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Chapter one

Emmett Foster

My mom has always said that bad things come in threes. Even as a kid, I thought the sentiment was foolish. It was simply a superstition that only resulted in anxiety. But this week? Well, I might be inclined to believe the statement.

Two days ago, when I left home to head to Cincinnati for my next game, my five-year-old daughter, June, sobbed and locked her arms around my neck, begging me not to go. I’ve been a professional baseball player since before she was born. She’s grown up knowing that I travel a lot and can’t always bring her with me. Sometimes she whines, but this was the first time she was distraught. It broke my heart and left me feeling off-balance the entire plane ride.

That off-kilter feeling followed me into the game and led to me pitching one of my worst games. It was like the other team knew my pitches before I threw them, and I got pulled in the fourth inning. We lost nine to three. After that, all I wanted to do was come home to my quiet house in Franklin, Tennessee, and rest. That was my plan. But when I walked in the door, the rule of three didn’t allow for that. No, instead I’m sitting across from my mother at my dining room table while June watches a movie in the living room. Mom fidgets with a beaded bracelet on her wrist and avoids my eyes. Here comes the third thing.

“What’s going on?” I ask, trying to keep my tone gentle.

There are very few people in this world I soften my mannerisms for, and my mom is one of them.

“Your father and I were discussing some things recently. In light of his sixtieth birthday, we realized that we shouldn’t waste these final years of our lives,” she says, finally looking up at me. Her soft brown eyes are identical to my own, but I got my dark hair from my father.

I raise a brow, indicating for her to continue.

“We’ve decided to travel the world. We’re going to start by backpacking through Europe.”

I blink in surprise. My parents have never been the traveling type. Mom always said everything she needed was at home. When my ex-wife, Shelby, left shortly after June was born, my parents kept June a lot–and still do. I offered to put them up in hotels across the country to take June with me to my games, but they usually preferred to stay in Franklin at my house or the house I bought for them when I started playing for the Nashville Cowboys.

“Okay,” I say slowly, dragging out the word. “If that’s what you want, then you know I’ll support you.”

I’d offer to pay for their travels, but I already send money to them monthly, though they’ve tried to get me to stop. They deserve to live without any worries after all that they sacrificed to get me to where I am today. Not to mention all that they did–and still do–for June…

Realization dawns on me, and I understand now why my mom couldn’t look me in the eye.

“You won’t be able to take care of June anymore,” I say.

She nods, guilt lining her expression. “I hate that I’m leaving you out to dry like this. I won’t book our flight until you find someone to take care of her.”

I shake my head. “You’ve done more than enough for the both of us. You and Dad deserve to go on an adventure. I’ll try to find someone as soon as possible.”

Worries pile up in my mind like dirty laundry. I don’t fully trust the maid service that cleans my home every two weeks, and they’ve worked for me for years now. I can’t trust a stranger with my daughter . There’s also the fact that finding a nanny to work with my chaotic schedule will likely be impossible. Who would be willing to work more than full-time? To travel to games when I miss June?

I rake a hand through my hair.

“Emmett, sweetheart, take a breath,” my mom says in a soothing tone. She reaches across the table to touch my arm.

“I’m fine,” I lie.

She shakes her head and tuts. “You know better than to say that to me. I can see those gears turning in that head of yours. I’ll help you find someone, okay? You just focus on work and taking care of June when you’re home. I’ll interview people until I find someone worth your time meeting. How does that sound?”

I let out a sigh of relief. “That sounds good. Thanks, Mom.”

She smiles and pats my forearm before pulling her hand back. “You know, this is where having a wife would come in handy.”

I give her a flat look. “No matchmaking. You’re finding a nanny, not a wife.”

“I never said I was going to find you one.” She tilts her head to the side. “I know Shelby leaving was hard, but you deserve to have someone you love to come home to.”

I pull my hands beneath the table and clench my fists. My mom means well, but she doesn’t understand. She’s in a happy, healthy marriage that has lasted almost forty years. My marriage lasted two years, and my wife cheated on me with a guy she met on Instagram . While pregnant . Relationships have never come easy to me. I’m not great at keeping up a conversation, and most women found me boring after the high of dating a baseball player wore off. Shelby was the first person who pushed past my walls. She was wild and loved being around people. The opposite of me in every sense of the word. I thought that meant we would balance each other. It turns out, though, it just made her resent me when I didn’t want to go partying every night.

“I have June, and you, and Dad. That’s all I need.”

“You don’t ever want something more?” Mom probes.

I swallow and look toward the living room. I can’t see June over the back of the couch, only the glow of the TV. She’s likely curled up with her favorite stuffed animal, a teddy bear that has a baseball glove in one paw and a ball in the other. She said it reminded her of me. My chest aches at the thought of her not having all she needs. I may be averse to all things romance, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want more. I do, for June. I know she needs a mom. Unfortunately, hers only comes around once a year, if that. I haven’t felt too bad since my mom is with her a lot, but I know it’s not the same.

“I told you, I have all that I need.” I look back at my mom.

Her smile is small. “That’s not what I asked.”

“Mom, please, I can’t talk about this right now.” I run a hand over my short beard. “I had a terrible game, and all I want to do is shower and lie down.”

She nods. “I understand. Don’t worry so much, okay? I’ll find someone. It’ll all be okay.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow before practice.” She gets up and presses a kiss to the crown of my head before going to do the same to June. Then she leaves. I hear the sound of the ATV she uses to get from my property to hers. Sometimes when it’s really cold, she’ll drive her car over on the main road, but most of the time she drives over the hills separating us. It’s nice to have them so close by. It will be strange to have them across the world instead.

Once Mom’s gone, I get a quick shower. The entire time, my mind is racing. It doesn’t stop, not even when I sit down beside June to watch the end of her movie with her. She falls asleep in my lap, and as I brush her dark curls back from her face, I can’t help but wonder if she wants more. She’s only five, but I’m sure the other kids in kindergarten talk about their moms. Does she wish she had one, or is she happy with just me and her grandparents?

I scoop her up in my arms, smiling softly when she snuggles against my chest. She’s grown so much, so fast. Soon enough, she’ll be too old to be carried to bed like this. My throat tightens.

“The days are long, but the years are short,” my mom said the first time I complained about a sleepless night with a colicky June. As I lay my daughter down on her canopy bed covered in stuffed animals, I can’t help but wonder if she’ll look back on these too-short years with happiness or resentment when she gets older. Am I enough for her? I wasn’t for her mother.

I tuck her into her blankets. I’ll just have to do the best I can on my own, because there’s no way I’m opening up either of us to heartbreak again.