Page 98 of The Devastation You Reap

“I don’t know what I’m doing here either, Leon. If that wasn’t already abundantly obvious. I don’t do this—” I repeat his move from earlier gesturing between us. “I’ve never let anyone this close to me. Ever.”

His eyes flick to the door, thinking of my roommates I’m sure.

“Not even them. Nate is the closest thing I have to a true friend. We’ve both lived a similar life with our prep school background. But he doesn’t know who I really am.”

He blows out a long breath as if what I just said has utterly floored him.

“I don’t deserve to be the person who knows you, Macie.”

“This isn’t about what either of us deserve, Leon. Do you believe in fate?”

He shrugs. “I’ve experienced too much shit to believe that it all happens for a reason. You?”

“Until last week, no. But then I met you and…” I hesitate, feeling crazy for even thinking it, let alone saying the words out loud. “And I can’t help but wonder if there’s a reason that I crashed into your life.”

“Not just to cockblock me with your roommate?” He deadpans.

“Well, yeah. That too. You think I’d have gone near you if you’d been inside Charlie first?” I slam my lips shut, not believing I just said those words. “You drive me crazy,” I blurt out. “I’ve never had such an issue with my filter.”

Flipping his hand over so he’s the one holding me, a small smile twitches at the corner of his lips.

“I like it. I like that you can’t help but tell me what you’re thinking, how you really feel.”

My lips part to respond but I find no words.

“I shouldn’t have come here toni—”

“I already told you it’s okay.”

“Shush,” he soothes, pressing two fingers to my lips to stop me. “But I’m not sorry I did.”

I stare into his eyes, which thankfully have lightened since I found him, chemistry crackling between us as the seconds pass.

“W-what do you need?” I whisper, needing to know what I can do to make this better.

He presses my palms to his jean covered thighs and slides them up.

My eyes drop from his to his crotch, finding his hard length obviously pressing against the fabric.

My mouth goes dry as I remember what he said to me about the next time I get him off.

‘But next time, I want your mouth.’

Swallowing down my nerves, I rip my eyes from his bulge and back up to his eyes.

He must see my hesitation because his expression softens as he reaches out, tucks a lock of hair behind my ear and cups my cheeks in his hand.

“As much as I like what you’re thinking. What I really need is a shower.”

My lips part as my chin drops.

He’s turning me down?

Hurt coils around me like a snake.

I mean, I know that I’ll probably be a disappointment but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have given it my best shot.

“Oh, okay,” I whisper, pushing from the floor and stepping away from him before he can see the dejection in my eyes.