Page 20

Chapter twenty

Emmett Foster

“Those are the wrong ones,” June says. She’s peering up at me beneath the princess-themed hooded towel with a frown.

“What do you mean?” I ask, holding out the pair of princess pajamas that almost match her towel. “These are your favorite.”

She scrunches her nose. “I wear my favorite jammies on Fridays , Daddy,” she says, like it’s obvious. “Miss Hazel makes cookies on Fridays and I wear those. It’s Monday. That’s what the board said at school.”

I sigh and put the clothes back in her drawer. It’s only been a few hours and the hole that Hazel fills is gaping. June has asked where she is and when she’ll be back no less than twenty times, complained that I didn’t know it was Movie Monday , and pouted when I said I didn’t know what a mermaid braid was or how to do it. I knew that Hazel and June had traditions and routines—I’ve been around for plenty of them—but what I didn’t realize was just how many there were.

“I’m sorry, I must have forgotten. What pajamas do you wear on Mondays?”

She pushes up on her tiptoes to look in the drawer, then pulls out a pair with ocean animals. “These ones!”

“Okay, put those on and then hop in bed.”

“Yes, sir,” she says and runs into the bathroom to change.

I pull out my phone–something I’ve done too many times since Hazel left–and check for messages. The only text I’ve gotten from her has been one saying her mom is okay, but she may need a day or two off work. There’s nothing new in my inbox, except in the group chat with the guys.

Shaw: Y’all down for a game or two tonight?

Jason: Sure, I can make time for one or two.

Miles: Sounds good to me.

Brock: Can’t make it. Have fun without me.

Shaw: You can’t make time for one game?

Brock: I have a lot of work to do.

Miles: You always have a lot of work to do. Just play one game with us.

Brock: Some of us have real jobs and can’t afford to play video games on a weeknight.

Jason: Ouch. Lighten up, man, all we want is to hang out. We haven’t talked in a while.

Brock: I’m sorry. I have a lot on my plate right now. Didn’t mean to take it out on you, Miles.

Miles: Don’t worry about it. Let us know if you need anything.

Brock: If you could figure out how to clone me, that would be nice.

Shaw: You already have a twin sister. I don’t think the world could handle another Jones sibling.

I shake my head at their exchange. Maybe it would be good to play a game or two to get my mind off things. They’re certainly good at distracting me.

Emmett: I’ll play. Give me a minute to put June to bed.

Jason: Sweet!

I tuck my phone in my pocket and turn around to see June arranging her stuffed animals in a line on her bed. She tucks each one into the covers, then snuggles into the gap she left in the center. I can’t help but smile at her.

“Story time!” she cheers as she pulls her covers up to her chin.

“What book would you like me to read?” I walk over to her large shelf filled to the brim with childrens books as well as some chapter books.

“Miss Hazel usually makes up a story.”

I run a hand over my beard. Miss Hazel seems to do a lot that I don’t. How does she keep up with all of this? I love my daughter with all that I have, but I can’t imagine creating this whole world of magic and fun for June every day, all day. I’d need a nap before noon.

It occurs to me just how often Hazel must have stayed late to tuck June in enough to have a routine. I hadn’t noticed at the time it was happening. It felt normal to pick up around the house while Hazel braided June’s hair and tucked her in. My shoulders droop. I’ve been taking advantage of her and treating her poorly on top of that. Shame beats down on me like a hot July sun.

“I’m not very good at making up stories like her, so how about we pick out a book for tonight?” I suggest, sounding as defeated as I feel.

I’m searching the shelves for something that would make her forget about Hazel being absent, when I hear a sniffle. I turn around and see tears trickling down June’s face.

“I want Miss Hazel,” she cries.

I cross the room and sit on the bed then draw her into my lap.

“I know you do, June. She should be back soon.” I rub her back as she cries.

“I–” she hiccups, “miss her.”

“Me too,” I say, then freeze. Do I? Is that what I’m feeling right now? I put aside the notion to focus on June. “What if I turn on a movie instead of story time? You can watch it until you fall asleep,” I offer.

She pulls back and looks up at me with watery eyes. “I’d like that.”

I kiss her forehead. “What movie do you want to watch?”

“ Tangled . It’s Miss Hazel’s favorite and I can tell her I watched it when she comes back.”

“That sounds like a good plan.”

I lay her back in between her stuffed animals and pull the covers up over her. She grabs the I Heart NYC teddy bear she bought with Hazel during their scavenger hunt and squeezes it to her chest.

