Page 13 of The Good Vampire’s Guide to Blood & Boyfriends
ANYTHING GOES AT THE WAFFLE DEN
A Pamphlet
By Nellie Adams
What Your Clan Can Do For You
1. Orientation
Turning can be a difficult transition. We help new turns navigate vampire life to find their best self. (For more information about navigating vampire life, see “Finding Your Best Vampire Self, Living Your Best Vampire Life.”)
2. Protection
As part of the clan, you are protected both from other vampires and from humans.
We ensure secrecy is upheld and address any rogue situations.
At least one leader of each clan has a significant power rank to be able to protect from larger threats that may emerge.
(For more information about how your clan leaders are equipped to defend the clan, read “Lead, Guide, Connect: The Clan Leader Handbook.”)
3. Blood Supply
Through decades of deals and through the hard work of our blood-bank operators, we are able to maintain a consistent flow of blood to prevent thirst and unwanted biting. (For more information about managing thirst, see “The Modern Vampire’s Guide to Drinking Blood Safely and Politely.”)
4. Community
Being a vampire can be a lonely experience, but peers in your clan can offer support, understanding, friendship, or mentorship. You don’t have to go through anything alone. (For more information about mentorship opportunities, see “Apprenticeships and Arcane Arts: Finding a Mentor.”)
5. Individualized Coaching
Your vampire clan leaders are here to guide you through this experience.
Regardless of your skill or interest, there is a way for you to get involved.
More important, if you are unsatisfied with your experience in the clan, we can discuss options.
(For more information about changing clans, see “When Your Clan Isn’t a Good Fit: Requesting Transfers” and “Finding Your Clan: Vampire Lifestyles to Suit Every Need.”)
What You Can Do For Your Clan
1. Support Your Fellow Vampires
As you become part of the community, others may turn to you for help, advice, or companionship.
It’s important to have solidarity with your fellow vampires and support them in their endeavors.
(For more information about meeting fellow vampires, see “Get Connected! Engaging in the New England Vampire Community.”)
2. Uphold Secrecy Expectations
We all have to do our part in protecting our existence as an urban clan that coexists with humans. Please familiarize yourself with our secrecy expectations by reading “New England Clan Bylaws, Part 12: Maintaining the Veil of Ignorance.”
3. Volunteer Your Time
There is always a way to intersect your unique skills and interests with the unique needs of our clan!
From helping organize events and talking to new turns to mastering the arcane arts and researching ancient relics, there is always something exciting to be done!
See your clan leader about opportunities in your clan and neighboring ones.
The pamphlets were going to be the death of him.
There was no way to organize them. There were more than he’d thought, and some of them unfolded a dozen times and had pop-ups and foldouts.
A few had notes on Post-its, or scribbles in the margins.
Some seemed to be directed toward very specific situations that Brennan couldn’t imagine happening twice.
Worse, the majority of them looked to have been reproduced on the world’s shittiest copying machine, shadowy and difficult to read.
It was an academic’s nightmare, on par with the loss of the Library of Alexandria.
Brennan didn’t know where to start with a system.
There was no rhyme or reason to the titles, so alphabetical was out.
One little brochure spanned a variety of subject matter, so dividing by topic wasn’t viable.
They all referenced one another without any page numbers or table of contents and— He needed to start over.
First he had to interpret the hieroglyphs that were his “orientation” folder.
It was late at night, late enough that the library and the two terrible food joints were the only places open. Naturally, he was at the library.
It was nearly empty, and blessedly quiet.
He’d glanced around, half expecting to see Cole talking down a depressed freshman around every corner, but couldn’t spot him.
Then he’d found the most isolated corner of the stacks he could hide in, sat down on the floor, spread out the maze of booklets, and started reading.
He didn’t know how much time had passed when a voice pulled him out of his headspace.
“‘So You Want to Date a Human’?”
Brennan got whiplash from jerking toward the voice so quickly. Cole was leaning against a cart of books, reading a stray pamphlet with delight. He continued, “‘A Vampire’s Guide to Interspecies Relationships and Sex—’”
Brennan shot up from the ground to snatch the pamphlet from Cole’s hands. He nearly took them both out in the effort, but caught himself just in time, pressing the pamphlet protectively to his chest.
