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Chapter thirty-four

Emmett Foster

Hazel isn’t herself. She smiles, but her eyes don’t crinkle at the edges. Her laughs stop short. And when I kiss her, she pulls away first. I know she’s going through a lot–even though she won’t talk to me about it–but it still brings up past hurt when I feel the growing distance between us.

I know in my bones that this isn’t like what happened with Shelby. This has to do with Hazel carrying too much, but I don’t know how to make her see that I’m here to help shoulder her burdens. I’ve tried to show her as often as I can how much I care for her. I’ve asked her about her day, brought her matcha and flowers, and told her to go relax while I take care of June. Last night, I even helped Raven with her homework when Hazel looked like she was going to fall asleep at the coffee table.

Instead of her relaxing and opening up though, she’s closed off even more. She keeps telling me I’m doing too much and I don’t have to do these things. When I tell her I want to , it’s like she doesn’t hear me. Tonight, I told her I could follow her back to her apartment. She thought it would be best to get Raven acclimated there sooner rather than later. After I told her she could stay here as long as she wanted to, I offered to make sure they were safe and help bring up their things. She was adamant in her refusal.

Now I’m sitting alone on my couch after putting a pouty June to bed, wishing that I had a meeting outside with Hazel to look forward to. Instead, I’m going to hop on a game with the guys since they’re available, and I don’t have anything better to do. I know they’re going to pester me about her, but it will be a distraction from checking my phone for a text from her every five seconds like a lovestruck teenager.

I heave a sigh and put on my headset. I’ll figure out how to fix this without scaring her away, and in the meantime, I can listen to my friends argue about inane topics while losing at a video game we’ve been playing for years now.

“E.T., you made it!” Shaw says as soon as I log on to the party chat. “I thought you’d be too busy with your new girlfriend to spend time with us.”

I shake my head at his teasing tone. “I haven’t even been on for five seconds and you’re already pestering me.”

“Did you expect anything different?” Brock asks in a dry tone. I’m surprised he’s here, considering how busy he’s been. Shaw must have convinced him to take a break.

“No.”

Jason’s laugh fills my ears. “The less you ask him about her the better, trust me.” I’m surprised he isn’t leading everyone in messing with me. “Though I do want to say I called it.” There it is.

“Everyone called it,” Miles says with a laugh.

“Are we going to start the game or what?” I ask.

My question is ignored.

“Give him a break, guys,” Brock says, amusement in his voice. “It’s not every day that an old man finds love.”

I tip my head back against the couch and stare up at my vaulted ceilings. I wonder if I left the chat if they’d continue without missing a beat.

“At least he put himself out there unlike someone I know,” Shaw quips.

The corner of my mouth lifts. That’s what Brock gets for teasing me.

“I don’t–” Brock begins and the others finish in unison “have time to date.”

“You say that, but you can make time.”

“Sure, I’ll just let all of my clients flounder in the media and handle their own contracts so I can go out on a date. I’m sure Emmett would love if I let the media eat Hazel alive because I was buying some former sorority girl a drink.”

“What makes you think you could get a former sorority girl to give you the time of day?” Jason ribs.

Laughter fills my headphones.

“This is why I didn’t want to get on here,” Brock grumbles.

“How is it that you’re grouchier than Emmett has ever been?” Shaw asks. “We’re talking, not performing a root canal on you.”

The line goes quiet for a moment.

“I’m sorry, guys. It’s just been a long day. I shouldn’t have brought your situation up either, Emmett.”

“It’s okay,” I say, because it doesn’t bother me. All of the guys know Hazel is June’s nanny and now my girlfriend. It’s not a secret that the media will twist that to implicate something it doesn’t.

“All right,” Jason says, and I think I hear him clap his hands. “Let’s give Brock a break and change the subject back to Emmett falling in love.”

“Or we could just play the game,” I grouse.

“Hmm I think this sounds more fun,” Shaw says.

“There’s nothing to talk about. We’re dating. That’s it.”

“Is it going well?” Miles asks.

“Yes.” The word comes out more clipped than I intended.

“Either you’re extra annoyed with us tonight or something’s wrong,” Jason says.

I sigh. “There’s just a lot going on right now. I’m trying to be good to Hazel in the midst of it.”

“Does this have anything to do with her mom being in the hospital the other day?” Miles asks.

I sigh. “Yeah. Hazel has been taking care of her younger sister while everything has been going on.”

“She told me yesterday that she was becoming her sister’s guardian,” Brock says.

I stiffen. “She told you that?”

“She didn’t tell you? I called to talk to her about dealing with the media.”

Why wouldn’t she tell me? And why does Brock know that she’s officially becoming Raven’s guardian before I do?

“It must have slipped her mind,” I say quietly.

Silence blankets the call.

“I don’t know what to do,” I confess, my voice barely above a whisper. I hate talking–period, and especially about feelings. But I’m desperate tonight.

“What’s really going on?” Shaw asks.

“I don’t know, at least not fully. She won’t talk to me about what’s going on, and every time I try to help in any way, she pulls back even more. I wanted to offer her my parents’ house to live in but–” I cut off, shutting my eyes.

“But?” Miles prods.

“I’m terrified that I’m going to overstep and she’ll leave. June will be heartbroken if that happens.”

“And what about you?” Shaw asks. His tone is calm, like he’s aware of how hard this is for me and doesn’t want to push me.

“I’d be heartbroken too,” I confess and run a hand over my beard. “I think–” A breath rattles through my chest. “I think I love her.”

A loud whoop comes through, making me jump. Then a throat clears. “Sorry about that,” Jason says.

“I understand where you’re coming from,” Shaw says, residual laughter in his tone from Jason’s outburst. “I went through something similar with Sutton.”

I recall when he was spiraling over her before they got together. I don’t remember anything quite like this though.

He continues. “Sutton has always believed she needed to do everything herself because she’d be asking too much of someone else to do it for her. I thought that hinting and doing nice gestures would be enough for her to see how much I cared, but what ended up making the biggest difference was just laying it all out. If you love her, tell her . And then show her every day after that.”

“That’s good advice,” Jason comments.

“It’s the only kind I have.”

“In middle school, you told me I should get a buzz cut to intimidate our rivals in hockey,” Brock says in a flat tone.

“We beat them that year, so my advice was solid.”

“They couldn’t see my hair under my helmet !”

I can’t help but join in with the other guys as they laugh. It feels good to have a light moment after the past few days of worry.

“Stop being an attention seeker and let Emmett respond,” Shaw says.

“I’m going to kill you the next time I see you,” Brock grits out.

“Yeah, yeah, you’ve said that before and yet here I sit. Alive and well.”

“Your advice was good,” I interrupt before they get off track again. “At least good enough to try.”

“I hope it works out for you,” Shaw says. “We’re rooting for you, right guys?”

“Yep,” Miles says.

“Always,” Jason adds.

“Definitely,” Brock finishes.

“Thanks, I appreciate it. Now, can we stop talking so much and play a game?”

They all agree, and I catch myself smiling even as we lose our first game. It felt surprisingly good to share with them what’s going on, and Shaw’s advice helped me tighten my grip on something I was losing: hope.