Page 32

Chapter thirty-two

Emmett Foster

I brush June’s hair back and kiss her forehead. “Goodnight, I love you.”

She wraps her arms around my neck. “I love you too, Daddy.”

I smile softly down at her when I pull away. Hearing that never gets old. I switch on her star lamp, which bathes the ceiling in soft purples and blues with pinpricks of white constellations. Then I turn the lights off.

“Daddy?”

“Yes?” I turn around. She’s clutching the baseball teddy bear she sleeps with when I’m gone, and the NYC teddy bear she got with Hazel. If Hazel were in here, she’d have tears streaming down her face. After the day she had, though, I told her she should go take a long shower instead of help with the bedtime routine.

“Are you and Miss Hazel going to get married?”

I stiffen. Marriage. That’s something I never thought would be on the horizon for me, not after Shelby. But now…now it doesn’t seem as impossible an idea to entertain. At the same time, it’s far too soon for June to have that idea in her head.

“What makes you ask that?”

She bounces the baseball teddy bear beside her on the bed. “I remembered how my friend at school said her dad was dating a lady.” She says the word dating as though she still doesn’t understand it. Which is good, because she won’t need to until she’s at least thirty. Maybe forty.

“And then last week,” she continues, “my friend told me her dad was getting married and she was going to get a new mommy.”

I wince. I thought that’s where this might be headed. The bed sags a little as I sit on the edge.

“June, I don’t know yet if Miss Hazel and I will get married. I don’t want you to think of her as your mom yet.”

I make out June’s frown in the dim light. “But I want a new one. Mine never comes to see me.” Her sniffles crack my heart in two. “A-and I love Miss Hazel. Why can’t she be my mommy?”

I scoot to sit against the headboard and wrap an arm around June. She curls into my side. “I know you do. She might want to be your mom one day, but you have to be patient. Do you know what that means?” I feel her shake her head. “It means that you wait to call Miss Hazel Mommy until she tells you it’s okay. In the meantime, you can play with her and have fun, and even tell her you love her. I know she likes it when you do that.”

June giggles. “Her eyes get all shiny and she gives me the biggest hug.”

My chest tightens. It’s not easy to keep from falling too fast when June says things like that. I kiss the crown of June’s head.

“See? You can still have fun and be best friends. You just have to wait a little while.”

“How long, Daddy?”

I tip my head back against the headboard. Not long, if we keep moving at this rate. For years, my heart has felt like a worn-out pair of cleats. Manageable, but not in good condition. Hazel makes me feel brand-new, though. Fresh out of the box and ready for the game of my life.

“I’m not sure,” I give her my best answer. “That’s the thing about being patient, it’s something you do when you might have to wait a long time or just a little bit.”

“Okay, Daddy, I guess I can try to be patient.”

I squeeze her to my side. “That’s all I ask, that you try your best.” I push off the bed. “Now, get some rest so you’ll have plenty of energy to play with Miss Hazel tomorrow.”

“Yes, sir,” she says at the same time that she yawns.

After another round of saying our goodnights, I crack the door behind me and head toward the back of the house, then walk outside. I told Hazel to take her time, so I don’t expect her to be out anytime soon, but it will be nice to clear my head. Though that might be difficult, considering all that’s going on right now.

I would have had a plan for how to handle a relationship while being in the public eye if I’d thought that I’d ever need it. Now, not only do I have to announce my relationship, but I have to tell everyone I’m dating my daughter’s nanny. That’s not going to paint me in a good light. I wouldn’t care what the press thought about me if it didn’t affect June, but it does. And Hazel too. I have to put my hope in Brock handling everything so that we minimize as much negative press as possible.

The media is the least of my concerns right now though. Hazel hasn’t said anything, but I know she’s got to be thinking of what to do with Raven. Their mom isn’t in a state to take care of her, and based on what happened in New York, neither is their dad. So that leaves Hazel, who I know would become Raven’s guardian in a heartbeat. She’d move Raven into her tiny apartment in downtown Nashville and worry for her sister whenever she wasn’t with her.

I look out over the hills and trees that shield my parents’ house from view. The house that is sitting empty and will continue to for at least the remainder of the year, based on the last update my mom gave me. It would be an overstep on my part to offer Hazel the house, but it kills me to think about the two of them living in that building with no security.

I sigh and rake a hand through my hair. Red flags and a chorus of alarm bells are sounding off in my brain. I’m moving too fast, and at this speed, the slightest wrong move will end in catastrophe. My instinct is to care for Hazel since she doesn’t have anyone but herself to do that, but if I go too far or insert myself too much into her life…she might get scared and leave. Then I’ll be left with a heart in worse shape than before I met her and a daughter who will feel abandoned again.

I can’t mess this up. I won’t.

The sound of the door opening makes me turn around. Hazel steps out, her bare feet sinking into the grass. The light from the porch casts a golden hue over her warm brown hair that’s in a wet braid across her shoulder. She wears a tired smile that has me crossing the yard to pull her into my arms. She lays her head on my chest over the heart she’s taken ownership of. I breathe in her scent. She smells of freshly cut citrus and sugar.

“How are you holding up, Wildflower?” I ask in a soft tone.

“I’m making it,” she says with a half-laugh. “Could be better.”

“How about we sit down for a while? We don’t have to talk, we can just be together.”

Her arms squeeze around my middle in answer. I lead her to the lounge chairs we had our first kiss in, and pull her into my lap just like I did the night before. Except this time, she tucks her face into the crook of my neck and relaxes against me. I run a hand up and down her back, the soft linen of her pajamas caressing my palm.

She draws in a deep breath and lets it out. I smile as I feel her relax even more.

“There you go, just breathe, my brave girl.”

“I don’t feel very brave,” she confesses in a broken whisper.

“That’s often when we’re the most courageous, when we don’t feel it at all.”

She doesn’t say a word, but I feel a tear fall on my skin. I shut my eyes and wish with all the world that I could bear this weight for her. That I wasn’t too scared of losing her to try. Since I can’t, I just hold her and hope that’s enough.