Page 12

12

Lara

I follow Nash as disappointment fills me. I’m not convinced Rina isn’t here somewhere, but if he hasn’t seen her, maybe I’m wrong. She wouldn’t be someone who’d just swallow all this mumbo jumbo about some light, though. I know my sister. She’d listen because she’s craving something positive in her life, but I just can’t believe she’d buy into the stuff these people preach. She’d ask questions, and in this group, that would make her stand out.

This place is a cult, and Rina Simpson isn’t the type to give up everything just to walk around in a daze and pledge all she is for a few catch phrases that belong on a middle school inspirational poster.

As I walk beside Nash toward the door, I look him up and down and see an attractive man with short, dark hair and brown eyes that have a hint of caring in them. Like Nadine’s men, he’s clean shaven. Big and definitely someone who can handle himself, he reminds me of that bouncer at that club Rina and I go to in Wilmington sometimes who took a shine to her. My sister liked him too, but for some reason, they never ended up going out on a date.

I study him for another moment or two and wonder if Nash believes all of this Golden Light nonsense. I doubt it, but he stays, nevertheless. Why?

Maybe he gets some benefit other than feeling that he can have anything he wants in this world. Whatever that is, he’s clearly someone the leader believes in. This Micah person wouldn’t have sent him to deal with me if he wasn’t.

Nash stops as he sets his hand on the doorknob and turns his head to look at me. “Remember, no questions. Speak only if Micah asks you something directly. If you mess this up, I don’t know what will happen to you, and I’d hate to see you have to deal with Nadine and her men again.”

I want to say he could help me with that, but I keep my mouth shut and simply nod my understanding. Nash isn’t my savior here. He’s merely some guy following orders. I can’t rely on him to help me once we walk out of this building.

Satisfied I know how to act, he throws open the door and we step out into the blinding midday sun. I squint and follow him down the stairs as the heat of the day hits me like a brick wall. Summer in the mid-Atlantic is always a bit humid, but lately it’s been downright suffocating.

“Whew. Any chance this leader of yours has air conditioning in his place?” I ask as we walk toward a small group of women.

He snaps his head around to glare at me. “What did I just tell you? Woman, I swear you’re going to get yourself hurt.”

I lean away from him, a mixture of fear and embarrassment filling me. “I was just making small talk about the heat. I can’t even do that?”

Nash nods his head to a group of women as they pass us and remains silent until they’re far enough away they can’t hear him. Looking down at me, he says, “Do not say this leader of yours. He’s everyone’s leader, including yours. If you don’t get that through your head right now, you’re going to have a very hard time here.”

His words frighten me, as I suppose they’re meant to, so I don’t say anything more until another group of five women pass by. They slowly nod to him, and he does the same again. No words are spoken, but I can’t help but notice this bunch like the last have that vacant look about them.

“Why are all those women wearing those tan dresses that look like feed sacks? And why do they look like zombies?” I whisper as we continue to walk together.

Nash doesn’t respond. Instead, he gives me a dirty look. I guess I can’t ask about the ugly clothes every woman here wears or why they look like someone’s sucked out their brains either.

Frustrated, I ask, “Are there any men here who aren’t like you or those goons who would have done God only knows what to me if you hadn’t shown up?”

He doesn’t answer, and when I begin to ask again, I see why. Another group of women come out from behind a rundown-looking building, and they look even more like zombies than the others. They don’t even notice us as they walk by in the same direction as the last two groups did, making me wonder where everyone is going in this heat. I hope it’s somewhere cool, or there are going to be more people dropping dead.

The memory of Anna makes me stop for a moment, and I take a deep breath in to stop myself from crying. I don’t know why I’m so emotional about what happened to her. I barely knew the woman. We just met for the first time yesterday, for God’s sake. She was barely more than a stranger to me.

Even as I tell myself all of that, I know the real reason why thinking about her dying while I slept just a few feet away from her tears me up. What if that happened to Rina? I’d hope someone would care enough about her as a fellow human being to mourn her passing.

Lost in thought about Anna and the horrible possibility that my sister has met the same fate, I don’t notice Nash has continued walking and left me standing alone in the center of the compound. When I see him storming back toward me, I recoil in fear.

“What are you doing? Is it that you don’t understand simple instructions? I told you not to do anything to be noticed, and not five minutes later here you are standing alone in the middle of the compound? It’s like you want to be punished,” he snaps.

Rage fills his dark eyes, and I see in him what I saw in those four henchmen of Nadine’s. Why the hell is he so worried about what I do? Even as I silently ask myself that question, I can guess the answer. He’ll probably get in trouble if I step out of line. I doubt it’s because he’s concerned for my welfare.

“I’m sorry. I was thinking about Anna and got lost in my head for a few seconds there. There’s nobody around to even see me, so I don’t know what the hell you’re so freaked out about. Anyway, I doubt a single one of those women even noticed me. They aren’t exactly looking sharp, if you know what I mean.”

