Page 86 of The Devastation You Reap

Oh God.

With my hand clamped over my mouth, I throw the covers off and run full speed to my bathroom.

Dropping to my knees, I puke up what’s left of last night’s alcohol.

My body trembles as I heave and for the first time since I realized he’d got up and left in the middle of the night, I’m relieved he did. No one needs to see this, hell I don’t even want to experience it.

This is why I don’t drink. And what the two of us got up to last night both at the party and back here is exactly why I hate losing control.

Slumping back against the wall, I drop my head to my knees as it begins to pound like there’s a marching band up there.

So this is what a hangover feels like.

Gulpingin long breaths, I will my stomach to settle before tentatively standing and risking a look at myself in the mirror.

Jesus, no wonder Leon ran in the middle of the night. I look horrendous.

Filling my hands with cold water, I throw it over my face but it does little for the eye makeup that’s smeared all over my skin or the lipstick that’s stained everything red. How Leon didn’t kiss all that off, God only knows.

I brush my teeth, hoping that might make me feel a little more alive, but the reality is that it just makes me want to puke again.

Stumbling back into my room, I manage to grab myself a clean pair of pajamas before diving head first back into bed.

I press my nose into the pillow, breathing in his scent before chastising myself for being so pathetic, for wishing he was still here so I could cuddle into his side and feel his strong arms holding me, keeping me safe.

All the things I said I never wanted to feel with a man, let alone a football player.

I pass out once more faster than I thought necessary and it’s hours later when I wake again to the sound of voices and people crashing about outside my door.

When I sit up this time, everything feels a little more normal. My throat still burns from throwing up and my head still pounds, but none of it is as bad as earlier. And when I make my way to the bathroom again, I don’t feel the need to use the furniture or walls for support.

Stripping out of my pajamas I step into the shower, letting the cool water wake me up as I pour a generous amount of shower gel onto my sponge and get to work washing last night off me.

It’s not until I run the sponge over my inner thighs that I think about the details of the night before, but when I look down, I find multiple obvious fingerprints bruised into my skin.

“Oh my God,” I breathe, staring at the dark marks.

Heat floods my body as I recall exactly how it felt while his fingers were digging into my skin. I didn’t even realize that he was being rough with me.

I forgot everything. My lack of experience, my reasons for not wanting to get involved with anyone, Leon’s reputation, all the reasons that falling into this thing with him is a bad idea. I already know that I’m the one who’s going to end up hurting at the end of it. Guy’s like Leon don’t get their hearts broken. But girls like me have theirs obliterated by guys like them.

With a frustrated sigh, I turn the water off and step out. I guess it’s better late than never to start my day.

“Whoa, here she is,” Nate says with a wide smile as I emerge to find him Jace and Charlie nursing coffees at the table. To be fair, they all look about as bad as I feel, but at least they’d already emerged from their rooms, and from the look of the kitchen, I’d say they’ve been up a while too.

“Good night?” Charlie asks, a knowing glint in her eye.

“Um…” I look around at the three of them. “Any of you have any painkillers?”

Charlie chuckles but gets up and disappears to her room.

“Are we witnessing good little Macie Smith’s first hangover?” Jace asks with a smile.

“Leave me alone.”

“Did you have a good night?” Nate asks a little more sincerely.

“Yeah, from what I remember of it,” I mutter, heading for the kitchen to make myself the biggest coffee I can manage.