Page 24

24

Lara

I wake up and know I’m not in the bed I’ve slept in since I arrived here. Looking around, I see the walls are white and not wood like at the cabin.

Everything after the moment I fell to the ground near the gate feels fuzzy to me now. I want to remember, but it’s like there’s a wall between that information and every other thought in my head.

Oh, God! Did they feed me while I was out? That would explain the fogginess of my mind. Whatever they put in the food and lemonade everyone consumes packs a punch. Why everyone just lets it happen is beyond me. They have to know they’re being drugged, and they’re okay with that?

Sheep. That’s what these people are. Sheep. They have a leader in Micah, and they follow him wherever he says they must.

Well, I’m not one of his flock. I refuse to let myself be one of his little lambs he orders around. I don’t care if he sends Nadine and her thugs in to handle me.

I sit up and swing my legs off the bed, noticing I don’t have any clothes on other than my bra and panties. My tan dress they made me wear sits draped over the chair in the corner, and my shoes are on the floor nearby. I shiver at the thought that some stranger undressed me while I was unconscious.

None of that matters, though. What I need to focus on now is getting out of this place, so I pad across the room to the window and look out. The view seems different than I expected. All I’ve seen of the farm is my cabin, the central compound, Micah’s room, and the gardens in the field. This view of green grass and a courtyard in the center of a white building looks like it doesn’t even belong on the farm.

Fear tears through me, and I grip the windowsill in terror. Did they move me to another location? Nash mentioned there were others. Is that why nothing outside this window looks familiar?

Oh, God. If they moved me, I won’t be able to find him to help me get my phone. I missed my big chance to escape, so I’m going to need that to get away from here.

A terrible thought makes my stomach sink. Did he tell Micah and Nadine what I planned to do? Is that why I’m in this strange place?

I need to get out of this room and find my phone. If I can call my mother, she’ll inform the authorities and this nightmare will end.

Slipping my dress over my head, I let it fall down my body while I slip my shoes on. Wherever I am has to have a way out. I just need to find it, and everything will be okay.

That thought calms my nerves, and I hurry over to the door to begin my second escape from The Golden Light. When I try to twist the doorknob, it won’t budge.

I’m locked in!

I bang on the metal door with every ounce of strength I possess as I scream, “Somebody! Anybody! Let me out!”

After yelling until I’m hoarse and nobody responding to my pleas, I return to the window. If I can’t get out through the door, then maybe I can through the window. Pushing on the glass, I can’t get it to open even an inch. It’s like it’s glued shut.

Frustration fills me as I pace back and forth across the room like a caged animal. Did I lose my one chance to get out of here and now I’m stuck in this place?

No! I can’t let that happen. I will be free. Whatever happens, I will leave this wretched place.

When someone knocks on the door, I frantically prepare myself for whoever it is. I’ve got nothing to protect myself with other than a comb sitting on top of the dresser, so I grab it and swear to God I’ll do whatever’s necessary to stop them from keeping me here.

I watch as the door slowly opens and reveals Micah. He’s dressed in his usual dark pants, but today he’s wearing a tan shirt that reminds me of the shirts my father wears when my mother drags him on cruises. I guess it’s a nice change from that whole messiah look he had going on before. As I study his appearance, I notice he’s wearing Crocs.

Is it costume day at The Golden Light?

“Nice look. Who are you supposed to be?” I ask as he steps into the room.

My little bit of sarcasm doesn’t seem to register with him. He closes the door, disappointing me, and sits down in a chair over near the window.

Trusting soul, isn’t he? I’m guessing he’s got guards stationed outside the door, so he can afford to be relaxed.

“Are you considering a new look, Lara?” he asks with a smile that seems out of place since he’s holding me hostage here.

I shake my head, not understanding what he means by that question, so he points at the comb. Looking down at my hand, I see I’m holding it like a weapon. He sees that too, I’m sure, so why did he bother with that new look comment?

Maybe I’m not the only one feeling sarcastic today.

“I want to leave.”

My words come out like a proclamation some statesman might make to end a war. They allow no room for argument or discussion. I do not want to stay here any longer.