He shakes his head and then moves his eyes to look at all the buildings around us. “There are cameras everywhere, so you’re always seen here. Never forget that. Not just indoors. Outdoors too. Wherever you are on the farm, you can be watched. If you don’t remember that, then this is going to be the last time we talk.”

“Why? Because you don’t want to risk being seen with a troublemaker?” I ask sarcastically, tired of his stressing out just because he wants to save his own hide.

He leans down and gets into my face so I can see the yellow flecks that circle the pupils in his brown eyes. “No. Because you’ll be dead. Now shut your mouth and keep it shut the rest of the way.”

We stand there staring at one another for a long moment before he grimaces and turns on his heel. “Come on. Let’s go.”

As we walk, I look around, making sure not to move my head as I do so no one watching can see I’m checking the place out. It looks like that colonial farm we visited on my sixth grade class trip. Old buildings sit on the edges of a large open dirt area. The difference is that farm was filled with male and female actors playing the part of early American settlers carving out a new world. The people here seem to be overwhelmingly female and whatever they’re playing at, it has nothing to do with making a better life for themselves.

The women I’ve seen today all seem lost, like they’ve been hypnotized to be docile. Not that it would surprise me if that’s happening. You can’t exactly have followers thinking and asking questions. What kind of cult would that be?

I’m guessing Melody and Delilah have been instructed to only find females to bring to this place. That would explain why out of all of us who arrived yesterday there were no men.

The memory of how much those two smelled like weed pops into my head, and I can’t help but wonder if that’s what’s going on with all the women here. Marijuana doesn’t make you that dopey, though, and as high as Melody and Delilah may have been, they didn’t look like zombies like these women I’ve seen today do.

Nash slows down his pace, so I follow suit, afraid if I don’t Nadine might come out of nowhere and take over for him. He may frighten me, but I don’t have the sense he wants to hurt me. That woman, on the other hand, clearly enjoys inflicting pain on people. I saw it in her eyes when she was threatening me. She was barely holding herself back from lashing out.

He stops at the bottom of the stairs to another white building, but this one has a different feel to it. Every other building I’ve seen or been in since I arrived here was old and reminded me of the cabins at summer camp. This building seems far more modern with a front porch and the front door painted green.

Without turning to look at me, he says in a low voice, “Remember what I said. Speak only if Micah asks you a direct question. No smart answers.”

“Can I ask you one more question before I go in?”

Exhaling a sigh like he can’t hold his frustration in any more, he looks over at me and squints as a bead of sweat rolls down the side of his face. “Fine. Go ahead. I have a feeling I couldn’t stop you if I wanted to.”

That this man, at least a foot taller and a hundred pounds heavier than me, would say that seems bizarre, but I don’t have time to make a comment on that. I’ve got far more serious concerns at this moment as I look forward at that green door.

“Will Nadine and her men be in there with the leader?”

Nash’s expression softens, and he shakes his head. “I don’t think so, but don’t be surprised if they show up. She’s closer to Micah than anyone else in The Golden Light.”

“Closer than you?” I ask, even though I know the answer.

That gets me a smile and a chuckle. “Much. I’m nobody here. Just a guard who follows orders.”

The flash of a memory from a history class in high school when we studied Nazi Germany makes me wince at Nash’s description of himself. I want to believe he’s not merely some mindless follower like all those people who allowed Hitler to run wild throughout Europe, but I don’t know.

“Well, thanks for the information. I appreciate the head’s up on how to act in there.”

He turns his entire body to face me, and I see worry etched into his expression, especially in the elevens between his eyes. “Micah isn’t bad. He cares about everyone here. I don’t know where I’d be if I hadn’t found The Golden Light. He can help you too.”

For the first time since I met him, Nash sounds like a true believer. I’m curious what his life was like if this Micah guy and his cult of positivity helped him. He seems so confident and in control of himself. Maybe it was drugs. I can see that. They’ve gotten a lot of people far tougher than him in this world.

“Okay. Will you be coming in with me?” I ask as that look of sincerity fades away and the hardness from earlier returns.

Nodding, he sighs. “I will. I don’t know how long I’ll be staying, though.”

We stand staring at that green door like it’s a symbol for us to come in, and I say, “Well, thank you for everything, Nash. I won’t forget what you said.”

When his foot lands on the first step, he says, “Don’t. It might be all that keeps you safe here.”

I swallow hard and feel all the moisture suddenly leave my mouth as I follow him up the stairs to the porch. My nature is to ask questions. I’ve always been that way, even as a small child. Standing silently and not looking for answers are antithetical to who I am, so Nash has no idea how hard this meeting is going to be for me. I’m here to find my sister and bring her home, so all I want to do is ask about where she is. Pretending to be a happy and content follower of this positivity nonsense everyone here is so eager to believe may be the hardest thing I’ll ever do.

But if that’s how I must act to be able to stay here and snoop around for what may have happened to Rina, then I’ll do it. I just need to keep out of Nadine’s way, or the next time I’m guessing there will be no Nash to save me from what she commands her men to do to me.