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Chapter thirty-six

Hazel James

Before I asked Emmett if I could talk to him, he told me he wanted to talk to me . My stomach churns with nerves as I sit on the couch, a cushion between us. Through the windows in the living room, I can see June jumping on her trampoline. She’s doing a ‘front flip,' a.k.a. a forward roll, in between jumps. I’d told her–and myself–that I would tell Emmett everything, so I don’t want to wait without him at least knowing I have something to say.

“I know you said you wanted to talk, but something happened at June’s school today that I wanted to tell you about. And I had some things to say that sort of went with that too,” I ramble.

He gives me a gentle smile, but I can see the concern in his eyes. “You go first, then. I can wait.”

“Are you sure?” I question. “You seemed rather antsy when you came in. Well, antsy for you, but still.”

His hair is mussed from how many times he ran his hand through it, and he stumbled over his words a little when asking me to talk. “Hazel, just talk.”

I suck in a deep breath. “June was bullied at school today, about me–well, us.”

His brow furrows. “What do you mean?”

“Some kids must have heard their parents talking about our relationship.” I look down at my hands. “They called me, and then June, a tramp.”

Silence settles over the room like a rain cloud. I glance up at Emmett. His expression is thunderous.

“I’ll go down there tomorrow and speak with them. This won’t happen again.”

The gravel in his voice sends goosebumps over my skin.

“I might have already talked to them. I know Brock said to lay low, but I couldn’t leave without talking to someone. So, I made sure the principal would reprimand the students and the teacher who let it happen. June’s teacher should apologize to her tomorrow.”

Emmett’s jaw tightens, then relaxes again. “I’ll see about transferring her to another class if she wants me to. She’s never been too fond of her teacher anyway.”

I nod. “That’s a good idea. I wish I could have done more.”

He shakes his head. “I hate that you had to do anything at all. You could have called me–you should have.”

“I’ll be honest, I was a little too fired up to even consider it.” I toy with a string on the couch cushion.

“I wish I could have been there to see that. It’s hard to picture you angry,” he teases. “What did you say?”

“I told the principal I would tell a bunch of reporters what happened if she didn’t do what I asked.”

A surprised laugh bursts out of Emmett. “You threatened her?”

“Not all of us are tall, imposing athletes with giant muscles and a scowl that could make a grown man cry. I had to get creative.”

Mirth fills his eyes. “You’re something else, Wildflower.”

Just being around Emmett like this makes the day wash away. I want to stay in this warm, bubbly feeling forever, but I know we have more to address.

“This isn’t all I wanted to talk about,” I blurt out before I lose my nerve.

He shifts in his seat. His expression turns attentive and serious again.

“I’ve been thinking about our unique situation.” I can’t look at him. I turn my attention to the yellow flowers on my socks. “And I think it would be best if I worked somewhere else. That way we have better boundaries.”

“Did I do something to make you uncomfortable?” Emmett asks, confusion in his voice.

“No, no, it’s nothing like that.”

“Then why do you want to leave? I thought you loved this job. June loves you being her nanny.”

Did he really have to say that now?

My eyes sting.

“I do love taking care of June, but–” I cut off as emotion clogs my throat. “I can’t ask so much of you, Emmett. If you wanted to reprimand me, you’d feel like you couldn’t because we're together. And if I wanted to ask for something from you, you’d feel obligated.”

He stays silent, and I rush to fill the space.

“You like clean lines and boundaries. I’ve seen it in everything you do. This would be messy and chaotic.”

“Is this what you want? Be honest with me.” His question prods at my aching heart.

I look up at him. “I want to do what’s best for you.”

He shakes his head. “That’s not what I asked.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“I think you do, but you’re too scared to admit it.” He runs a hand over his beard. “I’ve been scared lately, too. But I’m going to lay it all out and hope you feel the same, because I can’t take holding back anymore.”

I stare at him, unsure of his meaning.