Micah, however, doesn’t interpret them the same way. He tilts his head left and right and slightly frowns, as if he’s weighing the idea I’ve presented and wants to find the best way to let me know it’s not going to happen. Then he sighs, like dealing with me is such a drain on his energy.

“Well, that’s something we can talk about. What’s making you unhappy enough to want to leave here, Lara?”

I don’t know why he’s doing this social worker routine with me, but it’s only serving to make me angrier than I was when he walked in here. Mocking his sigh, I take a step toward him and glare down into his eyes.

“Because you won’t let me leave. Now I want to go. Right now.”

This time, he doesn’t bother to pretend like he’s thinking about it and immediately answers, “You know that can’t happen. Why don’t we sit down and talk about how you’re feeling today?”

God, this man infuriates me! I don’t know which Micah I hate more—the one who acted like he was Jesus Christ walking on water or this one with his kumbaya attitude.

“You’re already sitting down,” I snap.

He smiles like I said something funny and nods, but I know he doesn’t agree with anything I’m saying. It’s all part of his act to make people think he understands their pain. Well, he doesn’t understand mine. How could he? He’s the cause of my damn unhappiness.

“I know you wish things were different, Lara, but I know if you talked about what’s on your mind, you’d be a whole lot happier.”

Waving my hand around, I study him in disgust. “What is this whole thing you’re doing today? You look like you belong on some island, although the black pants might be a tad too hot for tropical weather. And what’s with the Crocs? Seriously? Since it’s not Halloween, I can’t imagine what you’re going for with this. I think I actually liked the misunderstood prophet look you were sporting before, Micah.”

My insult doesn’t have the effect I hoped for. Maybe he’s not bright enough to know I was being rude. I wasn’t exactly subtle about it, though, so whatever he’s smiling about now probably has nothing to do with what I think of his appearance.

“You seem very interested in what I’m wearing today. Do I remind you of someone and that upsets you?” he asks in a clinical way I think I despise the most.

Even more frustrated than before when I couldn’t get that damn window open, I flop down on the bed and roll my eyes. “No, you don’t remind me of anyone and that’s upsetting me. You’re the one who’s pissing me off with all your quiet talk and offers to discuss my feelings. I want to get out of here! What about that isn’t registering in your head? I don’t want to talk. I want to leave.”

“Maybe we can discuss another topic. What about how you’re feeling after this morning?”

What does he mean? Did something happen this morning that I don’t know about? Is he talking about my near escape?

“I’m feeling fine. I’d be feeling even better if I wasn’t being held here against my will.”

“Would you like something to eat? I’d be happy to escort you to the dining hall and sit with you while you have some lunch.”

I shake my head as what he says baffles me. “What? Have you given up on the whole messiah thing and now you want to be my best friend? I already have one of those, so too bad for you.”

“Who is your best friend, Lara?” he asks as he sits up straight in his chair.

For a few seconds, I debate whether I want to tell him the real reason I came to this place. He probably knows already. Nash likely told him what I’ve been up to the whole time I’ve been here, so there’s no point in hiding it anymore.

“My sister. Her name is Rina. She’s the reason I’m here.”

Micah tries to give me a smile, but the corners of his mouth barely hitch up. “I know. I know, Lara.”

So he’s been on to me, but for how long? I bet Nash confessed everything after all that screaming he did. And to think I was feeling sorry for him. Bastard! Now I hope he did suffer.

“Well, then you know. Great for you. It doesn’t change the fact that I want to get the hell out of here. I need to find Rina. I’ve decided she’s not here, so if you don’t mind, I’d like to go now.”

“Would you like to talk about Rina?”

God, he’s irritating.

I swing my legs front and back as I sit on the bed, something that reminds me of how she and I used to do that for hours in the bedroom we shared. Neither of us could ever sit still, even when our parents grounded us and sent us to our room. We’d talk and giggle about whatever happened that day, all the while swinging our legs with all that nervous energy cooped up inside us.

“No, I don’t want to talk about my sister. She isn’t someone who would ever come to a place like this. I know that now. I can’t believe I ever thought she’d even consider coming here. Rina’s too smart to buy into all this feel-good positivity nonsense.”

