Page 131 of The Good Vampire’s Guide to Blood & Boyfriends

Tony

this is a group chat not an intervention

Mari

yeah but I WAS wondering that

what do u want

Tony

pls imagine she said that politely

Mari

don’t undermine my tone, it was what it was.

Brennan

I was wondering if I could talk to you both.

Mari

is that not what’s happening?

Brennan

In person?

Mari

make your case here and I’ll decide if you’re worthy

Tony

for the record I’m telling her to be nice but she’s not listening

Brennan

Look, I like to think we’re friends. Outside of Cole and outside of all the vampire stuff.

Tony

I still don’t really understand the vampire stuff

Mari

cole’s my main bitch. you’re a side ho, at best.

but yes, technically and arguably we would be considered friends

Brennan

Great, so glad you clarified.

Tony

don’t listen to her, she’s secretly rooting for you guys