Page 69 of The Devastation You Reap

I glance over my shoulder as Luca pulls her in for a kiss and just like always my chest aches at how easy it is for them when they’re together.

It makes me wonder what people will see tonight when they look at Macie and I together. Will they think we're like that, or will they be able to see what Macie is failing to… that I'm using her.

Guilt begins to flood me but I quickly shut it down. It doesn't matter how sweet she is, how easy it would be to fall into something regular with her. That's not the reason I embarked on all of this and I refuse to let my heart get involved and fuck everything up for me.

I've had a plan for damn near ten years and nothing is going to stop me from ripping apart the people's lives who destroyed mine.

"How's Libby doing?" I ask when Luca joins me.

"Yeah, she's doing really good, all things considered."

I nod, genuinely happy that Peyton's sister might just be able to find a way past the hell that our father put her through when she was only a kid.

"I've been meaning to go and see her," I say hoping that keeping the conversation away from me and my night will be enough to stop him digging into my life.

"Oh yeah?"

"Figured she needs as many people in her corner as she can get right now," I mutter honestly. Well, somewhat honestly. I don't mention the fact that we share a special kind of mutual hate for Brett Dunn.

"True that. Hopefully, she's going to be discharged in a few days and we’ll be able to check her into the facility I've booked for her."

"She's up for rehab?"

"Yeah, she seems to be. I just hope it works out for Peyton and Kayden’s sake."

"We still going for breakfast in the morning?" I ask, thinking about our morning breakfast with our half-brother last week.

"Yeah, and you'd better be there or you'll ruin that little kid's life."

I chuckle to myself as I think about his excitement last weekend. He really is pretty awesome despite the shit that life has handed him. I guess being Brett's offspring means having to have some kind of built-in resilience to survive our father let alone the rest of this fucked up world.

"I'll be there, man. Wouldn't miss it for anything."

He nods, accepting that I'm telling the truth. "So this girl…"

"Do we have to?"

"Certainly fucking do, bro. Letty seems to think she might be important."

Oh yeah, she's real fucking important.

"I don't know, we're just taking it one step at a time."

He stares at me like I've just sprouted a second head.

"Wow, my little brother is finally growing up."

"Fuck you, man. I'm not about to put a fucking ring on it like someone else I know."

"I'm not proposing to Peyton," he argues.

"Maybe not today but you know it's fucking coming. You'd have nailed her ass down when you were both kids if you had a chance."

"I should have fucking done it too. Might have stopped all the bullshit we've been through."

"Not sure anything could stop the force that is our cunt of a father."

I realize my mistake the second I say the word and Luca's features harden.