brennan. “I doubt I have the answer either way.”

“Should I be scared?”

Brennan choked down the acrid smell of smoke, curled and uncurled his fingers. He looked helplessly back to Cole, who sucked on his joint and stared Brennan down through narrowed eyes like that alone would give him answers.

I hope not, Brennan almost said, and then, I don’t think so, but neither of those seemed good enough.

“I’m figuring it out,” he said instead.

Cole laughed. “Well,” he said, almost to himself, “if you’re stealing donated blood, then at least I know you’re not, like, attacking humans in the streets in secret.”

“That’s the goal, yeah.”

“That’s not so bad,” Cole decided, tilting his head and taking another long, deep hit.

“Cole!” A voice called down from the open window Brennan had jumped from. “I can smell you smoking down there, are you gonna come help me or what?”

Brennan’s eyes cut to Cole, ice crackling down his spine.

“Did I not mention?” Cole whispered. “I’m helping my friend with some stuff for the school’s blood drive.”

Of course he was.

“What, are you making friends down there?” A head of dark, curly hair peeked out the window from above.

Brennan flinched away, hoping to conceal his face. Even if there wasn’t blood on his face, and his backpack wasn’t visible from her viewpoint, she had a good view of his bleached hair and could probably pick him out of a lineup, if it came to that. God, he hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

Cole turned over his shoulder but kept his eyes on Brennan as he called up, “Always, Marisela. I’ll be right up!”

With Marisela disappearing into the building, Brennan swallowed hard as Cole considered him. This kid, in the wrong place at the wrong time, could make or break Brennan’s life as a vampire before it had even really started.

“Here’s the deal,” Cole said, conspiratorial, leaning forward with a secret in his eyes. All Brennan could do was follow, drawn like a magnet. “I won’t tell anyone, as long as no one’s getting hurt.”

“But?” Brennan prompted.

“But,” Cole said, “in exchange…”

Brennan braced himself. This was real blackmail material. He could want anything.

Cole grinned, wicked, and said, “You read Twilight , and give me live updates.”

Brennan blinked. “You’re kidding.”

Cole shrugged, seeming awfully pleased with himself. Brennan wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or deeply, deeply concerned.

“Yeah, uh, how high are you?” Brennan asked.

“I believe it’s ‘Hi, how are you?’” Cole said, giggling, which was an answer to Brennan’s question in itself. “So, whaddya say? Deal?”

Cole didn’t go so far as to reach out a hand to shake—maybe that was too much trust, even when stoned—but it felt like an important offering. A lifeline.

Brennan took it gladly.

Sometime after stealing blood from a blood drive, making a back-alley deal with a campus cryptid, and walking home, Brennan’s phone vibrated in his pocket.

He didn’t open it until he got home to his place, passed Tony playing Apex Legends on his Xbox, and dropped his backpack at the foot of his bed. He flopped dramatically onto his bed face-first, and after a long moment, finally checked his phone.

His stomach dropped right out from under him.

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[Unknown Number]

We know about you.