I turn the movie on and she immediately looks happier. Seeing that she’s settled for now, I head to the living room. I definitely need the distraction of video games and nonsensical conversation right about now.

I grab my headset and log on. The guys already have a party going, so I join it and I’m immediately bombarded.

“E.T.! Long time no talk. How’s life treating you?” Shaw asks.

“Yeah, how’s June doing?” Miles adds.

“Saw the little moment with Hazel on SportsCenter. Have you finally given up denying your feelings?” Jason’s teasing tone grates on my nerves.

I scowl at the screen even though they can’t see me.

“I’m fine, June’s fine, there are no feelings for Hazel.”

All of that is a lie. Every single word. I hate lying, but I don’t need them meddling right now. I texted my mom a similar answer when she tried to call me earlier. I knew if she heard my voice, she’d be able to tell I was lying. I can’t take her scolding me on top of everything else.

“Who’s Hazel?” Shaw asks.

Jason has apparently appointed himself to be my spokesperson tonight. “She’s June’s nanny. Also, the woman Emmett is in love with.”

“I’m not in love with her,” I growl.

“All this denial makes me think Jason is closer to the truth than you are,” Shaw says.

I clench the controller in my hands. “The only way to deny something is to deny it. You’re making assumptions built on nothing.”

“I have plenty of evidence for my claims,” Jason says, sounding smug.

“I thought you said you’d leave this alone,” I grumble.

“That was before you came on here with something clearly bothering you.”

I stifle a sigh. “Can we please just play the game we came on here for? It’s been a long day.”

“Yeah, let’s play,” Miles thankfully agrees.

We start up a game and play mostly in silence, except for comments related to the game. The first game is a win for us, which the other guys celebrate by whooping deafeningly loud in my ear. We’re in the middle of another game when I get killed. I throw my controller at the ground. It hits the wood floor hard enough to dislodge the batteries.

“What was that crashing noise?” Shaw asks.

I bend down to snatch the controller up. “It was me throwing my controller because I hate this game.”

“Okay, I was going to let it slide and not gang up on you, but Jason’s right. Something has to be wrong. You’re not the rage-quitting type,” Shaw says, concern in his voice.

I contemplate lying again, but the very idea turns my stomach. Shelby lied to me for months. The media lies for a living. I won’t be like them, even if the idea of sharing personal stuff makes my skin crawl.

“Hazel’s mom is in the hospital,” I tell them. “She left in a rush earlier and it’s been a long day without her here. She and June have all these traditions and sayings I don’t understand. And I don’t know when she’s going to be back.”

“I’m sorry, man, that’s rough,” Shaw says. “How’s Hazel dealing with all of this?”

I hang my head. “I don’t know. The only information I have is that she’s at Tennessee General and that her mom is stable.”

“Did you ask her?” Jason chimes in, caution in his voice.

“No.”

“Do you want to know if she’s okay?” Miles asks.

My brow furrows. “What kind of trick question is that? Of course I want to know.”

“It’s not a trick question,” Miles defends. “I just wanted to know if you cared about her. If you do, you should check on her.”

“He should go see her,” Jason amends.

“I’m not going to bother her while she’s at the hospital. She’s always taking care of other people, she doesn’t need me there adding to that,” I say firmly.

“If she’s always taking care of everyone, who’s taking care of her right now?” Shaw asks.

I sit up. I hadn’t thought of it in that way. My mind brings up our time in New York, how she made sure everyone around her was happy, all while struggling with her own family issues. If her dad wouldn’t even give her sister a ride to a job interview, then I doubt he’ll be helping out with this. She’s probably taking care of her sister alone.

“I don’t know if she’ll want me there,” I voice my one hesitation. “Things between us have been…off.”

“She wants you there.” Jason says. “Without a doubt.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I saw everything I needed to when I was in New York. Willow agreed with me, too.”

“If you care about her, you should go,” Miles says.

“I agree,” Shaw adds.

I roll my eyes up to the ceiling. “I can’t believe I’m about to take advice from the three of you.”

“Atta boy! Go get your girl,” Jason whoops.

I shake my head. “She’s not my girl. I’m doing this as a friend.”

“Sure, whatever gets you there,” he says with a chuckle. “Let us know if you need anything.”

“Thanks,” I say, because they deserve the gratitude even if they annoy me most of the time.

I log off while they are all patting themselves on the back for giving solid advice. My headset and controller clatter on the cushion next to me. Now I guess I need to find a babysitter.