Page 96 of The Devastation You Reap

My fists curl at the thought of those I love learning the truth about my life, about what I’ve hidden from all of them all these years.

“I love you too, Peyton. I’m so glad you’re back in our lives. But please, I beg you. Stop digging.”

Without another word, I pull my arm from her grip and storm from the room. My heart pounding in my chest and my muscles straining to do something, to hit someone, to cause some pain.

And right now, there’s only one place I need to go for that.

20

Macie

I’m already curled up in bed with the tub of ice cream we didn’t eat the other night drowning my sorrows when the guys come storming through the dorm.

All three of them went out this afternoon after Letty’s visit leaving me with some much needed peace and quiet.

I managed to get some work done, but not as much as I wanted. My head was still spinning with the conversation I had with Letty.

I picked up and put down my cell more times than I could count. I even opened up our chat a couple of times and typed a message. But I bailed before I hit send.

Would he think I was being needy because I couldn’t go a few hours without contact? Is he just busy? Do I need to just be patient?

With each thought, my irritation level at myself grows.

I don’t want to be that girl. The one who second guesses herself because of a guy. But here I am freaking the hell out, when deep down, I know I’ve done nothing wrong.

I’m better than this. I’m stronger than this.

I’m Macie freaking Fletcher for Christ’s sake.

My life has taught me to deal with things better than this.

He. Is. Just. A. Boy.

I tell myself this over and over in the hope that at some point, it’ll begin to come true. But there’s something deep down that knows it’s not.

Leon isn’t just a boy. He’s someone I was meant to meet.

For whatever reason I’ve yet to figure out why our paths were meant to cross. I just wish I knew why because right now, he’s giving me more stress than I need.

I’m still lying there lost in my own irritating head when there’s a loud bang in the distance. It doesn’t sound like it’s in our dorm, so I ignore it assuming it’s some drunken students trying to make their way back. But what I hear next has me sitting bolt upright.

“Macie.”

It’s muffled but I know it’s my name.

Scrambling out of bed, I race through the dorm to our main door which the guys must have locked on their way out knowing that I needed some peace.

Flipping the lock, I pull the door open an inch but what I find has me flinging it open as my heart tumbles in my chest.

“W-what happened?” I cry, reaching for him.

But instead of moving toward me when I wrap my hand around his forearm, he rips it from my grip and takes a step back.

“I shouldn’t be here,” he mutters. “Fuck, I shouldn’t—” He lifts his bloody hands to his face as he stumbles back into the wall and bends over as if he’s in physical pain.

“It’s okay,” I soothe, walking over to him and gently pulling his hands from his face.

He looks… He looks so broken.