“I love you, Hazel James.” My lips part in shock. “I don’t want boundary lines with you. I don’t want to just see you for date night once a week. I want your shoes by my door and your favorite snacks in my pantry. I want to drink coffee and matcha on my back porch in the mornings and kiss under the stars at night. I want to eat pancakes with too many chocolate chips that you and June make together. I want to help Raven with her math homework and have movie nights together.”

I try to hold them in, but it’s no use. Tears stream down my face. Emmett loves me. Emmett Foster is in love with me .

“I-I–” I try to say something but the words won’t come out. I’m too overwhelmed. I swipe the tears from beneath my eyes.

“I know it’s sudden, but it’s true. I love you and I want to take care of you.” He reaches out and grabs my hand. “Please hear me when I say that. Don’t brush it off. I want to take care of you, Wildflower. That’s what people who love each other do . It’s not supposed to be you taking on everything while I stand by and watch. We’re a team.”

“I don’t want to be a burden to you,” I whisper, staring at our joined hands.

“You are not, and could never be, a burden to me. How could you think that? I’ve been trying to take more off your shoulders and you won’t let me.” His tone is gentle, but his words cut deep.

I stand up, pulling my hand from his grasp. His touch is making it too difficult to think. I turn toward the windows. June is bouncing around, paying us no mind. Somehow, seeing her so happy and carefree only makes my tears come faster. All of my emotions are crowded and jumbled like an overflowing junk drawer.

I’m overwhelmingly happy that Emmett loves me, but what he’s saying also terrifies me. My whole life I’ve wanted a family to come home to. I’ve thought countless times that I’d love to have someone to lean on when things are difficult with my parents. But now that the opportunity to have that is right in front of me, I feel undeserving. It was easier to comprehend as a dream rather than reality.

“You’re a good man, Emmett,” I say quietly. “You’re kind, thoughtful, and strong. Because of that, I’m afraid you’ll take on all of my burdens and then resent me for it later.”

“I’m afraid you’ll wish I was more outgoing like Emerson and resent me later,” he says plainly as if he were stating the weather.

I whip around to face him. “How on earth could you think that? If I wanted to be with someone like Emerson, I would be.”

He stands up. “And if I didn’t want to take care of you, I wouldn’t say I did.” He takes a step toward me. “We both have irrational fears. We can either be scared together, or let this push us apart. I’d rather the former.”

“You say that like it’s so simple.”

“Because it is.” He closes the remaining distance between us and cradles my face in his hands. “It’s not easy, but it is simple. We can do this together. Us against the world. You don’t have to do it alone anymore.”

I swallow down my ever-rising emotions. “Emmett, you’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a man, but–”

He cuts me off with a soft but full kiss. “Then let me help you, Hazel. Let me love you.”

My heart is beating so hard I feel like my whole body is thrumming. I’ve prayed, wished on every star and birthday candle, and occasionally murmured my hopes at 11:11 for this very thing. Someone to love me enough to see me as more than a burden. I meet Emmett’s warm brown eyes. Am I really going to let fear keep me from my dream come true?

I don’t think so.

“Only if you let me love you too,” I breathe.

His eyes light up at my words.

“You love me?” he asks.

“I love you,” I whisper my confirmation, then press a kiss to his lips. “I love how gentle you are with June and with me.” Another kiss. “I love your smile and that it’s not given out freely to everyone.” And another. “I love how you look in your uniform, specifically your baseball pants–” I giggle. His laughter joins mine.

Our foreheads touch. My eyes flutter shut.

“I meant what I said under the stars that first night,” I say softly. “I want you. I might be scared, but that hasn’t changed. It’s only grown.”

“I feel the same way.” His lips brush mine. “Don’t quit. We’ll make a plan and figure out how to do this. Stay with me and June.”

I pull in a fortifying breath. “Okay.”

He smiles against my lips. I don’t know how we’re going to do this, but Emmett is right. It’s much better to fight together than to run away. I’m not going to let fear control me any longer.