Page 30

Chapter thirty

Hazel James

“I’m a good person, right?” Raven asks, scooping up a bite of her frozen yogurt. “And don’t just say yes because you feel sorry for me right now. Be honest.”

I laugh around my spoon. After I’m finished crunching the white chocolate chips in my matcha fro-yo, I answer, “I might be biased even without pity, but I think you’re a good person.”

“See, I think you’re a good person too.” She points her Nutella-covered spoon at me. I smile. “Which means that it can’t be karma wrecking our lives.”

I shake my head. “Karma isn’t a thing, Ray.”

“Obviously not, because if it were, then it would be some kind of UNO reverse situation where bad things only happen to good people.”

“You’re going to make me choke,” I say around another bite.

“Don’t do that. I can’t handle seeing Mom with her jerk boyfriend and you dying on the same day. I’d turn to the dark side. It would be my villain origin story.”

My shoulders shake with laughter. “You’re so dramatic.”

“Tell me it’s not warranted after today.”

I sigh. She’s not wrong. After a talk about how no matter what Mom says, none of this is Raven’s fault and she shouldn’t feel sorry for her, we left for the hospital. Emmett watched us pull out of the garage with worry pinching his face. I should have viewed that as a sign to stay home. But no, we showed up to the hospital…only to find our mother making out with her toxic on-again off-again boyfriend, Gerald.

So, in an attempt to salvage our outing, we went and got fro-yo. I didn’t say a word when Raven grabbed the biggest container and piled it high with technicolor candy and an obscene amount of nutella. While I only got strawberries and white chocolate chips, I might have added a little more than usual to cope, too. I’ve long given up on expecting Mom to do anything close to the right thing, but Raven still had that childlike hope that she would change. I think that hope shriveled up today.

Now, we’re sitting in my car, our backs against the doors so we can face each other. Raven’s legs are tucked beneath her while my knees are to my chest.

“You’re too nice to be a villain,” I say instead of addressing her comment. “Except when it’s time for you to wake up, or do math homework, or–you know what, on second thought, maybe you already are a villain.”

She throws a napkin at me. I bat it away, laughing in unison with her. It feels good to hear her laugh. To have some normalcy. Our giggles fade out though, and Raven’s smile fades into something more melancholy.

“I’m going to have to live with Dad now, aren’t I?” She stirs her yogurt, making a soupy slush in the cup.

“That’s not your only option.”

Hope shines in her blue eyes when she looks up. “You mean I can live with you?”

“I talked to Dad earlier today, and he’s willing to fill out all the necessary paperwork. You might have to stay with him on occasion if I have to travel while you’re still in school, but if you’d like, you can live with me.”

She sets her frozen yogurt on the dash and propels herself over the console to wrap her arms around me. “ Thank you! ”

Tears sting my eyes. “You’re going to get your hair in my yogurt.” My words come out strangled with emotion.

She squeezes me tighter. “You can cry if you want to, it’s okay.”

My vision blurs. I throw my free arm around her. “Don’t say things like that. You’re supposed to be a moody teenager.”

She laughs, but it sounds like she’s tearing up too. “I’m sure I’ll be back to that once we’re roommates.”

Roommates . I wish I could view us that way, but I know that I’m about to take my parental figure role to a whole new level. She’s been deprived of good parents for her whole life. I may only have a few years left of her childhood to make a difference, but I’m going to do my best to help her have good memories to look back on.

She pulls back, laughing as she notices green frozen yogurt clinging to a lock of her hair.

“Sorry for ruining your treat,” she says as she cleans it off with a napkin. Her eyes are wet, but she’s smiling.

“It’s okay, we should head back to Emmett’s anyways.”

“ Speaking of Emmett.” She raises her brows.

I bite my lip to keep from smiling. It doesn’t work.

“I knew it! I knew you two would get together,” she says with a self-satisfied grin.

I laugh. “I didn’t say anything.”

“You don’t have to. It’s written all over your lovestruck face.”

I roll my eyes. “This is why I don’t tell you about guys I’m dating.”

“What guys? You haven’t dated in forever.”

It’s my turn to throw a napkin at her. She laughs as it falls on the console instead of reaching her.

“In all seriousness, I’m happy for you.” She toys with the sleeve of her sweatshirt. “You deserve a guy who’s good to you. Someone to take care of you the way you do everyone else.”

My eyes sting with tears again. “Okay, that’s enough of you being mushy. We should get back.”

She laughs. “Fine, I’ll throw our cups away.” I give her mine and she grabs hers off the dash along with our dirty napkins.

When she hops out, I situate myself behind the wheel. I use the sleeve of my sweatshirt to dab beneath my eyes, then draw in a shaky breath. Another task complete. I told Raven about us and I decided to have her move in with me…without mentioning it to Emmett. It’s not like we’ve been in a relationship long enough to make the decision together, but it will affect the both of us.

He’s a single parent of a five-year-old, and I just became one of a fifteen-year-old. Our already limited time together is going to be cut down even more. Not to mention the fact that I’ll need to ask for the flexibility of picking up Raven from school each day. It would be great if she could stay with me and June in the afternoons, too. Emmett’s concern about my apartment complex is starting to get in my head. I wouldn’t want to leave Raven alone there on a regular basis.

I rest my forehead on the steering wheel. Asking him for all of this would have been hard enough before we were dating, but now I feel like I’m using him. I don’t want him to feel like he has to say yes just because we’re in a relationship.

The passenger side door opens. I quickly lift my head.

“Okay, I definitely need to wash my hands, but the bathrooms in there looked like they would make my hands dirtier. Why are all fro-yo places so run-down?” Raven asks, sounding like all the sugar from her sweet treat just kicked in.

“I don’t know, but you’re right, they always do seem on the dingy side.”

“Weird. Anyway, can I play my music on the way home?”

Home . My throat tightens again. One night there and she already sees it as home. I know the feeling.

“Yeah,” I choke out. “Go ahead.”

She switches the Bluetooth setting to her phone and starts blaring some song I’ve only ever heard the chorus of on Instagram Reels. I pull out of the parking spot and drive home with a racing heart.

All of this is too much. I don’t know how to balance it all. My sister, my job, Emmett, and everything that comes with him, like the pressure of the media. I wish I could go back to last night under the stars, when all there was to think about was his hands in my hair and how safe I felt. He was my fortress, but reality has broken through with a battering ram. I just hope that the damage isn’t irreparable.