“Please don’t touch things,” Brennan said, “I have a delicate system here and…”
He trailed off as he belatedly processed that he was too far into Cole’s space. He could feel his warmth, hear his pulse. Pink crept into Cole’s cheeks and washed over his freckles. The line of his jaw was frankly unfair. Brennan’s brain turned to static.
Brennan stepped back, static bursting into silence and replaced with one thought. He’s cute.
“My deepest apologies,” Cole said, and was he playing up his accent or was it just coming through thicker than normal? “You’re clearly running a well-oiled machine; I wouldn’t want to get in the way.”
The tornado of pamphlets and zines and printouts stared them down.
Brennan cracked.
“If I stare at these pamphlets any longer I’m gonna start imagining them talking to me.”
Cole’s lips quirked in the beginning of a laugh. “It just so happens I was thinking the same thing about the books I’m supposed to be shelving.”
“Sounds like we both need a break,” Brennan said. “Or mental help.”
“Both,” Cole agreed, then gestured at Brennan’s spread of information. “Like, where do we even begin to unpack this?”
“The vampire meeting was interesting.”
“Clearly.”
“Now I’m trying to organize their ungodly collection of 2000s Microsoft WordArt pamphlets into something resembling an index.”
“Naturally.”
“That’s basically where I’m at.” He paused. “What’s your damage?”
Cole laughed. Brennan did not melt at the sound. “I have to shelve the rest of these before I can leave.”
“Right,” said Brennan.
“And I don’t want to.”
“That’s tough.” Then he crossed over to the cart of books, scanned the spines, each clearly labeled with numbers and letters. At this point, Brennan probably owed Cole one, and he could use a distraction. “Can I help?”
Cole placed a protective hand on the books on the cart. “You don’t have to do that, it’s my job.” Brennan plucked a book from the end of the stack and scanned the shelf for its home. “Besides, it’s not alphabetical, it’s—”
Brennan slotted the book into place and Cole’s mouth shut with a click. A beat passed and Cole inhaled a shaky breath. Brennan worried he had somehow offended him.
Behind him, Cole spoke, voice low, “You know the Dewey decimal system?”
Brennan turned. Cole was eyeing him with a strange intensity that made his skin prickle the same way it did under the sun—strange, but not unpleasant.
“I practically grew up in libraries.” Brennan shrugged. “They were the one thing that was the same no matter where we moved.”
It was why libraries always felt like a safe space—why here, at night, he and Cole alone on the floor, he dared to let Cole know him.
Brennan peered back at the books and focused on the task at hand, methodically scanning the cart and shelves. Cole stepped up beside him and reached for a book, shifting it back and forth in his hands.
“You moved a lot as a kid?”
Brennan huffed a dry laugh. “Yeah, you could say that. As a kid, as a teen. Basically until I came here.”
“That must have been hard.” Cole joined Brennan in shelving. Brennan kept his attention on the books so he wouldn’t get distracted by the heat of Cole’s eyes on him.
“I read a lot,” Brennan said. He meant, I was lonely .
“Me, too,” Cole said. “I had this little group. Me, Mari, and my brother, Noah. We grew up together and we’d trade and take turns reading books.”
“Like a little book club.” Brennan smiled.
“Yeah.” Cole went a little quiet, took a little too long staring at a book’s spine, before he added, “But then in high school, Mari started getting busy with all her APs, and Noah started hanging out with these, like, cliché bully assholes. I joined the school book club, but it wasn’t the same, and eventually I got used to reading on my own. ”
“Like the rest of us losers,” Brennan joked.
They shelved books for a few minutes, Cole moving the cart down the aisle as they progressed.
Brennan liked the easy monotony of it. Straightforward, repetitive, absolute, a predefined system that Brennan could easily fall into.
He could almost be absorbed by it, and ignore the annoying flutter in his chest whenever his eyes caught on Cole’s hands for a beat too long, which was happening more and more often.
What could he say, the guy had nice hands.
Brennan went to break the silence. “You know—”
“Um, actually—” Cole started.
“Oh,” Brennan said. “You first.”
“I was just gonna say,” Cole said, mouth twisting sideways as he considered his words, “if you need someone to talk to about all the vampire business, you know, my metaphorical door is open. What were you gonna say?”
Brennan suppressed a smile. Somehow, they were on the same page. He had set out to do this thing right—on his own. But Cole already knew, and maybe Brennan needed a second opinion. Or a friend.