Micah nods, but I know he’s not really listening. He’s hearing me and waiting for his chance to respond. He’s one of those people. I hate having conversations with people like that. You barely get the words out of your mouth before they start yammering on about whatever’s on their mind.

Surprisingly, he doesn’t say anything for a long moment. I still think he’s a selfish bastard, though. One time being polite does not a nice person make.

Finally, he asks, “Do you think you’re like your sister, Lara?”

I can’t stop myself from throwing my head back in laughter. “Do you mean do I buy into all of this self-help crap you spew here? No, Micah. I do not. I was barely able to pretend the first time I met you, but now I can’t even muster up the acting chops to fake it. Neither my sister nor I would ever truly believe in all this nonsense you and your people spew here.”

He frowns at my condemnation of all of this Golden Light silliness. Too bad. Maybe if someone had told him the truth about it in the beginning, there wouldn’t be women out there being drugged day after day so they’re willing to work for him.

I am curious about something, though. Where is his best buddy Nadine and her boys? Out terrorizing like usual?

“So, tell me, Micah. Where’s Nadine today?”

Again, he’s quiet for a long time before he asks, “Nadine?”

Why does he want to play this game with me? He knows damn well who Nadine is. Why act like he doesn’t understand the question?

“Yeah. Your girl Nadine. She’s got to be lurking around here somewhere. She always is. You told me you wouldn’t let her harm me again, but I think we all know you don’t have that kind of control over her. Or maybe it’s that you don’t want to be the bad guy and prefer her to do the dirty work of scaring people. Either way, she’s a shitty person, and you’re a shitty person for letting her behave like that. You know, just in case nobody’s ever told you that before.”

With that, he stands from the chair and walks toward the door. “I’ll leave you be for now, Lara. Someone will bring you lunch soon since I’m sure you’re hungry. We’ll talk later.”

“I don’t want to talk later!” I scream. “I want to be let free from this place.”

Shaking his head, he softly answers, “You know that’s not possible, Lara. You’re here because you need to be here.”

I jump off the bed and rush toward him. Grabbing his arm, I look up into his eyes and hope he understands how desperate I am right now. If I had an actual weapon, I’d kill him and get the hell away from this place today.

He looks down at me with pure terror and tries to yank his arm away. I can’t let him go before I say something else, though, so I hold on tightly to keep him there so he must listen to me.

“I don’t need to be here! I know I have greatness in me. I knew that before I came here. Just let me go. I don’t want to be here with you and all these people who believe every syllable you utter. I don’t belong here. Why won’t you listen to me?”

Micah plucks my fingers off his arm one by one and sighs. “You’re so much worse than I thought when you got here. I want to help you. I truly do. I just don’t know if you can be helped. God help me, but I don’t know if you can.”

“I don’t need help! Why do you keep acting like I need this? Just let me go. Please!”

He shakes his head and hurries out of the room as he mumbles something about me not having a grasp on reality. Is he kidding? I know what’s real. I haven’t been consuming all that drug-laced food and lemonade he’s been feeding everyone. I’m as clearheaded as I’ve ever been. Things don’t get more real than how I feel right now.

And then, right before my eyes as the door slams shut, I see Rina standing there staring at me. She’s not here, though, so is this my imagination? Oh, God. Maybe they did give me some of the food without me realizing it.

“Rina, I don’t know where you are, but I came here looking for you. I’m sorry I thought you’d believe any of this bullshit. I should have known better.”

She doesn’t answer but shakes her head as she backs away from me. In her eyes, I see pure terror. I turn around to see what’s behind me that could be scaring her, but there’s nothing. When I turn back around to face her, she’s not there anymore.

My shoulders slump in defeat, and I sadly hang my head. It was all an illusion because of the drugs in my system. Damn Micah and his people!

All I want is to see Rina in person. Not a figment of my imagination. Not a dream. I want to see her in flesh and blood so I can know she’s okay.

I sit down on the bed as an uneasy feeling settles into my brain. Rina isn’t okay. I don’t know how I know, but I do. Something bad has happened to her.

God, I need to get out of here so I can find her and save her from The Golden Light.